In search of my body...not the one I ate!

[SeptemberGirl]

I love you both for that!

Ok, let me explain...just so you don't think I sit around and whine about 5 vanity pounds. I don't think it matters if you are a size 8, a size 18 or a size 28...it just plain ol' sucks to be the heaviest person in the room. And as odd as it may seem, that happens to be my situation. Even at this size. I am the heavist mom in my DDs class.

And so, I have let that become part of my identity (even though I hate it). It's like, if I acknowledge and openly call myself that, then that takes the power away from the others who are all thin. And I don't mean normal thin. These women are super-model thin. Size zero thin. String bikini even after having 3 kids thin. So even though I am "average," I feel like a hulking mass next to these women.

Here is an example from the pool club. (Oh yeah, I have to sit around in a bathing suit all summer with these folks....such fun.) One of the women had been really ill and lost a bunch of weight because of it. (And she was like a size 2 to begin with...yeah, like why the hell couldn't I get that bug? Or someone who could really use it??? But I digress...) Anyway, so she is commenting that she likes her new lower weight and is going to try to maintain it. And then she turns to the other skinny sitting with us and says, "Promise me you'll tell me if I get too thin." Seriously....this woman's biggest concern was getting TOO THIN!

I don't mean to villify them, as that really isn't fair. They are good people and have always been kind. They definitely consider me one of their close friends. But when this is my reality, it is hard to have any real perspective, if that makes sense.

Sure, there are other people in my town who are average, chubby, and obese. This isn't Stepford, after all. However, it just so happens that everyone in my circle and seemingly everywhere I go...I am the chubby one in the group.

My tennis team starts up again in two weeks. I love tennis. It is a total passion, and I am the captain of my team (all moms). Again, I am the heavist one there. And tennis outfits are SHORT and TIGHT. There is no hiding your flaws there. Obviously, they don't hate me or make fun of me or alienate me for being above a size 2...they all wanted me to be Captain (it is definitely a popularity contest type of thing more than anything else, so they like me and consider me a friend), but it gets to you after a while when everywhere you turn, you get slapped in the face by the fact that you are bigger than those around you.

And so, I let being the "chubby mom" become part of my identity. And I am desparately trying to shed that. Not so that I fit in with the skinny moms. But so that I have a healthier self-identity. And so I can once again be comfortable in my skin. I will likely not see a size 2 ever again, and I am totally ok with that. But my TRUE self-identity is definitely someone who is healthy and athletic and in great shape. I was always an athlete...and then a fitness trainer and aerobics instructor. I really miss how I felt about myself then. Like I said, it was a huge part of who I was. And I totally lost that part of me.

Anyway, sorry to get all dramatic on you guys! Just trying to explain why I get frustrated and why these are more than just vanity pounds for me.

And FYI--for those who follow the BMI numbers (I know a lot of you do not put any stock there), but according to those charts and scales, I am still in the overweight category by about 4 pounds. So, even the chart says I am a chub!

But that is why I am so obsessive about the running. I am really trying to identify with that...so I can start to think of myself as the Marathon Mom instead of the chubby mom.

Ok, I'm done. Bring on the funny!

I totally get this. I think what we are all trying to tell you is, in the land of reality, you are not chubby. You are fit and active and God knows you could outrun me any day (as well as out cake-decorate me). There will always be someone thinner, smarter, with better kids and a bigger house whose husband never says stupid things. I swear it won't be me, but there will be someone like that. But you have done awesome, and 5lbs or not, you are fine just the way you are. If you want to lose those 5lbs, we will cheer you on, but if you don't, you haven't failed.

You are not the chubby mom - you're the friend who says the right thing, who makes us laugh, who cries with us, who we want to be with. That's why you're captain.

Weight loss is all about you, so do what you have to so you feel good. We see the same thing those skinny minnies see, and that's our awesome friend.

 

[HockeyKat]

Erika, I do understand. Just want to clarify, that to us, you look great.

So, as you requested, here is as close as I can come to before/after. I was already down about 15 lbs in the before pic. I didn't take a true one, although I might be able to lift something half-a$$ from our Jan '07 trip video.

 

[3DisneyKids]

OMG Kat!!!! How awesome! You look SO great! You have really lost a lot in your face....and all over. Truly stunning!

ANd SG--it is actually 15 pounds...lol....I was just making a point. If it was really only 5 pounds...heck, even I wouldn't complain about that! But thank you so much for what you said!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Do I smell Hershey Kisses?

 

[3DisneyKids]

Do I smell Hershey Kisses?

I knew that would bring you out!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I love you both for that!

Ok, let me explain...just so you don't think I sit around and whine about a few vanity pounds (I have about 15 pounds left to go). I don't think it matters if you are a size 8, a size 18 or a size 28...it just plain ol' sucks to be the heaviest person in the room. And as odd as it may seem, that happens to be my situation. Even at this size. I am the heavist mom in my DDs class.

And so, I have let that become part of my identity (even though I hate it). It's like, if I acknowledge and openly call myself that, then that takes the power away from the others who are all thin. And I don't mean normal thin. These women are super-model thin. Size zero thin. String bikini even after having 3 kids thin. So even though I am "average," I feel like a hulking mass next to these women.

Here is an example from the pool club. (Oh yeah, I have to sit around in a bathing suit all summer with these folks....such fun.) One of the women had been really ill and lost a bunch of weight because of it. (And she was like a size 2 to begin with...yeah, like why the hell couldn't I get that bug? Or someone who could really use it??? But I digress...) Anyway, so she is commenting that she likes her new lower weight and is going to try to maintain it. And then she turns to the other skinny sitting with us and says, "Promise me you'll tell me if I get too thin." Seriously....this woman's biggest concern was getting TOO THIN!

I don't mean to villify them, as that really isn't fair. They are good people and have always been kind. They definitely consider me one of their close friends. But when this is my reality, it is hard to have any real perspective, if that makes sense.

Sure, there are other people in my town who are average, chubby, and obese. This isn't Stepford, after all. However, it just so happens that everyone in my circle and seemingly everywhere I go...I am the chubby one in the group.

My tennis team starts up again in two weeks. I love tennis. It is a total passion, and I am the captain of my team (all moms). Again, I am the heavist one there. And tennis outfits are SHORT and TIGHT. There is no hiding your flaws there. Obviously, they don't hate me or make fun of me or alienate me for being above a size 2...they all wanted me to be Captain (it is definitely a popularity contest type of thing more than anything else, so they like me and consider me a friend), but it gets to you after a while when everywhere you turn, you get slapped in the face by the fact that you are bigger than those around you.

And so, I let being the "chubby mom" become part of my identity. And I am desparately trying to shed that. Not so that I fit in with the skinny moms. But so that I have a healthier self-identity. And so I can once again be comfortable in my skin. I will likely not see a size 2 ever again, and I am totally ok with that. But my TRUE self-identity is definitely someone who is healthy and athletic and in great shape. I was always an athlete...and then a fitness trainer and aerobics instructor. I really miss how I felt about myself then. Like I said, it was a huge part of who I was. And I totally lost that part of me.

Anyway, sorry to get all dramatic on you guys! Just trying to explain why I get frustrated and why these are more than just vanity pounds for me.

And FYI--for those who follow the BMI numbers (I know a lot of you do not put any stock there), but according to those charts and scales, I am still in the overweight category by about 4 pounds. So, even the chart says I am a chub!

But that is why I am so obsessive about the running. I am really trying to identify with that...so I can start to think of myself as the Marathon Mom instead of the chubby mom.

Ok, I'm done. Bring on the funny!

OK. I SO TOTALLY GET THIS. I am the oaf in the room too. I don't know how/when everyone got so skinny. We went out to dinner the other night, and more than I can count, good looking, older women came in to stand in line too. (I don't mean old, just older than me. My age and older is who I can compare myself too. Obviously I am out of the 20's league now.)

I am constantly sizing everyone else up. They all looked so good. What happened to moms getting bigger and everyone was ok with that? Everyone takes such great care of themselves anymore and I can't seem to mature enough to put the will above the want.

You guys are inspiring. But I am low enough, that I still make horrible, horrible decisions. I am happy for you, but still can't make myself feel better without the "Fat Camp Coma." I actually bought Nutty Bars after Dawn told that story. That was a story of "don't do this," BUT NOT ME, I'll give er a try.

Gosh, I got off topic fast.

Erica, I understand. You still see yourself as the chubster. I hope eventually you'll be the marathoner in your head. (And your husbands head too.)

And...TENNIS. Your a tennis champ too! I swear. Could you be any more Type A? I suppose you're A, B & C!!!

And another thing, while you see yourself as chubs, no one else does. That's not how YOU define bigger people. You are only passing judgement on yourself. You gotta get out of your head.

Hershey Kisses help. Danmit, there I go again. Sick I tell ya, Sick!

Wait! You have to tell us about the GOATS! How was labor? Are you a goat grandma?

And WOO HOO for a trip in 48 hours!!! SOOOOO Jealous! But definitely happy for you because I know how much you need to get away.

Agreed

I totally get this. I think what we are all trying to tell you is, in the land of reality, you are not chubby. You are fit and active and God knows you could outrun me any day (as well as out cake-decorate me). There will always be someone thinner, smarter, with better kids and a bigger house whose husband never says stupid things. I swear it won't be me, but there will be someone like that. But you have done awesome, and 5lbs or not, you are fine just the way you are. If you want to lose those 5lbs, we will cheer you on, but if you don't, you haven't failed.

You are not the chubby mom - you're the friend who says the right thing, who makes us laugh, who cries with us, who we want to be with. That's why you're captain.

Weight loss is all about you, so do what you have to so you feel good. We see the same thing those skinny minnies see, and that's our awesome friend.

Doubly Agreed

Erika, I do understand. Just want to clarify, that to us, you look great.

So, as you requested, here is as close as I can come to before/after. I was already down about 15 lbs in the before pic. I didn't take a true one, although I might be able to lift something half-a$$ from our Jan '07 trip video.

kittyKAT, you look so great. This is the direction your life needed. I am super proud of you, and living vicariously through you.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Kat, I just can't seem to fully express just how good you look.

You know how weight creeps up. And you don't realize your heavy until, OMG, you realize your heavy.

In the first picture, you are heavy.

In the second picture you are healthy.

 

[3DisneyKids]

OK. I SO TOTALLY GET THIS. I am the oaf in the room too. I don't know how/when everyone got so skinny. We went out to dinner the other night, and more than I can count, good looking, older women came in to stand in line too. (I don't mean old, just older than me. My age and older is who I can compare myself too. Obviously I am out of the 20's league now.)

SO TRUE! I feel the same way about the way I dress as I do about my weight. Now, I am no fashion plate, and this is fine with me. Just not who I am. But I usually walk out the door thinking that I am at least in decent shape in terms of my outfit. Then I see everyone else and I am like...how do I not ever have the right clothes???

You guys are inspiring. But I am low enough, that I still make horrible, horrible decisions. I am happy for you, but still can't make myself feel better without the "Fat Camp Coma." I actually bought Nutty Bars after Dawn told that story. That was a story of "don't do this," BUT NOT ME, I'll give er a try.

Hmmm...we need to come up with some sort of motivation for you. I will work on that....

And...TENNIS. Your a tennis champ too! I swear. Could you be any more Type A? I suppose you're A, B & C!!!

OMG, NO...I am not a champ. I totally suck....I just love it. It's like Kat and hockey. It is just so much fun for me and I really don't care that I am not very good. And no...not type A. More like ADD! I just get so interested in so many things that I give it a try. And so I have a lot of experience doing a ton of things...but am not an expert at any!

And another thing, while you see yourself as chubs, no one else does. That's not how YOU define bigger people. You are only passing judgement on yourself. You gotta get out of your head.

Yeah, I am sure you are right about this. Living with an adonis doesn't help. His body image is really warped. He is like 6% body fat (to put it in perspective, we need a minimum of 3% body fat just to live) and all solid muscle. And GOD FORBID he gains like 2 pounds (which is not noticeable at all). He is like "I am such a lard a$$ right now...omg, I am disgusted with this gut..." And of course that makes me think, "cripes, if that is what he thinks about HIS body, what must he think about MINE?!?!?" And so it goes.

Yeah, there are a lot of pieces to my brand of crazy.

Hershey Kisses help. Danmit, there I go again. Sick I tell ya, Sick!

My secret desire is to swim in the choloate river from Willy Wonka!

kittyKAT, you look so great. This is the direction your life needed. I am super proud of you, and living vicariously through you.

SO SO SO true!

 

[Pixieshouse]

Boy there are a lot of posts today!

Dawn - he is a PUTZ what an idiot. I can't even find words to describe what I feel about him.

Lets see, Tween....I really don't know how that came about. It was Tweener and then shortened to tween. I don't know why

I am still having problems with vertigo. I have an appt. and took a vallium last night. That seemed to help for most of the day. Hopefully we can figure this out and then I can start to get exercising again. Right now the thought of exercising makes my head spin even more!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Morning!

I have a 4.5 miler scheduled this morning and had to pop in here for some inspiration. I am tired and sore and want to take a nap on the couch after I get the kids off to school!

Alright, time to man-up! (A sexist phrase that I actually hate, but it has become part of my running routine. When I get cranky like this, I have to just say to myself "man UP, M-F!!!" )

Whatever works, right?

Think SSR pool....think SSR pool....think drinks and pedicure...think shorts and bathing suits...think laughing till it hurts....think getting Disney prictures that I actually LIKE...k...I am getting motivated.

I'll report back after I earn my crown for the day....

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Good morning! Going to Em's preschool orientation today. Please explain why it's in April, and not August or something, because what preschooler is going to remember their new school enough to feel comfortable??? Ah, well. I suspect it's more for the teachers to observe and put the kids into classes - mix up the mature and not-so mature ones so the teachers can stay sane.

Have a good day, everyone!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Good morning! Going to Em's preschool orientation today. Please explain why it's in April, and not August or something, because what preschooler is going to remember their new school enough to feel comfortable??? Ah, well. I suspect it's more for the teachers to observe and put the kids into classes - mix up the mature and not-so mature ones so the teachers can stay sane.

Have a good day, everyone!

Get moms' names and phone numbers so that you can set up playdates over the summer and that way Em has some friends on the first day of school. And believe it or not, Em will definitely remember this...she will likely talk about it all summer (not like every day, but she'll be somewhere and see a toy that reminds her of one she saw at the school and say "that's like at my school!" They should have a sneak-a-peak in August as well to get everyone ready to come to school. Have fun!

Ok, so I "manned up" and did my run! I felt like Nancy this morning...just talking to myself the whole time..."maybe I can stop now...I know it is early, but at least I have done SOMETHING." and then "Shut up and keep running. Don't be such a wimp!" And on and on until I finished the run.

 

[HockeyKat]

OK. I SO TOTALLY GET THIS. I am the oaf in the room too. I don't know how/when everyone got so skinny. We went out to dinner the other night, and more than I can count, good looking, older women came in to stand in line too. (I don't mean old, just older than me. My age and older is who I can compare myself too. Obviously I am out of the 20's league now.)

I am constantly sizing everyone else up. They all looked so good. What happened to moms getting bigger and everyone was ok with that? Everyone takes such great care of themselves anymore and I can't seem to mature enough to put the will above the want.

You guys are inspiring. But I am low enough, that I still make horrible, horrible decisions. I am happy for you, but still can't make myself feel better without the "Fat Camp Coma." I actually bought Nutty Bars after Dawn told that story. That was a story of "don't do this," BUT NOT ME, I'll give er a try.

Gosh, I got off topic fast.

Erica, I understand. You still see yourself as the chubster. I hope eventually you'll be the marathoner in your head. (And your husbands head too.)

And...TENNIS. Your a tennis champ too! I swear. Could you be any more Type A? I suppose you're A, B & C!!!

And another thing, while you see yourself as chubs, no one else does. That's not how YOU define bigger people. You are only passing judgement on yourself. You gotta get out of your head.

kittyKAT, you look so great. This is the direction your life needed. I am super proud of you, and living vicariously through you.

Kat, I just can't seem to fully express just how good you look.

You know how weight creeps up. And you don't realize your heavy until, OMG, you realize your heavy.

In the first picture, you are heavy.

In the second picture you are healthy.

Thanks!!! And you summed it up so well. The weight just creeps up... you think, one more hershey's kiss, beer, whatever, won't hurt me since I am already doing badly... and in the end, at least for me, I wound up at 220 lbs. My real wake-up call for the last go'round of weight loss, was shopping for WDW clothing for my Jan '07 trip and realizing that no way was I actually a 16 anymore. I walked into Lane Bryant, looked around, left, went back to my car, and cried. When we got back from the trip, I basically said I am NOT going to be this person anymore.

Every individual needs to get to this point themselves. And it is HARD. It is so much easier to go with the flow, and use the food or alcohol to make us feel better, and if one chip or candy bar makes us feel better, then MAN, the whole bag will be that much better... and each time it takes more to feel better... I so, so understand.

Honey, whenever you are ready, we will be there for you. And we will be there for you even if you are never ready. This isn't just for weight loss and motivation, this is also for friendship and unconditional support.

I have tried before (in the post-D years) to lose weight, and gotten down to the 180-190 point, but gone right back up. I really think that it is you all (and the Peep thread too) that have been the difference for me. I am also in a much better place with my job, and I have the offline support as well that I have not had in many years.

Speaking of which... I am going to Charlotte on Sunday night/Monday for a work meeting. For some of you, that may ring a bell...

 

[3DisneyKids]

Speaking of which... I am going to Charlotte on Sunday night/Monday for a work meeting. For some of you, that may ring a bell...

HOLY CRAP! How do you feel about this? Nervous? Excited? Confused?

As for the rest of your post...so ture and I totally agree. I have tried many many times in the last several years. And I have had some successes...getting half way there, feeling somewhat comfortable, and then gaining it back. Round and round. But having a support group this time...man, what a difference!

As Kat said, the time just has to be right. I can't tell you what "flipped the switch" for me this time. (I suppose if I knew that, I would be a ga-jillionaire.) I just know that I feel like I wasted my 30s...not being in pictures with my kids when they were babies and toddlers because I hated how I looked. Not wanting to get dressed up and go out. Turning down really important career opportunities because it meant having to be on camera. All because of what? Wanting to eat stuff that was bad for me anyway? I am done with that...with feeling that way, with looking that way...and with letting it affect my behaviors.

I know some of us here are struggling with getting started and some are struggling to keep going. That is OK. We are here for whatever you need us for...friendship, support, encouragement, motivation, someone to biatch to and dump on...whatever. At some point, something will click for you....and then...watch the F out! Cause you will be on FIRE!

 

[born2bird]

I know, I know...I need to get over it, right? But OMG Erika could still kick my a$$!!!

Contrary to what she believes, she could kick lots of our a$$es. Lord knows she would leave me in the dust.

Eh. I drank my calories! A nice vanilla vodka and Diet Coke. Yum.

Man that sounds good and I am not even a drinker.

Ok, I am sure that Kat knows this, but I sure as heck didn't....

Did you know that ONE single Hershey's kiss has 25 calories in it? And I mean, really, who only eats just one???

A little part of me died when I read that

However, 1-5 is a LONG time for a face-to-face meeting w/ 10 people in a room. We did go through all the issues, though, and I think that we reassured the people that needed reassuring, so that will maybe make my life a bit easier in the future. Doubtful, though, they likely reverted to a$$holes as soon as they got back in the car!

And Erika, you are NOT chubby!!

1-5..death by meeting..YIKES! I hope it ends up being worth it.

ANYWAY...a quick drive-by for me...been the week from he!!... ...and we leave Friday A.M for DISNEYWORLD!! I can't tell you how badly I need this vacation. If I do nothing but park myself by the pool I'll be happy (yeah, right! ) Hoping to have more time to check in tomorrow...

Lucky dog!! I can't wait to hear all about your trip. Soak up some of that sunshine for me. My lily white limbs glow in the dark.

Ok, so I "manned up" and did my run! I felt like Nancy this morning...just talking to myself the whole time..."maybe I can stop now...I know it is early, but at least I have done SOMETHING." and then "Shut up and keep running. Don't be such a wimp!" And on and on until I finished the run.

I knew you would get er' done! Just for the record, regardless of how you see yourself, we all think you are gorgous. You live in the land of the freakishly thin. I did not know this about Maine. I will not be visiting anytime soon... Seriously, I know what it is like to have a completely distorted body image and it is such a struggle to get out of your own head. I never believed what anyone told me and now when I look at the the pictures I have to admit that they were right. You are a knock-out and I hope that one day you will see what we see.

Good morning! Going to Em's preschool orientation today. Please explain why it's in April, and not August or something, because what preschooler is going to remember their new school enough to feel comfortable??? Ah, well. I suspect it's more for the teachers to observe and put the kids into classes - mix up the mature and not-so mature ones so the teachers can stay sane.

Have a good day, everyone!

We had DS3's orientation for preschool in July and he started in September. He really did remember it and would make reference to his "school" often. I hope she loves it! I think the playdate idea ia a really good one. I am not one for setting-up playdates just because I feel so odd approaching other moms to ask for phone numbers. Most of them are wealthy SAHM's (good for them) and are super domesticated and very put together and I am, well, not.

Back to work...no meetings today so I am thankful for that small luxury.

 

[born2bird]

Speaking of which... I am going to Charlotte on Sunday night/Monday for a work meeting. For some of you, that may ring a bell...

I have no idea what this is about but I hope it is a good thing for you and not just a working weekend.

 

[3DisneyKids]

We had DS3's orientation for preschool in July and he started in September. He really did remember it and would make reference to his "school" often. I hope she loves it! I think the playdate idea ia a really good one. I am not one for setting-up playdates just because I feel so odd approaching other moms to ask for phone numbers. Most of them are wealthy SAHM's (good for them) and are super domesticated and very put together and I am, well, not.

YES! This is it exactly! I hate the "ballet moms." Meaning the perfect moms who seem to be able to do all of this kid stuff with grace and ease, all while being thin and sugary sweet. (I know that SG Liz is in this boat as well.) They are thin, dressed perfectly, have the most immaculate houses, expensive SUVs, have freshly baked whatever for the playdate...and on and on. And then there is me...no make-up, wearing fleece, jeans, and crocs--dropping f-bombs left and right. I swear to God I think some of them have mild heart attacks the first time they hear it.

Nothing like a Matha-freakin'-Stewart Wannabe to make me feel inadequate.

I was just not born with the baking-sewing-cleaning-decorating-scrapbooking-cutesy crafty gene. And yes, it better all be on one gene because if it isn't then I am missing half of my DNA!

 

[born2bird]

YES! This is it exactly! I hate the "ballet moms." Meaning the perfect moms who seem to be able to do all of this kid stuff with grace and ease, all while being thin and sugary sweet. (I know that SG Liz is in this boat as well.) They are thin, dressed perfectly, have the most immaculate houses, expensive SUVs, have freshly baked whatever for the playdate...and on and on. And then there is me...no make-up, wearing fleece, jeans, and crocs--dropping f-bombs left and right. I swear to God I think some of them have mild heart attacks the first time they hear it.

Nothing like a Matha-freakin'-Stewart Wannabe to make me feel inadequate.

I was just not born with the baking-sewing-cleaning-decorating-scrapbooking-cutesy crafty gene. And yes, it better all be on one gene because if it isn't then I am missing half of my DNA!

We are totally sistahs from another mistah!! I do not do crafty, if I am not at work or going someplace "nice" I am in comfy clothes and shoes, my hair is in a ponytail 98% of the time, and I wear make-up maybe 4 times a year. 2 dogs, 2 birds and 2 kids does not make for an immaculate house and I do not bake or cook for that matter. What can I say, I am geneticly challenged...

 

[goofyfan-12]

YES! This is it exactly! I hate the "ballet moms." Meaning the perfect moms who seem to be able to do all of this kid stuff with grace and ease, all while being thin and sugary sweet. (I know that SG Liz is in this boat as well.) They are thin, dressed perfectly, have the most immaculate houses, expensive SUVs, have freshly baked whatever for the playdate...and on and on. And then there is me...no make-up, wearing fleece, jeans, and crocs--dropping f-bombs left and right. I swear to God I think some of them have mild heart attacks the first time they hear it.

Nothing like a Matha-freakin'-Stewart Wannabe to make me feel inadequate.

I was just not born with the baking-sewing-cleaning-decorating-scrapbooking-cutesy crafty gene. And yes, it better all be on one gene because if it isn't then I am missing half of my DNA!

I feel your pain. While I try to do the crafty thing from time to time, I am not Martha Stewart and am thrilled that I never will be. Who wants to live with that kind of pressure... Besides, Martha always looks like she has some sort of bug up her butt.... How fun can that be....

Aside from always feeling like the chub in the room, I get the added fun of inevtitably being under dressed when meeting people after work. Whether it is meeting friends or going to a meeting, I always feel like a schlub... My personal horror is going to a committee meeting after work for the volunteer work only to walk in and find myself totally underdressed in comparison to the other ladies who are there.... The ladies who lunch crowd is perfectly coiffed, dressed and have all of their materials neatly laid out in front of them with coordinating Vera Bradley accessories and then there is me. I walk in with muddy shoes, hard hat hair, sweaty brow and am lucky if I have my materials in a file as opposed to having them all in a pile with a binder clip. On a good day, I may even have a shot at putting on lipstick before I walk in the door, but it is not likely. I have serious issues with the fact that I don't look feminine at all when I am dressed for work. I walk around the NYS Capitol all day and have people looking down on me because of the way I dress and because of my size.... If they only knew what I am capable of despite my appearance they would be shocked....

I say we take 'em on.... I'm sure we can all run circles around them...

I have my big dinner tonight with the cool shoes.... I'll even find a work photo so you can see the transformation...

Talk to you later,
Paula

 

[HockeyKat]

Okay, this is my take on the perfectly put-together types... I guess some part of me is envious, well, at least of the put together part. But most of me is really almost proud to be an individual. I have learned to embrace the parts of me that make me ME. I am not a SAHM mom type. I am a geek, I love hockey but hate sports in general, I don't like or want kids, I swear profusely, I only wash my hair twice a week, I don't have the perfect husband, body, hair, life, wardrobe or job. I cook haphazardly, crafts/sewing? what's that, baking is something I have heard about but have never tried, I only wear black shoes (with one exception my husband made me buy), I don't carry a purse, and I only get my hair cut twice a year. I am so not a typical "girl", that I think that most "ballet moms" would shudder at the very thought of my existence!!

But, I still consider myself successful, and honestly, *** anyone who cares.