Is it wrong to ask for BF to join my bday dinner?-UPDATE...:)

[florida-again]

My 21st bday is in a few days and I'm going home to see my family.
My mum and step dad are going to take my sisters and I out for dinner to celebrate.
Me and BF have been together 3 years so my family know him pretty well.

Do you think it would be rude of me to ask my family if he could join us for dinner? (BF and I will celebrate my together on my actual bday a few days later)

Don't flame me! I have no problem with having a nice meal with my family. It's just that it would obviously be nice to have him there.

 

[luvwinnie]

After 3 years together, I would think your family would automatically include him. If not, then definitely ask!

 

[Stephanie218]

I don't think its a big deal at all...my bf and i have been together for 3.5 years, and he's been at dinners and family events since the first few months, really.

 

[mom2boys]

Is there a reason your family hasn't included him? Do they get along with him?

 

[ducklite]

After 3 years together, I would think your family would automatically include him. If not, then definitely ask!

Agreed! I'm surprised they didn't already ask you to invite him along.

Anne

 

[Daxx]

No flames here! I understand where you're coming from.

Since they didn't outright invite your BF to join in, it sounds like they might want a family thing. If anything, I'd say to Mum "Is this family only or can X join in? Whatever you want is fine w/me". That way, it makes you look good by not forcing your BF on your family and it won't make Mum feel like the Bad Guy to say "no, just family".

Happy Bday and good luck!

 

[florida-again]

Is there a reason your family hasn't included him? Do they get along with him?

If I'm honest, although my mum likes my boyfriend, she got married at a very young age and then divorced. For that reason she is always a bit 'unenthusiastic' when it comes to the fact that I have a long-term boyfriend. My step-dad too.

 

[jbdreamer]

Three years is pretty serious. I am surprised he is not already considered part of the family. My family always welcomes BFs & GFs to holiday gatherings and give small gifts at Christmas to make them feel included. He should definitely be there for your B-day!

 

[florida-again]

Three years is pretty serious. I am surprised he is not already considered part of the family. My family always welcomes BFs & GFs to holiday gatherings and give small gifts at Christmas to make them feel included. He should definitely be there for your B-day!

I wish I was part of your family! No, it's not really that bad. Unfortunately its just that my mum and step-dad are both 'young-love sceptics' so sometimes need a bit of REMINDING that just because they wish I didn't have a BF, doesn't mean I don't have one!

 

[Kimberly]

I would definitely ask, and I'm actually surprised they didn't invite him already anyways. Does he know your parents well? My parents never got to meet my boyfriend until college graduation day a few months ago. So far they like him...

If all else fails, it doesn't hurt just to ask.

 

[florida-again]

I would definitely ask, and I'm actually surprised they didn't invite him already anyways. Does he know your parents well? My parents never got to meet my boyfriend until college graduation day a few months ago. So far they like him...

If all else fails, it doesn't hurt just to ask.

Yep! They know him inside out! They see him almost as often as I do, I think it might be a case of the old 'young love sceptics' striking yet again.

 

[Keli]

Yep! They know him inside out! They see him almost as often as I do, I think it might be a case of the old 'young love sceptics' striking yet again.

If they know him that well and see him that often then likely they would rather he not be a part of the family celebration or they'd have already invited him. But I still see nothing wrong it pushing them a bit by asking if he may join you. The worst they can say is no.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I only thought it weird it was even a question in the first place.

If it were me, I would be insisting on him coming along. After 3 years....sorry, this isn't a casual thing.

 

[bellacam]

After 3 years together, I would think your family would automatically include him. If not, then definitely ask!

My thoughts exactly!

 

[disykat]

Since it's your birthday, I'd say ask. I would have a different opinion if it was someone else in your family's birthday though.

 

[Beth76]

I would think that he should be included automatically. But, if not, it's your birthday and you should invite whomever you want.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

my ex boyfriend came to a bunch of family events, starting a few months after we started dating..it was more of an unsaid thing, he was just invited

 

[florida-again]

Well I might have spoken to soon, I was just on the phone to BF and he said....'I gotta go....your mum is calling me on my mobile (cell) phone!'

So maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to think she wouldn't invite him...

or maybe she isn't inviting him...lord knows why else she'd call him though!