Inside Voices?

[Travel60]

Do people not teach their children about "inside voices" anymore?

I am sitting in a casual but nice breakfast restaurant (table service) and I cannot even hear to talk with my breakfast companion because of a table of kids who have been screaming non-stop. Inexplicably, they are now singing "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" at the top of their lungs.

The parents are just sitting there looking at their phones ignoring it.

I was taught, I taught my children, and they've taught my grandchildren that when indoors, we speak just loudly enough so our companions hear us. Not the next table. Not the whole restaurant.

Just another piece of evidence that we really don't care about others anymore?

 

[Christine]

Do people not teach their children about "inside voices" anymore?

I am sitting in a casual but nice breakfast restaurant (table service) and I cannot even hear to talk with my breakfast companion because of a table of kids who have been screaming non-stop. Inexplicably, they are now singing "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" at the top of their lungs.

The parents are just sitting there looking at their phones ignoring it.

I was taught, I taught my children, and they've taught my grandchildren that when indoors, we speak just loudly enough so our companions hear us. Not the next table. Not the whole restaurant.

Just another piece of evidence that we really don't care about others anymore?

There's always those parents who don't--and they might be the majority now.

My husband was in Japan this summer where they are very polite, quiet, and orderly in public. He was on a local train from Tokyo traveling north to the country. The train employees and automated announcements were directing people to be quiet on the train, speak in low voices, don't disrupt your neighbors, etc. Of course right behind my husband was a very loudmouth child, about 10 years old, just yelling out his conversation. American. My husband could see the disbelief on all the other travelers' faces.

But yeah, back to your restaurant example. I am past the age of kids--my kids are adults. There are just certain restaurants I won't go to. Food/dining is expensive enough and I want a pleasurable meal so I avoid places like Texas Roadhouse because the one time I went it was full of yelling children.

 

[gottalovepluto]

Do people not teach their children about "inside voices" anymore?

I am sitting in a casual but nice breakfast restaurant (table service) and I cannot even hear to talk with my breakfast companion because of a table of kids who have been screaming non-stop. Inexplicably, they are now singing "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" at the top of their lungs.

The parents are just sitting there looking at their phones ignoring it.

I was taught, I taught my children, and they've taught my grandchildren that when indoors, we speak just loudly enough so our companions hear us. Not the next table. Not the whole restaurant.

Just another piece of evidence that we really don't care about others anymore?

Obviously nobody cares anymore and that is why everywhere you go there are children screaming and causing chaos when 30 years ago they were perfect angels.

…Or you just had the bad luck to have rude people at your restaurant.

 

[sam_gordon]

It's not just kids though. I stopped at a fast food place yesterday for lunch. Place my order, go to sit down, and I hear voices coming out of a speaker. I look over toward the source to see if there was a TV in the area. Nope, just a couple at a table and the male was watching a video on his phone with the speaker turned up loud.

I was only there for ~15 minutes, but the speaker was blaring the entire time. I considered saying something, or going over to them on my way out to ask about the video because it must have been entertaining, but got chicken.

 

[Marrila]

We were sitting in a booth at a local restaurant last week. Three (what appeared to be) older retiree men sat down just after our food arrived. They launched into a very loud conversation and it's funny, the comment I made to my husband was they left their inside voices at home.

 

[Disneylover99]

We were sitting in a booth at a local restaurant last week. Three (what appeared to be) older retiree men sat down just after our food arrived. They launched into a very loud conversation and it's funny, the comment I made to my husband was they left their inside voices at home.

Or maybe they left their hearing aids at home.

 

[Travel60]

Yes, I was in Japan in June and it was apparently the week when a lot of schools do field trips. We saw hundreds of students in uniform from dozens of schools. In line, quiet, obedient but obviously paying attention and interested.

While at the International Exhibition in Osaka (World's Fair), a group of two or three fifth graders came up to us and asked if they could ask some questions for an assignment. They spoke good English, got our jokes, asked good questions and thanked us for helping them.

The US is doing something wrong with parenting and education. Probably has been for decades and that could explain the issues we are seeing with young people's self esteem and self regulation.

 

[Christine]

Yes, I was in Japan in June and it was apparently the week when a lot of schools do field trips. We saw hundreds of students in uniform from dozens of schools. In line, quiet, obedient but obviously paying attention and interested.

While at the International Exhibition in Osaka (World's Fair), a group of two or three fifth graders came up to us and asked if they could ask some questions for an assignment. They spoke good English, got our jokes, asked good questions and thanked us for helping them.

The US is doing something wrong with parenting and education. Probably has been for decades and that could explain the issues we are seeing with young people's self esteem and self regulation.

Japan still has a heavy culture of caring what other people think, having enough shame and sense to know if you'd acted the fool, and prides itself on decorum and respect. The focus on the collective and not the individual. We are completely opposite of that, even though we don't think so. They seem to eventually tend to follow U.S. trains albeit maybe 50 years later, so we shall see which way they go.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Or maybe they left their hearing aids at home.

That’s what close captioning is for then.

 

[Micca]

they are now singing "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" at the top of their lungs.

No one should ever sing that song, much less in September. Disgraceful

 

[BrianL]

Yes, I was in Japan in June and it was apparently the week when a lot of schools do field trips. We saw hundreds of students in uniform from dozens of schools. In line, quiet, obedient but obviously paying attention and interested.

While at the International Exhibition in Osaka (World's Fair), a group of two or three fifth graders came up to us and asked if they could ask some questions for an assignment. They spoke good English, got our jokes, asked good questions and thanked us for helping them.

The US is doing something wrong with parenting and education. Probably has been for decades and that could explain the issues we are seeing with young people's self esteem and self regulation.

Oh, man, yeah! When I was in Japan, at the Hilton Tokyo Bay behind Tokyo Disneyland, the lobby was just full of school-aged children obviously on some kind of special trip. In the US that would be a nightmare to have at your hotel, but these kids were quiet and respectful. They would stop to let us - their elders - walk past. We would see these groups in the parks, and they were having a good time and all, being kids and all sure, but never obnoxious or rude. Overally, the entire country is like that.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Oh, man, yeah! When I was in Japan, at the Hilton Tokyo Bay behind Tokyo Disneyland, the lobby was just full of school-aged children obviously on some kind of special trip. In the US that would be a nightmare to have at your hotel, but these kids were quiet and respectful. They would stop to let us - their elders - walk past. We would see these groups in the parks, and they were having a good time and all, being kids and all sure, but never obnoxious or rude. Overally, the entire country is like that.

I was walking out of a BK restaurant a few days ago. I do use a cane. As I was coming out, near the door, there was an Asian lady coming in. She was still on the outside, I was still on the inside. The doors had glass panels. She opened the door, held the door for me and sort of respectfully stepped aside to let me out. As I passed her and thanked her, she gave me a slight bow as is common with many Asians. I was really impressed. I think that even if I did not have the cane, it would have been the same.

 

[Genie+]

It's not just kids though. I stopped at a fast food place yesterday for lunch. Place my order, go to sit down, and I hear voices coming out of a speaker. I look over toward the source to see if there was a TV in the area. Nope, just a couple at a table and the male was watching a video on his phone with the speaker turned up loud.

I was only there for ~15 minutes, but the speaker was blaring the entire time. I considered saying something, or going over to them on my way out to ask about the video because it must have been entertaining, but got chicken.

Not sure if I did the right thing here lol

Had to bring DH to emergency eye doctor appt and was told 45 minutes for what doc needed to do in their small patient room. So I went to the waiting room. About 5 minutes into it, another lady calls her nephew in college, on speaker, and they proceed to have a loud exuberant conversation, full on boisterous like at a college keg party. After 5 minutes I went outside. Came back in 5 minutes later (winter). Another 5 minutes and I’m getting a headache - she’s still going. So I opened youtube on my phone and put on whatever video came up on full volume. Took about 3 minutes and then she got the hint.

The poor receptionist. She did look relieved once all the noise stopped.

Some people act like they’re always on display The worst part was the nephew joking about pretty private stuff, and here she is broadcasting it in public without him realizing.

 

[Kooks and Bay Bay]

I've definitely noticed over the past say decade. With the gentle parenting movement that kids are loud in inappropriate places and the parents either allow it or try to cater to them with ipads on full volume and since they live with it they don't even realize how unpleasant it is for everyone else anymore.

My parents taught us that we could play quiet games like I spy, telephone, or do the activies on the kids menu or, or if there were paper placemats we could play tic tac toe or see who could come up with the most amount of words using a bigger word etc.

I ask them now if we were as bad as some of these kids and they said absolutely not because if we were we would have never gone out to dinner at table service restaurants every Sunday.

I basically only recall one occasion where I don't remember what we were doing but we were getting loud and pouty and all it took was my dad coming in with a close deep "knock it off" and we stopped.

We also went to older relatives houses a lot (my parents being only children the relatives were more our grandparents age) we had plenty of fun rolling down the hill at our cousin's farm or playing cards in the hallway at my Aunt's house.

 

[georgina]

If you take public transportation you get it a lot also. I have started to bring noise cancelling headphones with me which helps some.

 

[_19disnA]

I like that airlines still require you turn your phone OFF (or at least to 'airplane mode') when in the air. Funny how those who otherwise constantly have their phone in their ear can somehow manage to live their life without it during the flight.........LOL. Personally, I would never approach anyone else in a public setting about their noisy children or the situation could quickly escalate since you just don't know how parents might react.

 

[Christine]

I like that airlines still require you turn your phone OFF (or at least to 'airplane mode') when in the air. Funny how those who otherwise constantly have their phone in their ear can somehow manage to live their life without it during the flight.........LOL. Personally, I would never approach anyone else in a public setting about their noisy children or the situation could quickly escalate since you just don't know how parents might react.

Oh you must not read the airline subreddits. Even with the phone in airplane mode, people are watching their shows and playing games with the volume on. Many complaints stem from parents letting their children do it with the volume fully up.

 

[NannyBeBe]

Our daughters knew from a very young age that when Dad or Mom spoke, they were expected to obey. It seems today that parents are afraid to discipline their children for fear that the kids will hate them or that they will call Protective Services. I would rather they not like me than they wind up in prison because they never learned to obey authority.

 

[barkley]

That’s what close captioning is for then.

I ADORE close captioning b/c people who appear on film no longer seem to know how to enunciate so close captioning helps one to understand what is 'actually' being said ( 'actualy' as in as close to whatever the transcriber heard b/c some of the close captioning is horribly inaccuracte on lower budget shows). I was surprised to recently read that the MAJORITY of close caption users are not in the older age groups-it's most popular with those under the age of 30 (63% compared to 29-30% for older age groups).

I have started to bring noise cancelling headphones with me which helps some.

same here-but I can't entirely blame it on how loud people talk. I've got crazy sensitive hearing (I put dh on notice a good week or two before a light bulb is ready to call it quits-i can hear some weird high frequency sound, don't get me started on dog whistles ) so I take my headphones to the movies and any outdoor events.

 

[leebee]

We can't tell children to lower their voices anymore. What they say is important and they should be heard, and it might hurt their self-esteem if we tell them to pipe down.