Inspired by Joe-

[Serena]

Do any of you know any good websites/books to help with finances and debt control?
I know it would be good information for anyone with a problem and for anyone that wants to prevent problems.

Practical ways to keep control of the paperwork. What are some of the things you do?

How do you deal with credit cards?

If you have a spouse or S/O, do you communicate about money and what goes where? What do you do when you disagree?


When my h was here and especially now, I've been in total control of it all. My h only complained at christmas time about what was spent. He stopped complaining when I told him to take over the shopping, and I'd complain over it instead.
He balanced the checkbook once a year and that was it, and as long as nothing was ever late, he didn't care. We never talked about it. I agree that was not the way to go, but that was just the tip of the iceburg with us.

How about you?

 

[RNMOM]

Serena, just thought I would give you my sage advice from 25 years of marriage.

When we first married DH did the paperwork. He did not like to pay bills early and hence we had some late ones. He also had many individual store and gas credit cards. I took it over and have always done the bills, checkbook and taxes. Actually, we do the taxes together. I have him look over things periodically and I send him into the bank to do the deposits or transfers. Most of our banking is done with direct deposit. He always has some idea of the situation and has only to ask or take a look at the checkbook.

Now, with my guidance , we have only one card we use. For the past 8 years I have been using only my Chase Visa. I get miles for travel on it. We have earned about 12 flights over the years. We do have a back up card incase of theft that we never use. I subract my charged items in my check register and then go over the statement at the end of the month. If money is not available for purchases, we don't make them.

Now. I am a firm believer in meshing the money into one account and paying with OUR money. I have many friends/ coworkers who handle things separately and there are often disagreements with spouses. JMHO. We have some separate investment money from jobs but all the other is joint.

If I want to purchase anything of substancial value, I just let him know. I don't have to ask permission, just a heads up. Same for him. Tonight I wanted to get a robe on line and just told him. I would do it no matter what he said as I need it but we just do this as a courtesy.

I don't particularly like to shop so I do a lot on line. I have never felt I had to hide anything from my DH and have never discovered any surprises. So, I guess I feel if you can't mesh your finances in a marriage, why? I just don't get that.

 

[swea_pea1]

DH and I have been married for 6 years. When we first got married, we quickly found out that our monthly income didn't pay the monthly bills. The credit card bills were out of control and it looked hopeless. We started paying the minimum payment on most of the cards and every penny left over went towards the card with the highest interest rate. When that one was paid off, we moved to the next one. After four years, we got totally out of credit card debt and we've never gone back. We use one card (the rest are in my lingerie drawer for emergencies) and we pay it off each month. We keep it at a very low limit, one that we are comfortable paying off each month and when the credit company raises it, I call and get it lowered again. I'm never embarrassed if I get declined for going over my limit...I'm used to it and just take it as a sign that I've purchased too much this month.

I'm repeating advice I gave to Joe, but DH and I always are open and honest about what we spend and we ask questions when needed. I'm in control of the finances, but it's not above DH to ask me to show him the bank book or to ask if I bought something new. Usually I tell him, but if I forget, I don't mind him asking and I give him the information willingly.

We do have a "threshhold" for when we ask permission to spend rather than just letting the other know. It's gotten higher over the years, but basically, I'm not allowed to redo the kitchen without asking him and he's not allowed to buy a new car without asking me. Those types of decisions are made jointly. If we disagree, we work on a compromise we can both live with (maybe just buy paint the kitchen and get new fixtures or buy a used car this time around).

Suze Orman has GREAT advice for financial planning. One of the things she says is that you need to have the courage to be rich. If you look around your house and you've got lots of "things" instead of money in the bank, then you don't have the courage to be rich. I loved that theory and it really struck home with me...when DH and I were first married, we had a lot of things, and no money. We got the courage real fast and stopped buying until we knew we had money in the bank. We're still far from rich, but at least now I feel like we're in control.

DH and I also never balance our checkbook but since we kind of have a set spending limit each month through our credit card system, it works for us. Most of our bills are paid online and we only use cash in very rare instances. When the balance gets high, we move some to savings. We take advantage of every tax break we can get....we both contribute 10% to our 401(k) and we use the dependent care account through work to pay for daycare. I get a bonus every year that we use for big things...last year we got our new furnace, the year before that we used it for a down-payment on our house.

For us, it's all about open, honest communication and a lot of self-control.

 

[mudnuri]

alrighty, I'll jump in since we do stuff totally different. DH and I do not use debit cards or checks. We use the check book for bills, thats it. We do not have a debit card. We each have 2 credit cards, (they're the same)...1 we use for fuel, diesel for him, gas for me, in our rigs. The other we use for purchases that we've pre-planned. Like, say- a vacation, etc... If we go to wal-mart, we use cash. I have NEVER written a check for any store. EVER....We direct deposit DH's check, which is used for monthly bills, and then my check is used for daily living, groceries, kids clothes, repairs etc.... My check is split 50/50, 50 of it comes home, 50 % of it goes into an account for unexpected expenses. DH owns his own business, so a lot of our expenses are through that, (car payments etc.)......We both do the checkbook, just whoever gets the mail the day the statement comes in, that person does the reconcilation in quicken. Then on the 15th and 30th, someone writes out the checks. There's only about 7-8 each month, nothing major.

Now- big purchases...lets see, I bought my Grand Am, called DH at work on my way home and told him what I bought. He knew I was car shopping, but didn't know what I was getting (neither did I)......DH bought his truck, I knew he was trading in his old one, but I didnt know what he was getting...I found out when he came home. I guess to us, it really doesnt matter, as the payments the same as it always has been, nothing changed, cept the length of the loan. (we dont keep cars over 3 years so we never dont have a payment)....

If DH wanted to go buy say a new $300 tool, he'd probably just go do it, without 'askin' me. ( hate the way that sounds!)...and I guess if I wanted to go out and spend $300 at the mall on clothes, I wouldnt 'ask' either...just the way we are. Since we both do the books, we both know how much money is needed, and when we are able to spend more etc...

I have a BIL whose wife, (they're seperated) ran though 60K in 1 year.......can't say what she bought, cause I dont know, but I'm sure QVC's stock dropped when he found out.

Brandy

 

[Pin Wizard]

Well I'm the wrong one to ask on this subject. A couple years ago I reached a point where I just couldn't look at the bills any longer. It's been tough since then. Since dh passed away 11 years ago, I've been doing ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING alone ever since. I'm tired of it and see no end in sight. I would love to just hand someone my checkbook and say...here...pay everything!

 

[geffric]

IMHO it isn't who handles the finances but how THE COUPLE works together to solve issues. Before we were married, i had built a checkbook program that fed a tax and investment program ( ok So i am a geek) and monitored my finances weekly..DH never balanced a checkbook ...

However, we both have the same fiscal conservatism and are in balance with our spending/saving policy. I don't need his permissiion to spend money neither does he need mine but we inculde each other in the decison because we are a team and use joint funds. we consider each other opionin. Neither one of us would spend or invest in anything with out the " checking in" with the other..