Inspired by emsip...

[dianeschlicht]

Emsip's thread about the freeloading SIL and FBIL got me to thinking what folks do when they invite others. How much detail do you go into when you invite guests to share your DVC accommodations?

For us, it depends on the guests. Some folks we know it isn't an issue, but for others, we need to get pretty detailed about what expenses THEY are expected to have. I usually explain that transportation, tickets and most of their food are their responsibility unless I have decided to treat them to a few of those things. I then go into detail about what expected food and ticket costs are. I usually tell them breakfasts are on us in the villa, but often they help pay for groceries too. We usually treat guests who are infrequent WDW visitors or newbies to a nice restaurant on us too. The usual scenario is that guests also pay for one of our dinners out too. Last October, we had 12 in a GV...all of them from one extended family (but not ours). We had invited this extended family of friends because we had treated them all to their first WDW/DVC/GV trip 5 years ago, and wanted to repeat it while their grandkids were all still in school. The grandparents took us out for a nice meal on them in thanks. In that case, I would not have expected it, but it was still a nice show of appreciation. We all like to be appreciated for offering our DVC accommodations to others to share. It's the ones who "expect" it that I can't handle.

So what do all of you do? How detailed do you get? Do you go so far as to include menus of the restaurants etc?

 

[vascubaguy]

One thing I learned from planning our family trip earlier this year is that you can't please everyone (and shouldn't try). What I did was narrow down choices to just a few. So when we looked at resorts to stay at, we were looking at a couple of value resorts and one moderate, so the choice was Pop, ASmo or POR. I gave no options for the tickets or dining plan. Based on the prices everyone decided a value resort would be best to fit everyones budget, so I selected ASmo.

As for ADR's, well I narrowed those down as well. I selected about 10 or so and then emailed the list along with menus to everyone. No one really checked them out except for one and she said they all sounded good. So, I just selected the ones we were going to eat at, and when, and called to make the ADR's. I booked the dinner ADR's for everyone and then told them that if anyone wanted to change that's fine, but they'd need to select their locations and make their own ADRs and just let me know.

I then sent everyone a list of which parks we'd be visiting each day and told them where the restaurants were located and the ADR times. I also advised that they'd need to alot about 3-40 minutes commute time if they weren't near the restaurant. Everyone pretty much went where they wanted, did their thing, and we all met up for dinner - worked out great for us!

For the next trip... I'm not really as flexible. I gave them one resort option (BWV) and told them that I'd be getting an AP. I then told them that they could buy their own tickets thru disneyworld.com. I haven't scheduled any meals yet because we are still a long way out, but I already have a few in mind that we'll be doing. *Since we aren't going to be on the dining plan, we won't be eating as much - or gaining as much weight hopefully!*

So... that's what I do. I just try to avoid as much stress as possible, and luckily my family is pretty easy going. Except my SIL, she's a pain sometimes. If they give me difficulties I just tell them where we are going and when, and if they want to meet us there they can make their own arrangements and we'll see them there.

 

[bobbiwoz]

I have found people "tune out" when I try to make explanations of what a trip to WDW means. Often our friends/relatives sort of ignore my 6 month out notes, and then about 2-3 weeks away say, "Will you send me the info again, I seem to have misplaced it."

For my galfriends trip, I did some planning, mentioned some tours, (some of us are doing Sea Epcot tour), bought MNSSHP tickets in advance, and mention the places we can get discounts . I don't intend to pay for any breakfasts or groceries for the group, but I will have a car and will pick stuff up, the others are using ME.

My latest story is from a friend who finally bought park tickets for our upcoming trip. She bought 7 day hoppers and will put on non-expiration when we get there. When I told her that that's probably a good idea because I imagine in her life she would want to go again, and she said that she's hoping that someday I will call her and say, "Hey I have a room, do you want to come!" She says she'll have the tickets and will be happy to do so! This is just after DH mentioned that he hopes I stop "giving points away."

Our GG turned out very well from a "sharing expenses" point of view. We had 1-2 common times together every day, and people actually worked with me when they got the tentative schedule to sign up to treat all to something.

I know when our grandchildren and families come, we'll pay for the WDW experience. However, we will expect them to pay for the airfare or their travel expenses if they drive. I would feel put upon to be paying for those expenses as well. Maybe I'll feel differently in the future. It will be coming out of their inheritance and we will be there to enjoy the fun. Do other grandparents pay for it ALL?

Bobbi

 

[MdmMim]

We usually just say, "We're going to Disney, and if you'd like to join us, your room is on us." That way they know upfront what their expenses will be.

BTW, we make this offer only to those we know won't take advantage of the situation. We're very careful with the people we invite to stay with us on points. (We're very protective of our points, as I was burned once by a "friend." It won't happen again.)

We do set aside a yearly allotment for DS and DD to use, with restrictions (5 days per year; studio; Sun-Thu only; no major holidays, etc.) All expenses are their responsibility.

This December, we're taking 12 family members to BWV and BCV. We sent out invitations, stating the "rooms were on us." I have been following up with park ticket prices, announcing when specific airlines were offering Dec. flights, given them towncar phone numbers, and next month I'm sending out restaurant info. When MVMCP tix went on sale, I gave them the ticket prices, the date DH and I were going (for anyone interested), and the number to call.

We are treating all to a few dinners in restaurants, and DD and I are cooking in the villa one night--this was announced in the invitation. This seems to be working for us.

 

[vascubaguy]

We usually just say, "We're going to Disney, and if you'd like to join us, your room is on us." That way they know upfront what their expenses will be.

BTW, we make this offer only to those we know won't take advantage of the situation. We're very careful with the people we invite to stay with us on points. (We're very protective of our points, as I was burned once by a "friend." It won't happen again.)

We do set aside a yearly allotment for DS and DD to use, with restrictions (5 days per year; studio; Sun-Thu only; no major holidays, etc.) All expenses are their responsibility.

This December, we're taking 12 family members to BWV and BCV. We sent out invitations, stating the "rooms were on us." I have been following up with park ticket prices, announcing when specific airlines were offering Dec. flights, given them towncar phone numbers, and next month I'm sending out restaurant info. (We are treating all to a few dinners, which was also announced in the invitation.) This seems to be working.

Hey MdmMim
Could you send me that invitation again, I seemed to have misplaced it...?

 

[dianeschlicht]

We usually just say, "We're going to Disney, and if you'd like to join us, your room is on us." That way they know upfront what their expenses will be.

BTW, we make this offer only to those we know won't take advantage of the situation. We're very careful with the people we invite to stay with us on points. (We're very protective of our points, as I was burned once by a "friend." It won't happen again.)

We do set aside a yearly allotment for DS and DD to use, with restrictions (5 days per year; studio; Sun-Thu only; no major holidays, etc.) All expenses are their responsibility.

This December, we're taking 12 family members to BWV and BCV. We sent out invitations, stating the "rooms were on us." I have been following up with park ticket prices, announcing when specific airlines were offering Dec. flights, given them towncar phone numbers, and next month I'm sending out restaurant info. (We are treating all to a few dinners, which was also announced in the invitation.) This seems to be working.

That's pretty much what we do too, and it has usually worked quite well. Only once have our guests not reciprocated with a dinner out for us. I was a bit surprised about that from these particular people too. We even had one guest treat us to CDS! This New Years, we are treating both our adult "kids" and DS's SO to everything except meals. We told them we would pay for the New Year's Eve meal at Rose and Crown, but the rest is on their own since we are paying for transportation and park tickets for them all too.

 

[JimMIA]

We have a December trip coming up in which we are taking Grandma and Auntie. They are both getting up there in age, and we want them to experience the excitement DD3goingon23 enjoys at WDW before they are not able to do so. Because of that, we are paying everything, although Auntie may spring for a dinner during the trip.

I don't envy people taking relatives or friends on a DVC trip, and we are not likely to do it often, because of all the complications involved.

I also think bobbiwoz is onto something here:

I have found people "tune out" when I try to make explanations of what a trip to WDW means. Often our friends/relatives sort of ignore my 6 month out notes, and then about 2-3 weeks away say, "Will you send me the info again, I seem to have misplaced it."

The problem with that is when people start paying attention a month out, they add up the airfare, ticket cost, dining cost, souveniers, special events during the trip, and say, "You know...now that I look at the whole picture, I don't think this is something we can afford." Even with free accommodations, a WDW trip is certainly not a CHEAP trip. We see those cancellations again and again.

I understand why people do that, but it is also the reason I prefer not to get involved in "taking people with us." I'll be happy to help them make their arrangements, but there are only a small handful of people I'd even consider taking with us, and two of them (my adult daughters) are co-owners on our DVC membership.

 

[tiffany123]

We have 2 married DD's and 5 small grandchildren. Next June, we'll be taking our daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren to WDW for a week. We are paying for everything, including air for the 11 of us. However, this trip has been in the works since DD #1 got married 10 years ago. At that time DH and I started a special mutual fund that has been contributed to monthly since with never a withdrawal. It was set up specificially as a "WDW Vacation with Kids and Grandkids Fund" in 1995. This will be a one time all expenses paid trip for our immediate family although there have been and will probably be future DVC family trips----in summer 2004 we all spent a week at HH together.

 

[rocketriter]

In the FIRST conversation about the possible trip, while we're making the offer of accomodations, we specifically spell out that transportation, meals, park tickets and so forth are "dutch" and, if our guests are familiar with this concept, that there will be no charging privileges on the room card for our guests. We ask if our guests would like to join us for a couple of PS meals (still "dutch") and, if so, if they have any restaurant choices--after which we include them only in those reservations. (Usually our guests say "Give us some time to ourselves and include us in a couple of meals--you choose," which is perfect.) We also invite them to go onto the WDW website, sending them an URL if necessary, so they can see what it would cost them at rack rate. Remember, we do this ALL on the FIRST call. This usually works very well.

We once had relatives (who sort of invited themselves) tell us we were overplanning and they would prefer to improvise--with us, of course, stuck trailing after their improvisations and making everything possible for them. We told them that under those circumstances they must book their own room and we'd be delighted to meet up with them from time to time. They agreed that this was a good idea, took one look at rack rates, and evaporated!

 

[emsip]

Hey, I inspired a thread...that is so cool..

I think the next time (if there is a next time ) we invite someone, I am going to give them an estimate of how much it will cost them to come with us. Then they can decide if they still want to come. My mistake was to assume that my SIL would figure the cost on her own. You know what happens when you *** u me.

This is why my wife and I decided not to tell anyone that we are DVC members. We also have a Vegas timeshare and the first thing people said when we told them was "so when are we all going to Vegas." We don't want anyone coming to us and saying "so when are we going to WDW."

 

[JandD Mom]

When we purchased our points, we made it clear to all family members (most of whom are in the same or better financial position as us) that we had a significant cash outlay for DVC, and, until we recoup what we paid, everyone would have to pay for points they use. Everyone knows we always get a 1 bedroom for my family of 4, and anything beyond that would require payment of points beyond that. No one has requested to come away with us yet, but it may happen.

Second issue, and a significant argument between DH and I. MIL, who lives about 3 hrs away, joined us on our recent trip. Due to the hurricane, and FIL's failing health, changes were made to the trip 3 times. MIL was staying on cash on a reservation she paid for. We are going again in November, and DH mentioned MIL said she might come again.

I told DH that I think we ought to be able to go away without other family members (including mine) feeling they are always invited to join us. On this particular trip, we are not even staying at DVC (I got hooked into a Marriott presentation stay which I can't cancel), and don't have room for MIL. I can't stand the fact that any time we go to Orlando, MIL thinks she can drop in on us. She is wonderful, but she is a factor that changes the dynamic of our family, as would the addition of any other person. And sometimes I want to go away with just our kids and no one else around.

Of course, DH was not happy with me.

 

[magicalmcwho]

Hi emsip,
So when are we going to WDW. You could invite us DVC members. lol.

Jim.

 

[dianeschlicht]

We have really had a lot of fun inviting and being joined by family and friends in our DVC accommodations, but we do have one couple who keeps begging to invite them. We have traveled with them before (once about 20 years ago), and we know it isn't an easy task with the wife, so we have resisted asking them. Besides, I really want to be the one who decides whom we ask, and not be told by the guest that we should ask them.

 

[bongo59]

we take about 15-20 people a yr to WDW and we have one person who is a cheapo........well the first trip they thought we'd pick up everything........so we get to Epcot and they have no ticket to get in.......I asked if they had a ticket and they say no i thought you invited us.......I said I did pay for all your lodging and filled afridge with food............nonetheless they said they cant afford to come in...........we left them there at the gate.........and said have a magical day..................the people behind our guest laughed out loud and ragged the folks to no end on how disgraceful they acted...........25 minutes later they were in Epcot..............Funny part is they are now DVC members and to this day we laugh about it.............

 

[Maistre Gracey]

We invite guests quite often, and "provide" the accommodations. We actually enjoy sharing our DVC points with our guests, BUT....
On one occassion my MIL, over dinner at the California Grill, decided to start criticizing me about how we chose to spend our money. She piped up that we were foolish for not putting more money into our home, and spending all this money on vacations.
I took real offense to this since we have provided her with DVC accommodations many times. She is the first one to jump at the opportunity to stay at VWL for free, but then gets mouthy about us buying DVC.

....She still vacations with us every chance she gets. No, we don't get anything in return. We split meals and transportation. Go figure.

MG

 

[kareneast]

We invited friends (husband, wife & 13 yr old DD) to join us (DH & I) on our up coming Oct. trip. We are providing the accomodations, 2 studios at SSR. This way at the end of the day we will each have our own space. We have also told them that we will cover the drive to the airport including off-site airport parking and the towncar services from MCO to SSR. Both of these would cost us the same whether friends joined us or not. They have paid for their own airfare & park tickets. They will also be paying for their food/meals. We are all very much looking forward to the trip.

 

[dianeschlicht]

We invited friends (husband, wife & 13 yr old DD) to join us (DH & I) on our up coming Oct. trip. We are providing the accomodations, 2 studios at SSR. This way at the end of the day we will each have our own space. We have also told them that we will cover the drive to the airport including off-site airport parking and the towncar services from MCO to SSR. Both of these would cost us the same whether friends joined us or not. They have paid for their own airfare & park tickets. They will also be paying for their food/meals. We are all very much looking forward to the trip.

Why not have them use ME and let Disney give them and their luggage the free ride from the airport?

 

[Nanajo1]

We take our immediate family(kids and grandkids) every other Thanksgiving. We provide villas, park tix and most meals. They usually treat us to a couple of the big meals. Once a year we bring other family /friends. We usually get a 2Br lock off for privacy. They can close the "studio" door, we leave the other side open. They provide their airfare, park tix and meals. I plan most of the ADRs but they are free to make their own plans.
Once a year DH and I go by ourselves.

 

[keishashadow]

We invite guests quite often, and "provide" the accommodations. We actually enjoy sharing our DVC points with our guests, BUT....
On one occassion my MIL, over dinner at the California Grill, decided to start criticizing me about how we chose to spend our money. She piped up that we were foolish for not putting more money into our home, and spending all this money on vacations.
I took real offense to this since we have provided her with DVC accommodations many times. She is the first one to jump at the opportunity to stay at VWL for free, but then gets mouthy about us buying DVC.

....She still vacations with us every chance she gets. No, we don't get anything in return. We split meals and transportation. Go figure.

MG

MIL & my extended family must be related. So tired of hearing how we're wasting money - time to start acting our age. My new stock answer: we're starting our retirement travel a little early.

My older DS's are in late teens/early 20's; WDW & mom - "No"; Aruba & hot babes - "Yes". Keep telling myself it's just a stage, they be back in the fold with a vengence once they have kids & mom's footing the bill

Most of my friends look @ me like I'm crazy (maybe) and announce that they've already "done Disney"?????? Not worth convincing IMO - you either get it or you don't.

 

[TEK224]

I just bought DVC and will be taking my first trip "home" in January. Will be taking 1-2 of my nieces, since we will be doing the marathon s. I'm covering the room and some food in the room, but they have to pay the rest of their expenses.

I'm also planning a GG for Dec. 2006. I thought it would be nice to get the whole family together to see the holiday decorations at DW and just hang out together. I know that would make my Mom happy, having everyone around. This is what I'm going to do:

I'm sending both of my sisters and their kids a letter stating the intentions of the GG. I'll list approximate prices for transportation, park tickets, meals, DQ, MVMCP, CP, Cirque, tours, etc. They can select which ones they're interested in.

I'm charging each person a $50 fee for accomodations (figure that'll cover at least my maintenance fees). The rest of the expenses is on them. A deposit will be due by a certain date, then another payment and then a final payment. If they decide they don't want to go, they can get money back as long as I haven't purchased the said item (airfare, tickets, etc). I'm not a travel agent, but I like playing one sometimes Plus, the others are happy not to have to make arrangements.

We'll try to have 1-2 meals all together, but other than that everyone can do their own thing and enjoy themselves. We don't all get together that often, so the point is to enjoy each other's company and have fun while we're at it.

Now, we may have a great time or I may say NEVER AGAIN! We'll see. But at least the planning is fun!

Terri