darlak
<font color=darkorchid>By the way, if my children
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2007
- Messages
- 3,236
First, a little condensed background:
1958-One five-person cemetery plot each purchased by my parents, my maternal grandparents and my maternal aunt and uncle in a small church owned cemetery. The three plots are adjacent to one another.
Prior to 1995-large extended maternal family w/ usually 25-35 at family gatherings such as Christmas, etc.
1995-2002-death of my father and both maternal grandparents. After my father’s death, he was buried in another town where he lived w/ his second wife. Following the funeral, my uncle made it known that he had bought my parent’s cemetery plot from my father’s late wife. These plots are now considered premium and have not been available in this select location in about 50 years. My mother informed him that my father’s second wife had no right to sell him this plot since she was awarded the deed to it in her divorce settlement from my father.
2003-When my mother died, I was out of town and prior to my return, my uncle made arrangements with 1 of my brothers (known to have a serious drug problem), to bury her on my grandparent's plot next to them. I did not learn of this until arriving at the cemetery on the day of my mother’s burial. I should mention here that my uncle is the sole custodian and record keeper for this church run cemetery. He alone is in charge of all cemetery records at his church. I wanted to put up a headstone on my mother’s grave, My uncle told me that he and my aunt would only allow a footstone to be placed there. She is buried next to my grandparents, who both have a headstone. This plot now belongs to my aunt, as awarded in my grandparent’s wills, as their only surviving child. A few months following her burial, my uncle tried to purchase this plot from my 3 brothers and some money actually changed hands between him and the drug-addicted brother. I and my 2 other brothers refused to sell to him. I have not spoken to my aunt or uncle since that time.
June 21, 2007-My youngest brother dies in Savannah, GA, at the age of 37, following his fight with testicular cancer. My husband and I travel to Savannah to take care of all my brother’s affairs. He was unmarried with no children and my other 2 brothers are unable to help at all. My brother had no life insurance. My husband, bless his heart, deals with my uncle since he is in charge of opening and closing the graves. We are expecting a fight, but get instead, a very understanding and what we feel is a compassionate response. We make the arrangements to have his remains returned home and buried on my parent’s plot in the gravesite closest to my mother, as my late brother wanted. A memorial service was held in Savannah at my brother’s home church and we plan only a graveside service here. My husband and I arrived home late the night before the day of the service here, having made all other arrangements by phone while out of town.
We arrive at the cemetery to find that my uncle has opened a gravesite 14 plots away from the one purchased by my parents in 1958. This “site” is on a dirt service road next to the fence surrounding the cemetery. This entire plot is in an area that was not even available for purchasing in 1958. It only became available when some adjacent land was purchased around 1980. There is no grass and the only vegetation at all is a few mimosa trees sprouting in the dirt. I was stunned and devastated. I felt I had no choice at the time but to allow the burial to take place as planned. I feel certain that my uncle has doctored the paperwork in the church cemetery office. One of my surviving brother’s is in prison (can you guess which one?) and the other brother said that he just doesn’t feel it’s worth fighting over. I do not plan to be buried there at all. My feeling is that my youngest brother wanted to be buried as close as possible to our mother and that’s worth fighting over to me.
I wanted to vent, but would also like other’s opinions.
1958-One five-person cemetery plot each purchased by my parents, my maternal grandparents and my maternal aunt and uncle in a small church owned cemetery. The three plots are adjacent to one another.
Prior to 1995-large extended maternal family w/ usually 25-35 at family gatherings such as Christmas, etc.
1995-2002-death of my father and both maternal grandparents. After my father’s death, he was buried in another town where he lived w/ his second wife. Following the funeral, my uncle made it known that he had bought my parent’s cemetery plot from my father’s late wife. These plots are now considered premium and have not been available in this select location in about 50 years. My mother informed him that my father’s second wife had no right to sell him this plot since she was awarded the deed to it in her divorce settlement from my father.
2003-When my mother died, I was out of town and prior to my return, my uncle made arrangements with 1 of my brothers (known to have a serious drug problem), to bury her on my grandparent's plot next to them. I did not learn of this until arriving at the cemetery on the day of my mother’s burial. I should mention here that my uncle is the sole custodian and record keeper for this church run cemetery. He alone is in charge of all cemetery records at his church. I wanted to put up a headstone on my mother’s grave, My uncle told me that he and my aunt would only allow a footstone to be placed there. She is buried next to my grandparents, who both have a headstone. This plot now belongs to my aunt, as awarded in my grandparent’s wills, as their only surviving child. A few months following her burial, my uncle tried to purchase this plot from my 3 brothers and some money actually changed hands between him and the drug-addicted brother. I and my 2 other brothers refused to sell to him. I have not spoken to my aunt or uncle since that time.
June 21, 2007-My youngest brother dies in Savannah, GA, at the age of 37, following his fight with testicular cancer. My husband and I travel to Savannah to take care of all my brother’s affairs. He was unmarried with no children and my other 2 brothers are unable to help at all. My brother had no life insurance. My husband, bless his heart, deals with my uncle since he is in charge of opening and closing the graves. We are expecting a fight, but get instead, a very understanding and what we feel is a compassionate response. We make the arrangements to have his remains returned home and buried on my parent’s plot in the gravesite closest to my mother, as my late brother wanted. A memorial service was held in Savannah at my brother’s home church and we plan only a graveside service here. My husband and I arrived home late the night before the day of the service here, having made all other arrangements by phone while out of town.
We arrive at the cemetery to find that my uncle has opened a gravesite 14 plots away from the one purchased by my parents in 1958. This “site” is on a dirt service road next to the fence surrounding the cemetery. This entire plot is in an area that was not even available for purchasing in 1958. It only became available when some adjacent land was purchased around 1980. There is no grass and the only vegetation at all is a few mimosa trees sprouting in the dirt. I was stunned and devastated. I felt I had no choice at the time but to allow the burial to take place as planned. I feel certain that my uncle has doctored the paperwork in the church cemetery office. One of my surviving brother’s is in prison (can you guess which one?) and the other brother said that he just doesn’t feel it’s worth fighting over. I do not plan to be buried there at all. My feeling is that my youngest brother wanted to be buried as close as possible to our mother and that’s worth fighting over to me.
I wanted to vent, but would also like other’s opinions.
. 
