Inspired by the Manny thread: is winning everything?

[Pea-n-Me]

Or, is it how you play the game?

How do you teach your kids who play sports? Which is it?

Maybe it's different for professional sports vs children's sports?

Would like to hear your opinions.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Teach them to love the game first, then when they get old enough, teach them that in sports, there's winners and losers.

When it comes to professional sports, yes, for the most part, winning is everything. It doesn't mean you play dirty or cheat, but otherwise, win.

 

[debster812]

Teach them to love the game first, then when they get old enough, teach them that in sports, there's winners and losers.

When it comes to professional sports, yes, for the most part, winning is everything. It doesn't mean you play dirty or cheat, but otherwise, win.

I'm going to just ditto everything that Bob said here.

 

[Robinrs]

Winning is something to always strive for but if you don't win, learn something from it. In everything, NEVER be a spoil sport because it speaks volumes about your character.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

In everything, NEVER be a spoil sport because it speaks volumes about your character.

How do you define a spoil sport?

 

[The Mayor]

Teach them to love the game first, then when they get old enough, teach them that in sports, there's winners and losers.

When it comes to professional sports, yes, for the most part, winning is everything. It doesn't mean you play dirty or cheat, but otherwise, win.

Nicely put...I've seen over the years too many youth coaches with that win at all cost attitude and in the end they end up driving more kids away from the sport...youth coaches are supposed to be teachers of the game...teach them the sport correctly and the winning will come automatically...winning only becomes important at the higher levels when coaches/players are being paid to perform.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Let's hear from some coaches!! And more parents.

How do you teach good sportsmanship? Further, what is good sportsmanship?

 

[debster812]

Let's hear from some coaches!! And more parents.

How do you teach good sportsmanship? Further, what is good sportsmanship?

Sport Parent here. DS is a soccer junkie. He's 9, been playing since he was 5, and plays 3 seasons. Outdoors in the Fall and Spring, and indoor over the winter. The indoor game is very different from outdoor, very fast, higher scoring, and pretty rough. Some of the games can get brutal, think hockey, without skates.

DS is on the small side, but he's quick. He takes a lot of heavy hits into the boards. This past Sunday he got SLAMMED into the corner, and it took him a moment to compose himself. He was getting up, and the kid that hit him, held out his hand to help him up. VERY nice gesture. But after the game, this boy came over to us, with his parents, and apologized. Said he was watching where his other winger was, and never saw DS get to the ball, and he really did not mean to hit him, at all, let alone that hard. This was a TEN YEAR old boy.

His parents and coaches are doing something right. He's a great player, and a nice kid, which is always a good combination.

 

[Aidensmom]

My son is very competitive by nature, and what we try to teach him that the most important thing is not winning, it is trying your best and having fun.

I think it is a lot easier to teach this concept in individual sports than in team sports, at least for my child. What I mean is that in a team sport like soccer, one team wins, one team loses, so it is harder to feel like you did a good job if you did not win. However, in an individual sport like running, only one person wins a race, but hundreds don't, so even if you didn't win, most likely you still did better than someone else, and you can see your accomplishment better.

In professional sports, I would say that winning has a much greater meaning than in children's sports, but there are still some well-payed players out there on losing teams.

 

[The Mayor]

Let's hear from some coaches!! And more parents.

How do you teach good sportsmanship? Further, what is good sportsmanship?

I've either played/coached/reffereed hockey for the past 47 years (I'm 52) and still refferee youth and high school hockey...coaches teach sportsmanship by example...I have observed over the years that if a coach yells and screams during a game then his players tend to whine and complain also...if a coach is on the bench actually "coaching" then the players feed of that and just play the game...it is so easy to spot a well coached team versus a team where the coach has no clue...the ones without a clue are usually the ones doing all the yelling and screaming.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

DS is on the small side, but he's quick. He takes a lot of heavy hits into the boards. This past Sunday he got SLAMMED into the corner, and it took him a moment to compose himself. He was getting up, and the kid that hit him, held out his hand to help him up. VERY nice gesture. But after the game, this boy came over to us, with his parents, and apologized. Said he was watching where his other winger was, and never saw DS get to the ball, and he really did not mean to hit him, at all, let alone that hard. This was a TEN YEAR old boy.

His parents and coaches are doing something right. He's a great player, and a nice kid, which is always a good combination.

Nice to see! This is in part what I'm talking about.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Let me see if I can explain what makes me think about this issue.

I have a 9yo boy who's passionate about baseball, the Red Sox in particular. I was the same way when I was his age, but my idols were guys like Fred Lynn, Jim Rice, Dwight Evans, Carl Yazstremski and Carlton Fisk.

First, DS was lucky enough to watch the Sox win it all in '04. Then, Damon leaves to go to the Yankees - of all teams. Why? Money. The first time this has ever happened in baseball (or any other sport for that matter)? No. But it was my son's first huge disappointment and moment.

DS loves sports and plays baseball, soccer and basketball. Along with how to play, he's learning about things like sportsmanship, as well as - at his age - lessons about life and responsibility in general.

He asks - why is it ok for Manny to act like he does (show up when he feels like it; whines about going elsewhere, etc)? Manny's behavior is pretty well accepted by everyone. Why? Because he wins games. (Luckily, he's a pretty lovable guy. )

But is that what it's all about? Really? These are guys that our kids are looking up to, modeling themselves after. Should we be concerned? "Yup, do whatever you want, when you want to do it, don't worry about what the rest of the team is doing - it doesn't matter as long as you win. Oh, and BTW, don't try these things unless you're the star athlete because if you're not you'll be held to a different standard."

As it stands, we can shrug off some of Manny's quirky behavior because he does win games, but in the meantime I prefer to play up guys like David Ortiz and Jason Varitek as better role models. They show up and work hard every day without the BS, despite the fact they're getting paid a lot less than Manny. And they win games, too.

I dunno, call me whatever you want, but I still believe in "it's how you play the game".

That's where I'm coming from (steps off soapbox and makes sure flame suit is zippered, LOL). Maybe it's just me.

 

[debster812]

Pean-n-Me, I think you're on the right track, the only thing I'll say in Manny's defense, is that he truly is a GIANT goofball. Really. I've had a couple of chance encounters with him while volunteering at various Red Sox/Jimmy Fund events at Fenway, and he literally is a 10 year old boy in an adult body, from what I can see. I also don't think there is a malicious bone in his body, he just isn't all that into all the other stuff. He likes to go out, hit the tar out of the ball, and that's that.

We play up Jason Varitek and Big Papi in our house too.

 

[cardaway]

IMO this is another version of the idea that centers around the idea that thse guys should be role models. Far from it IMO. I don't like that certain guys follow the money, but I can't really say I blame them or would force them to do otherwise.

As for winning, I would much rather have a team that is angry and wants to win than a bunch of guys only in it for the money.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I think that's a different topic altogether, honestly.

What you're talking about is role models and players that kids look up to, not necessarily the game itself.

I think when it comes to talking about individual players, once kids are old enough to understand, you should teach them that certain players (in all sports) often get treated differently because they're "superstars". Is it right? No, of course not, but it's the unfortunate reality of sports in general. And it's not just with professional sports either.

Personally, when it comes to having your children look up to a certain player, I would always encourage a child to look for a player who plays the game like it should be played -- practice hard, good team player, always trying your best, etc (all those cliches ). That may or may not be the superstar player.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

It's really not one extreme or the other, but a combination. As young children, it's important to be taught the basic skills, good sportsmanship, etc. As the kids get older it gets more competitive. There's nothing wrong with that as long as they are still still working hard and smart.

I have 4 children and my younger two are very competitive. My 13yo plays select baseball and is a very good baseball player. We do not pressure him to always win, always get a hit, always make the catch, etc. We do want him to try his best and we know that he will make mistakes. We also expect that he will give his all at practices. My 7yo is so over the top competitive that I will need to learn how to handle that as he gets older. It's great to have a "drive", but to a child like that their brain tells them that winning is everything and he most certainly didn't get that from us.

Cal Ripken, Jr has written a couple good books on coaching youth sports and my DH has gone to a coaching clinic. Great perspective about youth athletics and what the priorities should be!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

What you're talking about is role models and players that kids look up to, not necessarily the game itself.

I see them as inter-related.

I agree about role models. There are many others besides sportsfigures or celebrities, including - perhaps especially - those in our everyday lives.

But I think that, like it or not, these are the people our kids are looking up to and learning from, despite our best efforts to show otherwise.

Don't even get me started on the types of conversations I'm having with DD9 and role models for girls.

Maybe OT (and possibly a bad example ), but I recall an interview a while back with Britney Spears. She was asked about her behavior and whether she feels a responsibility to the many young girls of today who see her as a role model. Britney said absolutely not, she has enough pressure in her life than to have to worry about being a role model to anyone.

And CNN has recently been featuring a series on hip hop music and how it's affecting young girls; young women of color in particular.

Maybe we should start a role models thread.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

We also expect that he will give his all at practices.

So how would you reconcile this if your son followed a favorite player who feels he doesn't have to show up for practice?

 

[Bob Slydell]

But I think that, like it or not, these are the people our kids are looking up to and learning from, despite our best efforts to show otherwise.

Looking up to athletes and admiring the way they play their sport, IMO, is fine. The problem comes when kids look to them for how they live as well. Role models for life in general should almost never be athletes, celebrities, etc.

 

[Robinrs]

How do you define a spoil sport?

http://www.wordwebonline.com/en/SPOILSPORT