Inheritance (bunch of vultures)

[vickyBaby]

A family member passed away not too long ago. Another family member called me and said they hope the Will goes through probate soon so we can get our "Share." My mouth was probably hanging wide open at that point.

I promptly replied that I felt "X" should get everything and I wanted nothing.

This family member indicated "That is Not Going to Happen."

I am physically sick just thinking how "cold hearted" people can be. Someone dies and all the vultures look to see what they can get out of it.

 

[mom2boys]

I know what you mean VickyLyn. We have the same situation since FiL passed away in July. One of the four siblings is so worried that someone will get a dime more or an extra dish that she has lost her mind. She threatened to call the sheriff on her brother because he didn't call before dropping by with a document for her to sign regarding the executorship. (She had verbally agreed to his executorship.) We aren't even talking a lot of money. She is literally fighting over debt! In the meantime, his tennants are living rent-free.

 

[tedsmom]

Money makes people do strange things.

 

[spb999]

I'm with you vicky ..... I've already told my parents that I'm not expecting or looking for any big inheritance..... they should enjoy what they've earned ... they've already given me everything I need !

 

[Serena]

My mom's family fought over my grandma's stuff. She had no money, but she had antique furniture, that she bought when it was new.
They were fighting over who got what. I got out of there as soon as I could.

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

people get that way when someone dies, so sad. People don't stop and think, this is what isn't suppose to happen. More families fight over themoney after a death.

 

[RUDisney]

My Uncle ***hole took a different approach... he got POA before my Grandfather died and took everything he could... even sold GF's house to himself for $1.

When Gramps died in May, he told my Dad that he would give everyone what he thought was appropriate. He was not going to open up the will because my GF died with only about $700 in his checking account.

After his careful consideration, he decided that all of his surviving siblings should get $1,000. My Aunt who lives in Idaho wouldn't get anything since he sent her money to fly in for the funeral. My cousins whose mother died won't get anything because their mother didn't survive my GF.

The total assets before this looting was around $200K. If it was split between all of the siblings, they each would have gotten around $35-40K before taxes.

I told my parents to consider this their insurance that they will never have to see or hear from this low-life ever again. Money well spent, IMHO.

OTOH, when my DGM died, my Mom was the sole beneficiary. Gramma didn't have much. My siblings and I gathered at Gramma's house one afternoon for what we termed, "The Looting." It was the most friendly disposition of assets you could imagine. I got the bubble-framed picture of the Blessed Mother that I always loved. My sister and my parents each got a bedroom set, another sister got Gramma's dressing table. I don't remember what my brother got. The most important things that Gramma had were pictures. We each decided what originals we wanted and then got copies made for everyone else. These pictures are far more valuable to us than anything else we could have been left. I feel sorry for those peope who believe that the world, especially the dead owe them something.

 

[KimRaye]

Oh, this brings back 15 yo memories. Grandma had her house, thankfully held in trust and, I legally had the beneficiaries changed, as it had NOT been updated EVER! ALL with Grandma's approval, of course. My mom is 1 of 9 children and, at the time, was the sole care-giver for my Grandma so, Mom was appointed the Be-All, Do-All, with my Legal help. Grandma also helped, for quite some time during the last months of her life, she made lists of what SHE wanted certain people to have and, made lists of who had priority, regardless of her Will (which was really defunct since the house was held in a Land Trust). The only other things she had were personal belongings but, someone/everyone, had reasons for what THEY wanted. It was actually handled most efficiently and effectively. For the most part, no one wanted the 'task' so, my Mom's decision(s) was FINAL!! In the end, whatever $$ was 'left-over' was split 9 Ways!

My Mom was not out to 'cheat' anyone, apparently, and I, was lucky enough to be included in Grandma's list of priorities. If you KNEW some of the silly, insignificant, all non-monetary, PRECIOUS memory-type things that I kept, you wouldn't believe it! They only mean something to ME!! Memories of my Gammy! i.e. - A flour SIFTER!! No joke!! My Grandma didn't DO sifting but, when she died, she still had my Grandpa's flour sifter!! (He predeceased her) I have it now. And, I suppose at the highest end of $$ value, I did get her Sable jacket/cape. I wore it once as an adult and felt silly but, I wore it countless times as a young girl just playing 'dress up' at her house! I still have it, in storage and, I ALWAYS WILL! The most precious of items that I have, are 2 framed paintings on silk of me & my grandma, separately, painted in Korea, during the war!, that my Uncle sent to Grandma. They were copied/painted from wallet-sized photos that my Uncle carried. Precious to this day!!

I wish more people would NOT think about monetary gain after a loved one's passing but, think of the memories!! I miss my Grandma ALOT!! She was only a Great-Grandma for a few short months for my DS. I was her 1st grandchild and, my DS was her 1st & only great-grandchild, when she died. (Now, That picture, when I came 'home' with DS and, the 4 generations took a candid, that's another priceless memory for me!)

Poo-poo on the 'vultures', vickylan! Very sad!!

 

[ASFCurly]

we have had a problem with this already with my Grandmother and she isn't even dead yet. My Grandmother has 5 living children (one died at the age of 8) and 60 acres, there are two houses on the property, my grandmother lives in one house with my uncle and his family, they help her, she can't drive and they take her places and just help her out, I grew up in the other house with my Dad and siblings, my Dad takes care of the property, if neither of them lived there, the property would have been sold long ago. So the will says that my Dad's and Uncle's house and the immediate areas surrounding are theirs, the rest is split between them and their 3 sisters. My one aunt was so upset, she thinks that the houses should be included with what my Dad and Uncle get that she wouldn't come to family functions
.

 

[Tony-NJ]

In a town where there was lots of "old" money. If someone died, I would have families at my desk fighting over who got what from the bank accounts. I've even witnessed 2 sisters fist fighting!!

 

[Towncrier]

There are a couple of examples of this on Sue's side of the family, both having to do with greedy Gretchen (her brother Phil's wife).

When Sue's dad passed, Gretchen called Sue's mom to find out what Phil's share of the estate would be. She was shocked to find that EVERYTHING went to Sue's mom and that neither Phil nor Sue got anything. Of course they didn't get anything. Sue's mom is the surviving spouse.

When Sue's uncle Bill passed away a few years later, guess who was on the phone again. Uncle Bill's only surviving relative was Sue's mom, and he had willed everything to her. Over the years, Sue and I had visited Uncle Bill on many occasions. After Phil and Gretchen were married, they NEVER went to visit Bill. Not once. Until he died. Then they rushed down to his home to see what they could grab.

My parents picked me (oldest of 3 children) to be the executor of their estate. As I established myself financially, they decided that perhaps my younger brother should be named executor. He too is married to a real piece of work, so I suggested that my frugal sister be named executrix instead. I think that it is fortunate that they named her instead of my brother. I don't care if I get a cent from my parents when they pass away or if I get any of their possessions either. They gave me life. They give me love. Hugs from my dad and mom are worth more than all the money in the world. That's their gift to me.

 

[skuttle]

{{Hugs}}

I'm taking a Successions class this semester and some of the cases we've read are just awful!

 

[ripleysmom]

Sorry for your loss and to hear about this Vicky....

People can be vultures when it comes to money. A few years ago my mom was very ill, very close to dying. One of the worst days of my life was sitting there listening to my brother and his family deciding what they wanted if she died!! They basically looted her house verbally. They were just disgusting!!

 

[Towncrier]

After reading Jennifer's story about her DGM, I had to add our "good" inheritance story about Sue's Great-Aunt Ruth. We weren't particularly close, but if we were near her home, we always dropped by just to say "hi". Ruth's husband had died many years ago, so she lived alone. Sue's uncle Bill that I mentioned in my previous thread did his best to take care of Ruth. She had a nice home and was comfortable in her waning years. On one of our visits, she noticed a tiny diamond heart necklace that I had given Sue for St. Valentine's Day. I was embarrased as the diamond in the necklace was little more than a chip. But it was the sentiment behind that necklace. Aunt Ruth understood that very well.

Several years passed and, one day, we got a phone call letting us know that Aunt Ruth had passed away, but not until it was too late for them to attend her wake. When Sue called the funeral home where the memorial service was to take place, she was told that the service had already started. Sue and her mom were devistated that nobody in Aunt Ruth's family had bothered to inform anyone on the Phillips side of the family of her passing. We said prayers for Ruth and mourned her loss.

A few weeks passed, and Sue got a registered letter from the attorney that was handling Ruth's estate. The letter informed her that Ruth had willed a piece of jewelry to Sue. Aunt Ruth had remembered our conversation all those years ago and decided that she wanted her great-niece to have her diamond heart pendant/broach. Sue's cousin was very angry that a "Phillips" had gotten such an expensive gift, but there was nothing that she could do about it since it was specifically mentioned in the will. Since Aunt Ruth and Uncle Jack didn't have any children of their own, she left one third of her estate to the three Methodist churchs that she and Jack had attended during their life together. The disgruntled cousin got her share of the estate, but obviously wanted more.

This piece of jewelry from Aunt Ruth means a lot to Sue. I'm sure that she will pass it on to our daughter Sarah someday and let her know just how special a gift it is. A gift of love from Aunt Ruth.

 

[MosMom]

My grandpa died 2 years ago and my mom and aunt still aren't speaking because they are in a fight over insurance money (actually my mom is the one mad...my aunt could care less). I miss my aunt and would like to tell her we had a baby boy but my mom would freak out if she knew I was speaking with her. *sigh*

 

[jldriscoll]

Towncrier... Thanks for sharing your story!! sounds JUST like something my DGM would do. Want to hear something amazing?....My Grandmother's name was RUTH!!!! (dd is Emily Ruth) Not a common name in my experience.....but obviously a GREAT one I can only hope my DD will do the name justice as she grows up!

 

[maleficent1959]

My SIL is a real piece of work and no one has even died yet! When DH's grandmother (now 98) moved out of her home two years ago everyone in the family met in Houston and helped empty her home. We all agreed that the best way to select items was to take turns. We all went and made our first choice, then second choice etc. What was amazing was that at the time there were no fights. Everyone got what they wanted, then when the "rounds" were done we decided what went to charity, church sales etc.

My SIL, in the meantime, cleaned out everything that was left. She took everything from the kitchen, old towels and sheets, she took all the food from the cupboards (including a half-eaten box of rice) and stuff that wasn't even fit for donating. DH's grandmother hadn't lived in the house for over a year -- goodness knows how many silverfish were living in that rice. Her son stopped her from taking the canned goods that were expired. By the time she was done there was nothing for charity, nothing for the church sale and her minivan was so loaded that DH's uncle had to rent a truck and bring the rest to her home three states away.

No one cared that she took all that -- it was stuff no one wanted. We just laughed. Now she complains that she didn't get her fair share and that everyone else got all the "good stuff." Believe me, she got plenty of beautiful things. She took her turns along with everyone else. She just took a lot of junk too.