Inviting yourself to a wedding rude?

[katerkat]

Originally posted by Lewski709
A message, as in a PRIVATE MESSAGE? Are we talking about a certain someone that you have NEVER met? OMG, that is RUDE!

How do you know he's never met this person? Just because he said he sent a "message"? (Not necessarily a PM...) Even if it was a PM, how does that mean he's never met the person? I PM one of my friends, who I've met several times, about the Disneyland trip we're taking next fall. It's just a convinient way to communicate since we're both on the website. Heck, I've even PMed my father on the DIS, and I'm pretty sure I've met him!

 

[MelessaG]

I would never invite myself, per se, but I traveled abroad for 18 mos. post-college and came back just in time for the wedding of a good friend's mother. Had she known when I would be back, she would have sent the invitation and was thrilled I got the information in time to make it. Otherwise no, I would never show up uninvited.

 

[cadburysmom]

Originally posted by katerkat
How do you know he's never met this person? Just because he said he sent a "message"? (Not necessarily a PM...) Even if it was a PM, how does that mean he's never met the person? I PM one of my friends, who I've met several times, about the Disneyland trip we're taking next fall. It's just a convinient way to communicate since we're both on the website. Heck, I've even PMed my father on the DIS, and I'm pretty sure I've met him!

The poster knows both people in question from another thread and knows that they've never met in person. She was just pointing out that fact. She was in no way implying that you can't send a Private Message to someone you've never met. Everyone on the DISboards does it and you're right, it is a very convenient way to communicate

 

[Keli]

You know, I got a feeling about half way through this thread that it was personal. I wish I had realized that earlier and I wouldn't have posted on it. I hate getting involved when it's more than just an innocent question. I usually just observe those threads.

 

[katerkat]

Originally posted by cadburysmom
Lewski709 knows both people in question from another thread and knows that they've never met in person. She was just pointing out that fact. She was in no way implying that you can't send a Private Message to someone you've never met. Everyone on the DISboards does it and you're right, it is a very convenient way to communicate

Ah, I get it now! I missed the certain someone, versus the just plain old someone.

 

[cadburysmom]

Originally posted by Keli
You know, I got a feeling about half way through this thread that it was personal. I wish I had realized that earlier and I wouldn't have posted on it. I hate getting involved when it's more than just an innocent question. I usually just observe those threads.

It really was just an innocent question and a very general one at that. It was others who made it personal. A lot of my friends have had to deal with this issue and I wanted to see what others on the DIS thought.

Case in point: Just last month, I was having lunch with a friend who was newly engaged and sporting a big sparkly diamond ring. An aquaintance walked by and commented on the ring and said "Oh, I hope you're inviting me to the wedding!" My friend got all flustered and said "Of course you are!" Please know my friend is one of the nicest people in the whole world and would never knowingly hurt anyone's feelings. After the aquaintance left, my friend turned to me and said how she didn't see any way of gracefully getting out of it and is now concerned that she also has to invite a lot of other people to a wedding she could barely afford in the first place. And when I read about someone on these threads doing the same thing, I decided to start a thread and get everyone's opinion.

Stories like this happen all the time and I basically wanted to know how others on the DISboards felt. So please don't be sorry for posting on this thread. I really do appreciate your comments.

 

[llebrekniT]

Originally posted by cadburysmom
Stories like this happen all the time and I basically wanted to know how others on the DISboards felt. So please don't be sorry for posting on this thread. I really do appreciate your comments.

You're right. Whether it's a wedding, birthday party or whatever, it does happen all the time. I don't get it. I've had it happen to me with parties. You invite one child and they ask if it would be OK if their 3 brothers/sisters came too. It can be a real problem when you are dealing with numbers. It's just wrong. I don't see any way of excusing it. It's wrong.

 

[gina2000]

I have to say that one of the most touching moments of my wedding was seeing my friend's mom at the ceremony. She was uninvited (I hadn't seen her in years) but wanted me to know she was thinking of me on a most special day. She wasn't dressed to attend a reception but was quietly attired for church. She was seated in the back of the church. She hugged me and handed me a small gift after the Mass.

I wouldn't consider that situation rude under any circumstances. I considered it a most respectful way for an old friend to honor me. I've never forgotten it.

 

[ohanafamily]

[COLOR=FF0033]cadburysmom[/COLOR], first of all, I want to apologize for taking this personally. I think it had already taken that tone before I was pointed to this question, and I am sure you can see how it could be taken as such. Also, Your friend need not invite the person who asked; If we had invited all of the people to our wedding who would have asked, we would have had over 1000 people.

If it makes you happy, I will admit to being rude, terribly rude. I will also admit to passing gas in front of my wife, Eating Pizza and Fried Chicken with my hands, and even voting for Bush. I am being caught up in Venusian semantics, and being a male am hard put to understand. For the record, The person in question does not think I was rude, he is a male also.

katerkat & Keli, Please do not feel like you walked into a family squabble. Most of the time I agree with a lot of what the OP says, and also a lot of what the others say. Again, if I turned this personal I apologize. I hope you continue to grant us your insight.

As far as I am concerned, this issue is a dead horse and there is no sense beating it anymore.

 

[Lewski709]

Originally, I had NO idea that this thread was anything other than a general question.

Later, by additional postings, I surmised that this was all related to something from another thread when I put the two together.

 

[cadburysmom]

Originally posted by ohanafamily
[COLOR=FF0033]cadburysmom[/COLOR], first of all, I want to apologize for taking this personally. I think it had already taken that tone before I was pointed to this question, and I am sure you can see how it could be taken as such. Also, Your friend need not invite the person who asked; If we had invited all of the people to our wedding who would have asked, we would have had over 1000 people.

As far as I am concerned, this issue is a dead horse and there is no sense beating it anymore.

You seem to think this thread is all about you when it is not. This question was not directed at you as I purposely did not post this as a QOTD on the other thread in order to get a general opinion from other DISer's. In fact, after exchanging PM's with you, I thought our discussion about your particular situation had ended. Inviting oneself to any private function is a major pet peeve of mine and I only wanted to see how the DISboard in general felt about the topic, NOT specifically your situation. If anyone is beating a dead horse, it is you. But thank you for your input anyway

And to others who are reading this, I'd like to thank you for your posts as everyone's opinion is important and whether or not you agree with me, I appreciate your contribution to this thread

 

[Bichon Barb]

Dang! Am I late for the party again? I hate it when that happens!

Sheesh, Opinion Woman, the Voice of Reason, was here to get on her podium, but I guess the parties have given their final summations.