Is anyone Catholic?

[JJClemson]

I know the rules, for some crazy reason, the Catholic church will not let you marry at Disney My DF and I are both Catholic, and decided we must have a DFTW, and will get re-married in the Catholic church when we are ready to have children.

I heard somewhere that you can have a Reverend or Minister marry you at Disney, and then a Catholic priest will bless your marriage, and then you are married in the Catholic church. Has anyone else heard of this/ done this? My Catholic priest unfortunately would not do this, but I would like to find one who would, if this is all true.

Thanks for your help

Jen

 

[Boo0105]

I'm catholic too. What I am doing is getting married at the church on Saturday and then having my DFTW on Monday. So basically it is kind of a vow renewal at Disney. Reverand Jack will not be signing my marriage licence he will just be perfoming the ceremony. My priest also told us he could not marry us if we were married at Disney first, don't know why, I think it has something to do with signing the licence.

 

[sarah_n_brian2006]

definitely like she said. get with your priest, and parents, have a courthouse type wedding that the priest would approve of, and then have the DFTW. WDW will need a copy of the marriage license before you can start though to prove you are married.

 

[JJClemson]

Hmmm... so I'd need to be married before DFTW by the priest. I really want to be married for the first time at Disney! Why does the church have to make this so difficult

 

[p2oh]

We are both catholic and our priest has agreed to bless our union afterward if we go through all the steps required by the church, including pre-canna (sp?) classes and counseling sessions before the ceremony in WDW. I really think it is up to the individual priest. Also, we are very active in our church so that may help out the cause.

 

[JandJ]

I was raised Catholic, now kind of only-go-at-Christmas person, but I digress . . . the rules do change in the church, but I do know that my cousin was married by a minister in his parent's backyard years ago (like maybe 15 years ago) and then when they decided to have kids, about 10 years ago, they had a priest bless their marriage. They had a little ceremony, my parents and I went to it, and that was that - they are now married as Catholics because of that blessing, able to have the kids baptized, etc. Check with your priest if you want to be sure though!

Good luck

 

[JJClemson]

I already checked w/ the priest I grew up with, in NJ, and he would not bless a marriage outside the church. Even though my family is very active in the church and my mother has worked there for 15 years, he is just very traditional. I am not a fan of the church in my town now, in SC, and do not belong to the church. I guess I will try to find a priest around who will bless the wedding... if not, I will just wait a few years until we are ready to have children and do the small ceremony thing w/ the church.

Thanks for all your help!

Jen

 

[littleladykaty]

yeah, the Catholic church and I are in a fight right now...I feel like they are being very difficult for no reason whatsoever...it drives me batty seriously. It seems to me that the Catholic church is in no position to JUDGE anyone and I don't see how getting married at Disney hurts anyone's catholicism!!! I am getting married at a Vineyard and had initially wanted to have my priest do the ceremony...OH NO...of course not. I'm such a little sinner y'all and of course I need all the help I can get due to my blackened little soul and the beauty of vineyard is not holy enough for Father Flannigan! So I went and really sinned and found me non denominational Rev. Barry Hobbs off of the internet and Father Flannigan can go sit on a tack SO THERE!

My grandmother (who lives in Ireland) actually said (after I explained the issue) "Oh Mother Most Merciful, well we'll have to call the Pope then love, he'll have a lovely chat with this Father Flannigan and everything will be grand!" See Nana believes that because she is Irish which is where "real" catholics are from, that the Pope would OF COURSE speak with her as it is a matter of grave importance!

I'm feeling your pain babe...we'll get a blessing later if we have to, but seriously, I'll just bless myself and my family and be done with it! (grrr, obviously I'm still a little irked... )

 

[JJClemson]

Littleladykaty- You made me crack up! I am Irish Catholic too and both my Nanny and Grandma had similar things to say. I was told I was making my Pop roll over in his grave by not getting married in the church! It's nice to know someone else has to deal with this too

 

[IrishCinderella]

I'm with Katy! I was raised (Irish) Catholic, went to Catholic school, had all the sacraments, the whole nine yards! My father is MEGA Catholic, so he's not thrilled about the fact that we won't be "officially" married in the church until our blessing afterwards. But while I was researching this subject, I found an interesting lead...there's a faction of Catholics out there that are less strict about this whole issue. They are called "Old Catholics". They have all the same sacrements, mass, etc. but their priests can marry, and they can perform marriages outside of the church! I'm not entirely sure, but the Roman Catholic church may even recognize the marriage (really not sure about this). This was "not good enough" for my father, but it may help one of you.

http://www.saintthomasmorechurch.com/

This church is in the Orlando area, and the website explains a lot about their rules, etc.

Hope this helps someone!

 

[smoof]

I have not done this yet, but how I understand it, if you get married outside the church, either civil or by a minister of another faith, you can go back to your church and have your marriage blessed. It is the same as far as being accepted as married in the Catholic Church. I also saw there is an orgainization of men who have left the priesthood who will marry you, and basically just because you aren't a priest anymore doesn't mean you can't give the sacraments. Apparently it is a glitch in Cannon Law. Don't laugh, the organization is rentapriest. They have a website, and former priests in central Florida. If you are from the Orlando area, I don't know how well received either of these will go. That diocese is weird. If you are from outside the diocese they won't even let you get married in their churches.

 

[JJClemson]

Thanks Rebecca! I am checking out that website.. I am sure my family won't approve either

 

[Rustyflwr3]

I am with Rebecca and Katy - (as for being pretty annoyed with the issue!!!) I was raised all catholic; went through communion and confirmation..everything! My mother is a VERY hard core catholic and does not agree with a disney wedding. However, it is very important to us and we have to do what we have to do

 

[IrishCinderella]

Yeah, the whole thing is pretty frustrating. I remember last year when I was researching, the lady I spoke with at the Orlando Diocese was beyond rude. I guess that's the part that is the most frustrating. I don't mind being told no nicely...I just hate when they act all hoity-toity, like you are going to go to H-E-L-L just for asking the question! I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since I grew up heavily entrenched in the Catholic church.

Anyways, I just wish that they were a little more civil about this issue.

 

[littleladykaty]

My DF said that Father John from St. Aloysious in Caldwell NJ will marry anyone anywhere for any reason!! And you do know what he told me...oh my, he LIED to the church and said he was baptised when he actually WASN'T!!! (this was his first marriage...maybe that's why it failed...hmmm...well that or his wife was having an internet affair...it's a toss up... ) He was raised in a sort of Methodist home...but his mom was only 16 when she had him...so she's a sinner too...maybe that's why she and I get on so well!

Y'know I don't know why I bothered to be such a good Catholic girl all those years...suffering through Catholic girls school and UNIFORMS and doing the stations of the cross and even considering...don't laugh...being a NUN for a while...okay I was like 10 but still...I said DON'T LAUGH! The Catholic church wonders why so many people rebel and leave when they are adults and this is part of the reason why...Oh and can we talk about the cost of an annulment?! It can be as much as three years and $10,000 to get it done...are you KIDDING ME?! Ummm Extortion much? I bet if they just went and let all the priests get married the Catholic church would be a whole different and MUCH happier institution...(as I duck firebolts and everlasting dam *n*ation!!!

Can I just say that when I was little the nuns did a lesson about sins and purity...there were three bottles of milk...one was white, one had brown spots (which I suspect were chocolate chips) and one was completely brown...they represented your soul as pure...not so pure...and in mortal peril!!! Guess which milk bottle I preferred...the chocolate mortal peril one!!!

bless me father for I have sinned...and sinned and sinned...

I personally think y'all are FABULOUS people in no danger of mortal issue...so now everyone can go and do as they please...y'all been blessed!

 

[JJClemson]

My DF said that Father John from St. Aloysious in Caldwell NJ will marry anyone anywhere for any reason!!

Katy- I am checking into this man! I am in NJ now for a couple weeks visiting my family, but I am going to track him down... thanks for the info. I just want some Catholic priest to bless our marriage, I do not care who! You would think that wouldn't be so hard to do, but we all know better

Your Catholic stories are hysterical! You must be reading my mind. I'm sure all the nuns who have taught us, the goody-goody Catholic school girls, would never suspect us to get married outside the church. I think since the Catholic church had a really tough beginning, they like to keep making the lives of their parishioners more difficult!

Well fellow sinners, thanks for the advice! I think we're all awesome too, and the priests are just jealous they cannot marry, b/c I am sure they would have like a Disney wedding too

 

[Goobergal99]

I wasn't married at disney but listen to this Drama.

DH and I had my DD when I was a senior in HS (no secret around here) So anyways, we lived together for over 5 years before we finally got married last June. So, as soon as we were enagaged we started planning our wedding and in December of '04 I called my parish and requested the date and the woman held the date and asked me what day we wanted to come in for pre cana so we scheduled our pre cana class for March. She asked both our names and ADDRESS and I told her we had the same address and she said ok congratulations see you in March.

Now it is important to note before I continue that My grandfather was very active in the church and while he was alive he became good friends with one of the priests in our old parish and so after he passed on the priest and I continued to write and stay close. So I mentioned when I called that the priest would be officiating the service, again to problem he's a catholic priest yada yada.

So then March comes and Dh and I go for pre cana but before the actual class the pastor likes to meet the couple so as we are sitting there and divulge our story he realizes we live togther and tells us we can't marry in the church. So I kinda freaked, the sag came out in me and I went on with "Well you don't mind taking the tuition money for my DD to attend your school and you sure don't mind getting my envelope every week" yada yada and right before I went on with my feelings about the whole church sex scandal my DH got me out of there.

So at this point I am freaking out because I only have three months to go and no ceremony site, so I call my aunt who has been a IHM nun for like 30 years and I ask her what to do and in her normal liberal mood she says "call another church" So I call my old Parish and they were so super glad to accomodate me but they didn't have the date. And you see the date was really important to us because it was DH"s GM's birthday and she died of cancer and they were realy close so we wanted the date, not to mention the recpeption was paid in full. So finally I decide to just go with a civil ceremony but that left the ordeal of Father Ryan not marrying us. So I called him up explained the situation and he said that even though he couldn't marry us under catholic law out of a church. He suggested we write the ceremony make it all about us, have all the crazy music we could ever want and he would bless the cremony afterward and then marry us in a church at another time

So we ended up getting the best wedding officiant, having the cremony in the same room as the reception (they set it up beautifuly with an arch and all),and had the most unique wedding ever we even had a family rose ceremony where me, DH and DD each put a rose in a glass and it represented the official union of our family, it was sweet. (and we had a priest and a nun present LOL )

In addition DH's uncle got married a couple weeks later in the church and everyone said that it was more about the signifigance of religion then it was about the two of them getting married. Everyone was coming up to us saying your ceremony was so romantic and unique, that wedding was a bore lol!

So my point is, don't worry about getting married in the church, just have a beautiful ceremony because marriage is about the two of you spending the rest of your lives together, not about commitment to organized religion.

 

[littleladykaty]

Oh hunny...NEVER be honest with The OneTrue and Holy Roman Catholic Empire about LIVING TOGETHER!!! You gotta lie your **** off in situations like that!

My childhood priest wouldn't marry us based on the fact that we were "living in sin"...I asked him if we were just sleeping together and not living together would change things... he suggested I spend some time in reflection and prayer... I wanted to suggest he go to the dentist and see if he could do something about that breath...but my mom already had my arm and was dragging me out of the church! what? I was just ASKING...sheesh some people are SO TOUCHY! I had had it with the Holy Roman Catholic Empire by then...they had been giving me the run around for weeks and then to judge ME when I do believe it was Father Flannigan himself that had gotten into some trouble over missing money from the Parish Funds... whatevas...I seriously was the BEST little Catholic girl out there from start to finish...so no fun let me tell you...

I finally had to realize that the Church is the church and I am who I am and I'm NOT sorry about that so I'm certainly NOT going to go around begging for their blessing. I AM blessed...and I don't need some grouchy old poot headed priest to tell me so. Plus my Nana said that she would have Father O'Riley bless our marriage when we came to visit at Christmas SO and a

YAY US!! Wild Independent girls who will not be reigned in by an organization that truly needs to focus on it's own issues before they start pointing fingers! Y'all are blessed by St. Mickey Mouse and St. Walt Disney!!

 

[SyrCinderella]

I am truly disappointed at the Church's stance on this. For goodness sakes, this is DISNEY! Could there BE a company that prides itself more on their vales and encoragement of the family? No one is asking them to bless a marriage which took place in a coven of witches.

We have been very active in our church, DD was a soloist a couple of years back at the National Catholic Youth conference, but I think its great she wants to be married at Disney. Too bad the Church has to be so persnickety about this, in the end its their loss.

 

[ducklite]

DH and I were openly living together when we got married in the Catholic Church. When we asked about Pre-cana, our priest said "Do you want to go?" and we said "Not really." He said "OK, don't worry about it."

Not all RC churches and priests are alike.

Anne