Is it so terrible to quit to my new job?

[mhsjax]

I was going to post yesterday, but I was fuming, and realized I would probably get in some trouble if I posted what I was really thinking.

So, here it goes, the watered down, hopefully not offensive version:

Seriously, you're complaining about working part time? you don't need the money? Your time is worth more than $9/hr? Really?

Do you know how many mothers work full time and manage to raise wondeful children, keep thier house in a state of something resembling order and do it for less than they feel thier time is worth? How many people would do anything for a job, even one that pays $9?

I know you don't mean to be condecending. I believe that. But I do think its a litte insensitive in this economy to say that your time isn't worth your paycheck. Its also a little insensitive to those of us who work to whine about how hard it is to juggle working during school days. I'd KILL to be able to work part time.

Here's what I think- if you do really need/want the money- then put on your big girl pants and learn to juggle the way the rest of us have. If you don't need the money, quit so someone who wants to work can have the job.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to attack you, I am just hoping to give you a little perspective.

If the OP doesn't need the money, then I agree her time is worth more than $9.00 an hour. I don't see anything wrong with that. If she did need to work then $9.00 would be great. I think maybe you have a chip on your shoulder because you have to work, Sorry but not everybody gets everything they want in life. I don't have to work at this point in my life either, but I have worked for $20.00 years. And $9.00 an hour wouldn't be worth it to me either, not with kids still in the house and all the running around I do. So maybe you should have a little perspective. JMHO.

 

[mikehn]

I would go ahead and quit if that's what you decide. They have no problems firing you when its convenient for them. You gotta take care of yourself, cause nobody else is going to.

 

[KirstenB]

I was going to post along the comments others had made about giving it a few weeks. However having now read your most reason post I believe you need to go to your superintended and informed that that while you appreciate the chance to work with this special needs child. This is not a job you were informed about nor do you feel you have the correct training to meet this child's needs. An Learning Center or Special Needs Aid is NOT the same as a basic TA and if you don't have the training or the desire to work with this child you do indeed need to resign ASAP. I say this because a basic TA and a Special Needs TA aren't even close to the same job and to expect someone who wasn't trained for this position, choose this position and already understands that it isn't working out needs to resign. Special needs children DO get upset over teachers leaving HOWEVER this is only the first week of school and it far better to resign now then to have that child depend on you and have you leave in a month or two which could then cause the child to feel abandoned right now with the stress of the new school years and changes it won't cause nearly as big of a problem. As both a formal Special Needs Child and Special Needs TA please understand you are doing neither the child nor the school any favors by staying with a job you do not want. And as it is only one child you won't be leaving the school in a jam like you would if it were a class of 5-6 kids.

You said this so well, I completely agree. Our dd has a mild form of autism, so I completely understand what a handful our kids can be. I think for both your sake and the child's well-being you do need to quit asap, OP.

 

[wvjules]

Well you have given it a whole two days. I say quit now. You don't like it now you won't like it in a month. Besides, laundry is way more important than being a teacher's aide. If you dislike it that much then quit and let someone that would truely appreciate the job have it. Maybe their time is worth a measly $9/hr.

 

[purplebelle]

I agree -- more time is needed to decide. 2 weeks is such a short period of time.

I think no matter where someone is starting anew, it's overwhelming and tough. It's 'work' after all, but I'm sure you will master it if you have been a Teach before. Then you'll look back and be very proud of yourself.

Try to make it 'til Xmas break and see how you feel then. It may be easier for the school to find someone over a break.

Don't let being underpaid and overworked get you down. Story of many people's lives. Your pay says nothing about your worth.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Something I haven't not seen mentioned yet which I feel is very important is what kind of example does quitting after only 2 days provide for your 9 and 11 year old children??? I don't know how you feel about teaching your children commitment and responsibility so maye this does not apply to you. Personally, I tell my kids if they join a team, class, etc. they are committing for the season (or year in dance) or if it is an on going thing (karate for example) at least one semester. If possible they try out a class first--but it is not laways possible and sometimes it turns out they are in an activity taht is really not their favourite.. If there were extenuating circumstances (true bullying by teammates, an "unstable" teacher, etc.) I would of course pull them earlier--but generally I want them to learn that when you take something on you owe it to yourself and to others to see it through. I would stick with the job through the winter holiday break for that reason alone, in addition to the other valid points others have brought up.

 

[jrmasm]

NHdisneylover:

So I took this TA job two weeks ago and school started yesterday.

It's only been two days.

BTW, I completely agree with you. It is a terrible example to set for children.

 

[NHdisneylover]

NHdisneylover:




It's only been two days.

BTW, I completely agree with you. It is a terrible example to set for children.

Thanks--I missed that--I'll edit my post.

 

[terri01p]

Big deal, if you want to quit than quit, they will survive, it's only a week into this year, also it opens a door for someone really needing a job.

 

[KirstenB]

Something I haven't not seen mentioned yet which I feel is very important is what kind of example does quitting after only 2 days provide for your 9 and 11 year old children??? I don't know how you feel about teaching your children commitment and responsibility so maye this does not apply to you. Personally, I tell my kids if they join a team, class, etc. they are committing for the season (or year in dance) or if it is an on going thing (karate for example) at least one semester. If possible they try out a class first--but it is not laways possible and sometimes it turns out they are in an activity taht is really not their favourite.. If there were extenuating circumstances (true bullying by teammates, an "unstable" teacher, etc.) I would of course pull them earlier--but generally I want them to learn that when you take something on you owe it to yourself and to others to see it through. I would stick with the job through the winter holiday break for that reason alone, in addition to the other valid points others have brought up.

I understand what you're saying, but this isn't a regular job. There's a child with autism who may well have a VERY hard time with change. Better for that child to quit now, than for the OP to stick it out half-heartedly, only to quit several months later. Being an aide or parapro for kids with autism takes a lot. It's a unique job. Many people are not cut out for it, and there's no shame in realizing that. But that child deserves an aide who knows what the job is, and wants the job.

 

[janey99]

Ugh - I hate it when work turns out to be, like, well, you know, WORK.



Jane

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Ugh - I hate it when work turns out to be, like, well, you know, WORK.



Jane

Yep, that's why they call it work, not fun.

I hear that from my Dh every time I boo hoo about my job. The man has no sympathy.

In all seriousness, I think the bigger issue here is the care of the autistic kid (who I am still really sad ranked behind laundry) and what's going to happen to him. Bummer for him to be caught in the middle of this.

 

[jd_mouse]

OP ~
I could've written your same post some 6 years ago. After being a SAHM for well over a decade, and wanting to do "something" since all my children were finally in school full time, I took a job as part-time one-on-one/ part-time Learning Support Aide in a local high school. I was SO overwhelmed and depressed the first week, it was UNREAL. I HATED it. H-A-T-E-D....BIG TIME. I had no training, the teachers in Special Ed were too busy to give me any guidance, and the lifeskills kids...(WARNING!!! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH)...ate their boogies on a regular basis. I was unprepared to say the least, and felt like I was trapped in some bad dream.

Fast foward...
I stuck it out.
I knew if I quit I would NEVER again get a job in that District...ever.
It helped when I actually SAW my first paycheck, and NO, I did not get paid much, but it was something.
I grew to love the kids...some of the most meaningful and funny times in my life happened during my time at this school. If I had quit during those first 2 weeks, I would have never known how great a job like that can be.
Was it hard? YEAH. Was I tired. YEAH. Were my laundry piles bigger than usual? YEAH. But I would not have traded it for anything, and I really mean that. I have a college degree, and some 20 years ago made 5X what I make now. But I have 20X less stress, have off breaks/holidays when my kids are off, and my summers are MY OWN!!!

My advice: try to stick it out for at least a month. You may be surprised.
Good luck, whatever you decide!

 

[janey99]

Yep, that's why they call it work, not fun.

I hear that from my Dh every time I boo hoo about my job. The man has no sympathy.

In all seriousness, I think the bigger issue here is the care of the autistic kid (who I am still really sad ranked behind laundry) and what's going to happen to him. Bummer for him to be caught in the middle of this.

Agree completely - people who want to dabble in anything should get their feet wet somewhere where there is unlikely to be collateral damage when they change their minds!



BTW - also loved your advice on the crazy mom-haircut thread. My MIL, for various reasons, seldom sees my children and is never able to see them unsupervised. I recognize that you know of what you speak.

Jane

 

[NHdisneylover]

I understand what you're saying, but this isn't a regular job. There's a child with autism who may well have a VERY hard time with change. Better for that child to quit now, than for the OP to stick it out half-heartedly, only to quit several months later. Being an aide or parapro for kids with autism takes a lot. It's a unique job. Many people are not cut out for it, and there's no shame in realizing that. But that child deserves an aide who knows what the job is, and wants the job.

Sadly I think the child will be hurt no matter what in this case. OP was not concerned enough with this aspect to even bring it up in the first post. Either the child has a worker who is not properly trained and does not really want to be there (though perhaps once she gets in a groove and the initital shock and exhaustion wear off she will be a great TA) OR OP quits now and (if OP is to be believed about the district not being able to fill this job becuase it is out in the boonies) the child has no consistency at the begining of the year (while also adjusting to a new teacher and classroom) and likely has a string of also untrained substitutes while the district scrambles to find a replacement (who may be equally unprepared for the job as the district has shown it is not requiring proper training nor providing it).

 

[Skatermom23]

Op, I completely get where you are coming from. I have taken two part time jobs in the 18 years since DS was born. The first was when he was 9 and it was a job similar to yours. I lasted one month. I felt extremely guilty about leaving the child I was assigned to, but I just couldn't handle the stress of the job, the low pay, and the fact that my own family seemed to be suffering from it. We didn't *need* the paycheck and we felt that my staying home was the best thing. I don't regret the decision at all.

A few years later, I decided to return to work in the industry that I had been trained in...finance. I found that it was hard to be a part time worker for people who were so much younger than I and had less experience, overall, than I had. I didn't think I would be happy in this situation for long. I went to Human Resources and asked them for help. They wound up keeping me in a part time capacity with basically no boss. I only had to submit reports weekly. I know most companies would not even consider something like this, but they didn't want to lose me either. They also knew that I didn't need the job and would leave. Of course the market was different then. I stayed there for about 3 years and left. I have not returned to the job market and probably will not.

All this to say...do not suffer in silence. It is one thing if you need a paycheck, but if you do not then there is no shame in finding the perfect job for you and your family. Do not feel guilty about your situation.

 

[dogluva]

Yep, that's why they call it work, not fun.

I hear that from my Dh every time I boo hoo about my job. The man has no sympathy.

In all seriousness, I think the bigger issue here is the care of the autistic kid (who I am still really sad ranked behind laundry) and what's going to happen to him. Bummer for him to be caught in the middle of this.

It wasn't just laundry-it was dishes too, don't forget.

Seriously, what a great opportunity. I say, quit and give it to someone who actually wants to make a difference in this child's life. Where I live, any job in the school system is hard to get. I don't know anyone who would give up a job that is on the same schedule as their children over a few dishes left in the sink.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm a para educator and for the past four years I've worked with autistic kids. Yes, it is overwhelming and yes, we get paid far too little for what we do. I don't know what it's like in most schools, but where I am, if you're a one-on -one para, you're still expected to do the duties of a regular classroom para, such as make copies (though the principal forbids it), lead reading and math groups, grade papers, etc. It is not easy.

I really don't know what to tell you. For the sake of the child, it's probably better if you quit now, however, if you stick around, you may find that it gets easier. I mean, you almost certainly will find that it gets easier, but maybe it won't be enough?

Good luck, whatever you decide. I'd do my best to stick it out the whole year. In fact, my first year, I was with an 11 year old boy going through puberty and he constantly would try to grab my breasts and thighs. When he wasn't doing that, he either bolting out of the classroom and down the hall, or was shrilly screaming in my ear (with unknown provocation, so I never knew when it was coming). It was pretty much hell, but I stuck with it and I'm glad I did.

 

[Skatermom23]

Sadly I think the child will be hurt no matter what in this case. OP was not concerned enough with this aspect to even bring it up in the first post. Either the child has a worker who is not properly trained and does not really want to be there (though perhaps once she gets in a groove and the initital shock and exhaustion wear off she will be a great TA) OR OP quits now and (if OP is to be believed about the district not being able to fill this job becuase it is out in the boonies) the child has no consistency at the begining of the year (while also adjusting to a new teacher and classroom) and likely has a string of also untrained substitutes while the district scrambles to find a replacement (who may be equally unprepared for the job as the district has shown it is not requiring proper training nor providing it).

Having been in this exact situation, I think it is unfair to make the OP feel like she is ungrateful for a school district job or that she is being neglectful to this child for leaving. Administations tend to gloss over the requirements of these types of jobs leaving the newly appointed aid with an extreme feeling of frustation. They feel a responsiblity to the child but they also feel hurt for not having the positions spelled out to them. So who is to blame? I continued to have limited contact with the child I was assigned to...he was the younger sibling in my sons scout troup. Sure, he showed some adjustment issues for about two weeks after I left him, but then he linked up with someone else.

This economy has everyone making each other feel like they are horrible people if they leave a job, especially one that is caring for another. There is nothing wrong with OP putting her family first. It isn't that she is ungrateful, she is just in a different situation than others.

 

[mrs_hower726]

OP - No, it's not terrible if you want to quit. I think you really need to go to the principal and explain your situation and see what can be done about it if this is causing this much stress. If you are going to stick with it, I would talk to the Special Ed. teachers and see what resources they can give you. The internet is also a great tool to expand your knowledge.

I know you feel overwhelmed. I understand it's because you are in a situation that you have no experience or education. People don't understand how exhausting working with special needs students are. At the same time, working with them is for me extremely rewarding, every breakthrough is a major celebration.

It's not one of those jobs that you can leave with you at the end of the day. It's going to take extra work at home to learn more about the disability as well as learning different techniques to work with him. With an autistic child, they do best when they are sticking to a strict routine. The longer you wait to make a decision, the more difficult it is going to be for him to adjust to a new aide down the road.

Good luck with your decision. I read that you weren't going to make any decisions until at least the weekend and that's a good idea. Reflect on the experience, talk with your family and get feedback. If you do continue with the job, you need to outline your expectations with the family in regards to chores and routine. Remember that mom going back to work is new to them as well and they are learning a new routine.