Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[schumigirl]

Mourners walking behind a coffin is usual in UK and Ireland. However children , even of the deceased don't usually take part. At the time, it was a huge talking point, as most people felt that it was wrong for William and Harry to take part. It was seen that it was the Royal Family putting duty and a media image over the grief of two young boys who had just lost their mother. Having children at a funeral is a big talking point and most families dont bring children to funerals in The UK.

I‘ve had the complete opposite experiences living primarily in Scotland and England.

Never once been to a funeral where anyone walked behind the funeral procession. The hearse usually arrives at the house, everyone in the immediate family procession gets in the funeral cars and drive to the church or crematorium.

And children have always been to every funeral I’ve been to or spoken about. Most feel children deserve the chance to say goodbye too, depending on the child of course. Especially if it’s their parents/grandparents immediate family.

I’ve never heard of children not being there, nor have I ever heard people say they shouldn’t be there.

 

[Karin1984]

According to William it was a family decision and Harry sais that he was glad he did it in the documentary, Diana 7 days.

 

[schumigirl]

According to William it was a family decision and Harry sais that he was glad he did it in the documentary, Diana 7 days.

I also remember Charles being slated for wearing a navy suit and not black.

He later admitted he wore it as Diana always loved him in it and thought he looked good in it. Always thought that was a nice touch from Charles, as he and Diana really had made their peace with each other at that point.

 

[cabanafrau]

According to William it was a family decision and Harry sais that he was glad he did it in the documentary, Diana 7 days.

Not very long ago Harry made comments in an interview that it was like torture and would never happen today. He gets to have complicated feelings about it. I don't think many have trouble allowing him space for that.

 

[Cheburashka]

most people felt that it was wrong for William and Harry to take part. It was seen that it was the Royal Family putting duty and a media image over the grief of two young boys who had just lost their mother. Having children at a funeral is a big talking point and most families dont bring children to funerals in The UK.

Meh. Some people agreed with it and some didn't. It's partly a generational thing, as people these days are much more protective of children's feelings (people debate whether that is for better or worse for the children in the long run) than they used to be. Prince Philip was from the older generation and talked Prince William into walking. William hadn't wanted to, not due to it being traumatic, but because he hadn't wanted to be displayed for the media that he blamed for her death. Prince Philip, who lost many family members in childhood, told William that as an adult looking back, he'd probably feel better about himself for having walked behind his mother at the funeral. William took that advice and went with it. He wasn't forced. Harry was more agreeable about walking than William had been and no one had to talk him around to doing it.

Not very long ago Harry made comments in an interview that it was like torture and would never happen today.

It's only been after he got involved with Meghan that Harry has been talking about having a traumatic childhood & complaining about the funeral. He was much more relaxed and happy go lucky in the past. In fact, he used to comment in interviews that he didn't have quite as strong feelings about it as William as he was younger and hadn't known his mother as well (child of boarding school & divorce meant he didn't have as much time with her as most kids his age would have had in the U.S.) He mentioned seeing a man crying in the street and wondering how that man could feel more strongly about it than himself.

Maybe he had repressed his feelings, but the bottom line is that many people have childhood traumas, and those can't be used as eternal excuses for adult misbehavior.

 

[NotUrsula]

To lighten this topic a bit, last night James Corden's show aired a light interview with the Duke, played (as usual for Corden) partly seriously and partly for laughs. The Duchess was not present, but was briefly included via a phone call.

Full disclosure: I love Corden. The man seemingly has no vanity when it comes to his work, and will cheerfully make a total fool of himself in public for his art. Good ability to have, IMO.

 

[ronandannette]

Not very long ago Harry made comments in an interview that it was like torture and would never happen today. He gets to have complicated feelings about it. I don't think many have trouble allowing him space for that.

Yes, just so. And one can be grateful for having done something of such great importance, even if it was totally horrible. It was a sacred duty and gift to his mother and an experience none of us would wish on their worst enemy. That's not the same as him necessarily having been coerced or exploited. That's what prompted my original question, because if such a funeral courtage is a very typical practise in the UK, it would have been odder for William and Harry not to have been included than that they were.

 

[Cheburashka]

Yes, just so. And one can be grateful for having done something of such great importance, even if it was totally horrible. It was a sacred duty and gift to his mother and an experience none of us would wish on their worst enemy. That's not the same as him necessarily having been coerced or exploited. That's what prompted my original question, because if such a funeral courtage is a very typical practise in the UK, it would have been odder for William and Harry not to have been included than that they were.

It's an older tradition for the family (often the whole family, not just the men), to walk behind the coffin for a funeral, which is why people don't see it much anymore. The royals are very traditional, which is why they likely thought that was a good way to show respect for Diana. It was very much a tradition 100+ years ago (remember how Oliver Twist once had a job walking behind coffins to add to the pathos of the funeral), today not so much.

 

[cabanafrau]

To lighten this topic a bit, last night James Corden's show aired a light interview with the Duke, played (as usual for Corden) partly seriously and partly for laughs. The Duchess was not present, but was briefly included via a phone call.

Full disclosure: I love Corden. The man seemingly has no vanity when it comes to his work, and will cheerfully make a total fool of himself in public for his art. Good ability to have, IMO.

Funny made for TV bit, fully scripted, with someone they consider enough of a friend to invite to their wedding.. It's not as if the entire thing wasn't known to Harry and team beforehand, and approved -- right down to the detail that the waffles Meghan whips up for Archie and Harry every morning are from an organic mix she makes up. IMO the truly organic bit in the whole thing was the tea cart having a mind of its own.

 

[Tink-osophy]

It's complicated with the royal family, because it's both professional and personal for them and, then, a mix of privilege and service in terms of the country.

All that, I think, has probably been difficult for Harry to settle within himself, let alone negotiate within the family and present to the UK.

In some ways, I get the impression that Harry's not so sure of the balance of what he wants to get away from and what he wants to say attached to (or how to go about it, at least) and so it hasn't always been well-communicated by him to the British public.

Sometimes, his words and actions have come across as heart-wrenching; but too often lately they've been frustratingly entitled and hypocritical. It's certainly very messy. And a shame. I wish he and Meghan would stop trying to present a perfect front, because it's not quite working (nobody's perfect or infallible) and it would be great if they could admit where they've gone wrong as much as they've been voicing where they feel wronged.

Maybe, they could have made the break and ended up with a different balance if they had gone about it differently themselves.

Mind you we can all relate to complex family emotions!

 

[mamamia2005]

I haven't seen the James Corden programme, but have read a couple of the headlines in the UK Daily Mail. One of them was that the Queen sent Archie a waffle maker for Christmas. Seems an odd present to send to your toddler great grandson

I wonder who's decision it was to release that interview on the very day the Queen released an important message about the vaccine rollout here in the UK. Seems a bit tit for tat on either side really.

And again, I come back to the point - if Haz and Meg wanted a private life, two high profile interviews within weeks are not the way to go about it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Funny made for TV bit, fully scripted, with someone they consider enough of a friend to invite to their wedding.. It's not as if the entire thing wasn't known to Harry and team beforehand, and approved -- right down to the detail that the waffles Meghan whips up for Archie and Harry every morning are from an organic mix she makes up. IMO the truly organic bit in the whole thing was the tea cart having a mind of its own.

It wasn’t without its criticisms on timing. See below, with over 5K Comments, many from the UK and negative.

Not sure people are buying it. Nary a peep all year, and all of a sudden a media blitz...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...nd-timing-Harrys-TV-appearance-unhelpful.html

”...critics have questioned the timing of his 'prancing' TV appearance, released last night just as the Queen gave a rare public statement encouraging all Britons to 'think about others' and have the Covid-19 jab.

Palace sources told MailOnline the timing of Harry's TV appearance is 'unhelpful, and has caused 'disquiet' at the palace, especially with Prince Philip spending his 11th day in hospital battling a nasty infection. 'When the Queen speaks as she has done about the vaccine it is accepted that she has a clear field', the insider said.

Others watching the film, where Harry complains about the 'toxic' media attention he received in the UK during a TV interview watched by millions, urged him on social media to 'stop bl**dy whining' and 're-writing history'.
The prince was also accused of 'ignoring' the multi-million dollar deals he and his wife have signed with Spotify and Netflix, with Harry even praising the streaming giant's The Crown, despite its negative portrayal of his family, including his parents Charles and Diana.

Royal expert Robert Jobson, a biographer of Prince Charles and the Duke of Edinburgh, said: 'Timing is everything isn't it. On the day that the Queen has issued a very, very important message about the whole of the nation getting the jab, that message has sort of been blurred by Harry, the man who wants a private life, talking about his private life again'.

Royal expert Phil Dampier said: 'As The Queen urges us to think of others, Prince Harry prances about in LA and makes the absurd claim that he hasn't walked away from the royals. What planet is he on? Hollywood I suppose.' While commentator Richard Fitzwilliams told MailOnline: 'What is 'Haz' thinking of, appearing on this sort of show and making an idiot of himself? He reveals the Queen gave Archie a waffle maker for Christmas. Waffle is what he does. The script is puerile. It's nauseating to watch, all 17 minutes of it.'

 

[Karin1984]

Funny made for TV bit, fully scripted, with someone they consider enough of a friend to invite to their wedding.. It's not as if the entire thing wasn't known to Harry and team beforehand, and approved -- right down to the detail that the waffles Meghan whips up for Archie and Harry every morning are from an organic mix she makes up. IMO the truly organic bit in the whole thing was the tea cart having a mind of its own.

Including the part that Harry had to go to the bathroom and Corden asking "You're going for a wee?"

If the Daily Mail was going to be positive, that would be a surprise.
The criticism the press has that Harry hasn't coordinated his interview with the queen who had just done a message on the importance of vaccinations... yeah, that's the other side. If the Palace says "no half in, half out" then they cannot expect him to be half in by checking their calendars.
The criticism that environmental conscious Harry is taking a not so eco-friendly bus for two people... That is more of an issue Harry really has to think about in advance.

 

[Moliphino]

I haven't seen the James Corden programme, but have read a couple of the headlines in the UK Daily Mail. One of them was that the Queen sent Archie a waffle maker for Christmas. Seems an odd present to send to your toddler great grandson

From what I read of the interview, the queen asked what Archie would want and that's what they told her so that's what she sent.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

If the Daily Mail was going to be positive, that would be a surprise.

How to explain the top Comments?

 

[cabanafrau]

It's complicated with the royal family, because it's both professional and personal for them and, then, a mix of privilege and service in terms of the country.

All that, I think, has probably been difficult for Harry to settle within himself, let alone negotiate within the family and present to the UK.

In some ways, I get the impression that Harry's not so sure of the balance of what he want to get away from and what he wants to say attached to (or how to go about it, at least) and so it hasn't always been well-communicated by him to the British public.

Sometimes, his words and actions have come across as heart-wrenching; but too often lately they've been frustratingly entitled and hypocritical. It's certainly very messy. And a shame. I wish he and Meghan would stop trying to present a perfect front, because it's not quite working (nobody's perfect or infallible) and it would be great if they could admit where they've gone wrong as much as they've been voicing where they feel wronged.

Maybe, they could have made the break and ended up with a different balance if they had gone about it differently themselves.

Mind you we all understand complex family emotions!

No doubt a lot of what is happening is emotionally complex. More and more it seems as if from the family the perspective is one of deeper and deeper confusion, with more and more wariness as Harry seems to have taken them by surprise with change of direction and change of opinion without so much as using a turn signal. That isn't a respectful way to treat people you love -- or the way you handle things with those you've worked with collaboratively for years on projects you claim to be very interested in and supportive of.

As time rolls on more and more of it points to wanting what they want when and how they want it, no matter what -- all the while feeling perfectly entitled to expect to be seen completely favorably and intimating negative things about other people they claim are the problem, including causing all kinds of unflattering speculation about people they claim to love dearly.

I haven't seen the James Corden programme, but have read a couple of the headlines in the UK Daily Mail. One of them was that the Queen sent Archie a waffle maker for Christmas. Seems an odd present to send to your toddler great grandson

I wonder who's decision it was to release that interview on the very day the Queen released an important message about the vaccine rollout here in the UK. Seems a bit tit for tat on either side really.

And again, I come back to the point - if Haz and Meg wanted a private life, two high profile interviews within weeks are not the way to go about it.

The claim is that the Queen asked what Archie wanted for Christmas and they told her a waffle maker. All the better to craft an anecdote involving a Christmas gift from the Queen and tie it to earth mother of the year incarnate whipping up waffles every morning from her own organic mix. Every. Single. mention or photo from these two that in any way includes Meghan is curated and calculated to the nth degree as if it came directly from the hands of the world's top PR firm. Genuine and human, flaws and all, goes a long way to forging a relationship with the public. That's how Diana was able to blaze a trail while Charles languished and pouted at being left in her dust. If Harry loses that touch no amount of PR and relationships with Corden and Oprah will prevent these two from going down in flames publicly. Meghan might be just fine if she relaxed and approached the public as her real self instead of a PR campaign creation.

As far as the timing of the Corden show bit and the Queen's vaccine announcement, I don't see how Harry would be privy to the schedule for the Queen's announcements. It does seem odd timing with his 99 year old grandfather now on a fairly extensive hospital stay. No matter what, an interview like that at any time is curious for someone craving their privacy enough to be launching multiple lawsuits about it.

 

[cabanafrau]

Including the part that Harry had to go to the bathroom and Corden asking "You're going for a wee?"

Do you mean to suggest that the distinctive window on the front facade of the well known house might not in fact actually happen to open on a powder room at all?

Mind blown I tell you, I'm mind blown that they were able to fool me so well.

Next thing you're going to tell me is that a man schooled from childhood in formal etiquette and decorum wouldn't so readily and boldly request a look around, ask to use the facilities whilst on camera, and open the window of said facilities while a camera crew was filming.

 

[Karin1984]

How to explain the top Comments?

I don't know about the UK, but in NL, I do not take people who comment on newspaper articles and especially sensational news articles very serious. You have people who comment, regardless of the article, our prime minister is to blame. Whether it's something big like the pandemic, or a tree falling over in the forest. I think people who react are very passionate about the topic, but make up a very small part of the population. There are no doubt thousands of people who thoroughly hate Harry and Meghan and express their frustration about the couple in the comments (or on GMB), but I think the majority of the UK doesn't care enough about Harry anymore to have an opinion about an interview or comment on a newspaper article.
As with everything, it's the extremists you hear most because they yell the loudest.

It does seem odd timing with his 99 year old grandfather now on a fairly extensive hospital stay.

It was recorded about two weeks ago before Phillip went to the hospital. Maybe they didn't think of pulling it back, maybe Corden asked to keep it in because otherwise he would have an empty slot in his show. Who knows.
It will be really interesting what happens if Phillip passes before the Commonwealth day. If the queen and the other senior royals still broadcast their bits on the BBC, it is part of their duty to go on. If Harry and Meghan let CBS air their interview it will be poor taste. And show the difference between royalty and celebrity.

 

[okeydokey]

It wasn’t without its criticisms on timing. See below, with over 5K Comments, many from the UK and negative.

Not sure people are buying it. Nary a peep all year, and all of a sudden a media blitz...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...nd-timing-Harrys-TV-appearance-unhelpful.html

”...critics have questioned the timing of his 'prancing' TV appearance, released last night just as the Queen gave a rare public statement encouraging all Britons to 'think about others' and have the Covid-19 jab.

Palace sources told MailOnline the timing of Harry's TV appearance is 'unhelpful, and has caused 'disquiet' at the palace, especially with Prince Philip spending his 11th day in hospital battling a nasty infection. 'When the Queen speaks as she has done about the vaccine it is accepted that she has a clear field', the insider said.

Others watching the film, where Harry complains about the 'toxic' media attention he received in the UK during a TV interview watched by millions, urged him on social media to 'stop bl**dy whining' and 're-writing history'.
The prince was also accused of 'ignoring' the multi-million dollar deals he and his wife have signed with Spotify and Netflix, with Harry even praising the streaming giant's The Crown, despite its negative portrayal of his family, including his parents Charles and Diana.

Royal expert Robert Jobson, a biographer of Prince Charles and the Duke of Edinburgh, said: 'Timing is everything isn't it. On the day that the Queen has issued a very, very important message about the whole of the nation getting the jab, that message has sort of been blurred by Harry, the man who wants a private life, talking about his private life again'.

Royal expert Phil Dampier said: 'As The Queen urges us to think of others, Prince Harry prances about in LA and makes the absurd claim that he hasn't walked away from the royals. What planet is he on? Hollywood I suppose.' While commentator Richard Fitzwilliams told MailOnline: 'What is 'Haz' thinking of, appearing on this sort of show and making an idiot of himself? He reveals the Queen gave Archie a waffle maker for Christmas. Waffle is what he does. The script is puerile. It's nauseating to watch, all 17 minutes of it.'

I can't imagine having every aspect of my life scrutinized on this level. How awful. Harry has said that the tabloid press in the UK made his life miserable, and I believe him. Imagine being them and having to deal with this.

 

[cabanafrau]

I can't imagine having every aspect of my life scrutinized on this level. How awful. Harry has said that the tabloid press in the UK made his life miserable, and I believe him. Imagine being them and having to deal with this.

Upthread I said fame would be several circles of hell for me. He didn't have a choice in that from birth. He has now taken major steps supposedly to rectify that. No matter what he does he will always have a place in historical records. However, if he seriously and assiduously pursues a genuinely private life most press coverage will taper off. Pursuing interviews and television appearances will not lessen press attention.