Inappropriate talk on 3rd grade playground..

[akhenaten]

Thanks to everyone sharing book ideas and your stories...

 

[mamacatnv]

My DS told his K teacher and the entire class that he saw his parents having sex every morning.
Ya, his poor K teacher, got to take us aside and tell us this, then we got to the bottom of it.

Come to find out, DS thought kissing was sex and since Daddy kissed Mommy goodbye every day well, you see where this is going.

When DS was 4, he piped up from the back seat one day "what is a MotherF'er?" when we got over our shock and asked where he heard that word, "so and so" a fellow 4 year old in his preschool class.

I am old too and I remember when the boys in 2nd/3rd grade would gather on the playground with a contraband copy of National Geographic.
I don't think this is a new issue.

 

[BKMETV]

I haven't had the chat with my DD yet, I'm lucky she is in a school that is only Junior kindergarten to Grade 3, but I know next year when she is exposed to the older kids she going to get an earful....it unavoidable.

That said...I was also the mom who got the phone call when DD was 7...she was showing all the other little girls how to give the finger at a birthday party...the mother made a big deal out of it and phone all the parents...DD was mortified because she didn't realize it was that bad...picked it up from older kids on the playground.

 

[ccgirl]

Ok yeah.. she wants to hear it... that is a nasty comment... she is 8 years old... sound like you have a "blame the victim mentality" ( not that I am say DD is a "victim" just commenting on quoted attitude)

Of course I told her to not talk to them and I will reinforce that and also utilize the resources that have been suggested to teach DD!

I am not trying to control anyone.. but if adults don't teach children what is appropriate then who will?? Isn't that our responsibility?

I forgot to add to my other post that I would definitely say something to the teacher too. Totally inappropriate IMHO.

We have always had a very open relationship with my DD. If she hears a word, sees a gesture etc that she does not know the meaning of she is to come directly to us. SHe will NEVER get in trouble for asking the meaning of something. She has come to us with some real doozies. I tell her the meaning and if she is able to use that word/gesure (usually the answer is no).

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I remeber in 4th grade getting the "what's happening to your bodies" talk at school. The boys had a talk separate from the girls. When recess was on, I ended up finding out that boys talked about very different things than girls. You see, I was "one of the guys" and they totally were willing to share their knowledge. Well heck, I didn't think it was quite fair for the guys to be more informed than us, so I became the most informative girl on the playground.

Around the same time a girl firend of mine showed me her parents book of "positions".

Kids have been talking about this stuff since forever.

 

[agnes!]

...But I will say, that my Mom had the "talk" with me and my sister when we were in 4th and 3rd grade because of a Soap Opera. Someone was raped on All My Children and we wanted to know what they were talking about. We were not interested in the info at all at that age..... ...

Luke & Laura?

agnes!

 

[nuke]

Those kids are advanced and gifted to be talking about that in 3rd grade.

 

[LuvLDM]

OP, I think you are wise to see this as an opportunity to have *the* talk w/ your Dd, I know it stinks to have to do this when she still seems so young!

I think the American Girl book is a great start. I bought it for my Dd. My Dd (now 11) is extremely private & not comfortable discussing these things. While I think it's vital to keep the lines of communication open, I like that she can refer to the book & gradually become more comfortable asking me questions.

FWIW I don't think that kind of talk is unusual on a elementary school playground. I would just make it very clear to your Dd that she can always ask you what something means & you will be honest w/ her.

 

[Hannathy]

Ok yeah.. she wants to hear it... that is a nasty comment... she is 8 years old... sound like you have a "blame the victim mentality" ( not that I am say DD is a "victim" just commenting on quoted attitude)

Of course I told her to not talk to them and I will reinforce that and also utilize the resources that have been suggested to teach DD!

I am not trying to control anyone.. but if adults don't teach children what is appropriate then who will?? Isn't that our responsibility?

Sorry but yes she does! Unless they are holding her there (and that is a whole different issue!) she does not need to listen to what they are saying. Unless your recesses are vastly different than any I know the kids have pretty much free reign within an area. If a child is doing or saying something you don't like don't stay there go away.

Sometimes the "victim" does have some responsibility for the actions.
and by telling them not to talk you are controlling others.

I actually think it is rather appropriate for them to be talking among them selves. that is what kids are supposed to do, what kids have been doing since the dawn of time. They aren't standing up in church and announcing this, they are talking with other kids. Kids do this, Adults do this, what do you think you are doing right now on a discussion board?

 

[shortbun]

I think this is pretty typical that a few kids always want to talk about 'it.'
They should be told not to in a very clear way. I don't think they should be shamed just told it's innapropriate and could get them in big trouble.

 

[disfan07]

This is nothing new. I'm always surprised when parents seem so shocked about this happening. If you never expereinced this in elementary school, you probably lived a very sheltered life.

My mom remembers talks about this back in elementary school back in the 60s. My dad remembers these conversations during recess at CATHOLIC school back in the 50s.

We were being taught sex-ed (or FLE as it was called) starting in 4th grade. Believe me,....we were talking about this type of stuff in 2nd grade. Most of us had older siblings who had already started taking FLE. Do I think that it is necessarily appropriate for playground talk...not really. But IMO, is it worth worrying over. No. Tell your daughter to walk away and not listen.

 

[akhenaten]

My DS told his K teacher and the entire class that he saw his parents having sex every morning.
Ya, his poor K teacher, got to take us aside and tell us this, then we got to the bottom of it.

Come to find out, DS thought kissing was sex and since Daddy kissed Mommy goodbye every day well, you see where this is going.

When DS was 4, he piped up from the back seat one day "what is a MotherF'er?" when we got over our shock and asked where he heard that word, "so and so" a fellow 4 year old in his preschool class.

I am old too and I remember when the boys in 2nd/3rd grade would gather on the playground with a contraband copy of National Geographic.
I don't think this is a new issue.

That is way too funny...

Guess I am lucky she did not hear more in preschool..LOL

I guess I was sheltered/kept to myself.. I was in HS before I was friends with a boy who had his dads playboys under his bed!!

 

[akhenaten]

I remeber in 4th grade getting the "what's happening to your bodies" talk at school. The boys had a talk separate from the girls. When recess was on, I ended up finding out that boys talked about very different things than girls. You see, I was "one of the guys" and they totally were willing to share their knowledge. Well heck, I didn't think it was quite fair for the guys to be more informed than us, so I became the most informative girl on the playground.

Around the same time a girl firend of mine showed me her parents book of "positions".

Kids have been talking about this stuff since forever.

I have an older daughter and she did not have these conversations LOL but maybe she did not hang with the boys as much as my youngest is ... good point!

 

[Momvic5]

When my ds15 was in the 3rd grade, he and his friends looked up every bad word they knew in the dictionary while at school. He said they all knew the words, but they didn't know what they meant so they used their library time wisely and educated themselves.

I was a very sheltered kid too, but I learned everything I needed to know while at school on the playground. Only in my situation, it was a little girl who educated us all. When I was in the 2nd grade, my favorite aunt became pregnant. I was so excited and told my friends. This little girl told us step by step how my aunt got pregnant. I remember insisting she did not do that - that was disgusting!