Interesting problem-sabotage?

[Raenstoirm]

My fiancé and I have been together for a very long time, when we started dating I was a size 16 nearly an 18. Then I became seriously ill and dropped a ton of weight. After I went into remission, my weight skyrocketed again to roughly where I am now, size 12/14. I have become acutely aware recently of sabotage on his part. Last night for example, I was supposed to go to Pilates class. It was a really nice day out, so he suggested I skip class and we spend the evening together. We ended up going to golf range and hitting a few balls, so not all that bad, but nowhere near the calories I would have burned during my class. Then while watching TV last night, he went into the kitchen to get himself dessert. I had already had my dessert (before dinner for whatever reason yesterday) and I was content not eating anything. He asked me if I wanted a “special treat”. I replied with “no thank you I am at my calorie mark for the day”, in fact I was 20 calories over my mark, but close enough. Few minutes later, he came out with his treat and a cup of ice cream for me! I LOVE ice cream and I have no willpower, so when he handed it to me I “had” to eat it. It was only a serving or so, but still he knows I can’t resist and I had already said no thank you. I joked that he likes fat girls and that he will do anything to keep me that way, and we sort of laughed it off.

I don’t think he is doing it intentionally, but he is a sabotore. What do I do?

 

[wiskband]

That is so interesting! Nyh ubby has never complained or made a comment about my weight ever and when I dropped weight a while back he seemed supportive and then once people started commenting on how good I looked (his friends as well) he became a little devilish! It's a good thing you are noticing this thats for sure and perhaps you just need to be alittle more stern. I consider myself to have no will power as well! Around my friends is the worst they KNOW my goals and what I am trying to do and still they insist! Anyway, again, I would have to say being stern and really putting on there on the table and saying OUT LOUD no, I can't! I find that once you say it out loud you tend to follow! good luck!
renee

 

[PaulaSue]

I am glad I am not the only one but for me it is my mom. I swear she is trying to do it to me and my girls now that I lost weight. Before I lost the weight she would comment on the girls getting heavier and now she is feeding them (one last night) 2 different desserts after supper. I love her dearly but I am trying to prevent my girls from going through a life of being fat like I did.

 

[melissalee1220]

Its all true!! Others are out to sabatoge!! Our husbands fear us looking too good and our family/friends fear us looking better than they do.

If you have family or friends who have weight to lose, your weight loss will make them feel bad about themselves (because they aren't losing their weight) so they'll try to ruin it. I really first noticed this in the corporate/desk job environment. Those not on a diet brought in crap for the office knowing half of the office was trying to eat healthier/lose weight. I think that we just need to stay strong and do what we know is right.

Hey and if your man likes a heavier girl and you dont want to be a "heavier" girl then he needs to 1) back off and let you be who you WANT to be or 2) go find himself a heavier gal!! ON a serious note, have a talk w/ him and explain how important this is to you. He NEEDS to understand and respect your choice. On that same note, you too need to respect your choice and say NO to that ice cream. You can do it!!

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

Definitely consult with him. Ask him why is he doing this? Maybe he really does not understand how important this is to you. Give him your work out schedule or plans early and let him know he can come along or you can both do the other activities after your w/o. You are permitted to go to get in those steps or workout without him. Ask him to be your biggest supporter. Expect that of him.

I know this is easier said than done...

Look in the mirror and with conviction tell yourself you can do it and you are worth it.

Be strong. Do not give anyone permission to overpower you.

 

[Haley]

One time I was running on my treadmill and my mother brought me cake and fed it to me while I was running