Is it the MOM in me or am I right? Long Rant!

[my3kids]

I can't believe a children's librarian acted like that. Oh my goodness. That is going to put librarians right up there with other scary professions. She should have never been mean to a tot!

 

[sha_lyn]

The library is not a daycare center. I'm sure it would be illegal for them to be supervising a 2 yr old. Were the parents attending the event, or were they suppose to wait in another area?
Does the library not offer activities for the younger kids. If so and your DS attends do you insist your older kids attend these as well.

I really think you are blowing this way out of proportion. Other parents breaking the rule does not give you a reason to call the librarian names. you should be upset at the rule breakers not at the Librarian who was doing her job.

Last summer there was a mom that kept trying to sneak her 3 yr old into the 1-2grade story time at the library. Her reason, she wanted both kids to go to the same one and didn't want to come to the family story time. Every time the librarian made a point of asking every kid what grade they would be starting in the fall. One (who would ask their age instead of grade) actually didn't want DD attending because she wasn't 6 yet, even though she would turn 6 before the school cutoff. I had to point out that they didn't have a min age listed for the story time.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I don't like freakin librarians, especially while they are working, I'd be pissed off too.

 

[TheButlerDiditt]

Nasty librarians ruin the whole library experience. You should complain to the library board - or better yet, attend your next library board meeting and speak up in person.

-Michael (a former library assistant)

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy
I don't like freakin librarians, especially while they are working, I'd be pissed off too.

Sorry to have offended you, Mr. Murphy with my horrible language. No need for the sarcasam

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Originally posted by MOMTOMOOTOO
Yes there are age limits but the other little boy doesn't meet the age requirement ether And my friend just called to add fuel to the fire, another woman came in with her 2 kids who I also know (the little boy is 6 weks older than my son) and she let them in! I'm still so pissed.

Maybe she let the other kids in because she was afraid of another parent throwing a hissy fit and she just wanted to keep the peace.

I agree with those who said you shouldn't have asked. Those types of events could get bombarded with younger siblings if everybody felt the need to ignore the rules, and that isn't fair to the older kids who want to engage in thier activity without the "little kids" bugging them.

I had this problem every year when I would try to give my daughter a birthday party. She'd invite her friends...usually 10-12 kids. By the time all the younger siblings would show up the number was typically in the low 20s! I would get frantic trying to figure out how to feed the extra 10 faces I hadn't figured in...not to mention trying to figure out how to babysit kids that weren't on the invite list. And those ten uninvited kids were ALWAYS the ones who would cry and throw fits because there weren't enough goody bags to go around...what usually happened is the invited kids gave up their stuff so the little ones would stop screaming.

I got so fed up with parents who did this to me that this year I started a new tradition. My daughter now picks two friends and I take them to the water slide park instead of having a birthday party. It's just to much hassle to babysit a bunch of small children when you're trying to throw a party for a teenager!

I definately think you are in the wrong on this. I can kind of understand why you were initially frustrated. If I were the libarian, I probably would have given you your way, but then I'm the one who never had the courage to stand up to the parents of all the extra kids at my daughters parties. Your greatest wrong was refusing to accept the librarians decision and pulling your kids out of the activities based on such a trivial thing. It sends a bad message to your kids and suggests that rules don't apply to them. Moreover, it wasn't fair to your older kids to not be able to engage in their craft time because their little brother was denied some ice cream. That kind of thing could plant the seeds of sibling rivalry.

 

[honeywolf7]

I think Dan was just trying to lighten the mood

 

[yourtravelpro]

Originally posted by septbride2002
Yeah at 3 years old I'm sure he really understood the lesson - please!

So what you are saying that you should give kids their way at least up to age 3 because they can't understand the lesson?

Please! Maybe kids don't understand the word NO because their parent's dont!

 

[piglet too]

I agree that she should have been nicer about it, but like the OP said, reading is much too important to let this really impact their library time.

I am reminded of a friend of mine who was kicked out of her library while her older kids were attending a reading time. She had her than 10 month old in his stroller and was told to leave because he had no shoes or socks on. Now that is a veru rude librarian!

 

[syncer55]

Its best not to give a child everything and teach them that many things have to be earned.

It will probably make them more humble and appreciate things more as they grow older.

 

[goofyshell]

I see everyone's point about there being age limits for certain things, but it seems to me that there is nothing wrong with the op asking for her son to be included. Yes, there are too many parents who can't say no, but politely asking the librarian about her son is not an "entitlement" issue. I think letting it go is the best thing for you and your kids (who needs the extra stress!) but I would be tempted to report the librarian's rudeness just too spare another child in the future, she sounds like she needs to work on her people skills!


Piglet too- kicked out because the baby had no shoes and socks!! That is truly unbelievable!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Originally posted by goofyshell
I see everyone's point about there being age limits for certain things, but it seems to me that there is nothing wrong with the op asking for her son to be included. Yes, there are too many parents who can't say no, but politely asking the librarian about her son is not an "entitlement" issue. I think letting it go is the best thing for you and your kids (who needs the extra stress!) but I would be tempted to report the librarian's rudeness just too spare another child in the future, she sounds like she needs to work on her people skills!


Piglet too- kicked out because the baby had no shoes and socks!! That is truly unbelievable!

I totally agree that it was ok to ask. In many situations the answer may have been "yes." But for all we know, the librarian was told to not allow young siblings in for the event and she was just following orders. I'm thinking that after the issue with the OP, they started saying yes to avoid further conflict.

Like I said, I don't think the OP was necessarily wrong for asking, but I think she was very wrong for not graciously accepting that the answer was no and yanking her two older kids out of the activity. I think it's important to teach children to respect people's rules and bounderies.

There's been many cases in which I've disagreed with somebody's rules. For example, my daughter has a playmate who comes to play on our trampoline all the time, but this playmate's mother won't let other kids play on THEIR trampoline because she's afraid of being sued. For that matter, she won't allow kids to play on her property at all. My daughter knows that I disagree with this woman's stance on the subject, but I also taught my daughter that we MUST respect the bounderies set forth by other people, even if we don't agree with them. I would never show disrespect to another person because of their personal or professional rules as long as the rules don't harm or seriously offend me.

Had I been the OP and assuming I was deeply offended, I would have allowed my kids to finish their social, then I would have left and not returned. But the histrionic display of frustration over ice cream, in my opinion, taught the kids that if you don't agree with somebody's rules, you have a right to show disrespect.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Originally posted by piglet too

I am reminded of a friend of mine who was kicked out of her library while her older kids were attending a reading time. She had her than 10 month old in his stroller and was told to leave because he had no shoes or socks on. Now that is a veru rude librarian!

Perhaps the library has a no shoes no service policy and the librarian was told to enforce the rule, even with small children. Places are really worried about liability these days. The child could have gotten out of his stroller and stepped on something sharp and the library could be held accountable. While I'm sure that event was very frustrating for your friend, I'm sure that if that if she thought it out, she wouldn't have wanted the librarian to get written up for making an exception for her child.

 

[aprilgail2]

The librarian should have been nicer about it but she still should not have let any child in that was not part of the program. Kids have to learn that there are some things that sibilings are going to be able to do that they cant..its ng to happen all their lives and even at 3 it stinks to have it happen to them but that is life. I know at my duahgter library functions there is alway some mom trying to get their to young child into the program and they won't do it. My daughters friends are all moving up to the next program there and even though my daughter is in the same grade as them she is only turning 5 in Nov and they will both be 6 in Dec so they move up and she doesn't, she is upset but rules are rules...

 

[Bumbles]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy
I don't like freakin librarians, especially while they are working, I'd be pissed off too.

Well, that's good....if you decided to freak them while they were working, I'm guessing that could get both of you arrested or at least warrant a public indecency charge

 

[JayBee]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy
I don't like freakin librarians, especially while they are working, I'd be pissed off too.

 

[HisEllyNelly]

I would just let it go. She should have been much nicer about it and said it was against the rules and stuck by that.
Its unfortunate that it happened, but try not to let it ruin the library for you and the children.

Quote:
"I think you had every right to do what you did. What was the big deal about him having some ice cream? Come on. I would complain to the Library."



It may not seem like its a big deal, but rules are rules.
Just because it seems silly and you think what would it hurt....rules are there for a reason.
I beleive children need to learn at a young age that they cant have everything they want and that rules are made to be followed not broken...no matter how ridiculous the rule may seem to us.

 

[auntpolly]

This kind of stuff is going to happen -- only thousands of more times to you and your kids. You should use this as a little learning experience for them.

I can remember when we thought (DD and I) that someone in a position of "Power" over us (Librarian, store clerk, teacher, whoever) had been snooty or not very nice, I always thought it was a good time to show her how to "roll with the punches", laugh it off and make her see that things just aren't a big deal. I can just see us outside the library saying things like, "Ooops! Did you see her face? She wasn't very happy with us!!!" and "That ice cream must be worth a million dollars she's guarding it so close!" and we'd laugh our heads off. The sooner kids can learn to laugh at unpleasant situations, the better -- IMO!

 

[bubie2.5]

Let it go, the librarian was just doing her job.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

No. You were right. That librarian should not have let the other boy in if he was under the age limit too. The rules have to apply to all; not sum. And really how much ice cream can one little boy eat that it would have hurt to let your son in to have a bit.

But at the same time, I think this is a small issue and not worth getting worked up about. I'd roll my eyes at Ms. Meanie Library lady and just let it go.