Is anyone really this stupid?

[ilovepcot]

BRAIN CRAMPS

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
Miss America 1995 from Alabama Heather Whitestone

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Popular Pop Singer Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," (During an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.)
Model, movie and TV actress Brooke Shields

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
University of Kentucky Basketball Forward Winston Bennett

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
Washington DC Mayor Marion Barry

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a *******, and I'm just the one to do it,"
A congressional candidate in Texas

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
Philadelphia Phillies Manager Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
Vice President Al Gore

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
Vice President Al Gore

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
Vice President Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves, How much clean air do we need?"
Chrysler Chairman and CEO Lee Iacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
NFL Quarterback and Sports Analyst Joe Theisman

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
ROTC Instructor Colonel Gerald Wellman

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
Keppel Enderbery... .(who?)

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances. "
Greenville, South Carolina Department of Social Services

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
FCC Chairman Mark S. Fowler

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I don't know whether I should or at these people.

 

[mommasita]

At first I thought it was going to be all women.. Thank god I kept reading...

Nuts really..A La Jessica Simpson

 

[ducklite]

Oh. My. God.

That's just sad.

Anne

 

[apirateslifeforme]

"You should drive faster. That way, you don't have as far to go and you'll save gas."
- My mother, attempting to justify her lead foot

"We haven't been there since the last time we were there."
- My ex-DH

I swear I'm not making either of these up.

 

[Ciao Mickey]

Thanks for the .

 

[azgal81]

I remember seeing that before!

 

[Parla]

"You should drive faster. That way, you don't have as far to go and you'll save gas."
- My mother, attempting to justify her lead foot

"We haven't been there since the last time we were there."
- My ex-DH

I swear I'm not making either of these up.

These are especially great because you are a witness. I'm not sure how to prove the others happened without a video.

 

[marlasmom]

Back in the dark ages when I was writing copy for a radio station I wrote "A Head-On Collision Can Ruin Your Whole Day." People thought I was serious.