Is it tacky to give a gift from a second hand store?

[DisneyBlonde]

I wouldn't want a pre-owned gift and I personally would never give one...but I guess it depends on the person.

 

[AuroraBeauty]

For a young new mother, the option of having a generous supply of gently used clothing vs. having to wash constantly b/c you can't afford to buy more things means that giving a gift of gently used items would be appreciated.

As a new mom, I only wanted new too. It's kind of that 'new baby' smell. However, as others have said, I got so much that wasn't worn but a few times. I readily passed them on to others if they were interested.

As for car seats, from the NHT&SA:

The National Highway Traffic & Safety Association (NHTSA) states that you should never buy a used car seat unless you are 100% positive that it has never been involved in an accident. And unless you are buying it from a very close friend or relative, you may have trouble verifying this. Even a carseat that hasn’t been in an accident, though, may no longer be safe. Over time, heat, cold, humidity and sunlight can cause significant damage. This may include corroded plastic, wear or stiffness in the straps. Adjustments can cause uneven wear in the straps and harnesses, as well as damage to the padding and covers.

It’s easy to see the appeal – used car seats often sell for far less than retail price at garage sales and consignment stores. However, before you snap up this “bargain” seat, take the following steps:

• Write down the car seat manufacturer, model number and serial number.

• Call the NHTSA Hotline (see below) and confirm that this particular model and serial number has not been recalled.

•Inspect the car seat carefully. Look at the condition of the straps, the joints, and the physical structure for any sign of wear or stress. Don’t forget to look under the cover, especially in the strap path, for signs of wear. Remember, though, that you may not be able to see even potentially major damage with your naked eye!

• Confirm that all of the parts are there, including restraining clips and owner’s manual. These will provide you with key information on safe installation and use of the carseat.

• Ask the seller to verify for you – in writing – that this carseat has never been involved in an accident. If they aren’t willing to do this, walk away.

Some honest resellers will have verified the condition and recall status of the car seat. Nonetheless, unless it was actually their own personal carseat, they will be hard-pressed to guarantee you that this carseat was never in an accident. And do you really want to take that risk, just to save a few dollars?

Think twice before you buy a used carseat. The life you risk may be your child’s, and the damage that causes a carseat to fail may not even be visible to the naked eye. Remember that those extra few minutes you spend checking out the safety of a used carseat may make the difference between life and death for your child. A carseat is meant to protect your little one in case of an accident. You can help make sure that your carseat is fit to do its job, just by taking a few extra minutes to check it out. In the long run, you're far better off to be safe than sorry.

For more information on Used Carseats, and Car Seat Safety you can contact the National Highway Traffic & Safety Association, at (888) DASH-2-DOT ​

I am not here to judge, only to offer information. OP, you are to be commended for offering your help and support to the DD of your friend. Many people walk away in challenging times, because it's easier. You chose to made a difference, and you will be rewarded.

Best wishes to you and the new parents!

 

[wdwfan16]

I would never give a person a second hand store purchased gift unless it was an item that was no longer made and they wanted that item (like a replacement piece to a family heirloom china set).

I would never buy a used carseat due to the safety reasons listed above. I don't care how much they wanted this item I would never give it to them. If that kid was ever hurt by a faulty used carseat, I would never forgive myself.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

IMHO it is fine to give used things--however, I would try to include something NEW.

As for the stroller, it probably would make a fine second stroller--and likely the person may have registered for one so I don't know how you would pull it off of the registry.

I would never buy a used car seat as you do not know the history. I do not have an issue with using my own second hand seats and sharing among people whom you know very well and can trust the seat has never been in an accident.

Used is fine, but I would not make it the only gift you give just b/c it can be misconstrued. I.e. We share stuff among family so we get and give lots of used stuff. However it isn't the ONLY thing that we do. B/c to do so would be cheap.

Perhaps include some bath toiletries like baby shampoo or something so that your pocketbook isn't pinched.

When I give used--I don't wrap and just give it in addition to whatever new item I found.

 

[dizkids]

I wouldnt give a used carseat.

$80 is very generous. I would buy something new that she can use. If she is registered get something off the registry and if not give her a gift reciept for what you bought or a gift card for her to choose.

You can help her by letting her know where she get the good bargains like the thrift shop so she doesnt feel so overhwelmed having to buy a lot of new items. Then she can choose herself if she ever decides to go.

Someone gave me a thrift shop exersaucer way back in 1997 when they were first coming out and i still remember who gave it to me...and i did think it was tacky back then...my first baby too.

 

[4HppyCamprs]

double

 

[4HppyCamprs]

okay so since this changes a bit because she is a young mother without much maybe you could do a gift basket with some things she is unlikely to get but really need (car seats are provided free here too if you dont have one) like mylicon, infant tylenol, good babywash (like one for sensitive skin such as Aveeno if a baby has eczema some of the cheap soaps just aggravate it) the not fun stuff. Friends like to buy clothes (i do) but the basics like those listed can be very expensive and she may not have the money handy when she needs it. Oh diaper rash cream is another one. Larger size diapers (people tend to buy small sizes and then when the baby gets to be 6 months there are no more gift diapers

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I wouldn't give a used car seat no matter what your friend said. You have no idea of its history, and if it's been in an accident, it is just not safe.

I agree!!

I was/am the queen of yard sales/second hand stores for my DS's clothing, toys, gear. But I would NEVER buy a used car seat. No way of knowing where that car seat had been and if it was ever in an accident.

The second hand stores/consignment sales around here won't even take them to sell.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

I took your advice and I just got off the phone with her. She was thrilled about the idea. The baby's father was over there, Mom-to-be was at work. She asked his opinion and he was very excited about it. They are both young and still in college. We decided to leave it as a surprise for Mom-to-be. I guess maybe their perspective is a matter of need on this one. The young parents appreciate the help and support they are getting. I am going to go back and buy it for them.

I am so glad this is working out! Great choice for a gift!

 

[erincon23]

I agree with PPs about a used car seat -- you can't tell by looking at it if it's been in an accident. And I used to be kind of funny about 2nd hand stuff -- until I joined a mom's group (national -- Mothers & More, it's terrific) and the chapter I joined had a HUGE resale twice a year. I quickly got on the staff for this and found it to be a great way to save LOTS of money on clothes and toys, and to sell my own stuff. I trusted that more for things that might possibly be dangerous, could have been a wrong assumption, but that's how I felt. When one sister-in-law had a new baby (not her first, interesting circumstances, very little cash on their part), I bought them $25 worth of clothes at the resale -- all beautiful, almost never worn -- and gave her that as an "extra" gift after giving them something new for her shower gift.

Another sister-in-law is now pregnant with her first. She and my brother are struggling financially, and while I'll send her something new and nice, I'll also buy her $25 worth of stuff at the first resale after the baby's born (held twice a year, spring and fall) and send that to her as an "extra." I'd rather do the used stuff as an "extra" if I can afford it more than she can (and ha ha, wonder which of really can afford it more, since my oldest is very expensive and about to start college, but I'm done having kids and she's just getting started).

You're very sweet to this young girl! I'm sure they need all the help they can get, but safety has to come first...
Erin

 

[tinkermom23]

Just a thought about the car seat...
Tell your friend to check with her insurance company. My sister was on a state health plan, not medicare, and they gave her a certificate that covered up to $50 on a new carseat. She just had to fillout a form with the ins. company. Worth a try! My sister got to pick out her carseat and she got one that worked with a stroller she already had.

By the way, I got gently used clothing for my first child and it was given to me by a coworker whom I knew could not afford anything! She gave me tons of clothes that I appreciated because I knew it was what she could do. It meant more to me than some other gifts I received that were new but we would never use.

You know the mom and your friend, you will know if they think it's tacky or if they appreciate the thought. Good luck!!

 

[KirstenB]

When I was expecting our first dd, I actually shopped consignment sales etc, for Gymbo, and Gap clothes etc. So secondhand brands like that, I would have loved. But for the shower, I always give a new Gymbo blanket and outfit. Then later, if I get a good vibe that the new mom would be open to hand me downs, I give those.

Your situation is different, and I understand where you're coming from. I'd still do something new for the shower, even if it's something small, then privately give the gently used stuff. FWIW, I would have been so happy with a nice, used stroller/carseat combo. But as other mothers have noted it would be good to know the history of it. Most carseats have probably never been in an accident, but I'd have to hear it firsthand.

 

[mjkacmom]

OP, your friend and the expectant father probably have no idea that it's not wise to buy a used carseat - I know my mom and my DH would have no clue!

 

[Boston Tea Party]

I wouldn't give a used car seat no matter what your friend said. You have no idea of its history, and if it's been in an accident, it is just not safe.

Not to mention that at times there are recalls on these items. Honestly, it's not a good idea.

 

[scottishduffy]

I would do this, and I have done this. Though both times the parents-to-be knew I was looking at second hand items.

When my friend J had his daughter he had just divorced and was also going through a bankruptcy. It was a very messy situation all around and he had no cash. He made sure to pay his child support in full each month but could not afford anything else. My Hubby and I went to consignment shops to buy him a massive amount of good clothes up to the 12 month size. She is just now growing out of it.

While J is doing better now, we have just done the consignment run again and got her about 20 outfits in the 18 months and 2T sizes (plus pajamas and bathing suits). He knew we were doing it and is looking forward to it. Most of the clothes look brand new! Though Of course I throw in about 4 totally new outfits for her as well. Where else can I get that much clothes for ~$50?

He got her pack-n-play gently used, her stroller second hand, and pretty much most anything she used during that first year second hand. As long as the parents know you are shopping second hand, go for it. When I have a children I plan to get most things second hand as there are some very nice consignment shops near me.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I would give them the stroller/car seat at a time other than the shower.

For the shower, you can go to Kohls or WalMart/Target and buy 2 or 3 new outfits at very reasonable prices.

 

[shortbun]

It is for my close friend's daughter. She has been shopping at garage sales this summer so I did not think she would be too offended. She is very young and unmarried, so I do know she needs all the help she can get. That was why I was trying to stretch my money for her. I can't afford to but the stroller new for her. Her Mom got her a crib and changing table.

It's ok for her to buy 2nd hand but a shower gift should be new. Hand me downs and stuff from a thrift store are not gifts, they are added bonus but should not be presented as a gift. If you want your money stretched, give cash and allow the mother to shop 2nd hand as her choice. Shower gifts should be new unless otherwise specified.

 

[Sammy]

I agree with the others that shower gifts should be new, but certainly the stroller could be given at another time. I would be very careful with the carseat though....not knowing if it were ever in an accident or damaged somehow. I know the hospital by me does carseat safety and installation checks. Maybe you could see if anyone near you does the same and have it checked out?

 

[sbell111]

I agree with the others that shower gifts should be new, but certainly the stroller could be given at another time. I would be very careful with the carseat though....not knowing if it were ever in an accident or damaged somehow. I know the hospital by me does carseat safety and installation checks. Maybe you could see if anyone near you does the same and have it checked out?

Ummm, I think the baby shower has come and gone.