Inspired by a couple posts...bathroom question

[GurGie]

If there is a way .. a perv will find it

Posted on Thu, Jul. 21, 2005

15-year-old boy assaulted in water park bathroom

Associated Press


ORLANDO, Fla. - A man followed a 15-year-old Orlando boy into a bathroom at a water park and sexually assaulted him, police said.

The teen was showering at about 5:10 p.m. Wednesday in a bathroom at the Wet 'n Wild water park when a man in his 50s approached him, Lt. John Mina said.

"The man approached him in the shower stall area and forced him to do sex acts," Mina said.

It was not known if the teen and the man were alone in the bathroom at the time, Mina said.

The man was not caught. The boy reported the incident to his mother, who alerted park security, Mina said.

A message left early Thursday at the park's offices was not immediately returned.

A former middle school teacher allegedly followed a 12-year-old British girl into an Orlando hotel elevator and sexually assaulted her Monday. Carl Moore, 36, of Kissimmee, was charged with attempted sexual battery, false imprisonment and lewd molestation.

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

Although these type incidents are unfortunate, the overwhelming majority of child molestation cases do not happen at the hands of some perverted stranger. They typically happen at the hands of a beloved family member or friend. That being said, there is no set age for a child to use the bathroom on his/her own. It's all up to the maturity level of your child. On a side note, the mens' room is nothing like the ladies' room, with all of the talking and beauty tips . Men go in, look straight forward, do their thing and leave. If any guy heard a little boy say "he's not my dad!!" or "help!!", I can assure you he would get some serious attention from everyone in the restroom. Your child just has to be mature enough to call for help if he needs it!

 

[GurGie]

Although these type incidents are unfortunate, the overwhelming majority of child molestation cases do not happen at the hands of some perverted stranger. They typically happen at the hands of a beloved family member or friend. That being said, there is no set age for a child to use the bathroom on his/her own. It's all up to the maturity level of your child. On a side note, the mens' room is nothing like the ladies' room, with all of the talking and beauty tips . Men go in, look straight forward, do their thing and leave. If any guy heard a little boy say "he's not my dad!!" or "help!!", I can assure you he would get some serious attention from everyone in the restroom. Your child just has to be mature enough to call for help if he needs it!

my point is that whether it's a stranger or a family member ... these are crimes of opportunity ... don't give them one.

My 9 & 6 yo DDs always want to do things by themselves .. it may be a pain to drop everything and take them to the RR sometimes but I tell them I don't doubt that they are capable of doing it themselves .. it's others I worry about.

 

[SamanthaL]

On a side note, the mens' room is nothing like the ladies' room, with all of the talking and beauty tips .

Hey! How do you know about the beaty tips!? And have you overheard any that can diminish crow's feet and frizzy hair due to humidity?

 

[GurGie]

Hey! How do you know about the beaty tips!? And have you overheard any that can diminish crow's feet and frizzy hair due to humidity?

A little hemorrhoid cream on wrinkles works really well ... seriously! It's been used for years by actors.

 

[SamanthaL]

A little hemorrhoid cream on wrinkles works really well ... seriously! It's been used for years by actors.

After having 2 kids I think I may have a tube here somewhere! I will say this though, I did see Bobby Brown use some on his face on his reality show. It didn't work!

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

After having 2 kids I think I may have a tube here somewhere! I will say this though, I did see Bobby Brown use some on his face on his reality show. It didn't work!

Ugh! Is that show pathetic or what?!?! The both of them are certifiable lunatics!! 5 minutes of the show's premiere was about all I could take!

 

[SamanthaL]

Ugh! Is that show pathetic or what?!?! The both of them are certifiable lunatics!! 5 minutes of the show's premiere was about all I could take!

I think that poor DD of theirs is doomed!

 

[Laugh O. Grams]

My 9 & 6 yo DDs always want to do things by themselves .. it may be a pain to drop everything and take them to the RR sometimes but I tell them I don't doubt that they are capable of doing it themselves .. it's others I worry about.

It's not about being a pain to the parents. That's not my point, not even close! The point is that eventually, your kids have to grow up and use the restroom on their own. At what age that is varies depending on the child's maturity level.

 

[brettb]

Something that just occured to me as possible alternative to calling out to your son every 30 seconds or so: Have him sing. If the singing stops, you go in. Though singing might still be embarrassing, I think if I were 8, I'd rather sing than have my mother call my name every 30 seconds and responding with things like, "Still peeing, Mom." It's also more continuous - no 29 seconds of vulnerablity between contacts.

Brett

 

[SqueakyMouse]

Although these type incidents are unfortunate, the overwhelming majority of child molestation cases do not happen at the hands of some perverted stranger. They typically happen at the hands of a beloved family member or friend. That being said, there is no set age for a child to use the bathroom on his/her own. It's all up to the maturity level of your child. On a side note, the mens' room is nothing like the ladies' room, with all of the talking and beauty tips . Men go in, look straight forward, do their thing and leave. If any guy heard a little boy say "he's not my dad!!" or "help!!", I can assure you he would get some serious attention from everyone in the restroom. Your child just has to be mature enough to call for help if he needs it!

Too true! My dh is a glorified social worker/therapist who works with kids who have been sexually abused. ALL of the children he is currently working with have been abused by a FAMILY member. It's so very sad.

I was reading some of these posts to dh, and he though the family restrooms (He used these with dd 2/5 yo in May.) and radios were a good idea. Also, why can't your 13 yo take him? Our older son was almost 13 during our May trip, and he frequently took our almost 5 yo ds. Dh and I both consider our 5 yo ds to be too old to go to the bathroom with me now unless there is just no other choice. He would not want me to go with him, either. I guess having a male to go with him has just never been an issue for us.

Personally, I work with elementary-aged children; and I would not want an 8+ yo boy in the ladies' restroom. Definitely try to use on of the other options first. Also, remember that being overprotective can be harmful to a developing child, too. Before I get flamed for this, just think about child development and also realize that I'm not advocating for anyone to behave unwisely.

 

[Harligirl]

Too true! My dh is a glorified social worker/therapist who works with kids who have been sexually abused. ALL of the children he is currently working with have been abused by a FAMILY member. It's so very sad.

I was reading some of these posts to dh, and he though the family restrooms (He used these with dd 2/5 yo in May.) and radios were a good idea. Also, why can't your 13 yo take him? Our older son was almost 13 during our May trip, and he frequently took our almost 5 yo ds. Dh and I both consider our 5 yo ds to be too old to go to the bathroom with me now unless there is just no other choice. He would not want me to go with him, either. I guess having a male to go with him has just never been an issue for us.

Personally, I work with elementary-aged children; and I would not want an 8+ yo boy in the ladies' restroom. Definitely try to use on of the other options first. Also, remember that being overprotective can be harmful to a developing child, too. Before I get flamed for this, just think about child development and also realize that I'm not advocating for anyone to behave unwisely.

My 13 yr old is a girl....

I am not an overprotective psycho. I love my kids- they are the world to me and I want them safe. I was just looking for some options and thoughts on how to handle it. I have some ideas (family restrooms are the best option) and will deal with them as needed.

Dh and I both consider our 5 yo ds to be too old to go to the bathroom with me now unless there is just no other choice.

So, what do you do if there is no other choice???

I don't make my kids hold it if they need to go- I am not going to drag them on a ride if they need to use the restroom. I would walk across the park to find a restroom if need be.

There seem to be a bunch of different opinions here. To each there own- thank you for the great ideas. If I drag my son in the Ladies room, please just ignore us and don't make a scene I promise we will be quick!

 

[MommytoMJM]

Just a note, Companion restrooms are NOT family restrooms, they are for handicapped users (those who need help, where the regular restrooms may not accomodate wheelchairs, etc.....) I know it is a common misconception that they are for families, they really are not.

 

[Harligirl]

Just a note, Companion restrooms are NOT family restrooms, they are for handicapped users (those who need help, where the regular restrooms may not accomodate wheelchairs, etc.....) I know it is a common misconception that they are for families, they really are not.

Hmmmm......this is not good news.........I will have to check this out a bit further......

Lisa

 

[meatballsmom]

There are some family restrooms around the world. With my son (he's 7 now), if it's just me he has to come in with me. He doesn't want to, but in this day and age that's just too bad! It's just not safe for him to go in alone. Usually I peak ahead of us as we go in to see how many people are in there waiting or whatever. If there isn't a line, we go in quickly. I know some other women may be uncomfortable with this, so depending on what sense I get, I sometimes cover his eyes or just steer him quickly to the actual stall. I've never had anyone say anything rude to us or anything and the bottom line is that you have to do what you have to do to keep your kids safe!

I just don't get this, why would woman feel uncomfortable with a male child being in the ladies room!!! I can see the opposite (taking a female child in the mens room), but everyone is in a stall in the ladies room. It's not like he can see anything.

 

[BillSears]

I may be odd in this but I look at it this way. If he's old enough to go by himself at home and at school then he's old enough to go into a public restroom alone. You'll be waiting outside and ready to rush to his aid if something terrible happens. You'll be watching the exits. Just let the poor kid take care of himself.

I know I waited many times outside of the Ladies room for my daughter. I don't think it's that bad a thing to do.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Just a note, Companion restrooms are NOT family restrooms, they are for handicapped users (those who need help, where the regular restrooms may not accomodate wheelchairs, etc.....) I know it is a common misconception that they are for families, they really are not.

Thank you!!!!!!

A family restroom and a companion restroom are two totally SEPERATE things!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I may be odd in this but I look at it this way. If he's old enough to go by himself at home and at school then he's old enough to go into a public restroom alone. You'll be waiting outside and ready to rush to his aid if something terrible happens. You'll be watching the exits. Just let the poor kid take care of himself.

I know I waited many times outside of the Ladies room for my daughter. I don't think it's that bad a thing to do.

Great post, Bill

 

[k_k_100]

ok - asking this question in reverse - what do you do w/ a 6-8 yo girl who is alone w/ her father & HE needs to use the restroom? Does he take her in w/ him? At what age is this just "awkward"? I think it's fine for dad to have her close her eyes as he takes her into a stall & she does her business... but I'm not sure about the reverse? & at what age it becomes innapropriate?

DD is only 3 so this isn't really an issue yet - but she does a lot of things alone w/ her Daddy - If I have a spa date it would be perfect for him to take her to the parks

 

[Kimkimba]

My ds is 7 1/2, and is perfectly capable of going in the mens' room by himself, but it's not my ds's capabilities that concern me.

It's those few bad seeds just waiting for their opportunity that concern me. And public bathrooms can get very crowded. So I still take him in the ladies' room with me and it's no big deal (to me, to him, or to anyone else I've encountered). He goes in a stall, pees, comes out washes his hands and we leave.

I've actually never thought about it being offensive, but I guess that's just the type of person I am - my childrens' safety comes before anything else.