Is it okay to let yourself "go" after marriage?

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

Question: Is it okay to let yourself "go" after getting married?

 

[We_Love_Disney]

Depends on where you 'go' to!

Do you mean stop going to the gym, eating fattening foods, belching in front of company, walking around the house in a housecoat that belonged to nana? Sure if you want your DH or DW to stop 'go'ing to that special activity you once enjoyed.

 

[Acklander]

I consider it a non-issue. I married DH because he's a wonderful man, a hard worker, he can offer me a challenge in cribbage, he cries at sappy movies, he's an involved dad, he loves to travel, whenever I call him on his cell he answers "Hello Beautiful". His eyes light up when he sees me, and even after 25 years he still turns me on. I really don't give a crap if he lets himself "go" or not.

 

[eliza61]

Question: Is it okay to let yourself "go" after getting married?

Depends on what "let go" means. Do I want my dh to gain weight, eat fattening food and stop exercising? No. Not because he owes me any thing but because I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He's over 50 so all that would be inviting heart attach, stroke, obesity and other health complications.

But then I wouldn't want anyone to do that.

 

[binny]

I consider it a non-issue. I married DH because he's a wonderful man, a hard worker, he can offer me a challenge in cribbage, he cries at sappy movies, he's an involved dad, he loves to travel, whenever I call him on his cell he answers "Hello Beautiful". His eyes light up when he sees me, and even after 25 years he still turns me on. I really don't give a crap if he lets himself "go" or not.

That

When you're in a loving relationship the other stuff doesnt matter as much. Im trying to lose some weight not because DH wants me to, he would love me no matter what, but because I want to be healthy and be able to have more energy. To him I am beautiful and frankly, thats all I care about and he is the only man I need to impress!

 

[luvmy3]

It depends on what you mean. I don't think its okay for anyone married or not to let them selves go to a point where their hygeine and health suffer, but if its just a matter of wearing nothing but PJ's everytime you go out, go for it anytime you want

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

IMHO--not totally. We may age, we may gain a few pounds...whatever, but I feel that I should take pride in my sense of self. I don't let go, because I care for myself better than that. Now---lookig at my engagement and wedding portraits staring me in the face...my face has aged and my cellulite has multiplied a little. But that is not what I consider letting myself go, because I so what I can as my budget allows to take care of myself.

I will be honest that if my SO significantly (by choice) altered his habits and was more of a slob...I'd have an issue. He too has aged and he isn't the same size he was...that is totally fine. I don't consider that letting go.

 

[krcit]

IMHO--not totally. We may age, we may gain a few pounds...whatever, but I feel that I should take pride in my sense of self. I don't let go, because I care for myself better than that. Now---lookig at my engagement and wedding portraits staring me in the face...my face has aged and my cellulite has multiplied a little. But that is not what I consider letting myself go, because I so what I can as my budget allows to take care of myself.

I will be honest that if my SO significantly (by choice) altered his habits and was more of a slob...I'd have an issue. He too has aged and he isn't the same size he was...that is totally fine. I don't consider that letting go.

I agree with this. It actually makes me happier all around(jncluding in my relationship) when I know that I look good(or as good as I can look) My DH has never been a sharp dresser but is always neat and clean and I would have a big problem if he suddenly stopped shaving and washing and was wearing ripped clothes. Might make me shallow but that's the truth.

 

[JessicaR]

Question: Is it okay to let yourself "go" after getting married?

Let yourself go how?

 

[ChicagoFitnessClub]

Let yourself go how?

Letting yourself go means no longer caring about one's appearance.

 

[JessicaR]

Letting yourself go means no longer caring about one's appearance.

So that in turn can also have a bearing on ones health. Hygiene, health, not caring about your appearance. No longer taking pride in the way you look and feel about yourself. Making an effort should be a priority. I don't think its OK to let that slide. Especially for the persons self esteem not necessarily for anyone else.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I think you should be able to do whatever you want, just don't be upset at any consequences of your decisions.

But for me, I agree with Lisa.

 

[dislaney]

No! Growing old is not an excuse to let yourself go. A few pounds, a few gray hairs - that's fine but to not care about your appearance not okay.

 

[C.Ann]

My late DH saw me at my best - and at my worst.. I saw him at his best - and at his worst..

What matters is what is on the "inside" - not the outside.. Beauty is only skin deep..

 

[mhsjax]

No, and I have gained quite a few pounds, and so has hubby. We both are trying to take if off because we still want to look great for each other. We are still madly in love, and that will never change. But it isn't ok to let yourself go just because you are married. I think it is selfish and lazy. And yes I am those things, because I have let myself go to some extent and I am changing that.

 

[minkydog]

I'm letting myself go to western Washington in about 3 weeks. No hubby, no kids. Heck yeah!

Seriously, I have been guilty of letting myself go. I did well until Christian was born. Since then I gained 80-lbs over 15 years. At first it wasn't too bad, but after DH got so sick I just stopped trying. There was just so much else that needed my direct attention, I stopped taking care of myself.

Well, last year really got my attention. I'm 53 now and I've developed so significant health problems. So I got on the stick and lost 50-lbs. I started an exercise program. I started dressing better and wearing makeup again. I'm taking some time to feed my soul (see above trip )

My DH loves me even though I'm clearly not the same girl he married. He didn't say anything about my weight until I topped out at well over 200-lbs. And even then he was very kind. But very worried about me. It hasnt' been easy changing pretty much everything in my life, but I had to do it and I'm glad I did.

 

[dakcp2001]

Question: Is it okay to let yourself "go" after getting married?

Depends on how shallow your spouse is I guess.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I "went" before I was married.

Now that I am 28 pounds less, I think Husband is getting happier every day. He's thrilled my bp is down and that I can now walk up stairs without panting.

I'm thrilled because my wedding dress will always be something I can get into.

I just wish I could lose another 10 pounds. Stupid stubborn pounds.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

my DH wants to know where it is that we will "go"

I think life just kinda happens so we all have to roll with it . If letting yourself go means health issues then NO it is not ok . You want to stay with your loved ones for as long as you can

 

[busyshrew]

After marriage, no. But that first year or two after you've just had a baby..... well.... I'm far more understanding about that situation now that I've had one of my own. When you're exhausted from waking up at all hours, always busy nursing the baby, and your only fashion consideration is "how can I lift up that shirt discreetly?", you do tend to let yourself go a bit I think.