Inspired by Goofyluver's Inheritance Thread

[Buckalew11]

When my father passed away, I received a fairly substantial inheritance. My wife was rather insistent that it be kept in my name only which to this point it has. We're going on eleven years. I understand if I die, she'll get it anyway. She has always maintained that it was my dad's money and therefore it's my money. Understand, WE have used the proceeds and some of the principal to pay off OUR mortgage and buy a vacation home in OUR name, so in many ways it's a moot point. Those assets have shifted to joint ownership. I have often asked her to sit down and talk about what the money is doing, investment wise and otherwise, and she really wants no part of it. I am grateful for her attitude in this, not that I foresee ever structuring things differently than they are currently, but that I feel she wants me to know that her love was never based on what I might someday have. I think each situation is different. Her parents' will names only her and her sister. That's fine with me.

I didn't inherit anything when my dad passed but when his mom passed I inherited a little money. This was also our approach.
My mom's will names only my sisters and I. His mom's names me also.

This can be a really tough issue, I think. DH and I share our money in one big pot (well, not that big, LOL). We've never done the separate accounts type of thing. However, I have been more possessive of this money than I expected. I used it mostly for retirement accounts because I have never had a 401K type thing. I view it as "our" money and if I die, he gets it all anyway. But at the same time, I view it Nana and Pop-Pop's money and I need to take really good care of it because they were so frugal and saved it so carefully. DH has been very understanding about the issue with me. He has been much less possessive with money than I have.

 

[RNMOM]

DH inhereted money when his mother died. We handled it like we do all our moneys. It went into savings and we discussed what we felt was important. DH has chronic pain from a whiplash from being hit head on years ago so I wanted to get our house in order so he wouldn't have a lot of work on it. We roofed, sided and replaced windows. He took some money and "lost" most of it on the stock market which is fine, it was his. We took a great WDW vacation as well.

Would I have done differently? Maybe. Perhaps we should have paid off the mortgage as well. Live and learn.

In our 30 yr marriage, money has rarely been the cause of disharmony.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

His is his and mine is mine.

I say it a little differently, What's mine is mine, what's his is mine.

 

[djm99]

My husband would be lucky if I even told him that I received an inheritance.

 

[missj1975]

I believe if you buy a lottery ticket and win, by law he is entitled to half. Again I think it is, but I am not 100% sure.

It really depends on the laws of each state but I believe most states would views the prize as a joint prize and a husband would be entitled to half. I do remember a particular case where a wife won the lotto, didn't tell her husband, quickly divorced him and then claimed the prize. When the husband found out, he took her to court and the judge awarded all of the prize money to the husband. Yep, Judges really can do whatever they want within the law.

 

[DL55]

My DH and I are having this conversation . He discovered that an unknown relative has died without a will. Once they find all possible relatives (at 60 and still counting) and sell the house (HA ) he should has a small amount of money. I've already told him that it is his money and he can decide what he wants to do with it. Of course I have confidence in his money handling. I did tell him if he puts it in our joint account it becomes fair game. I will give my 2 cents worth anyway.

 

[SC Minnie]

We have only had to deal with this twice. DH inherited some money from an uncle- he didn't even know he would be named in the will. DH didn't even tell me about it until he had the papers for me to sign for the DVC points he bought with it.

DH inherited some money from his mother/father also. He decided to take some of the money and pay off some bills and we saved the rest.

It was totally his money but the whole family (the 3 of us) are benefiting. I don't really expect any inheritance but if I did get something it would be used for something for the family- bills/vacation/house/savings for retirement etc.

 

[RachelEllen]

I don't think there's one right answer to this question. I received a large insurance settlement after my father was killed, and my mother has been passing along the maximum "gift" amount to our family each year to minimize the tax consequences of his estate.

I used the first settlement to pay off debt I had accumulated before I got married and to pay down our mortgage. The rest, as it comes in, is going into the college funds of both our child and his child (my step-son). It works for us, as it started us off with a firm committment to joint finances and an equal financial committment to both children, but it may not work for everyone.

 

[DVC Kathy]

My mother's will only listed me and my three brothers, none of the spouses.

It seemed perfectly natural to me, as did putting my inheritance in cds in both DH's and my names.

I did insist that DH buy himself a really nice digital camera, and consider it a present from Mom, who loved him very much.

I wouldn't list spouses. You never know what will happen in relationships.

Kathy

 

[SpecialK]

I received fairly substantial inheritances from an aunt and uncle as well as from my parents. The money remains in my name only as my husband want no part in it. I also handle all of the family's finances so I guess it's a natural fit.

 

[EMom]

I'm co-mingling it the second he gets the check. I've had to endure his mother for decades and I've EARNED that money.

Seriously, we share all the money. We'll invest the bulk in some account in both our names, buy prepaid tuition for DD or perhaps pay extra on the house. Definitely a trip.

 

[Kae]

I think it is a timing thing also. DH grandmother died in november of 2000 & my grandmother died in Jan 2001. we got money from his grandmother in the summer paid off some bills. that winter got money from my grandmother & decided hey you know I want a new car & I hate car payments-now I needed a new car & didn't go overboard. and also 7 yrs later still driving my car. Still love my car too.
But in both cases neither spouse was in the will.
Kae

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Keep them coming! I have very conflicted ideas on this personally (and DH's are even more so so all your opinions are helpful.

So if I buy a lottery ticket, does that mean I get to keep it all, or would he get his HALF (like Eddie Murphy used to say so famously!)?

PrincessSuzanne, I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from! Maybe our DHs are long lost relatives?!?

Thanks everyone!
Terri

Terri, they may be. He learned early on who would handle the money and who wears the so called pants in our house, only problem with that is if something happens to me, he couldn't take care of himself and that worries me. I am going to fix that soon, since my mom's death was so unexpected, you never know what can happen and I don't ant to leave him unprepared.

When my grandmother passed away, she didn't list spouses, because you don't know what can happen over time. Also she, she didn't list grandchildren either, except for 2 of the granddaughters, myself and one other female cousin were left bedroom suites. I think she believed her children would share their inheritance and or leave some to their children. my mom was quite generous with hers, but some was left when she passed away just over a month after receiving her inheritance. I was glad, because with all the expenses, we needed it to live off of for awhile.

Dh and I don't have children, but my cousin's children might as well be ours, and I am going to see that they receive something. The oldest at 10 has already asked that she be left our house, and I was so touched, that at that young age, she felt as strongly about the family home as I did and I want to make sure she gets what should be hers. Of course if Dh is still around she will let him stay there, that is just how we are.

I also want to make sure Dh's family doesn't get their hands on my familys belongings, his mother would be happy to sell my things and profit off of them. I know that is bad to say, butif you knew my MIL, you would agree. She would sell her own children if she thought she could get something for them.

Suzanne

 

[Goofyzgurl]

dh and I share our finances so if either one of us received an inheritance or lump sum, we would both decide on what to do. For us there's no difference how we got the money, it would both be ours. Now my friend's husband got an inheritance from his parents and he bought shoes, motorcycles, trailer for the motorcycles, basically he did whatever he wanted with the money. I didn't think that was fair.