Is the character building "value" of youth sports overrated?

[stevenpensacola]

Last night the kids were watching something on the Disney Channel, when I heard something which caught my attention.

Between shows, the DC often airs these short videos highlighting the accomplishments of some kid. They were interviewing a boy and his parents.

The boy played in every organized sporting league available, and his parents made the comment about how this had built such "character" into their son.

That sounds good on the surface, but I really don't feel that's a true statement. I think your character defines HOW you play the sport, instead of the sport defining your character.

I grew up playing football and baseball, and can not say that the "lessons learned" playing these sports made me the person I am today.

What do you think?

It seems that it's hip to have your kids involved in every thing imaginable these days...when do they have time to just sit, read, use their imaginations, instead of spending all their free time being hauled from one event to another.
Oops, I think I just opened another can of worms...

 

[RadioNate]

Considering I never played a sport and I think my character is fine I think the character building value of sports are overrated. I do think being involved in SOMETHING is important to help learn about being part of a team, working together, etc but it doesn't have to be a athletic sport.

 

[Nancy]

I agree 100%. Being in sports does not guarantee that you have "character" it is how you hadle yourslef while playing sports that does that (think back a few weeks ago to the NBA)

I feel sorry for kids that are forced into having to do everything...i don't know what happened to just letting kids be kids. Why does everyting have to be over organized? My girls danced, because they wanted to, not because they "had" to. They stopped because they no longer wnated to spend all their time at the studio. Now they have time for everyting else, they go out with friends, they do school activities OR they just stay home and do nothing.

 

[Trish Bessette]

I agree with you 100%! Sports do not define your character, only you do that. Sports do teach the value of working as a team, encourages youth to praise other kids on the team as well as belonging. These are great things to learn but I don't believe they define a person.

For many it is hip to fill up their childrens "social calendar" with everything imaginable. For me, I let my daughters choose. My oldest loves soccer and basketball while my youngest doesn't care do do any of that.

To each their own....

 

[Bichon Barb]

While I think sports are good for kids, both physically and mentally, I think they are way overrated. We have kids in our neighborhood that do three sports at a time. Me thinketh that we have some parents who are living vicariously through Junior.

My fear is that we are raising a generation of kids who need to be constantly stimulated--kids who don't know how to entertain themselves, don't use their imaginations and who don't know how to be alone with their thoughts.

I think it's more important for kids to get a taste of different activities such as music and other arts. And if you want your child to build character, how about helping others through volunteer work or church youth group?

 

[Christine]

I don't think so either. Actually, my kids have tried very sports and while they sometimes had fun, I would say, overall, they learned more bad things than good. It seems that if you're not a superstar, then the sporting experience isn't that great.

 

[Bichon Barb]

I don't think so either. Actually, my kids have tried very sports and while they sometimes had fun, I would say, overall, they learned more bad things than good. It seems that if you're not a superstar, then the sporting experience isn't that great.

Then you've got the side effect of having a 10 year old who thinks he's going to be the next Carmelo or LeBron. He thinks he doesn't need study, because he's going to (insert expensive university here) on a full basketball scholarship and then will be drafted into the NBA with a multi million dollar contract. I have two boys who are already choosing colors for their first Hummers.

 

[Christine]

Then you've got the side effect of having a 10 year old who thinks he's going to be the next Carmelo or LeBron. He thinks he doesn't need study, because he's going to (insert expensive university here) on a full basketball scholarship and then will be drafted into the NBA with a multi million dollar contract. I have two boys who are already choosing colors for their first Hummers.

Nah, not that side effect. Neither of my kids are great at sports--just very average. So they either never get to play much or they aren't "picked" for things because they aren't good enough. My son suffers from it more than my DD. The girls seem to be a bit nicer about it. So, they just don't like the whole competition thing and some of the unsportsman-like behavior they've seen. It hasn't been totally bad--they did have some good times when they were younger, but they completely lost interest because of some of the negative things.

 

[danacara]

I played a ton of sports, eleven varsity letters and I wasn't terribly athletic, I just liked to win ... a LOT. I might be the most competitive chick I've ever met, ha. I would say that sports shaped my character. I like to work in teams, I like to accomplish, I like to practice, I like to compete, I like the adrenaline surge in every aspect of my life. Sports give a kid enough to do that they have no time to rebel plus, they come with a ready-made identity that makes high school a heck of a lot easier. Just had to come in with my pro-sports mentality. I don't think my mother lived vicariously through my t-ball career but she might've really enjoyed lacrosse, I think in some ways she feels like she was born a generation too early as a woman with respect to sports.

 

[DemonLlama]

I also think it depends a lot on many variables: the child, the sport, the coach, and the parents. My DD decided this weekend that she was ready to quit gymnastics so she could try softball in the spring and soccer in the fall, which is a healthy attitude. Try new things, enjoy the outdoors, make new friends.

And she has built character from her time in gymnastics: she supports others who are competing against her, she pushes herself farther than she thinks possible, and she accomplishes things over time that simply require practice, again and again. These are the lessons and the character building I think some sports can instill in kids, if they have the right support system in place to help them, like parents and coaches who aren't out to only be "number one".

 

[Pete's Mom]

Pete has played baseball for the past three years and is an average player. He has learned a lot about teamwork, responsibility, and how to win and lose with grace so I do believe that it helps to build character. Most importantly, he has learned to loosen up and have fun.

This year, he wanted to play basketball. He is a very quiet, painfully shy at times, and has never played before, so naturally I was worried about him being, well, pushed around. After a few timid practices, he has played two games so far this season and he is like a different kid on the court. He is not afraid to go after the ball, he loves to steal it and dribble as fast as he can down the court. When he steps off the court, he is quiet, shy, and subdued Pete again. It's amazing.

 

[stevenpensacola]

Good comments by all.

I think sports exposes your character, especially when you're getting your back-end kicked! If you're a quitter, you'll give up when the going gets tough, if you've got perseverance, you'll tough it out, etc.

As an adult I've done quite a big of distance cycling...a solo sport such as that when it's just you against "whatever" will show you what you're made of.

When you're bumped, whatever's inside of you is gonna spill out.

 

[jrmasm]

Neither of my kids are great at sports--just very average. So they either never get to play much or they aren't "picked" for things because they aren't good enough.

So do you think that this aspect of sports is a negative? Should sports be less about competition and more about building self esteem?

 

[RadioNate]

I played a ton of sports, eleven varsity letters and I wasn't terribly athletic, I just liked to win ... a LOT. I might be the most competitive chick I've ever met, ha. I would say that sports shaped my character. I like to work in teams, I like to accomplish, I like to practice, I like to compete, I like the adrenaline surge in every aspect of my life. Sports give a kid enough to do that they have no time to rebel plus, they come with a ready-made identity that makes high school a heck of a lot easier. Just had to come in with my pro-sports mentality. I don't think my mother lived vicariously through my t-ball career but she might've really enjoyed lacrosse, I think in some ways she feels like she was born a generation too early as a woman with respect to sports.

Couldn't you say this about any activity? Band, theatre, choir etc all involve working in teams, praticing, and accomplishments. I wasn't in band but my HS band won several National Championships a much bigger accomplishment in my book than any our sports teams did yet the sports teams got the respect. Substitute anything for "sports" in "Sports give a kid enough to do that they have no time to rebel." I do have to laugh though because in my HS it was the jocks who had the parties complete with kegs, drugs and lots of gambleing.

I also agree that if you aren't very good at the sport that particapation can be more harmful than good.

I'm not against sports. My point is that it doesn't have to be a SPORT. I think any activity can be character building.

 

[Pete's Mom]

When you're bumped, whatever's inside of you is gonna spill out.

What a great saying!! I tend to worry about Pete...A LOT and try to anticipate anything that could go wrong and try to head it off at the pass. Overprotective. Yup, I am pathetic.

The first time he got knocked down in basketball, I freaked. I remember standing there with my hands clenched ready to spring out on the court to "save him". I was totally stunned when he got right back up and back into the fray. I didn't know he had it in him so this has been a big learning experience for me as well.

 

[Christine]

So do you think that this aspect of sports is a negative? Should sports be less about competition and more about building self esteem?

Not necessarily. It is all about competition obviously and if you don't have what it takes then basically you are forced out. I understand that and it doesn't bother me. However, it doesn't mean that my kids don't enjoy soccer. They actually love to play but, now that they have gotten older, it's like there really is not place for them anymore. I guess I'd like to get them on some "just for the fun of it" teams but there aren't any in our area right now.

My son is 9 years old and he likes to play around at PE and recess with the basketball. They have quick pick up games. A few of the boys are very good at it and have told my son "why do you bother playing, you're no good at this." So he gets discouraged and stops. I guess that mentality I just hate.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I believe that charactor is born in the home. Sports, music and theater, and the arts are ways of practicing these principles with the rest of the world and learning their ramifications. I have met some great young men (and young ladies of course!) of charactor at soccer, and have met some real losers. My belief is that the apple does not fall far from the tree.

 

[Pete's Mom]

It's like I tell Pete, even Chipper Jones strikes out every now and then.

 

[Sandy V.]

"I believe that charactor is born in the home. Sports, music and theater, and the arts are ways of practicing these principles with the rest of the world and learning their ramifications. I have met some great young men of charactor at soccer, and have met some real losers. My belief is that the apple does not fall far from the tree."

I agree 100% with this statement.

I would also add that my teens have both played sports for 10 years now, and the most negative aspect of it is the ADULTS (both coaches and "stage" parents) who can't seem to figure out that ISN'T all about living through what the kids do on the field.

I am extremely competitive myself and our family's experiences have been mostly positive, but it's a good thing we are on the tail end of all of this because the self-promoting behavior gets old after awhile.

 

[LvsTnk]

Well, I see it from all sides. I have a DD who is a soph. and has 4 varsity letters in 4 different sports. She is just a natural athlete. It is her identity at school weather she wants it to be or not if she chose to quit or sit out game because her knees are a mess (she has to put a heating pad on them every morning and ice them at night) she feels like she will let everyone down. Has it built character or just an adjustment to pain and endurance, I don't know I will get back to you on that. We have had many a talk about this and finally this year we are trying some new stuff, but will not give up her sports.

My DS on the other hand has to work twice as hard as DD and only this, his senior year has seen it pay off. But he cheers his sister on and she does the same for him. Sports is not his identity...he is a very good artist and also an amazing writer.


Now my youngest DS has Down Syndrome, talk about character, during their "Buddy" baseball games EVERYONE is Sammy Sosa! His siblings are there every Sunday helping out and the experience makes them see what sports is truely all about. Everyone wins, everyone plays, and everyone feels good about themselves.

Sorry so long, but I was never a good athlete, loved to watch though. So, I am still trying to understand their need to excell at it. I guess it's like Danacara said " I loved the rush".