Is it okay to put family first? (Response to royal family stuff)

[VandVsmama]

So they had their royal summit and the Queen responded kindly and graciously to Harry and Meghan, agreeing to accommodate their decision and work with them to allow them to have the life they want. Harry met with his brother, father and grandmother (apparently it was decided that Meghan did not need to be included in the discussion), and they came away with some kind of plan to go forward.

Now why on earth didn’t they do this weeks or months ago privately? They could have avoided much of the public backlash and negative press if they had simply just talked to their family like normal people.

I completely agree.

 

[gwynne]

Great parents don’t raise very toxic children. Toxic people are products of toxic environments, dysfunction that is passed down from one generation to the next.

Extricating oneself from that is not an easy process and it’s not a decision made lightly. People don’t cut off healthy, functional, supportive family members for no good reason just like no one up and leaves a happy, loving marriage or quits a great paying job they adore. Things have to be overwhelmingly negative and beyond repair for someone to get to the point where they feel they have no choice but to completely sever ties.

It’s true that we’re just outsiders looking in, but if Meghan has chosen to distance herself from certain family members, it’s probably safe to say she has good reason for doing so.

Disagree. Speaking in general, (not specifically M) there are lots of explanations for distancing.
Generally people do what works for them, personally. Sometimes the reasons are good and understandable, other times the reasons turn out to be not so nice and are rather selfish.

And not every toxic person is the product of a toxic environment. Complicated stuff.

 

[L&Lfan]

Has anyone who threatened to leave actually moved out of the US since ‘16?
I doubt Ms Meghan Markle will make good on her threat either....

 

[snappy]

My take is when faced with being under such overwhelming public and specifically media scrutiny, people make choices they might not otherwise make with public media statements, interviews and more. And I think this applies to both father and daughter.

 

[luvsJack]

Great parents don’t raise very toxic children. Toxic people are products of toxic environments, dysfunction that is passed down from one generation to the next.

Extricating oneself from that is not an easy process and it’s not a decision made lightly. People don’t cut off healthy, functional, supportive family members for no good reason just like no one up and leaves a happy, loving marriage or quits a great paying job they adore. Things have to be overwhelmingly negative and beyond repair for someone to get to the point where they feel they have no choice but to completely sever ties.

It’s true that we’re just outsiders looking in, but if Meghan has chosen to distance herself from certain family members, it’s probably safe to say she has good reason for doing so.

Dysfunction doesn't always come from both parents. Also, maybe its her mother who is really toxic? Or maybe, becoming the "big star" made her toxic or at the very least like she is just a bit better than others. Do you personally know her? No? Neither do I. How about her Dad? Oh, yeah, me neither. So, I wouldn't be so quick to decide who is the wrong or who is the wronged party. Blaming parents for adult children's behavior seems wrong to me. At what point does it become the adult person's own responsibility?

And you have no clue what she did to cut ties with him. Just because it may be a hard process for some doesn't mean it was for her.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

So they had their royal summit and the Queen responded kindly and graciously to Harry and Meghan, agreeing to accommodate their decision and work with them to allow them to have the life they want. Harry met with his brother, father and grandmother (apparently it was decided that Meghan did not need to be included in the discussion), and they came away with some kind of plan to go forward.

Now why on earth didn’t they do this weeks or months ago privately? They could have avoided much of the public backlash and negative press if they had simply just talked to their family like normal people.

I’ve read several reports saying these discussions had been ongoing for months as Harry tried to work through the proper channels, but the Palace was resistant to finalizing the details with him. Only after a tabloid got ahold of the story, leaked by a palace source, did Harry take matters into his own hands. Then, suddenly, the Palace was able to whip up a resolution within 72 hours.

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/s...th-knew-prince-harry-meghan-markle-exit-news/

 

[Jennasis]

Don't know about "endear" but some do agree with them. But there is 0 guarantee they will agree with the next administration. That's why its ridiculous to name a person rather than saying they will look into moving to the US at a later date. But, hey, much better to get those digs in while they are convenient, right?

They can cross that bridge in 4 years.

 

[NotUrsula]

Elizabeth II is my Queen too and I am extremely proud of her. To serve and to put your country and your people before yourself and your own desires, for over seventy years is truly amazing, and she deserves as much respect as any military veteran.

And to be clear, the Queen *is* a military veteran. She could have been given her pick of desk-job type assignments during the war, but she chose to take a rather grubby one: she was a lorry driver (in an era when they were expected to do their own engine maintenance.) Whatever else you can say about her, she has grit.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

Has anyone who threatened to leave actually moved out of the US since ‘16?
I doubt Ms Meghan Markle will make good on her threat either....

Didn't Meghan live in Canada for the last 7 years (before marrying Harry)?

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Dysfunction doesn't always come from both parents. Also, maybe its her mother who is really toxic? Or maybe, becoming the "big star" made her toxic or at the very least like she is just a bit better than others. Do you personally know her? No? Neither do I. How about her Dad? Oh, yeah, me neither. So, I wouldn't be so quick to decide who is the wrong or who is the wronged party. Blaming parents for adult children's behavior seems wrong to me. At what point does it become the adult person's own responsibility?

And you have no clue what she did to cut ties with him. Just because it may be a hard process for some doesn't mean it was for her.

I’m not claiming Meghan is toxic or dysfunctional in any way. I’m referring to her father and step sibling, the ones who trash her in the media and sell pictures to paparazzi. I would imagine that’s just the tip of the iceberg regarding the conflict Meghan has had with them through the years. As far as I know, she has never spoken ill of them in return or used her mega-platform to try to “set the record straight” or even publicly defended herself. She has chosen to take the high road by not engaging and simply distancing herself from them. That shows maturity, IMO.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I’ve read several reports saying these discussions had been ongoing for months as Harry tried to work through the proper channels, but the Palace was resistant to finalizing the details with him. Only after a tabloid got ahold of the story, leaked by a palace source, did Harry take matters into his own hands. Then, suddenly, the Palace was able to whip up a resolution within 72 hours.

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/s...th-knew-prince-harry-meghan-markle-exit-news/

Exactly this.

Also, what else was the queen going to release in a statement. "We have decided that Harry and Meghan can't go anywhere. They are stuck with us forever and ever and I'm never "allowing" them to live their own lives."

 

[Summer2018]

Does Meghan Markle realize that she married a Prince? She chose to date him. They fell in love, but nobody held a gun to her head to marry him. When she became engaged, I'm sure that she was educated in protocols, duties, etc. At any point before the actual wedding, she could have backed out. She chose this lifestyle. I don't really feel sorry for her.

She is worth 5 million. Prince Harry is worth over 25 million. She can go back to acting. He can do speaking engagements. I think they will be okay.

Prince William has always been my favorite. I hope that he becomes King in my lifetime.

 

[gwynne]

Does Meghan Markle realize that she married a Prince? She chose to date him. They fell in love, but nobody held a gun to her head to marry him. When she became engaged, I'm sure that she was educated in protocols, duties, etc. At any point before the actual wedding, she could have backed out. She chose this lifestyle. I don't really feel sorry for her.

She is worth 5 million. Prince Harry is worth over 25 million. She can go back to acting. He can do speaking engagements. I think they will be okay.

Prince William has always been my favorite. I hope that he becomes King in my lifetime.

I think as long as they pay their own costs out of their own pockets it will go a long way toward showing they are willing to live independently. (Well, on some acting, Harry's income and Prince Charles's checks....)
Their security costs in Canada are estimated at $1.7 million per year. So, they will need to pop that into the yearly budget.

I don't believe they should have Frogmore Cottage reserved for their vaca home, but that's just my opinion.
The incredibly expensive reno plus furnishings were gifted to them because it was going to be their permanent home. Now we know that is not the case.
If another member of the Royal Family would like to live there full time, hopefully they will get that opportunity.

 

[TLSnell1981]

I read the entire post. Even if it's not meant as a negative, it still is awful. It is quite negative.

A bit more seasoned? For what? To be treated like an outsider? Her age and past relationships have nothing to do with how others should treat her.

You still don’t get it. It’s not about “how she is treated” by others. Nevermind.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Does Meghan Markle realize that she married a Prince? She chose to date him. They fell in love, but nobody held a gun to her head to marry him. When she became engaged, I'm sure that she was educated in protocols, duties, etc. At any point before the actual wedding, she could have backed out. She chose this lifestyle. I don't really feel sorry for her.

She is worth 5 million. Prince Harry is worth over 25 million. She can go back to acting. He can do speaking engagements. I think they will be okay.

Prince William has always been my favorite. I hope that he becomes King in my lifetime.

But do you feel sorry for Harry, who didn’t choose this lifestyle? The guy who said this, speaking of his dead mother:

“I think being part of this family, in this role and this job, every single time I see a camera, every single time I hear a click, every single time I see a flash, it takes me straight back. So in that respect, it's the worst reminder of her life as opposed to the best.”

He has made absolutely no secret of his mental health struggles and says every single camera he sees triggers memories of his mother’s death. That he wouldn’t want to be propped up on a world stage as a public figure only seems like common sense. Why on earth is everyone pinning this decision on Meghan? Maybe she’s also relieved to get out of the spotlight or, for all we know, she might be a fame-hungry skank who’s only bitterly agreeing to go along with this to make her husband happy. In any case, it seems likely Harry is a driving force in this decision.

https://pagesix.com/2020/01/10/prince-harry-feared-his-mental-health-was-at-risk-ahead-of-megxit/
https://www.thedailybeast.com/amids...-giving-them-what-they-want-is-on-the-horizon
https://www.forbes.com/sites/cecili...his-20-years-of-mental-struggle/#7744941778ab
https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/prince...ash-takes-him-back-to-diana-s-death-1.4644187

 

[TLSnell1981]

Or it will endear them to much of the US. But it's also a wise choice. Why move to a country whose leadership you disagree with? At worst they only have to wait 4 more years to move here if they really want to.

It might endear her to 50% of the US. I guess that's preferable to being the most loathed woman in the U.K.

 

[AppleDumpling]

I’ve read several reports saying these discussions had been ongoing for months as Harry tried to work through the proper channels, but the Palace was resistant to finalizing the details with him. Only after a tabloid got ahold of the story, leaked by a palace source, did Harry take matters into his own hands. Then, suddenly, the Palace was able to whip up a resolution within 72 hours.

Fair enough. None of us know exactly what went down and the timing of when things happened. However, Harry could have held back his statements on social media and launching the Sussex Royal website until he knew the official RF position. Again, I believe it was a matter of showing respect for his father and the Queen.

 

[VandVsmama]

Why on earth is everyone pinning this decision on Meghan?

Because we're opinionated and judgmental.

 

[mousefan73]

They can cross that bridge in 4 years.

Or in 10 months

 

[AppleDumpling]

Also, what else was the queen going to release in a statement. "We have decided that Harry and Meghan can't go anywhere. They are stuck with us forever and ever and I'm never "allowing" them to live their own lives."

LOL. Not in those words, but if she were truly opposed to their idea, she could still express support on a personal level (as a grandmum), yet regret that it is not possible for them to continue royal duties if they choose to make their primary residence outside the UK. Or, just say something to the effect of “no comment at this time.”