Is the trend towards "Mannies" concerning?

[DawnCt1]

I was watching something on tv the other day about men who are now taking positions of "mannies", instead of "nannies". The HR person who arranges such arrangements said that it is becoming more popular, etc. On the face of it, it seems like a "good idea" for families with boys who want a man to care for their children instead of women. 25 years ago, one of my good friends had a male babysitter. He molested her 5 year old son. When the police responded, they said, "it is not unusual for male babysitters to molest children. They are the most common perpetrators." She thought it was a good thing that she had a "responsible, 18 year old male" to take care of her son until that event. As a mother of four sons who are now grown; they never had any interest in babysitting, even though they were asked by friends and neighbors, they made excuses. That was fine with me because anyone can accuse anyone of anything. I don't have an opinion one way or the other in the current times. I did at the time it happened to my friend's son. Have times changed so it isn't a concern or, do pedephiles still go to the "traditional places" that children are and we need to be concerned?

 

[cardaway]

Because the men could be child molesters? Women hurt kids too, plenty of cases of that.

The only thing you left out is being worried of they were gay or not.

 

[debster812]

And what about all the nice, kindly women who phsically abuse their charges?

Much ado about nothing I think.

Be as thorough as you can in checking references on your sitters (regardless of gender), keep your eyes open, be careful, and do the best you can.

We have had both male and female sitters for DS, all of whom I trust implicitly

 

[sunee]

This is totally sexist and totally wrong, but I would never hire a guy to watch my kids. Teach or coach them, sure...big brother, maybe...but not as a nanny. No way. I think it is creepy for a guy to even want to do that.

But, that is probably all my hang-up, and MY problem. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the Mannies.

...and I'm all for it if other people want to do it!!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

This is totally sexist and totally wrong, but I would never hire a guy to watch my kids. Teach or coach them, sure...big brother, maybe...but not as a nanny. No way. I think it is creepy for a guy to even want to do that.

But, that is probably all my hang-up, and MY problem. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the Mannies.

...and I'm all for it if other people want to do it!!!

yep, unfortunately I agree. I have sons. They love to hang with kids and teach them to swim, surf, etc. And if called on in a pinch they'd babysit. But not one of their friends would sign up for a summer of full time diaper, bath, and clean up duty for kids. I know it's sexist. I don't really care. If it's my kids I'd need to be comfortable.

 

[cardaway]

I think it is creepy for a guy to even want to do that.

"Nice" - cardaway ~ Big Brother since 1989.

 

[Tiggeroo]

"Nice" - cardaway ~ Big Brother since 1989.

Big brother is nothing like a nannie. They are an influence and spend quality time. But they're not doing diapers, baths, etc. I'm not saying this is bad for a guy to do. But there is a difference between the two.

 

[gris gris]

My DD has a lot of boys that work at her preschool and I think it's great. I would never assume the worst about them. They're training to be great dads. They're showing these little kids that men can be caring too. Maybe if some men (my DH included) had more exposure to little kids and how to care for them, they wouldn't be so uncomfortable in the dad role.

 

[L107ANGEL]

"Nice" - cardaway ~ Big Brother since 1989.

are you really? Thats really cool!

 

[dmslush]

I work for Children's services, and most of the abuse allegations that I have seen deal with mothers abusing their sons, so I don't put a lot of weight into the male perp thing. I wouldn't have an issue with a Mannie. My brother would make a great Mannie. He loves children. I couldn't have raised my dd without his help, he continues to be like a second father to her. However, he really doesn't want children of his own. He has often said that he would love to skip his own kids and go straight to grandchildren LOL. Right now, he is debating going back to school to become an elementary school teacher.

 

[KristinBelle]

Growing up my favorite babysitter ever was male, we used to have so much fun when he watched us. I wouldn't have a problem with a Mannie.

 

[hentob]

We use high school babysitters. All male. Usually my brother, but if he isn't available for an evening out, one of his friends will come over.

My children prefer older teen boys (as opposed to the girls) b/c they will play video games, let them eat pizza without a plate , teach them how to play poker and don't yap on the phone.


We like them because they are very reliable and so happy for the very good pay. They would drop most plans to come get paid to play video games and cards with elementary school age kids

 

[cardaway]

Big brother is nothing like a nannie. They are an influence and spend quality time. But they're not doing diapers, baths, etc. I'm not saying this is bad for a guy to do. But there is a difference between the two.

Why, because they see the kid naked? If anything should be a concern it's a guy taking your son away for an entire day. The background checks to be a Big Brother are very extensive. I can tell you that in Washington State they are worse than trying to open a daycare since I've done both.

 

[cardaway]

are you really? Thats really cool!

Really. I had one as a pre-teen and it really made a difference. It's one thing I can easily do to pay it back. It's a lot of fun too.

 

[sunee]

"Nice" - cardaway ~ Big Brother since 1989.

I have no idea why you put quotation marks around the word "nice," except that you might not know what their purpose is. Quotation marks aren't used for emphasis, they are used to quote.

I have zero problem with Big Brothers and think it is very cool that you are one. I'm sure we're all interested in what that experience has been like and how your little brothers are all doing! Please tell us about it.

 

[noahynav]

For those of you with concerns......how is this any different than letting your husband change diapers or give baths? Are you worried that they will hurt your children? Your brother, your father, FIL, older son..etc?

Are you saying that your husbands would not have made good babysitters? Some men do molest, as do some women. To lump all men in the same catergory because "they are most likely to molest" is just wrong. It is all about trust and knowing who you are leaving your child with.

I have to imagine that the reason some of these guys are mannies is because they are good with children and they will probably be fathers themselves one day. I would be no more worried that they will hurt the children they are caring for, than they will their own children.

 

[DawnCt1]

Because the men could be child molesters? Women hurt kids too, plenty of cases of that.

The only thing you left out is being worried of they were gay or not.

First of all, this isn't my issue. My friend was essentially chastised by the police, who in so many words said; "why on earth would you have a male babysitter?" I knew she had a male babysitter. I didn't think twice about it. I thought it was nice that he had a guy that would toss a football, etc with him.
The police then gave her the stats at the time, which were overwhelmingly not in favor of male babysitters. We certainly know that there have been a plethora of female teachers having sex with teenage boys. We are talking about a five year old here.

 

[cardaway]

I have no idea why you put quotation marks around the word "nice," except that you might not know what their purpose is. Quotation marks aren't used for emphasis, they are used to quote.

I'm far from the first person to use something purposefully incorrectly on an internet BB, but that was my attempt to make it look like a magazine quote.

I have zero problem with Big Brothers and think it is very cool that you are one. I'm sure we're all interested in what that experience has been like and how your little brothers are all doing! Please tell us about it.

Good to know, but it sure does look like you have other issues that I don't agree with. I see no reason to be more concerned with men at any level.

My current "little brother" is my 11th and we just happen to be going to the zoo again on Saturday. In fact he gets to join my real family since we're taking all of them as part of our membership.

 

[DawnCt1]

For those of you with concerns......how is this any different than letting your husband change diapers or give baths? Are you worried that they will hurt your children? Your brother, your father, FIL, older son..etc?

Are you saying that your husbands would not have made good babysitters? Some men do molest, as do some women. To lump all men in the same catergory because "they are most likely to molest" is just wrong. It is all about trust and knowing who you are leaving your child with.

.

I have not come down on one side or the other of this issue, BUT to compare a father, or an uncle or a grandfather to a man who is unrelated to your children and seeks a position as a babysitter is ridiculous. No, not all men are molesters but molesters do put themselves where there are children.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Really. I had one as a pre-teen and it really made a difference. It's one thing I can easily do to pay it back. It's a lot of fun too.

Ya know, thats really cool!!! Thanks for making a positive difference!