Is it so terrible to quit to my new job?

[ksjayhawks]

Give yourself time to adjust. Set up a chore list for the kids--they are old enough to help. Run errands, go to grocery and other stores on your way to/from school.

Set your standards to what is reasonable for you and the others in your family--kids and dh--to get done. It will all work out.

 

[NC State]

I agree.

Quit now, and your chances of getting a job down the road go "poof."

Housework just isn't as important as your reputation.

I agree, ask your family to step up and help the the house. I wished I only had a 20 min drive, try 45 mins one way every day. I leave home at 6:00 am and I'm back after 5:00 pm.

 

[msteddom]

Hang in there! Going back is always hard. I know I'm dreading it!

Melissa

 

[Cindy B]

It's only two days. Please! I just went from all summmers off (former teacher) to a full time 5 days a week job just last month. I leave my house at 645 am and I'm not home until 5 pm.

I didn't really get a summer off because I eased right into this job after school ended.

So laundry isn't done, oh well.. Time to delegate. My kids now do their own laundry. (they are in 7th and 9th grade so they can) I do groceries when I can.

The house will not be perfect. But any other mom/full time working woman can say, it can be done. It has been done for many years, so your struggle is not new at all.

Give it time. Personally I'd rather be out in the workforce doing somethign with my degree/training instead of being home doing laundry.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

Yeah, I know that a short time isn't enouh to decide and I will eventually catch up on chores but I just can't get over the feeling of what did I get myself into? That unhappy-and-I'm-stuck-now feeling. I don't want to work a job that I'm unhappy in. Maybe this isn't the job for me after all

There have to be people out there who take a job and find out that wasn't what they were supposed to be doing. Right?

Your job is different because you have kids and the teacher depending on you.

You are important to the success of that class.

Try and stick with it at least until the Thanksgiving break-at least that would be a natural point to leave.

 

[FireDancer]

I think if you give yourself some more time you might be able to adjust. Going back to work is taking on a lot of new responsibilities while not getting rid of you old ones. It is not all that different from having a child. You have to readjust how you do things to get more done in the same amount of time.

I am single and work full time but also own a home and do fitness training about 15 hours a week so I understand how the chores can add up but once I rearranged how I did things I managed to get everything accomplished. If a room needs cleaned, the grass needs cut, something needs moved, or I want to eat, I have to do it or no one does. Sometimes things get backed up but I always catch up eventually and I think you will too.

I think maybe the shock is a bit overwhelming in the short term but I would at least give yourself some time. If you set a date down the road and can't readjust by then at least you gave it the effort.

 

[Caradana]

The first few weeks of any new job are really rough. You have no work friends yet, the patterns and rhythms of your day are all different, and you feel way outside of your comfort zone. This is GOOD. You are going to feel a real sense of achievement by the time the holidays come, if not before, and as attractive as the safety of home and laundry look right now, you won't feel proud of yourself if you quit. You'll sit at home and listlessly wash the dishes and feel like an underachieving quitter. You don't want to view yourself that way. I hope you give it a little more of a chance!

 

[jwsqrdplus2]

Fellow Tucsonan checking in here.

This may sound harsh, but I am going to go there:

I'm guessing that you are working in one of the districts that are already back in session. I have several friends who are teacher's aides in those districts who were let go at the end of last year due to budget constraints. Most of them found out less than 10 days before school started that they had been reinstated. If you are lucky enough to have snagged one of those teacher's aide jobs, be happy that you are employed in Tucson. The economy and housing market is so depressed here that anyone who gets a job is fortunate.

Having said that, I do understand how difficult it is to go back to work after staying home for a significant period of time. I work part time in Tucson at 2 different jobs. I work "full time" (5 days/week) 3 months a year (very long hours with little break) to be able to stay home the other 9 months. During the other 9 months I work 1-2 days a week (around my kids school/activities schedule as much as I can). Does my house and family time suffer a bit during those 3 months of "full time" work? Very much so! But our quality of life year round is far better.

Bottom line: being a SAHM is hard work. Being a mom who works outside the home is hard work. I am guessing since you sought work outside the home, your family could use the $$. If you quit your current job after 2 days, you are letting down: your family, your teacher and the students in your classroom. One of my kids had a teacher who quit 6 weeks into the school year because she couldn't handle it. We are still dealing with the emotional repercussions of that several years later! Young kids (especially kinders) attach to teachers/aides quickly and completely!

If I sound judgemental, I apologize. I have been in your shoes. What works for my family will not necessarily work for other families. But in today's economy, we all do what we can to survive.

 

[kkmcan]

There are some other factors in this situation. I was told this position was to help a student who had fine motor issues. That's all fine. I didn't find out until yesterday that he is autistic and has major social issues. Those are the more pertinent things they want me working on with him. I have no training in working with autistic children at all. At the same time there is no other kinder aide in this classroom because they couldn't find anyone to hire. This school is kind of in the boonies and its hard to find someone to drive out there for 4 hours a day.

My family doesn't need the money. It's not about the money (well, actually it kind of is). I am busting my rump, driving to the boonies, and using up a huge part of my day for $9 an hour. It's so not worth it. Originally I thought it would be nice to get out of the house and make a little disney money. Now, I see the worth of me being at home. My time is worth more than I'm making.

I don't mean to sound condescending at all. This is so much work and time for very little. I wish I had realized that before I took this job.

I work 9-1. I leave at 8:30. Get home at 1:25 or 1:30. Get myself some lunch, pay some bills, sit down for a bit to rest. And dd walks in the door before 3:00 and ds at 3:30. Day over. Rest of day is spent focusing on homework, then dinner, then showers and making sure kids read and get ready for tomorrow. Where did my day go? Edit: I get up at 5:30 as well. Dd's bus comes at 6:30 and ds's bus comes at 8:30. Put him on the bus and off I go.

Thanks for all the advice. I've decided to wait out the week and see how I feel. And then maybe another week. Edit: I know the teacher is relying on me as well as the student. Thats the hardest part for me with quitting. But I think there should be someone there who wants to be there.

My whole world got turned upside down from this little part time job.

BTW, my dh is a firefighter and is gone a lot during the week. I've often felt like a single mom. He also has a side job with the union. So he's super busy. He's not home in the evenings to help with chores.

DD just started middle school and is figuring out how things work there. It's all been too much for us, I think.

 

[RadioFanatic]

I'm sorry, but your schedule sounds great to me! I get up at 5:30 am to get myself ready, get DS up at 6 to get him ready, leave for work at 6:30 am, drop DS off at daycare at 7, at work at 7:05 am, at work until 3:35 pm (or sometimes later depending on assignment), pick up DS at 3:40 pm, get home by 4:15 pm, cook and spend time with DS until his bedtime at 8 pm. Then finish housework and whatever work from office I didn't get done.

I know it's a change. It was a HUGE change for me when I brought DS into daycare for the first time. It ALWAYS seems overwhelming in the beginning. But it does get better as you get more used to things. And don't be afraid to ask for help at school on things you are unsure of.

 

[bubie2.5]

It's normal to feel that way when starting a new job. Give it a month, a lot of things can change once you settle into your new routine.

 

[KristinBelle]

Given what you wrote in your latest post I'd quit. I think a few days is plenty of time to tell if you like it, in regards to a "just for fun" part time job. Now if you were working full time and needed the money I'd have a completely different answer.

 

[EthansMom]

I think I'd give it another few weeks, at least.

One thing that might help would be to find some alternate ways to deal with your housework/chores such as putting a load of laundry in before you go to work and then drying it when you get home; setting aside a specific time for housework; and asking other family members to take on more housework (such as asking DH to stop for groceries).

If it isn't working for you in a few weeks, then give them 2 week's notice.

 

[Gabes_mommy]

OP - I was a one on one aid for a student with special needs myself about 8 years ago. It is so challenging! It isn't for everyone.

My suggestion is go talk to the principal or the Special Edication Director in your school and explain that you don't think the job is for you. There may be another position you could do instead. I'm sure if you give a notice they will understand - that gives them time to find someone else. I would just agree to stay in the position until they found someone else. A previous poster did say that several aides lost their jobs there recently so it sounds like there will be many people available to fill the position if you vacate it.

 

[ols386]

I think any new job is overwhelming at first, but I think you have to give it more than a couple of days to adjust. Any new job that I've ever had took a minimum of 3 months to adjust.

But if you have already decided that you are not going to continue with the job, I would just tell the superintendent, or whoever you will be talking with, that it just isn't working out and that you cannot stay. But I do think you should give them a couple weeks notice.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

If it's about the situation itself, you may have a "valid" reason to walk away. I say valid, meaning it's understandable if you think you're not qualified to handle the situation. If you resent the child for needing you, that child is going to feel it.

But if it's more about the schedule, I totally agree that it's way too soon to give up. I work full time and go to school full time. Just started back in school this spring, and not one thing got done in my house for the first month straight! I'm finally getting to the point where I can get just a little bit done each day, and DH has really stepped up to help (by the way, DH works a full time job - 37.5 hrs/week, a part time job - 25 hrs/wk, AND is in school. Now that's rough! )

 

[DisneyBlonde]

I work 9-1. I leave at 8:30. Get home at 1:25 or 1:30. Get myself some lunch, pay some bills, sit down for a bit to rest. And dd walks in the door before 3:00 and ds at 3:30. Day over. Rest of day is spent focusing on homework, then dinner, then showers and making sure kids read and get ready for tomorrow. Where did my day go? Edit: I get up at 5:30 as well. Dd's bus comes at 6:30 and ds's bus comes at 8:30. Put him on the bus and off I go.

This part of it, I swear, gets easier. There are women (and men!) with families who wish they were only gone from 8:30 to 1:30! You just need to find your groove.

But it does sound like they have you in a position that you haven't been trained to deal with. You can check groceries for the same money without any emotional investment.

 

[starnightstarsky2000]

I was going to post along the comments others had made about giving it a few weeks. However having now read your most reason post I believe you need to go to your superintended and informed that that while you appreciate the chance to work with this special needs child. This is not a job you were informed about nor do you feel you have the correct training to meet this child's needs. An Learning Center or Special Needs Aid is NOT the same as a basic TA and if you don't have the training or the desire to work with this child you do indeed need to resign ASAP. I say this because a basic TA and a Special Needs TA aren't even close to the same job and to expect someone who wasn't trained for this position, choose this position and already understands that it isn't working out needs to resign. Special needs children DO get upset over teachers leaving HOWEVER this is only the first week of school and it far better to resign now then to have that child depend on you and have you leave in a month or two which could then cause the child to feel abandoned right now with the stress of the new school years and changes it won't cause nearly as big of a problem. As both a formal Special Needs Child and Special Needs TA please understand you are doing neither the child nor the school any favors by staying with a job you do not want. And as it is only one child you won't be leaving the school in a jam like you would if it were a class of 5-6 kids.

 

[PaddingtonBear]

I am busting my rump, driving to the boonies, and using up a huge part of my day for $9 an hour. It's so not worth it. Originally I thought it would be nice to get out of the house and make a little disney money. Now, I see the worth of me being at home. My time is worth more than I'm making.

I don't mean to sound condescending at all. This is so much work and time for very little. I wish I had realized that before I took this job.

I was going to post yesterday, but I was fuming, and realized I would probably get in some trouble if I posted what I was really thinking.

So, here it goes, the watered down, hopefully not offensive version:

Seriously, you're complaining about working part time? you don't need the money? Your time is worth more than $9/hr? Really?

Do you know how many mothers work full time and manage to raise wondeful children, keep thier house in a state of something resembling order and do it for less than they feel thier time is worth? How many people would do anything for a job, even one that pays $9?

I know you don't mean to be condecending. I believe that. But I do think its a litte insensitive in this economy to say that your time isn't worth your paycheck. Its also a little insensitive to those of us who work to whine about how hard it is to juggle working during school days. I'd KILL to be able to work part time.

Here's what I think- if you do really need/want the money- then put on your big girl pants and learn to juggle the way the rest of us have. If you don't need the money, quit so someone who wants to work can have the job.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to attack you, I am just hoping to give you a little perspective.

 

[Kickapoo Joie Juice]

I don't understand why you didn't post the first time that you wanted to quit because you didn't feel qualified to teach the autistic child?

It's an entirely different argument to say, I want to quit because the job description was inaccurate and I am not qualified rather than, I want to quit so I can get the laundry done.

It makes sense for you to talk to the school and say, hey, I'm not qualified for this job, I am not capable of doing it, can you shift me to a position that I am qualified for asap?

I am sure the mom of the autistic child would much prefer having a qualified (we call them para-pro's here) helping her kid, and I'm sure she would be very discouraged to find that the person assigned to help her kid had just quit on them right at the beginning of the year.

I understand you want to quit, but maybe you could work on switching positions in the school and helping to find a replacement, so it works out well for your reputation in the end and for that child that's in need of additional assistance...