inspiried by teenage DD getting pregnant.

[Dznypal]

my friend (we're been friends since high school)has her hands more then full with her 2 kids actually one is 20 now but shes always been a hand full

her DD had a baby when she was 17 her and the father stayed together until the baby was one then they broke up.

She got another BF and got pregnant by him--they broke up when she was 3 months PG--she decided to have an abortation.

my friend actaually gave her the money for the abortation!!

I hate to say it but how can a grandma give her DD money for an abortion

I felt so bad I guess since my sister and BIL cant have kids they adopted 3 great kids from Asia. My new niece just arrived from Korea in Nov she will be one at the end of the month!! and is just adorable The 2 boys are from Vietnam they are 10 and 7 now and have been here since they were 9 and 6 months!

So now to make matters even worse is that she is back with BF #2 and PG by him again!!!

My friend is really upset now!!! Her husband doenst even know!!

She always comes to me to talk and I never know what to tell her so I'm just there to listen. Once in awhile I come up with some advice.


Thanks for listening--I just needed to vent.

I just feel so bad for my friend for what shes going through and the poor baby that never had a chance in life and for any couple that cant have kids on their own that would have loved to have had that baby that was sent back!!

 

[goofygirl]

First of all, did your friend or DD ever hear of birth control? That is the part that make me annoyed: carelessness.

The abortion does not upset me. And abortion has nothing to do with couples who can't have kids. I hear anti-abortion people who are infertile throw this card out all the time. They say, "How can you abort when I can't have kids?"

Well, guess what- its not all about you. Its about me, my body, my life, my God and my personal decision. And don't even try to tell me that I should feel grateful that I can have a baby. Do you want me telling you that you should be glad you are infertile?

yeah...I didn't think so....

 

[Dznypal]

that my friend said her DD was on 2 different kinds of BC-both didnt work three times

I guess it just upsets me that there are couples out there that cant have kids and heres my friends DD that only works enough so she doesnt loose her state aid and she basically threw a baby away and now shes in the same sitution as a few months ago.

its just a bad sitution

 

[ozarkmom]

I don't buy the bc crap! If she were on the pill or the shot this wouldn't be happening. Granted with the pill it's important to take your pill every day and try to take at the same time each day. Maybe it's time to have this dd's tubes tied. I know this sounds harsh but good grief one mistake but 2more?

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I hate to say it but how can a grandma give her DD money for an abortion

The same way I'd give her money to go to the dentist. It's a medical procedure, and parents usually pay for those for their minor children, unless they are trying to prevent the child from having the procedure.

Oh, and I'm one of those infertile folks that benefited from someone else's choice to carry her unplanned pregnancy to term and place the baby for adoption. But like someone said, it's not about me. It's her body, her right to do with it as she sees fit. I'm happy my dd will know her birthmom freely chose to give her life, and wasn't forced to do so, especially not for my benefit.

 

[sajetto]

I don't buy the bc crap! If she were on the pill or the shot this wouldn't be happening. Granted with the pill it's important to take your pill every day and try to take at the same time each day. Maybe it's time to have this dd's tubes tied. I know this sounds harsh but good grief one mistake but 2more?

Sorry, but I completely agree. I think the friend is giving you a load of bull about the bc

 

[Alice's Mom]

An accidental pregnancy once, sure it happens, but 3 times now, no...she is irresponsible plain and simple.

What you described is that she had an abortion with the 2nd boyfriend because they broke up, not because she felt a financial burden or had no familial support. I am pro-choice and I think that abortion is the right decision for some, but it sounds like she is using abortion as birth control.

I feel terrible for your friend, sounds like her daughter doesn't understand what it means to be an adult. Is she responsible in every other aspect of her life? I'm willing to bet she isn't.

 

[AllyandJack]

I'm pro-choice....infertility, IVF, miscarriage and all. However, I don't agree with using abortion as a form of birth control. That seems to be what's happening. People make mistakes and health problems arise, but to get pregnant over and over again....it's just irresponsible and stupid. I get more annoyed that irresponsible/stupid people can reproduce so easily and I can't - whether they keep the baby or not.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I just feel so bad for my friend for what shes going through and the poor baby that never had a chance in life and for any couple that cant have kids on their own that would have loved to have had that baby that was sent back!!

There are thousands of American children waiting to be adopted. What's stopping a couple that can't have kids on their own from adopting one of them?

 

[Dznypal]

no shes not responsible at all---

shes had several run ins with the police--driving with no license--possession of drugs with intend to sell--she spend 2 nites in jail for this one until a friends dad bailed her out.

not finishin high school until she had the baby and was told she would loose state aid if she didnt finish HS so now she has her GED--

Im a pharmacy tech so I know BC is something like 95% effective so I know either shes handing my friend a bunch of crap or shes not following through like she should

and as far as grandma paying for the abortion her DD is of legal age now so its not like her paying for dental or eye dr.

I guess I just have a problem with grandma saying heres the money--go kill your baby and my grandbaby!!!


If she asks me for advice this time I'll tell she (DD) has 2 choices--have the baby and put it up for adoption as soon as its born--
or give her the money for the abortion but make her get "fixed" or no money!!

as far as its my body I'll do what I want--think of the poor baby that has no say


sorry for the preaching but I have a problem using abortion as BC and for a grandma to pay for it!!

thanks for listening

 

[lil mermaid]

I'm pro-choice....infertility, IVF, miscarriage and all. However, I don't agree with using abortion as a form of birth control. That seems to be what's happening. People make mistakes and health problems arise, but to get pregnant over and over again....it's just irresponsible and stupid. I get more annoyed that irresponsible/stupid people can reproduce so easily and I can't - whether they keep the baby or not.

Excellent post, and I agree with you completely.

to you.

 

[Alice's Mom]

no shes not responsible at all---

shes had several run ins with the police--driving with no license--possession of drugs with intend to sell--she spend 2 nites in jail for this one until a friends dad bailed her out.

not finishin high school until she had the baby and was told she would loose state aid if she didnt finish HS so now she has her GED--

Im a pharmacy tech so I know BC is something like 95% effective so I know either shes handing my friend a bunch of crap or shes not following through like she should

and as far as grandma paying for the abortion her DD is of legal age now so its not like her paying for dental or eye dr.

I guess I just have a problem with grandma saying heres the money--go kill your baby and my grandbaby!!!


If she asks me for advice this time I'll tell she (DD) has 2 choices--have the baby and put it up for adoption as soon as its born--
or give her the money for the abortion but make her get "fixed" or no money!!

as far as its my body I'll do what I want--think of the poor baby that has no say


sorry for the preaching but I have a problem using abortion as BC and for a grandma to pay for it!!

thanks for listening

I can't imagine your friend gave her daughter money for an abortion with ease. At the rate her daughter is going she is probably raising the one grandchild she has now and might now have another to raise another depending on what her daughter does with this new pregnancy. I bet she deals with a lot of heartache and says to herself "What did I do wrong"

This is just a sad story all around. There are so many young girls out there not respecting their bodies and themselves.

 

[Stacerita]

I can't imagine your friend gave her daughter money for an abortion with ease. At the rate her daughter is going she is probably raising the one grandchild she has now and might now have another to raise another depending on what her daughter does with this new pregnancy. I bet she deals with a lot of heartache and says to herself "What did I do wrong"

This is just a sad story all around. There are so many young girls out there not respecting their bodies and themselves.

ITA. Very irresponsible girl. I feel for this mother who has to deal with this. And I dont see how she cant be asking herself where she went wrong. And it probably wasn't anything she did. Some kids are just like that. They just go off and its a stuggle to bring them back. Her giving her DD the money is probably what she thought was best at the time. Her DD is making some really bad choices and who knows what kind of mom she really is. So maybe giving her the money was the best thing for all at the time. Who are we to judge that. I do agree that abortion shouldn't be used as birth control though.

And as far as people saying she should have had the baby so she can give it up for adoption because some people cant have children on their own, its selfish. Pregnancy and childbirth are very difficult for some women. There are a lot of things that can go wrong for the mother, and there is always the possiblity of complications that can arise. The worst of which can be death for the mom. Now, if they didnt plan to get preggo in the first place, and they aren't the most responsible or the type that doesn't taken other peoples cares into consideration, why would you assume that they would want to take on that risk for someone else? And saying that they should is selfish.

 

[RadioNate]

 

[poohandwendy]

As much as I would not pay for an abortion and I share your frustration with people who are so careless, I would also not judge anyone else for doing what they think is the right decision for themselves.

I can only hope she has learned something and is using birth control now.

 

[tiggersmom2]

As much as I would not pay for an abortion and I share your frustration with people who are so careless, I would also not judge anyone else for doing what they think is the right decision for themselves.

I can only hope she has learned something and is using birth control now.

Me too...could never condone or pay for an abortion within my OWN family but would never judge anyone else who chose that.

 

[kejoda]

All 3 of my boys were conceived while using bc. Got pg every time I planned a disney trip. I'm convinced my dh thought it was cheaper to have a baby than it was to have me in Disney (course this was before the dis)

oh it was 3 different bc too. Sponge, diaphram, and condoms. Guess we were meant to have these boys. Thank God they are wonderful (98% of the time)