Invisible Disabilities

[diseyore]

I have been reading some of the posts and I am shocked at how people can view others disabilites. I just need to sound off.

My daughter has a disability (we have a plackard) and should really use a wheelchair at the parks, however until she turned 18 she was not able to rent an ECV. Since I have back and neck injuries I couldn't push her. We would walk the parks but can't spend the day most people do. She still does not use a EVC because stitting the whole time makes her stiff. Because of this we were issued a GAC. Seeing this beautiful young girl makes you think she is a cheater. (I only wish!) People are always yelling at us that we are cheaters. It is so hurtful. I would love to be a speaker and tell every one what it is really like to live this type of a life.

Cast member have either been great or down right RUDE. At Christmas we went to the parks for a few hours and suddenly she felt very week and ill. We left and went to the monarail. They asked us to move all the way down. We showed them the GAC one cast member said that was good. Then the older CM came along and told us that wasn't any good. Then he said "You look perfectly heathly to me, What's your problem!" "I hate fakers, people just think we are stupid, well we aren't". He just kept on harrassing us. It was horrible. Needless to say we reported him, but he still works there.

Please, next time you think someone is a cheater, think again. Just because they look OK does not mean they are. I have spent many a night in tears over my daughters condition, I don't need others judging and making matters even worse.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[MidgeD79]

My dd (26) had many unseen disabilities and was very tired with frequent headaches. Her husband of 10 months (23) couldn't deal with it and frequently left her at home with her (not his) kids ages 9 & 2. She died of a brain anyeurism 4/29/06 and I wanted to tell everyone "told you so !"......Her husband is overwhelmed with guilt and I won't do anything to make him feel better. You know your daughter best - Love her and share life's experiences with her.

 

[tarkus]

At this point I have learned to live with the comments or looks, I don't care anymore.

I'm an incomplete para who can walk, sort of for short distances so when I'm feeling good I park with the AB's. When I need a device a still try to avoid the Handicapped spots. I don't know why.

I will say it did take a "learning curve" when I was first injured.
I learned that all Handicap Parking is not the same, some say Van Accessible.

I know that may seem obvious to many but I never noticed. Now I understand.

On days when I just want to poke some or get a reaction I wear this:

The looks then turn to questions.

Be Big,
Alan

 

[tarkus]

I have been reading some of the posts and I am shocked at how people can view others disabilites. I just need to sound off.

My daughter has a disability (we have a plackard) and should really use a wheelchair at the parks, however until she turned 18 she was not able to rent an ECV. Since I have back and neck injuries I couldn't push her. We would walk the parks but can't spend the day most people do. She still does not use a EVC because stitting the whole time makes her stiff. Because of this we were issued a GAC. Seeing this beautiful young girl makes you think she is a cheater. (I only wish!) People are always yelling at us that we are cheaters. It is so hurtful. I would love to be a speaker and tell every one what it is really like to live this type of a life.

Cast member have either been great or down right RUDE. At Christmas we went to the parks for a few hours and suddenly she felt very week and ill. We left and went to the monarail. They asked us to move all the way down. We showed them the GAC one cast member said that was good. Then the older CM came along and told us that wasn't any good. Then he said "You look perfectly heathly to me, What's your problem!" "I hate fakers, people just think we are stupid, well we aren't". He just kept on harrassing us. It was horrible. Needless to say we reported him, but he still works there.

Please, next time you think someone is a cheater, think again. Just because they look OK does not mean they are. I have spent many a night in tears over my daughters condition, I don't need others judging and making matters even worse.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Beyond unacceptable, PERIOD.

That person needs to be removed from Disneys employment.

Be Big,
Alan

 

[Charleyann]

My DS has cystic fibrosis amd juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. He doesn't look sick, but spends at least 6 admissions to hospital in a year! He can't walk long distances and needs to use a wheelchair for endurance purposes, pain and fatique.
We get the looks of hate, when we use GAC and DS walks out of his wheelchair!

People will never get it until they walk in our shoes....and that ain't easy!


Charleyann

 

[Cheshire Figment]

I think that at least on this forum you are "preaching to the choir".

And, Diseyore, I wish I would have been around during that incident. I would have known how to handle the CM and probably gotten him fired on the spot.

 

[Haley Whippet]

I am another one that looks healthy, But uses a ECV, I just don't care what people say or think. I have found though that if you talk to them they "get it"
Educate them one at a time People can learn all disabilities are not visible.
Deb

 

[OneLittleSpark]

Nobody should have to put up with the unkind behaviour and nasty looks described here, especially not from Cast Members . I've never really encountered any unkind CMs but then I suppose when they're bad my problems aren't really invisible, as I'm either in a rental chair or doing my Igor limp. But at least these meanies are in the minority and the majority of CMs are wonderful, kind and helpful people

 

[bzzymom]

I think there a lot of nosy people out there who are curious and want to know. It should've been handled better by the CM.

 

[SandraC]

My dd is 13 years old. She has complex congenital heart defects, liver and spleen disease & PLE. She has had 3 heart operations. All invisible. However, I have never heard anyone calling us out on it. I am a very spiritual person and ask God to protect us. Prehaps that's the reason we never get "looks" or "comments". We are polite users of the GAC. We never play victim to the circumstances. We live and let live. I am sharing our personal experiences because there are people out there who care about invisible illness. Please remember....they might also have invisible illness....everyone has a story and it's likely invisible if they feel the need to use anything other than kindness. Be kind to them. They will do better when they know better. Blessings, Sandra

 

[KathyRN137]

Just adding another voice to the rest of your friends here on the disabilities board. My autistic DS(8) looks like a regular kid and we have used the GAC for four family trips to WDW. It is a godsend for him, for the family, and also for the other guests who would otherwise be subjected to his noisy and sometimes disruptive behavior while waiting in line!!

I was shocked to read of your experience with that rude CM...very un-Disney...and he should have been reprimanded. Hopefully he was; and re-educated as well. Seems he has a disability of his own: ignorance.

One of the reasons that WDW is so popular with people who have disabilities is that the CMs are usually so helpful and accommodating. Don't let one bad apple spoil it for you and your daughter!

As some of us say in New Jersey, "Fugghetabouttit!"

Kathy

 

[avander3]

We have 3 kids (9, 7 and 6) and our youngest is non-verbal autistic. He looks like any normal kid (except for the meltdowns and very tired parents). We don't know what to expect...(as usal) with our trip in Oct.. This is our first real vacation as a family and our first trip to disney. We are hoping it goes ok and that we get a guest services pass for him. Do we just find someone and ask or can we arrange something before we leave?

Any thoughts or advise is welcomed.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Hi and to disABILTIES!

If you click on where it says "disABILTIES" at the top of this page it will take you to the Index. The fifth item down is the "disABILTIES FAQ" which will gives lots of useful information.

One of the itmes discussed is the Guest Assistance Card. That's the best place to look. Then ask specific questions and we'll be more than happy to provide additional information.

 

[diseyore]

I appreciate all the support. Somedays it is just so difficult. My daughter repeated this to her friend and now has a great come back. I someone say "you don't look disabled" say " well I thought you looked intelligent, but I guess we both were wrong". Makes me laugh. Being a parent we become like a mother bear when someone wrongs our children.

 

[RayJay]

My dd is 13 years old. She has complex congenital heart defects, liver and spleen disease & PLE. She has had 3 heart operations. All invisible. However, I have never heard anyone calling us out on it. I am a very spiritual person and ask God to protect us. Prehaps that's the reason we never get "looks" or "comments". We are polite users of the GAC. We never play victim to the circumstances. We live and let live. I am sharing our personal experiences because there are people out there who care about invisible illness. Please remember....they might also have invisible illness....everyone has a story and it's likely invisible if they feel the need to use anything other than kindness. Be kind to them. They will do better when they know better. Blessings, Sandra

Yep, this is my DD 9 years old, you would never know she has had 3 surgeries, while I don't consider her disabled she definately needs a stroller or wheelchair for her to get around during long walks at Disney, especially in the heat.

Sorry, but what is a GAC?

RayJay

 

[LisaBi]

Love the "I thought you were intelligent" comment! On one trip someone actually tried to say they were in our party heading into TT! (I usually go with just me and DS, and use a wheelchair and sometimes a GAC for him.)

Lisa

 

[Haley Whippet]

If someone says "you don't look disabled" Say "Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Deb

 

[OneLittleSpark]

My daughter repeated this to her friend and now has a great come back. I someone say "you don't look disabled" say " well I thought you looked intelligent, but I guess we both were wrong".

I love it!

Sorry, but what is a GAC?
RayJay

A GAC is a Guest Assistance Card. There's information on it in the FAQ near the top of this board: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=595713
(6th post). They're designed to give people with an invisible disability a helping hand to make Disney doable (and fun )

 

[Poohnatic]

Being a parent we become like a mother bear when someone wrongs our children.

Amen, sister! I've been tempted to buy Neil a "This is what autism looks like" t-shirt from NAAR, but DH says that it's not Neil's fault that others are stupid. I go ballistic at the hurtful comments when they're directed at my son. If it's at me, I can handle it better.

Deb, like your "Thank You"! My issue waxes and wanes-right now, I'm in a bad way. Yeah, to look at me, you don't see the problem, unless I'm wearing capris or shorts. I had someone say to me that it can't be too bad, because I work. I don't know where that logic comes in, I work so I pay for my home, lol.

Suzanne

 

[steffali]

My dd (26) had many unseen disabilities and was very tired with frequent headaches. Her husband of 10 months (23) couldn't deal with it and frequently left her at home with her (not his) kids ages 9 & 2. She died of a brain anyeurism 4/29/06 and I wanted to tell everyone "told you so !"......Her husband is overwhelmed with guilt and I won't do anything to make him feel better. You know your daughter best - Love her and share life's experiences with her.

I just wanted to give you a big There is no greater love then a mothers love. I am sorry for your loss.