Is it ok to lose?

[sam_gordon]

I thought this might make a good conversation. A couple weeks ago, the Louisville women's basketball coach had the following to say during his post game press conference...

"You've got to have a will. You've got to have a will," he said. "Right now the generation of kids that are coming through, everybody gets a damn trophy, OK? You finish last, you come home with a trophy. You kidding me? I mean, what's that teaching kids? It's OK to lose. And unfortunately, it's our society. It's what we're building for. And it's not just in basketball; it's in life. You know, everybody thinks they should get a job. Everybody thinks they should get a good job. No, that's not the way it works. But unfortunately that's what we are preparing for. Because you finish fifth, you walk home with this nice trophy, parents are all excited."

http://www.syracuse.com/axeman/inde...aints_take_aim_at_participation_trophies.html

I know he's mainly ranting about participation trophies and we've talked about that before. I specifically want to talk about what I bolded (I don't remember discussing this aspect of things).

My gut says "yes, it's ok to lose". I mean unless someone's life depends on winning, it's kind of hard to say anything is that important.

I get being disappointed in losing and not wanting to lose. But is it "ok"?

Your thoughts?

 

[pryncess527]

Yes, it is okay to lose.
if you are afraid to lose, how many things might you never try?

Silicon Valley loves "losers" --http://www.newsweek.com/2015/09/11/silicon-valley-failing-succeeding-367179.html

 

[Hikergirl]

I think its ok to lose, as long as you tried your absolute best to win.

 

[Owlpost23]

But everyone IS going to lose something,so of course it's o.k.The trick is after you lose (whatever it may be) that you learn to deal with the loss and move on.Winning isn't as much a life lesson as losing is.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

It's ok to lose, it's not ok to stay that way. You have to try harder next time. Train harder.

 

[MinnieMouse84]

Like it or not, losing is part of life.

 

[piccolopat]

Learning how to lose is just as important as learning how to win. We should always try and put our best effort into the task, but we also need to know that the result may be less than we hope for. If someone always wins, they come to expect that they will never lose and when that day comes, it is a rude awakening. Just as we can't fully appreciate beauty without seeing ugly or appreciate a sunny day without knowing a stormy day, learning to lose make winning all the sweeter.

 

[Praying Colonel]

I think its ok to lose, as long as you tried your absolute best to win.

Exactly (and as a UK fan, it pains me to admit a U of L coach has a point ). You have to take his comment in the context of the entire answer. He's not saying losing's unacceptable--everyone loses at some point. What he's commenting on is lacking a will to win, an entitlement mentality.

 

[SC Minnie]

Someone is always going to lose-- not everyone can be a winner. I think what he is saying is they're creating a situation where kids/people are satisfied losing. When you lose you should learn from it and change so hopefully you can try your absolute hardest to win next time.

 

[prestoncaldwell]

I thought this might make a good conversation. A couple weeks ago, the Louisville women's basketball coach had the following to say during his post game press conference...
http://www.syracuse.com/axeman/inde...aints_take_aim_at_participation_trophies.html

I know he's mainly ranting about participation trophies and we've talked about that before. I specifically want to talk about what I bolded (I don't remember discussing this aspect of things).

My gut says "yes, it's ok to lose". I mean unless someone's life depends on winning, it's kind of hard to say anything is that important.

I get being disappointed in losing and not wanting to lose. But is it "ok"?

Your thoughts?

It is absolutely okay to lose. What's not okay is teaching future competitors that there is no difference between winning and losing.

 

[pryncess527]

FWIW, I grew up in the era when we handed out "participation" trophys. I never, for one second, thought my tiny participation trophy was "as good as" the huge 1st place trophy the winners got :lol
I did learn that finishing what you started has its merits, whether you like it or not.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

We all loose!

 

[mnrose]

Sure it's ok to lose. Everytime two teams play a game, someone loses. LOL. Of course, if you ALWAYS lose, that would be demoralizing.

My kids' high school played for the state championship in their division (schools in Minnesota have divisions from 1A to 6A, with 6A being the HUGE high schools and 1A being 9 man football because schools are too small to have a 12 man team...LOL). The team was undefeated in regular season play, and undefeated in all championship play off games until the end. They lost the final game (they were pretty well trounced actually). I told my kids to hold their heads high....their team did great. And, YES, it was ok for them to lose that game...someone had to! Both teams were undefeated in the regular season so it was inevitable that one team was going to be seriously disappointed.

 

[Marchand63]

I thought this might make a good conversation. A couple weeks ago, the Louisville women's basketball coach had the following to say during his post game press conference...
http://www.syracuse.com/axeman/inde...aints_take_aim_at_participation_trophies.html

I know he's mainly ranting about participation trophies and we've talked about that before. I specifically want to talk about what I bolded (I don't remember discussing this aspect of things).

My gut says "yes, it's ok to lose". I mean unless someone's life depends on winning, it's kind of hard to say anything is that important.

I get being disappointed in losing and not wanting to lose. But is it "ok"?

Your thoughts?

We are talking sports &'general games, jobs per se? I mean unless we are talking Gladiators whose life is depending on winning? I have yet to see anyone executed for losing a basketball game

Yes it is actually good to lose once in awhile, it builds character. My DS was a pitcher some of his best games where when he had to pitch his heart out. Some he won, some he lost. All taught him how to be gracious in both.

 

[Magpie]

FWIW, I grew up in the era when we handed out "participation" trophys. I never, for one second, thought my tiny participation trophy was "as good as" the huge 1st place trophy the winners got :lol
I did learn that finishing what you started has its merits, whether you like it or not.

As someone with a small box of "participation" badges and trophies in the storage room, I really appreciate them.

I was the kind of kid who never won anything. But I'd show up and try anyway. And every single one of those participation awards is a souvenir of a time when I tried. And for the record, I grew up in the seventies and eighties.

I disagree that the coach has any kind of point at all. He's slamming an entire generation, and ignoring the fact that HE almost certainly grew up with the same participation trophies being handed out. He probably just never noticed because he was always bringing home one of the top three.

And what's his beef with society? Of course everyone thinks they should get a job! And of course everyone wants a good job! Who doesn't? And of course you're going to whine if you find yourself with a masters degree in biology working in a retail store (just an example I read on Reddit today). He'd be complaining, too, if he hadn't been lucky enough to land his job, coaching, and was stuck cleaning toilets instead.

The world is not going to heck in a handbasket. Everyone under 30 isn't a spoiled, entitled snowflake. This kind of tedious wheezing about "kids these days" really gets old fast.

 

[ravenclawtrekkie]

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life."

One of my favorite Star Trek quotes. Nobody always wins. "Participation trophies" don't change that. The kids that lose still know they didn't win.

 

[ElsieAstronaut]

Not only is it OK, I think it's important to lose. How else will you learn to cope with loss, learn to move on from loss, so many other necessary lessons come from losing.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Everyone loses sometime. It's okay to lose, and lose gracefully. But, don't pretend it's the same as winning. It's not.

 

[Cogswel_Cogs]

Just don't expect sprinkles!
Sprinkles are for Winners.

 

[Marchand63]

As someone with a small box of "participation" badges and trophies in the storage room, I really appreciate them.

I was the kind of kid who never won anything. But I'd show up and try anyway. And every single one of those participation awards is a souvenir of a time when I tried. And for the record, I grew up in the seventies and eighties.

I disagree that the coach has any kind of point at all. He's slamming an entire generation, and ignoring the fact that HE almost certainly grew up with the same participation trophies being handed out. He probably just never noticed because he was always bringing home one of the top three.

And what's his beef with society? Of course everyone thinks they should get a job! And of course everyone wants a good job! Who doesn't? And of course you're going to whine if you find yourself with a masters degree in biology working in a retail store (just an example I read on Reddit today). He'd be complaining, too, if he hadn't been lucky enough to land his job, coaching, and was stuck cleaning toilets instead.

The world is not going to heck in a handbasket. Everyone under 30 isn't a spoiled, entitled snowflake. This kind of tedious wheezing about "kids these days" really gets old fast.

Yep spoken like a true participant.