To the OP, I would decide what time of year you plan to go and then use the prices you will find here or on WDW site to do 'mock-up' trips. You can plan your Disney vacation at the hotel you want and with the number of days of tickets you want and at least get an idea. Then you can work backwards to see where you might cut. Cutting back on days for a hopper
isn't a money-saver after you get 4 days in-- a 7 day Hopper is only an increase of $7.45 per adult, $4.26 per child over a 4-day Hopper--total, not per day! However, choosing
non-hoppers vs hoppers will save you $47.92 per adult and per child for the any length of stay. I chose not to get Hoppers for our next trip since I will save $200. I can always upgrade there if I
really have to hop, but I think I will plan around it to save the $ even though I'm not watching my budget. I just hate thinking I may pay the $$ and then NOT hop!!
Look at menus and see what you think you might spend on meals-- I personally think it is a better deal not to do the
DDP for us, but you may get to take advantage of a
free dining code sometime also.
So take some time (when you can spare it with 2 little ones!) and play around on the Disney sites and see what you can come up with that fits your idea of a fun trip! I agree with others that I'd rather cut back somewhere else to do the trip "right". I haven't been since 1984 except for one day and our next trip will be a blow out for us, but worth every penny!
Good luck!