Inspired by curfews... What do you do to prepare DD/DS for living without curfew?

[bicker]

I was reading another thread this afternoon, and it got me thinking... What (if anything) are parents of college-bound high school seniors, who are planning on living on campus, doing in light of the fact that, just nine months from now, they'll be effectively living without curfew? Are you doing anything specific in light of their upcoming comparative independence, beyond just pushing the curfew out later?

 

[MUFFYCAT]

My DD had a curfew until the end of senior year. In the beginning I was strict with it. But as her curfews started to wind down she and her friends actually were coming home earlier then when they had a curfew.

She was telling us that the kids use to want to stay outas late as possible, but with no curfew there was nothing to compete or beat,
She's a freshman in college. While I know there are nights she stays out late, there are others where she doesn't even go out.

 

[DVCLiz]

I was reading another thread this afternoon, and it got me thinking... What (if anything) are parents of college-bound high school seniors, who are planning on living on campus, doing in light of the fact that, just nine months from now, they'll be effectively living without curfew? Are you doing anything specific in light of their upcoming comparative independence, beyond just pushing the curfew out later?

I don't recall doing anything specific at that time for DD21, and I don't think I will for DD16, either. By the time my oldest was a senior in high school, she had had three years of demonstrating that she had the common sense and aptitude to take care of most of her own "business" relating to schoolwork, etc. Staying out later wouldn't have made me feel any more or less comfortable about her being on her own.

It was just a gradual process we began many years earlier. By the time she left for college I knew she would do fine on her own. I think my younger daughter will, too.

 

[mjkacmom]

I never had a set curfew growing up. I was not allowed out on school nights unless it was a school activity, and I was told what time to be home on weekends after telling them my plans. I turned 18 in February of my senior year, and then I could do whatever I wanted, because I was an adult. I guess that is what prepared me to go off to college!

 

[englishteacha]

I didn't have a curfew in high school...but my parents had to know where I was and with whom. The summer after my freshman year in college, I came home and my dad gave me a curfew!! It was crazy. I was dating my DH and we rented a movie. It was a 24 hour rental and we misread the time. I thought it was 1.5 hours, but it was 2.5 hours. I called when I realized that the movie would be later, and my mom said that was fine. I came home when the movie was finished. My dad was waiting for me and said that from then on, I was to be home by 10:00 PM. Since I was living under their roof, I had to obey.

I didn't come home for summers after that.

 

[Rose&Mike]

DS did not turn 18 until 3 weeks before he went away to school. Last summer he was on a curfew when he went out, but most nights kids were at our house. If he had something specific to do that went later, that was fine. Part of that had to do with where we live. We live in a large city, where none of the kids go to hs near their homes. When they were hanging out closer to home, we did not worry as much and eased up on the curfew. So the curfew was flexible.

He's home over break, and on nights when we are working, we ask that he be in at a reasonable time, for the simple reason that our dogs wake us up when he comes home. Our attitude is that when you are part of a family, you let people know what your plan is, so that they don't worry about you. He and his roomate follow this at school as well, in that if one of them is going to be out late they let the other one know.

I don't know if we were too strict during high school, but he had a really good first semester in college. He told me he wouldn't really change anything about high school either. He said he didn't always like the rules, but get's it now.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Natural consequences?

My parents did not "prepare me", but I quickly learned what worked and what did not.

A student who cares about their grades, will work within the parameters that allow them to succeed.

I quickly learned I was much more disciplined when I had early morning classes than if I scheduled them so that I could sleep in. It seemed I abused myself with late nights more when I thought I had plenty of time to sleep in. Holy cow, that did not work at all.

 

[SaraJayne]

I never had a set curfew growing up. I was not allowed out on school nights unless it was a school activity, and I was told what time to be home on weekends after telling them my plans. I turned 18 in February of my senior year, and then I could do whatever I wanted, because I was an adult. I guess that is what prepared me to go off to college!

I was 18 my entire senior year, but I never thought I could do whatever I wanted since I was 18.

I still lived in my mother's house and obeyed her rules. I would have loved to seen her face if I would have tried the whole "I'm an adult now and can do whatever I want" routine with her.

 

[mjkacmom]

I was 18 my entire senior year, but I never thought I could do whatever I wanted since I was 18.

I still lived in my mother's house and obeyed her rules. I would have loved to seen her face if I would have tried the whole "I'm an adult now and can do whatever I want" routine with her.

I was very surprised - it was their idea, not mine! If I missed school, I'd write the note myself - "please excuse me for being absent - I was sick." I ended up skipping 2 weeks of gym, and my mom knew, and told me to deal with the consequences (which were, BTW, my best friend and I had to take a week of gym during a week seniors were off - 8 am to 3 pm - mom laughed at my expense!).