Is the character building "value" of youth sports overrated?

[Christine]

Well, I can tell you that I've never done well at sports and I feel very "pressured" by competition. But yesterday was a "rebirth" for me, so to speak. We had our annual office party at the bowling alley. Out of 30 employees I placed at #5 and WAS THE TOP WOMAN BOWLER!!!! YEEE-HAWWWWW. So, yeah, I got the rush. But everytime I got up to bowl I felt like I was gonna vomit.

 

[charabby]

While I think sports are good for kids, both physically and mentally, I think they are way overrated. We have kids in our neighborhood that do three sports at a time. Me thinketh that we have some parents who are living vicariously through Junior.

My fear is that we are raising a generation of kids who need to be constantly stimulated--kids who don't know how to entertain themselves, don't use their imaginations and who don't know how to be alone with their thoughts.

I think it's more important for kids to get a taste of different activities such as music and other arts. And if you want your child to build character, how about helping others through volunteer work or church youth group?

In re: to the overextended kid, it's either what you say - parents living vicariously or parents who can't say 'no'. There are a few families at our dance studio that have their kids in *everything* - sports, company dance, etc. and then complain and complain about how busy they are. One mom in particular is very vocal (in front of her dd) about how SHE (the dd) insists on playing soccer, doing scouts, and taking a ton of dance and how crazy it makes the whole family. I'm thinking, if you can't handle it then say 'no.'

I agree that modern kids seem to need constant entertainment and stimulation, but I blame media more than anything. The constant hum of TV, CDs, computer games, etc. makes it awfully hard to listen to themselves think. In fact, we encourage our youngest to do scouts or dance or whatever to get her out of the house doing something other than watching TV or playing computer games. It disciplines the whole family to be more active, although I am careful to not carried away and sign the kids up for too much. Right now, they each dance 1-2 nights a week and go to girl scouts every other week. (My dds are 6 and 9). We used to do more, but it was nuts and I am *so glad* I put a stop to it. We're all much happier getting some free time.

To answer the OP, I agree that the character building aspect of youth sports (and other activities) can be overrated. It depends upon how the activity is run, how the parents behave, and whether there is balance in the participants' lives.

 

[danacara]

I wasn't in band but my HS band won several National Championships a much bigger accomplishment in my book than any our sports teams did yet the sports teams got the respect. Substitute anything for "sports" in "Sports give a kid enough to do that they have no time to rebel." I do have to laugh though because in my HS it was the jocks who had the parties complete with kegs, drugs and lots of gambleing.

Nate, the first part, I think you hit the nail on the head. School is just smoother and more pleasant if you have the respect of your peers, and in most American schools, sports is where it's at, moreso than academic or artistic talent. I'm not sure why, I trust some sociologist has some theory that combines the revolutionary American psyche, the sexual appeal of robust health, and the National Football League but as much as some may resent it, that's the way it often is. We're all about the rush.

The second point ... wow, we must've had the wrong coaches. I had a friday night curfew call to make sure we were rested for Saturday games. There was drinking, for sure, but somehow we never got good gambling, ? But if you have a respected identity - "smart jock" or whatever - somehow you're less likely to wind up plotting Columbine in your garage.

 

[kasar]

Having been involved in sports as a kid and now as a parent, I can see that there are positive and negative sides to sports but the positive far outweighs the negative, IMH. For us, sports are for socializing, getting exercise and learning to deal with all kinds of people and situations.

Here's an example of a wonderful learning experience: last week my DD played a basketball game against a really tough team. Tons of fouls and parent-cringing going on. My DD was flattened on several occassions but she also fouled out with over a minute left, so she's no choir angel herself on the court. A hard game to play and even harder to watch. Anyhow, at the end of the game when both teams are doing their little "good game, good game" handshake thing, one of the players on the other team went down the line with her elbow out and hurt a lot of the kids on our team (DD included). There were tears and red marks, etc. When our coach went to talk to their coach (who was the girl's dad, naturally) he said we were sore losers and whimps. Whatever.

My DD wants to play them again so she can "flatten" her (her words) . After a long talk we worked out that, as bad as it was to be on the receiving end of it, it would be worse to be a bully and have people think that way about us. If we play FAIR and if we're good sports then we can be proud of ourselves and that's far better than winning any game. A textbook parenting opportunity there that I don't know we'd find without sports. So, it does mean something bigger than "just a game" presuming that it's treated that way by the adults.

 

[dmfuru]

"Sports do not build character. They reveal it."


John Wooden