Intimate wedding w/ dinner or lunch only (no reception at all)?

[LeesyUD]

Hello, I have posted on this board several times before but my wedding plans have changed several times. When it comes down to it my fiance and I have just gotten ourselves into such a financial bind in recent years so we want to have a special wedding but nothing expensive.

I think we have made the decision to do an intimate Disney wedding with just our parents and about 8 very close friends. However, I have some reservations, but not sure if they are enough to not have the Disney wedding. I could really use some opinions from Disney and non Disney brides.

Here is what we would be doing for an intimate Disney wedding:
1. Escape Package
2. Hopefully Misty Miotto for photographer
3. 2 Disney characters for cake cutting (hopefully, I really want that)
4. Dinner or lunch at a Disney resort restaurant for everyone

I figured that this stuff would probably cost us about $7000- $8000 plus dress, tux, official, hair, makeup, etc.

My question is for Disney brides that have done the escape wedding without any reception at Disney or home, did you regret not having a real reception or having more people there? I think I would be ok with this but just have some reservations.

Also for anyone that might be able to help from their experience, do you think that it would be possible to do an inexpensive at home ceremony and reception anywhere close to this? We have looked at photographers in our area and the good ones are like $3000 dollars alone and photography is very important to me. After adding in renting a fire hall, catering, limos, ceremony site and all the other things I feel like we could still do something relatively inexpensive compared to the more expensive wedding venues in our area, however I am not sure we could do it anywhere near what the intimate wedding would be in Disney. Now I know sometimes people mention the fact that you get more gifts having a bigger wedding and that makes up for some of the cost, but is it really worth it?

I guess I am just trying to figure out if we should do the intimate Disney wedding which I know we can afford and would be less hassle and would still be special to us, or should I hold out to be able to have a decent reception and have more people? As a side note I think I like the though of having a full reception so I can do the fun reception planning stuff and have the feeling of a "party celebration" after, rather than wanting to do it to be able to include certain people. Any advice from former brides on the things I have mentioned? Also any ideas I may not have thought of for inexpensive weddings but still special? (We do not want to do one in Mexico, DR, etc.)

Thanks!

 

[hiwaygal]

When I got married it was very small.

We were legally married on a Friday evening here at home at a local magistrates office. My parents and my brother and SIL were there. DH's parents passed away many years ago and he has no family locally.

Our "real" ceremony was four days later at Sea Breeze Point in Disney. There were no guests...just us. All of my family would have had to travel for a wedding at home and the Disney wedding was something my DH had brought up not long after we first met. So we went for it!

I don't have any regrets about the lack of guests. I sent out announcements afterwards so that my family could share in my happiness but I didn't expect or want (or need) any gifts.

Our wedding was very intimate and private and just what we wanted. I didn't have to worry about people getting anywhere on time or being able to afford a trip.

I'm sorry I can't help you with the reception at home part...again, our families live out of state so we didn't do anything like that either. Maybe we would have if our family was close. But there are several other brides here who have done at home receptions and they can help you out with that.

Good luck with your decision. I think if you follow your heart, you won't have any regrets!

 

[tinkandonaldfans]

well my and my boyfriend are most likely going to have to pay for our wedding! being the youngest in both our families means that all the wedding budgets have been rinsed dry

we plan on doing a disney wedding as it is very special to us as this is where we went on our first holiday and is also one of our favourite holidays. Plus a wedding in the UK is very expensive just adding the word wedding to anything and they jack up the price to an crazy amount. We thought by getting married abroad it would make it really memorable and special and also make it alot more affordable.

We will only be having close family attending so it makes about 15 of us (including me and boyfriend) and because we are quite samll we thought we would skip the traditional reception and have a nice lunch followed by a dinner.

Now I orginally wanted a sea breeze point wedding but since i would be adding an outside photographer and probably upgrading the cake and adding more flowers i thought it really wouldn't be worth while. so now we have decided to go with a Swan wedding to cut the price down. by doing this we hope that we can add a few more special things for our guests by maybe having characters come and join us and maybe doing a wishes cruise or something!

i don't want a big wedding just to get presents- the way i see it is that i don't want to have to pay for dinners for people who i really don't want to be there.

now when we get home i thought of maybe having a bbq/buffet thing at my sister's house and invite those who couldn't be at the wedding. just something simple

hope that helps

 

[purplegirl247]

We had an intimate wedding with only 16 people total (including us). Only our family was there, no friends or co-workers as guests (our closest friends served as the officiant and videographer). Bigger weddings/receptions were more trouble than they were worth for me personally: (a) I didn't want to end up looking at the pictures twenty years from now and trying to remember who everyone was (b) we frankly didn't have the money for a bigger affair and (c) I didn't want to spend the whole reception "mingling" and not having time to spend with the people I cared about the most.

Some of our friends were disappointed that they couldn't be there, but we showed everyone the pictures and the video, and it all worked out.

Go with what feels right to you though!

 

[Beep]

I can give you my experience - the other way!

We are having an Escape wedding with 11 people (including us) followed by lunch, time in Epcot then dinner at Le Cellier.

I got married 15 years ago with all and sundry there and would never, ever do it again. I had people at my wedding that I didn't really know as we had to invite her if we invited him and also his mom, and my 2nd cousin once removed blah blah blah.

This time we both have the people there that we want (well, we have one person we don't want but have no choice as she is my SIL) and no plans for a reception back home.

We have invited our photographer to have lunch with us as a guest and some people find it a bit strange that we invite the photographer but not the 2nd cousin once removed etc but **** to everyone!

We can't wait to have our Escape wedding and you know, even if I won the lottery and had millions I wouldn't change it

 

[Tink_Kel]

We are having our version of an intimate wedding (me, df & 2 sons), and then when we get home, we are going to have an Open House for all our close friends (both of our families live out-of-state). It's not about the presents, but the celebration! We'll probably have wedding cake, and BBQ. (hey, I live in Redneck Country!)

 

[JandJ]

We had a very small Intimate (Escape) wedding almost 3 years ago and no, I don't regret a thing! We had only 8 guests plus my MOH and it was perfect

DH was married previously and had the big "traditional" wedding and didn't want that again, and I never wanted that. But, I wanted to get married at Disney! We had a $10k budget (we're adults, living on our own, we weren't going to ask our parents to pay for our wedding). I did the whole wedding (everything - my gown (my parents did pay for half of my gown), DH's attire, MOH's attire, floral, tips, food, travel costs, announcements, scrapbook, etc.), plus our honeymoon at Disney, and our cruise honeymoon for under $7k.

We had planned an at-home reception, but the planning and cost of it was making me physically ill. Then my mom passed unexpectedly so we canceled the reception. Like Purplegirl said, I didn't want my 2nd cousin or the mother of so-and-so that we had to invite, at my wedding or at my reception so I really wasn't looking forward to it (although we had booked a spectacular hall and had an amazing caterer). I also am not the type who likes to be in the spotlight so a big wedding and reception would have driven me crazy.

 

[Xiarra]

We too had a intimate wedding (now called Escape Wedding) back in 2004.

We didn't regret it at all...

We STILL talk about it and remember it and so doesn't the family.

Actually, I had one sister that had the BIG tradidtional wedding, one that had a lesser traditional wedding and then mine.... we only had our immediate family at the wedding .. and you know what... the families are STILL talking about our wedding and how nice it was and how much they enjoyed it.

They never talked about the other weddings after they were over... but they still talk about ours!!!!!

We had the ceremony in the morning and then we did a dinner at Fulton's that night in a private room....

It was the best time we had and we love to reminisce about it. I pull my wedding album out at least twice a year... I don't know of many others that acutally look at their albums after the first year.....

I keep joking with my husband that I want to get a divorce so we can do it all over again!!!!

 

[farjojo]

I can give you my experience - the other way!

We are having an Escape wedding with 11 people (including us) followed by lunch, time in Epcot then dinner at Le Cellier.

I got married 15 years ago with all and sundry there and would never, ever do it again. I had people at my wedding that I didn't really know as we had to invite her if we invited him and also his mom, and my 2nd cousin once removed blah blah blah.

This time we both have the people there that we want (well, we have one person we don't want but have no choice as she is my SIL) and no plans for a reception back home.

We have invited our photographer to have lunch with us as a guest and some people find it a bit strange that we invite the photographer but not the 2nd cousin once removed etc but **** to everyone!

We can't wait to have our Escape wedding and you know, even if I won the lottery and had millions I wouldn't change it

I can 2nd that!!

I had a huge wedding when I got married in 1997. Never ever again!! There was 100 people there in the day and 200 in total for the evening reception, totally manic!

I don't remember that much of the wedding and party afterwards as I felt obligated to mingle constantly....It was so difficult to make sure that nobody was feeling neglected.

This time around...I know it will be perfect!

There will be approx 10-12 people at our escape wedding, including ourselves and we wouldn't have it any other way. I know many brides have a reception when they get back home but we are not bothering. As far as I am concerned, my darling H2B will be there (hopefully!! ), our 3babies....oh and my mum!! They are the only people I am bothered about.

Also, our 2 furry babies (A.K.A our cats! ) will be going on their holidays to a cattery for 3 weeks whilst we are away and that will cost as much as a 'at home' reception!!

 

[Raenstoirm]

We are getting married in the Valley of Fire (Nevada) in a few days (check my ticker). We have told the important people (close friends, parents etc), but have invited no one. We are calling it the mini honeymoon since we are taking a Disneymoon in 2009. The event, limo, photos and album, videographer and flowers are running $1000. Hair and Makeup is around $100, plus the dress and tux. And we are using credit card points for the hotel and flight so they are free (minus all the annoying fees.) So we figure $2000 for the entire trip with shows, meals, gambling and such.
We plan on throwing a big party (not reception) at some point in 2009 to celebrate. That way, we don't stress about the wedding and planning (too much) before the big day and can actually have fun at the party and not have to mingle. Our Disneymoon is in April, so we will probably plan it around then. Although we are considering doing a vow renewal next September with our best friends who will be celebrating their 12th anniversary next month (so 13th during the party). they did a JOP thing (they were in college at the time) and never really celebrated either. That would be ideal and so much fun, like it should be!

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

I keep joking with my husband that I want to get a divorce so we can do it all over again!!!!

 

[rumrunnergirl]

We are in our 40's and have lived together 10 years (getting married on our 11th anniversary) and have 2 kids. For *me*, my wedding is for us and our kids and those closest to us, not everyone we know having to come watch us tie the knot.

We are going to host a small beer/wine/cheese party in our room or by the pool area on Thursday night if we get close to the 20 people cap. If not, I think we may do a welcome dinner at 'Ohana and use my DDE card for 20% off. The wedding is at 10 a.m. on Friday, and we'll have lunch at Whispering Canyon Cafe and use my DDE card. After that, everyone is on their own.
We are only inviting our parents and I'll invite one cousin and a couple aunts. I am not doing at at-home reception - all the planning and expense for the Escape wedding/honeymoon is enough for me.

Do not count on more guests = more money gifts. The economy is tanking and many people will look to alternative gifts.

Figure out what is important to YOU. It is your wedding and it's all about you and your fiance. Cut back to 1 Disney character and have a morning wedding so you can have a buffet lunch for $25 PP instead of a dinner at $65PP. Don't put yourself into a further financial bind. You state:

I am just trying to figure out if we should do the intimate Disney wedding which I know we can afford and would be less hassle and would still be special to us,

and I think you answered your own question there.

 

[hannah_montana]

I'm getting married at Sea Breeze Point in November as part of the Escape Package. When we got engaged we knew straight away we would get married at Disney, even though that would mean that some important family members (such as grandparents) wouldn't be able to come. At first I did feel a bit guilty that my Grandma wouldn't be able to see her first granddaughter getting married but I guess no matter what you do, you will never please everyone!!
We also had loads of ideas of extras we wanted, like a dessert party the night before and a sit down meal at the California Grill after the ceremony. I was also really keen on the idea of paying to have our pictures taken in the park. Turns out we are not doing any of that and i'm actually really glad we have decided not to! My fiance pointed out that we have our parents there to take nice pics of us in the park, we can just wear some nice outfits and will have to be patient in waiting for people not to walk in front of the camera! Our reception is going to be at Hard Rock Cafe, as that is more 'our style' than a posh restaurant (and way cheaper too!)
All the money we saved on not doing any of the extras has allowed for us to book a honeymoon on the Disney Cruise, which I think will be well worth it as it will give us much better memories than what we ate at the reception!

 

[XmasPixie]

We are doing an intimate ceremony at the Swan in December. We are not even having a lunch or dinner afterwards - I still think that is funny. To explain, the wedding is a surprise. We are vacationing with some of our family and we'd been tossing around the idea of a Disney wedding for some time. We started thinking about planning it for next year and then thought - why wait? Let's just do it when we go down this year - whoever comes will be our guests. Well, we don't want to take away a big chunk of anyone's day (unexpectedly) with a wedding, so we are going to do the ceremony at 2pm and then have a dessert party later in the evening at Epcot. It will be simple, different and memorable. We are also saving a ton of money doing it this way.

We do plan on having a party at home probably in March. We've done no official planning yet. But we want a party - a very casual party. We figure we'll get a VFW type hall, have someone come in and deliver a spread of food that we can serve buffet style, get a DJ and dance dance dance. We'll put out some pictures and maybe balloons and fun things - no caterers, no fancy centerpieces and flowers. We just want something fun and a chance to include the rest of our loved ones that will not be with us when we Disneylope. We aren't looking for presents - just an excuse to party

Do what you like!!

 

[LeesyUD]

Thank you so much for all the great responses!! You have made me feel much more comfortable about my decision to do such an intimate wedding and also without alot of extras. If I can I may spring on one thing - either having two Disney Characters come to the cake cutting, or the wedding potrait session in the Magic Kingdom. I would have to do one though, I cant afford both. But thank you so much again!!!!!!!!!!

 

[WishingMom]

MY DF and I are also thinking about a Disney Wedding. We too are also planning a surprise ceremony. We'll be travelling to WDW with my DD (10) and his Aunt and Uncle and their DS (8). We have to decide if we want to get married at WDW or on the DCL as we are doing the Land and Sea vacation. I was married before, and also had the lavish ceremony with all the "trimmings" and all members of my family present. DF and I both want something very small and this seems to be the perfect opportunity to do this. The only person I'd really want there is my DD and DF loves the idea to do it while we're vacationing. Neither one of us want to have a reception or dance, but we do want the ceremony, complete with the dress and tux, pictures and cake cutting. Now all we have to do is decide where we'll have the ceremony. Any opinions???