Inspire me. Have you made big changes?

[Neesy228]

I think I'm suffering from the post-holiday doldrums...

I keep thinking of all the things I'd like to change this year: keep my house clean (it's embarrassingly messy), declutter, assign my kids chores and stick to it, lose weight, excercise etc etc...I am just feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated!

I have so many friends who try to "fix" the same things about themselves year after year after year and I know NO ONE personally who has lost the weight and kept it off, or stuck to an exercise routine long term, or stopped being a packrat...

SOooo, help me fellow DISer's! Have you made a big life change and stuck with it? Tell me about it! Brag about yourself and get me motivated. Prove to me that you really CAN change! I need help!

 

[smiller]

I used to hate cooking and thought I was no good at it. I could eat out every day if given the opportunity.

Well, due to a tight budget I HAD to start cooking from scratch. Then, with a job change came a more relaxed schedule, and I realized cooking can actually be FUN when you aren't entering the house starving after 12 hours commuting and working.

I've learned I can make really good soups, beef stew, veggie pannini, and sloppy joes, but my roast chicken and risotto skills are still lacking terribly. I'm not afraid or intimidated by cooking, and when I want to try something new I simply google several versions of the same recipe and create my own take (and often with my own scaled-down ingredients).

I'm with you on just about everything you'd like to work on - I'm currently decluttering my home, trying to exercise more, and get some good am/pm housework and personal routines down. Little by little I think I'm getting there!

It's probably taken me two years with this cooking thing, so I understand patience and diligence are musts.

 

[bamagirl@hrt]

I am in the boat with you! Each year I vow to lose weight and exercise. At different times, I've experienced some level of success only to "fall off the wagon" and end up back where I started. I set grand, life-changing goals for myself and then feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and defeated when I don't achieve them. This year, I'm starting small. For the month of January, I will move some each day, even if it's just for 15 minutes. I will drink more water, and I will not eat fast food. At the end of January, I plan to celebrate my success and add 2-3 more small changes for the month of February. I am hopeful that by making a few small changes at a time instead of trying to change everything at once, I'll experience a level of success that will encourage me to continue.

Good luck!

 

[trustknoone]

In the same boat as all of you. I cycled for 8 months straight, but stopped when it got cold and now I can't seem to get motivated to put the bike on the trainer and ride indoors, it's just not the same. I've been trying to declutter for months but now I have all this stuff that needs to be sold or donated and just can't seem to get it done. Everytime I look at it I see all this money that I am just letting sit there.

bamagirl, that sounds like a plan, small achievable goals with rewards at the end of each phase. So for Jan I'm going to ride at least 15 minutes 3 days a week and list at least 10 things for sale.
Once you switch to water you won't go back, I gave up soda 4 years ago, I drink about 3 cups of coffee a day and the rest is water. I do drink soda occasionally about 2 6 packs a year, since this is the budget board I will mention how much money this will save you.

 

[bumbershoot]

This is going to sound so crazy. But bear with me.

Last year I started looking on flylady.net. It was really overwhelming, but that's b/c I do insist on reading ALL the pages, not just the page on what to do NOW.

But I was really drawn to the whole *keeping the sink clean* part of it all. And that's what they tell you to do first. Make sure your dishes are clean (or in the dishwasher, at least) and your sink is clean every night. It sounded lovely! DH is the main dishwasher, and he had balked for months, so finally I just started doing it. This is VERY out of character for me, b/c to me, doing dishes right after a meal "ruins" the meal for me (I'm over that). He saw me washing, and on the second or third night, he joined me.

And since then, almost every night, we have had the dishes washed and/or in the dishwasher. We can't "shine" the sink b/c it's this weird black material, but we do have it clear and clean.


And...good things started happening. Well, first a big bad thing happened...DH got news of a layoff. But after 2 months of searching during the countdown of department closing, he got a contract job. Then after a month of that and realizing it just did NOT work for us, he got a new job at his old company (which we LOVE with all our hearts...when they lay people off, it's a good, preemptive, business decision that has helped them survive since the mid 90s so far). In the middle, we got scared and found Dave Ramsey. And since August of '09 we have gone from over 9K left on our car loan to 3900 as of tonight. We cleared up a bunch of old debts hanging over us. We have an emergency fund. it's been awesome.

And I hadn't really thought about the sink being the start of it until I talked to my Korean MIL, who just about fainted from joy that we'd been doing it. Why? Because it's some old Korean superstition that when you have your kitchen clean, more money will find its way to your house.

So...start there. Clean your sink; have it clear every night. Keep at it until it's a habit, until you actually mark the days on the calender when you do NOT do it, just to keep you honest. Learning that habit will help with other habits.

But for now...just clean the sink.


Told ya it sounded weird.

 

[indimom]

doesn't sound crazy to me. I started hand washing the dishes a few months back when our THIRD dishwasher croaked. I made a few discoveries:

1. I got the dishes done and put away more regularly and faster than when I was using the dishwasher...go figure.

2. Over the months, having a clean sink area spread to the whole kitchen and I LOVE IT! It just puts me in a good mood seeing a clean kitchen. That includes waxing the cabinets!!!

3. Having a clean kitchen/countertops made the cluttered fridge more noticable and suddenly DH was cleaning out the fridge (milk spills on the glass shelves, etc) without anyone asking!

4. Since the new year, I've been slowly making my way through the cabinets and I feel even better when I can open them up without being buried by tupperware...

5. I'm now moving on to the "computer closet" in my dining room. (The old pictures, electronics cords, paperwork, etc. in there is scary, but I'm through two shelves already and getting excited!)

I could definately see where making a small start like just cleaning the sink could energize you toward doing more. I never really thought about it until you said it, but it definitely started with a sink for me as well!!!

 

[indimom]

Wasn't trying to ignore your original question in my last post. I hope you find the sink suggestion inspiring.
As far as other goals, I'm in the same boat. I'm the queen of the yo-yo diet. I've lost and regained the same 40 pounds over and over and over throughout the years. I'm on the wagon again and holding so far.

Thinking about all this has made me wonder if I should take the clean house/sink lesson and apply it to my weight loss goals. Maybe our parents and grandparents knew more than we gave them credit for...I'm going to try to stick with cooking what's in the house and shopping once a week (instead of running to the store after work or eating fast food).
Also, I'll try to recommit to eating at the dinner table, even when we are not all at home at the same time. We are very guilty of taking our dinner to the living room when we are eating on different schedules. Maybe those simple, old fashioned ways of living will help out.

Sorry I don't have an inspirational success story, but maybe we can all help each other commit again, and remind ourselves that even a small success is still a success!!! Good luck with your goals!!!

 

[pklein09]

I like the sink idea!!! I find when DH is late from work (9:00 or so), the dishes are done and clean. When DH is on time (7:30, I know - still late by most standards), the dishes languish because we unwind from our day. I'm going to work on the sink! Thanks!

ETA: I cleaned out the sink while the kids were eating breakfast, and then I scrubbed it down with Cameo. Day 1...check!

 

[Swimalie]

For those of you who want to lose weight - what kind of exercise do you like to do? What kind of exercise will you stick with (sometimes they are not always the same)? If it's running, cycling, walking, swimming or something along those lines set a goal of doing a race (or meet) in the near future. Then you have to train for it and you need to start now.

About 9 years ago my thyroid had just died (took radioactive iodine) and I had gained a lot of weight. I was exercising every day but it wasn't working. I got back in the pool after a 12 year hiatus. Within 8 months I had lost all the weight and was in great shape. I had set goals of competing and I certainly didn't want to look bad in a swim suit. I dropped 4 sizes in those 8 months, too. Now I've lost even more and am ranked in the Top 10 in the country for the last 6 of 7 years (took 1 year off to have my son). My goal this year is to compete at Nationals in May in Atlanta. I just had ankle surgery in Nov and am still working on getting back in shape from that but my goal is pushing me hard.

So... set a goal and stick to it. Write it down... remember it. and (to coin a phrase) "Go for it!"

 

[spare+a_pair]

Last year I decided it was time to declutter. I had read somewhere that it takes 21 days to make something become a habit, SO...

Everyday for 21 days, I filled at least one bag of stuff up to either donate, throw away, or freecycle. I went through the entire house. I did this for almost 7 months - that's A LOT of clutter and unused stuff to give away! Somewere in the middle of this project, I realized how much money I was wasting on stuff, even though it was cheap! I LOVE hunting for Target clearance stuff, but now, I only buy it if I need it and have a place for it.

I do need to do a small declutter, but this year, I think it will only take me a few weeks, vs months like last year!

I also think the key to changing your lifestyle, is to do it in moderation and to set a routine. When I began my weight loss journey (lost 50 lbs), I started by not going through a Fast food drive through for 2 weeks. Then, I began making sure I drank enough water for 2 weeks, then I began controlling the portions, then I added in exercise. If you try to do something all at once, it's overwelming, but if you break it down into small managable goals, it becaomes easier to achieve!

 

[aprilvaca04]

I am in the boat with you! Each year I vow to lose weight and exercise. At different times, I've experienced some level of success only to "fall off the wagon" and end up back where I started. I set grand, life-changing goals for myself and then feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and defeated when I don't achieve them. This year, I'm starting small. For the month of January, I will move some each day, even if it's just for 15 minutes. I will drink more water, and I will not eat fast food. At the end of January, I plan to celebrate my success and add 2-3 more small changes for the month of February. I am hopeful that by making a few small changes at a time instead of trying to change everything at once, I'll experience a level of success that will encourage me to continue.

Good luck!

Love this idea and approach...you've got me thinking and more motivated and for that I thank you

 

[Helene]

One rule that I started to follow a few years ago was "nothing comes in unless something goes out". For example, before I grocery shop, I clean out the fridge for the week. Before I get new clothes for myself or the family, closets get looked at and anything not worn anymore gets thrown or donated.

Although things are still cluttered in some areas of my home, this has helped to keep things managable. In the last few months I've also started to clean a drawer here, a closet there, and I'm slowly getting getting my house in order.

I remember someone once telling me that we spend the 1st half of our lives collecting things and the second half getting rid of it all. I am definitely entering the second phase

 

[fatuhiva]

If you want it to be a lasting change you need to go slowly. IE - You can loose weight by going on some extreme diet, but you learn nothing about a healthy lifestyle by doing that and you can't maintain that forever. You're setting yourself up for failure later. As other posters have said, start with a few smaller changes - I love the clean sink story!

Whatever you want to change in life, if you want it to last, has to be a lifestyle change. Decluttering you house won't work if you continue to buy stuff you don't need. If you want to be skinnier, have a clean house, give up a bad habit you have to do it because you truly WANT to do it, not because you think you should. If you feel your forcing yourself it won't be a permanent change.

My theory - variety, balance & moderation - apply it to everything in life.

 

[Virgderon]

This last year was a huge year of change for me, some of it imposed on me and some done by choice.

My husband lost his job early this year. With 2 kids still in college, we had no choice to to look everywhere for a job for him. We ended up moving from Chicago to Tampa, and that was the change that was imposed on me. What happened next was very interesting.

The first thing I had to look at was how much clutter and stuff I had in my house. I ended up having 2 garage sales, throwing out bags of garbage for weeks running, and actually giving away valuable things like tvs and dvd players. I made about $1000 on my garage sales for items that costs thousands of dollars and that are probably still being paid for on various credit cards.

I look at each item, and remember the decision behind it- like the Furbies that I paid $80 each for, because that was the hot item that Christmas. The kids didn't need them. I couldn't give them away at the garage sale. My daughter had 4 American girl dolls- why? One would have been enough.

So- I was forced to deal with the clutter, but I realized I had to change my spending habits, and more importantly , my relationship with money. I don't need 20 pairs of shoes. I don't need to buy clothes every season. My kids don't need every gaming console and game.

I put all my credit cards in a CCS, except for one company that refused and I will be settling with.

I furnished my apartment with furnishings bought on Craigslist. I don't buy books anymore, they clutter up my house and cost money. I use the food I buy before I buy more. I don't buy trinkets or collectibles. Everything I buy I pay for with cash. Every buying decision is a decision, not an impulse.

In less than 5 years I will be debt free, and I will remain clutter free.

I want more experiences in my life like traveling more, and less things. I will get there.

 

[apnep]

Hello,
I've been a long time lurker and finally decided to join the conversation(s). I've really enjoyed all the threads.

Neesy, I'm just gonna tell you, if you really want to make a change, then just get up and do it. What are you waiting for? You are the only one who can motivate yourself. Get up and do it! You've only got one life to live! You will feel SO proud of yourself when you've accomplished your goals & not just you but your entire family. I hearby challenge you to be the inspiration for your friends! You can do it!

Ang

 

[JandJ]

I don't know how much encouragement I can provide, but in April 2008 I made a big change. I threw my back out in 2007 (3 weeks unable to move followed by 18 weeks in physical therapy). I didn't keep up with my exercises and it got bad again. I had to go back to PT and really didn't like the feeling that I somehow failed. Then, my DMIL threw her back out and ended up in a nursing home for 3 months! She didn't have back surgery, no Cortisone shots, she just did her PT and exercised every day. She lost 40 pounds and her back is strong enough that she went back to work teaching (on her feet all day) and took 2 vacations. I figured if she could do it - at 60 years old - I could do it! I didn't need to lose weight, but wanted to firm up, but mostly just wanted to make my back stronger. You have to understand, I hated gyms. I had joined them before and always stopped going. I didn't like anything about it - the locker room, the other people, the machines, nothing! It took DH going with me to the gym to get signed up, which he did last April. He treated me to a personal trainer and that made all the difference! I saw her twice a week for 20 weeks and it stuck! I still go to the gym 3 times a week. Occasionally my back will still bother me, but nothing like it used to, and I don't get depressed and discouraged about it anymore. I just keep going, don't push to the point of pain, but I don't slack off either. It has made a world of difference! I'm stronger than I've ever been, even my niece commented on my how good my arms look, I have more stamina than ever, and just feel so much better - and that's what it's all about - feeling better!

I know a personal trainer is not in everyone's budget, but if you get a work-out buddy who is knowledgeable about the equipment, that will make a big difference. At my gym there are trainers on the floor all the time and they will help you with each piece of equipment for no additional fee. The biggest change for me was to go to the gym for ME - not to see or be seen. I used to feel very intimidated by everyone else who was there, but now I put on my headphones and block out the world. I'm there to do what I need to do and then get out. I think a lot of people are scared of gyms because they're not as fit as other people who are there, but that's how those people got fit, by going to the gym. See your doctor first to make sure you are physically up to working out.

 

[CraftyCrissy]

I agree with all the other posters - Baby Steps but will add - YOU HAVE TO REALLY WANT TO MAKE IT HAPPEN! Like quitting smoking (or more), you have to be able to look at the problem straight in the face and commit to fixing it. Its not going to happen unless you want it. Last year I vowed to get rid of the clutter and get my house cleaned up (and mine too was embarrassing), lose weight and get a handle on our finances (not out of control but we needed to save & long-term plan more.) I am a list-maker and like to see what I've accomplished so I have a binder with a sheet of paper for each room in my house (seriously, even one for my 4x7 entrance foyer and the upstairs hallway!) Each room's sheet lists every single item that needs to be cleaned, drawer to be organized, closet to be purged, grout to be scrubbed. The lists can be ridiculous looking but it keeps it all in perspective for me. Also on the room sheet I keep track of things I need for the room - either practical or decorating-wise. I also write on the list who I can donate items too. So - my daughter had outgrown 2 pairs of Crocs that were still thrown in my coat closet. A bag was started for my friend's daughter 2 years younger. On the room sheet I made a list "For Sarah" and then when I saw Sarah, I had the bag ready to go to her house (and out of mine!!) Also, before I started I found out exactly where I could donate stuff to. My town's recycling center takes EVERYTHING - clothes, computers, normal recycling, etc. My binder has a sheet with contact numbers for local shelters, curb pick up schedule for recycling, etc. Its all in one place, ready to be used. Everyone makes fun of my binder. My friends call it my 4th child because I'm so careful with it!

I started with just one thing - the house. Each week I picked a room in my house and did the 15-30 minutes a day in that room. I bought a $1 digital timer that travels from room to room with me. A half hour for 5 consecutive days did alot. And did I ever do that room! I'm talking not just the major stuff like decluttering but down to scrubbing baseboards, washing down walls and touching up paint! It is like a dumb game I play with myself - how much can I do in this 30 minutes?! If a room took me less than the 5 days, I would use the "extra" days of those 15 minutes to drop off stuff at Good Will, FreeCycle posts, etc. At the end of the 30 minutes, I would force myself to put what I was working on to the side and go about the rest of my normal day. Trust me, for the first two or three days the room may be crazier than before you began but by day four - it was easy to put it all back together. I even cleaned out two garages this way, although sometimes the work-times were an hour each! I was in the garages in January, in New Jersey, it was cold! But I bundled up and worked quicker. I even put a space heater on in there a few times. I brought my phone with me to the room so I didn't have to leave the room to answer it. And I started using my caller id more - no answering anything but the most important stuff (i.e., kids' school) during that time.

I streamlined my kids' stuff. Three kids, three activities, three different places to be at the same time many nights. I forced the habit of getting practice & game uniforms in one spot, put together at the start of the week. Its a hanging sweater bin by the door of my garage. One bin for each kid full of socks, practice clothes, cleats, and a second bin for gloves, equipment, bags, etc. I made a habit of making up water bottles for the night's activities when I made lunch boxes that morning (or the night before). Put them in the bins along with that night's clothes. I also put a laundry basket under the hanging bins. The kids take off their dirty practice clothes and uniforms and into the bins they go. I told the kids, and my husband, that they were in charge of getting it all into the basket and I'd take care of washing it and getting it into the bins in time for their activity. No more searching under beds for the one lone baseball sock or a team shirt! Believe me, all three of my kids have gone to a game without a team hat or matching socks or shin guards because THEY didn't do their part. They learned - quick!

Weight Loss & Exercising - well, that didn't start to happen until September 23rd. As with any change in your life, you need to WANT to MAKE it happen. Nothing will change on its own. I needed to lose 20 pounds badly but didn't want to work at it. And then in September my best friend was put in the hospital with a serious problem that I have also experienced in the past and am at high risk for the rest of my life (DVT and PE's). She had just been admitted and I was with her and in walked my own doctor! My friend is a fitness instructor and her concern at that time was would she be allowed to go back to working out and how soon, would the PE affect her job, etc. My (our) doctor laughed and said, "You'll heal and can go back to your normal life. Don't believe this sloth (shrugging to me) when she says the clots keep her from getting in shape!" Now, he was being sarcastic and teasing me (as is his way) but it hit me like a ton of bricks! I was giving my body an excuse for the clots to cause problems as I aged by not taking care of myself & could end up in that same bed she was in, and the outcome may not be the same given my severity. The next week another friend and I started WW, started walking and I was down 20 pounds in 2 months. Another month and I'm down 25. I'm going for 5 more by the end of January. But, I couldn't start until I wanted it and I needed that reason to want it.

The savings thing never happened in 2009. It was too much for us to handle. Its happening in 2010! My husband really has an "ignore it and it will go away" attitude but just this past weekend I made him listen to me and we talked it out. We made a "date" for ourselves for Saturday night. Grandma & Grandpa are going to take the kids for dinner & game night at their house and DH and I are going to use the few hours to hash out a better savings plan over take-out Chinese & a few beers! We're going to go through statements and spending line by line and figure out how to plan better. We figure the 3-4 hours will be more than enough time to get a plan in place.

So now, at the start of 2010, my garages need to be cleaned again (but not majorly decluttered), my pantry needs to be organized again, I need to get some sort of indoor exercise going (stupid arctic wind keeps me from walking!), Christmas stuff needs to come down and put away and my laundry room needs a major cleaning and de-cluttering (it never really needed it last year so it never made "the list"). The kids and DH went back to school & work yesterday and I gave myself the day to re-group (and enjoy the quiet!) After I finish typing this post, the big binder will be coming out and a schedule will be made of what rooms to do on what days, based on their need!

You can do this. Decide what major thing you want to work on first - don't try to do it all together. My weight loss feels great even though I didn't start until September. I refuse to look back and regret that I didn't start sooner. It wasn't the right time for me. Same with the house cleaning or the financial gain we're going to make this year. No matter what you start with you will work hard, you'll go to bed tired and you'll sometimes wonder why you're putting yourself through this. But let me tell you, there is nothing better than not having to step over a pile of junk to get to your closet, not have to search under your car seats for a single shin guard, not cringe everytime you look in the mirror because you can only focus on your belly (or rear or thighs or whatever!)

There's a "Great Destash of 2010" thread here - post your accomplishments and praise yourself. Others will praise you too and be inspired by you. Or start a new thread - I'll cheer you on!

 

[mom2faith]

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[minnie1928]

First off...Love the sink idea! Nothing irritates me more than a sink full of dishes first thing in the morning. I realized that I was waiting for my DH to wash them (I hate to wash dishes) and some times he would. But more often than not, I was still having to wash them. If I wash them at night I'll be saving myself the disgust of seeing them first thing in the morning.

I agree with the others, you need to determine what's important to you and just make it happen. I decided to start pursuing a professional certification in my field. So since October I have been studying an average of 3-4 hours per day studying/practicing/taking tests. In some ways I think I'm overdoing it and I need to find some balance, but in other ways I think that I've got the momentum going and that I need to keep it up. Regardless, it's given me a sense of doing something for "me" instead of always doing for others. Probably sounds selfish, but really I don't put myself first as often as I probably should.

 

[Lucky4me]

I have a long way to go - a very long way (like all the rooms in my house, 80 lbs, etc) but, I can tell you that we made one change last October that has really gotten our family on the right track:

NO TV/VIDEO GAMES/COMPUTER until after 8:00 pm.

We are all home by 6:00pm sop we have 2 hours together as a family each night.

This one change has made all of the difference in our lives!! DD5 does not need to watch TV anyways, she gets 1 show before bed on the PVR or she can play her DS. But she usually opts for a book (I am surprised too!)

As for DH and I - we get the house clean, make a heathier supper and eat at the table instead of in front of the TV, play games with DD, etc.

We have one "Free" night each week where we can veg in front of the TV, but we usually save that for Friday. And, weekends are more lax as well - we usually decide what we want to get done that weekend and then relax after that chore is done.

I honestly suggest you try it for 1 month to see the difference.

ITA with this.
I have put myself on an internet/tv diet and all the rest seems to be falling into place. One hour a day is it for each, except on weekends.
Un plug, so as not to be tempted and get busy-whether it be cleaning, organizing, cooking, or exercising, most of that doesn't need a tv or computer to be accomplished. I crank up the music while doing all the chores and it makes it fun.
I've been doing the shiny sink thing every night for thirty years. I also don't keep a dish strainer on the counter. I lay a dish towel on the counter, then dry and put away all dishes that can't go in the dishwasher. Then put the towel on the stove handle to dry. Nothing worse than waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes or a counter full of clean ones.