In Search of My Body - Not the One I Ate... Vol. 6: Goddesses just want to have fun

[AKASnowWhite]

Hello everybody! So I finally got the guts to weigh myself and I am down 3 1/2 lbs, but I haven't weighed since before vacation. I'm excited and I feel like I am getting back on track.

SO close to using the dancing banana for that one. But, since I know how y'all feel about him...


Totally random. Have any of you seen that new family road trip show? Where they put them all in RV's and they go across historic rte 66? SO freakin' funny. This NYC family and an Arkansas family, trying to talk to each other. He says "yous all" and she's like ??? you mean y'all? he has no CLUE what she's trying to say.

Told you it was random.

My apologies Cathie. I don't know how the heck I missed it. Eeeek, I'll have to look back - Beyonce - all I think about is to the left to the left.....

Lisa, Lisa. Go back and read honey.

I didn't start as early as Amy & Erika but I have had more than my fair share tonight.


Thanks to all who asked - Seth is doing amazingly well. I'd be totally laid out, miserable. He just ate chicken, pasta, & bread for dinner. AND he hooked the scanner up to my computer. AND he hacked my facebook, the little sh!t.

Paula - good luck tomorrow. YES! Please text when you are done. Can't wait to hear all about it

now I'm just rambling...ack. too much red wine

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Also Nancy -

loved the grad picture.

Thanks


And Heidi - congrats on your loss thus far. Stop in now and then and let us know how things are goin', ok?

 

[amykab]

Nancy--glad to hear Seth is doing well. I think my experience is not the norm.

EE--WTG on the loss!!

went to a local microbrewery which finally has their own beer back on tap. Yum. Went to target after. Totally buzzed and got carded for buying wine! Yeah! got the hiccups on the way home (draft beer has that effect on me) and Little D was saying bless you everytime I hiccuped. I have had a couple glasses of wine since being home..

Cheers,
Amy

 

[3DisneyKids]

Holy crap! I actually do an hour of work and I come back to tons of posts!

Nancy--glad he is ok. I had mine done just a couple of years ago and remember the misery well.

Looks like it is cocktail hour just about everywhere tonight, eh?

Awesome loss, Heidi! Come back when you can...we'll be here!

 

[3DisneyKids]

PAULA! Hope you are already resting up for tomorrow's big ride! Weather looks perfect! Remember that you are part of a team, so you are not riding alone tomorrow!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

and Little D was saying bless you everytime I hiccuped. I have had a couple glasses of wine since being home..

That. Is. Precious.

My wisdome teeth extraction made me sick as a dog.

It was a banner week here for my non athletic girls. Molli made her first run on Wednesday and Maddi got one tonight. So exciting and pathetic all at the same time.

Paula!!!! I want the text too!!! Can't wait to hear the report. ASAP!!!! Missy.

Amiee - Yay for the loss.

Kelly and Cathie - lovely pics. Thank you!

 

[goofyfan-12]

Hi Team...

Bag is packed, breakfast is prepped and just needs to be cooked (steel cut oatmeal yum...) and I am as ready as I am going to be.

This girl is going to bed.

I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow and will post a report as soon as I can. I promise Lyz!

G'Night...

 

[lisaviolet]

Hi Team...

Bag is packed, breakfast is prepped and just needs to be cooked (steel cut oatmeal yum...) and I am as ready as I am going to be.

This girl is going to bed.

I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow and will post a report as soon as I can. I promise Lyz!

G'Night...

So excited for you!!!

And for me - race report!!!!

 

[lisaviolet]

Nancy! Drunk Nancy!

I did go back already. Carlos and Cathie have been together six and half years. He's about to move out of his parent's house. But he feels that he must be an "adult" ie not living at his parents to propose. So Cahie is not moving in until he does. So he's a sort of fiance.

And you took two words boyfriend/fance and made Beyonce. Funny Nancy.

I was happy that their story - that I somehow originally missed - was not a Beyonce song. Just my Nancy being cute. Better ending.

 

[cathie1327]

I was happy that their story - that I somehow originally missed - was not a Beyonce song. Just my Nancy being cute. Better ending.

OH yes, much much better than a Beyonce song

You know what line I adore from that song -

If I'm not your everything how about I'll be nothing - nothing to you at all. Just like it.

Love this line also...


Sooooo ironically, if my 'beyonce' keeps his shtuff up that he pulled this evening then it may be 'to the left, to the left!' Not really I guess, but he just really ticked me off tonight, and that line above applies pretty stinkin well right now!!!

Ugh. It's been a rough week. A rough coupla weeks.

I've been wanting to come on and share with ya'll but just haven't found the time, but since I am up now, and not terribly sleepy I guess i will...

So my grandpa passed away June 22nd. It's been really rough, I was very close to him. There's hasn't been a very long period of my life that I haven't seen him at least once a week, especially recently as I am living with my parents and he just lived a few streets over and my mom helped take care of him. He went peacefully and had been sick for a while, so I know that he is resting now and that it was time....but doesn't make it any easier.

Then there's my brother....well let's just say he's not really a very good person. Unfortunately. He's 17, will be 18 August 31st. He has been on probation since he was 13 or 14 and things just kept getting worse and worse until recently he's just really been completely out of control. They finally decided that it was best for him and everyone else to take him into custody on Thursday. He really was becoming a danger to himself. He's burned a lot of bridges with me over the years, and done a lot of hurtful things, so any relationship we had was ruined a long time ago, so I'm really a little relieved he's not here to cause chaos anymore, but it still hurts because it feels like just one more reminder of what he turned my family into.

Then there's this girl who used to be my best friend I guess....I dunno what happened to her. It's an awfully long story, but she just pretty much ditched me for a peice of crap dude and then ditched me even more when I told her he was a peice of crap then recently we had started talking again. She brought food for my family the day after we found out my grandpa had passed, then ignored me for two weeks and finally told me this past Wednesday that the reason was because she was mad at me because I didn't seem like I wanted to hang out when she was here, and when Carlos came through the door I paid more attention to him (we hadn't seen each other at all since we'd found out, and I went running to him because I really just needed a hug from him more than anything in the world), so she is mad and telling me about how I'm a bad friend and it really just aggrivates me, that in the day after my grandpa's passing, she thought it should have been about her. I can't help that I wasn't really in a social mood.

Argh. Then this tiff with Carlos tonight. Was nothing major, will probably blow over tomorrow, but still aggrivated me a lot.

Sorry to type a book here, but seriously needed to vent! The past few weeks have really not been well for me.

That chocolate has really been calling my name!!!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Cathie - that really IS alot of pressure wrapped up into a few weeks. I'm sorry about your grandpa. That just plain sucks and only time will ease the hurt. Your "friend" - well she sounds kinda selfish. Some friends are selfish and then there are the friends who know exactly how to be a friend. Give & take and support. Your brother, that's so sad. Maybe just sharing will help somewhat. As far as Carslos, I'm giving him the benefit and agreeing it's a tiff and will blow over.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

So can you believe I'm up this early on a Saturday? I know, it sucks. So the rest of you should wake up too!

We have a packed 4H day. 9am - skillathon for Molli - which is a series of tests to see how well she knows swine and has been taking care of all her related paperwork. Then in the afternoon, a project tour - our group will head to everyone's house to see all the livestock projects. We are the only big animal. Everyone else will be rabbits or chickens. Then a cookout and a lock in. So I will be childless this evening. WoooBABY!!!!

EriKa - are you home for a second weekend in a row?

Paula - I've got you on the brain, and sending good vibes north.

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hi. I had joined at the beginning of July, but I haven't been online to be able to check in. I just got my laptop back. I'm, again, way behind in posts.

I've lost 17 pounds so far (mostly water weight, probably). I haven't cheated yet, and I'm on my way to walking 3/4 of a mile (which is a lot for me).

I didn't want to just stop posting, so I thought I'd say I'm not going to post until I get more time to read and be supportive. I'm not sure when that will be.

Believe me - we have all had times we need to pull back and get our own stff in order but be here as much as you can and you will always grow and learn from this group.

You know what line I adore from that song -

If I'm not your everything how about I'll be nothing - nothing to you at all. Just like it.

I know of a few people who stayed with men (boys) who felt the need to proclaim that they weren't their ideal this or that.

To the left - to the left.

LisaV - I have heard that song a million times and for whatever reason was a song I just never pulled apart the words for.
Thank you a million times for quoting that. It has been three 1/2 years since Chad and I split and he is still mad as heck that our relationship wasn't good enough for me. He was the one who always said we were getting divorced, said he did not know after 16 years if he loved me or not and yet when I had had enough - was confused. I swear on everything that I hold important that he screams and swears at me at least 3 times a week. I let him go - but then that guilt part of me takes over and I wonder if I was being selfish - if wanting to be in a marriage with someone who is really glad they are married to you, is asking too much.

He loved or kids, did not spend every night out at the bar, there were some good times but at the end of the day - if we were with other couples - you just knew what you did not have. Chad loved everything about being married - but me.

Now of course he says that he was just not a good communicator, that of course he loved me - and when I point out we never sat together when we were out, that he told me he would always pick his friends from HS over me when they were beyond cruel (they all wanted Chad and his HS girlfriend to be back together and yes - they split up 21 years ago - 1 year before I came into his life but in small town Iowa, I am still an outsider) and that was the way it would always be - but he only saw them 5 times a year so what was the big deal, blah blah blah.

I LisaV - still had a hard time not feeling bad, because being WORTH being someone's everything was hard for me to accept. Deserving it. Feeling selfish for wanting more than what I had when I know that there are battered women ot there and men who make Chad look like a saint.

So I am sorry for the thesis paper this morning - but those words you wrote from that song, have helped me more than you will ever know - and maybe, just maybe, have helped me let go of some internal cr@p that I could not put a label on or describe.

Sooooo ironically, if my 'beyonce' keeps his shtuff up that he pulled this evening then it may be 'to the left, to the left!' Not really I guess, but he just really ticked me off tonight, and that line above applies pretty stinkin well right now!!!

Cathie - I meant to tell yo g\reat pic and thanks for trsting us enough to share your life a bit.

Sorry about your grandpa - Carsyn is named after my grandfather and he was my world since I was a kid. It will get easier.

As for your brother - let him take this time to grow and face his demons - because they are his - not yours.

Maybe see a clergy person or a counselor for yourself - it is a lot to go through and you deserve an outlet.

As far as Carlos - take Lyz's advice - give the situtation with Carlos some time - be eyes wide open - but fair and sometimes when there is so much going on in your own heart that is hurting - that is way harder to do then it seems.



So yesterday I came home to find my oldest son had a crisis and shaved his head.

He had been saying he wanted his hair cut - and yet he has been gone with friends or working when I have had the time to cut it. So he called me yesterday when I was talking to my sister - and could not wait for me to call him back to talk and find out when I would be home - so logically he shaved his hair off.

He looks Hispanic/Indian to begin with in the summer. Always tans almost beyond recognition (like he should not belong to our family) and that shaved head makes him look like Mexican gangbanger. In fact while gone to Mission Mexico a few years ago and he had done this for lice and heat -he had a hard time crossing back into El Paso because they did not believe he was a caucasian American like his passport showed.

I am not kidding - yesterday, my neighbor saw him and said he would not have known it was Treyner. Really tan, dark thick eyebrows and a strong nose.

I wanted to cry.

It may seen stupid but buzzed haircuts have never been my thing. Not once, not ever, even in the summer did I ever want to shave his head.

There was the Mission Mexico trip and twice after homecoming in football when they shave stupid designs in their hair and need to go bald after. I hated those times too.

I know if he was in the military he would have, I know it is not the end of the world. But since he was little, he has had glorious, thick, curly almost black hair and still when we watch movies as a family - once in a while he will lie on the couch by me and ask me to rub his head - and now - before he goes - if we get five minutes to do this - I will feel like I am rubbing a baboon hiney - not my son. So I was sad - and he looked at me like I had lost my mind when I looked like I was going to cry - so I stuffed it down - and just said he better hope his hair grows a bit before he leaves so I can shape it or since he is cheap and hates paying for haircuts - he will look like a chia pet in college!

That he did not think was funny - so I got even!
I will have to post a pic. I thought only women chopped there hair off on a crazied moment!

Paula - hope the race is going well - good thoughts to you this morning!
Nancy - glad Seth is feeling okay - hope he continues to heal well!
Lyz - look at you raising two future Olympic Softball stars! I want some pics!

 

[lisaviolet]

Cathie I agree with Lyz -that's a lot in a short time period. And mourning someone you love just brings out so much all around - it affects relationships as well. I'm so sorry about your grandfather.

Don't ever worry about sharing here. Personally, I take the cake on that one.

Mmmmmm - cake.

Dawn - You know darn well that's not poor communicating on Chad's part. I love it when people use "I'm a poor communicator" or my personal favourite "Except me as I am". (I'm sorry to use the laughing icon but that second one just makes me laugh)

Translation on both - when I say hurtful things - I'm not really responsible for them -you have nowhere to go to work it through with me - sorry. Too bad so sad.

We all make mistakes and are all imperfect but too many people refuse to except the power of words. Yes, we're all supposed to know that they are about the other person and not us. Ie. It's their crap and that's why they are saying them. But come on - yes some of us are more sensitive to hurt than others - but regardless we are human and sometimes words stick.

And the you are not my ideal this or that just makes me . Keep it to yourself and work it out yourself. Some things are not meant to be shared.

Here's another good one Dawn that I found recently -

Be thankful that those who do not respect or love you have left your life. Just give thanks.

Ie. Because if they stayed - just more of the same.

Or something like that.

 

[cathie1327]

LIsa, Dawn, Disney world delight (sorry don't know your name yet! )
Thanks so much ladies for the encouraging thoughts, it means a lot. I really just needed to vent and get this all off my chest, because it has been a lot for me to go through. I'm usually a pretty good person about handling stress and being what I need to be for/with other people, but with the mourning of my grandpa, I feel like I really need to be able to focus on ME for a little bit and quit worrying about others hurt feelings and whatnot, KWIM??? It will get better and easier, I know, so I am keeping my head up and barreling through until I get to the other side.

And Dawn-glad you liked the picture, it's the only senior pic I like so that's the one ya'll got!

I don't know why it's so easy to trust ya'll because I normally have a hard time opening up to people....but.....I must say that I have felt more welcomed here then anywhere else on the dis, and you are all just so supporting of each other and honest with each other, I guess it brought me out of my shell

Off to the Colorado Renaissance festival with Beyonce, future parents on law Beyonce's sister and two neices plus my friend Breanna and her adorable little Mackenzie.........

A day to get off with my camera and take some fabulous pictures....can't wait!!!!

 

[3DisneyKids]

PAULA! Race report! Can't wait! SO PROUD OF YOU!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Cathie - I love the Renissance Festival! Ours in MN is the biggest in the Nation and goes on for 2 months!

Ya know my son will be living in Colorado in less than 3 weeks and we will be driving past your neighborhood! P.M. me your nmber and maybe we can say hi!

LisaV - thanks for that other statement!

We are packing like crazy - the cabin we were assigned is huge! I am excited! Usually I guess they do not have the families up in this elite area of camp but due to the size of our group we will be! (The YMCA donates the space to the hospital every year and the normal cost for the cabin is $2,100 for a week plus the 3 meal a day plan for $150 a person. I am learning that this camp'd director at one point had a sister burned and treated at Region's Burn Center and thus his commitment to the families and it has been going on for many years now - the original sister is still comming now with her family.)

"Timber Wolf - sleeps 7, screened porch, two decks, two bedrooms and sleeping loft, fireplace, bathroom, two queen sized beds and three long twin beds."

This may just be nicer than my house - on a lake and with 3 Sauna's within walking distance - I am set! We never have been at a family camp - the kids never at church camp - I was as a child - and it should be a great time.

 

[SunnyB1066]

Cathie - I love the Renissance Festival! Ours in MN is the biggest in the Nation and goes on for 2 months!

Ya know my son will be living in Colorado in less than 3 weeks and we will be driving past your neighborhood! P.M. me your nmber and maybe we can say hi!

LisaV - thanks for that other statement!

We are packing like crazy - the cabin we were assigned is huge! I am excited! Usually I guess they do not have the families up in this elite area of camp but due to the size of our group we will be! (The YMCA donates the space to the hospital every year and the normal cost for the cabin is $2,100 for a week plus the 3 meal a day plan for $150 a person. I am learning that this camp'd director at one point had a sister burned and treated at Region's Burn Center and thus his commitment to the families and it has been going on for many years now - the original sister is still comming now with her family.)

"Timber Wolf - sleeps 7, screened porch, two decks, two bedrooms and sleeping loft, fireplace, bathroom, two queen sized beds and three long twin beds."

This may just be nicer than my house - on a lake and with 3 Sauna's within walking distance - I am set! We never have been at a family camp - the kids never at church camp - I was as a child - and it should be a great time.

Dawn - Sounds heavenly! Hope y'all have a great time.

Cathie Sorry to hear about your grandpa.

Paula - Can't wait to hear about the race!

 

[HockeyKat]

Lyz, just because you are up at 8AM on a Sat, doesn't mean that I am!!

Enjoy your kid-free night.

Cathie, wow, what a lot of stuff to go on in one short month!! So sorry to hear about your grandpa. As to your friend, well, it sounds as though it might be good to put some distance between you. Maybe she will mature and you can be friends again someday, but it sounds like she is more selfish than you need right now.

Have a great day!!



Paula finished her race and is off to relax for the day. Go Paula!! I am so freakin' proud of you.


I have a nice, cloudy/rainy day, to do absolutely nothing but sit right here on the couch. Happiness.

 

[lisaviolet]

Paula finished her race and is off to relax for the day. Go Paula!! I am so freakin' proud of you.

Thanks Kat!

Paula! Outstanding! Been thinking about you all morning. Can't wait to hear. And very proud of you and inspired!!