. You are a survivor and you need to remember that. My first husband was physically abusive and we share a lot of scars together, yours are just a lot deeper than mine. I am here to hold your hand through lots of this crappy crap though because I feel it too sometimes. 
One thing that you need to remember is that people will look at you however they look at you, big, small, ugly, beautiful and no matter how YOU feel about yourself, they will still see you the same way. Out of your control. You have to take charge of the things that are in your control, like eating and exercising and how you perceive yourself. You are a gift that you give to the people around you every day. You need to be the best gift that you can be and a gift that keeps on giving. You need to be the healthiest happiest gift that you can be. Positive on the inside is positive on the outside. Self-confidence comes from feeling good about yourself. You cannot move forward without it. As for attraction, my DH says I can rebuff ANYONE with one look. I call it my power look. I'll teach it to you someday! 
Good thing the real challenge does not start until Friday, I was up another pound today. I think it is more because DD14 is on TOM and my body is responding strangely to that. I hope anyway. 
) so if I keep that near me it should help.
to all that need them
Loved what you had to say...totally get it. And I am glad you let it out. The cathartic purges are good, no? And at some point we have to get together. I get up to Portland/Freeport regularly...but not further north too often. I am looking for a snowshoe buddy.... 
).
for cold relief. Erika, I do the early a.m. thing out of necessity not out of want. I very much dislike my alarm in the morning, every morning...
Took in all your words. Thank goodness you are not with him. First husband. to you. Your post really did inspire me. I knew I was unconciously eating again and it could have lasted a lot longer. So thanks. You're not that far north, are you? Jackman. Oh yeah I did French immersion one summer and my "family" wanted to show me where they snowmobile. Erika.
. If you can Google Earth my location it is Norridgewock, Maine. Say that three times fast.LisaV, take heart girl. You are so not alone in many aspects.
I live about an hour south of Jackman in Central Maine. About another hour and a half from Erika. I have been to Jackman too....on snowmobile...in fact I got a new one this year to try out....
Good early morning everyone.
Good God woman. You are up EARLY
Okay, LisaV, first up super
So, Lisa, for now try finding one thing that you hate about yourself every day and turning it into a positive thing and repeat it to yourself in a positive way 10 times a day. Seriously. You need to love yourself first.
Okay, I hope that was not really far out of line there. In as much as you sighed and smiled during my post, I cried during yours. Old feelings die hard.
I didn't find your post "out of line" at all. Quite to the contrary. It's always comforting to know that you are not alone in the things you are dealing with, and that there is someone who can help you thru those sometimes incredibly difficult patches
Okay, toodles
)
I'd be one nasty b!tch, that's for sure 
Have a GREAT time
Of course J doesn't get it...cause you know, he is one of those genetic freaks. He has fluctated a grand total of 7 pound since High School (he's 42 now). And notice I said fluctuated, not gained. The difference between his all-time lowest and all-time highest is 7 pounds. Not at all noticeable and doesn't need "fat" clothes, "thin" clothes, or my personal favorite, "fat-thin and thin-fat" clothes.
That's exactly like Stephen. He's been a 32x32 since high school. When he doesn't work out, nothing changes. He eats m&m's by the pound (I buy the big bag at Costco)...I make him keep them in his desk drawer - I do NOT want to see them (for those of you who don't know...he works at HOME...so his desk drawer is just right upstairs...
CHALLENGE--ok, so I think we have all signed in for it! Woo Hoo! I am happy to be keeper of the Challenge, as it helps keep me focused. If anyone wants me to add or change anything, just say so. Yes, we officially start Friday, but by all means...if you can start early, do! And every Friday I will update the Challenge Chart. For those that weigh-in on different days, you can just let me know and I will save it for the Friday post.
While I didn't specify a target weight loss, I will indeed weigh in on Fridays...
Between all you night owls and early birds...this thread gets no sleep
OMG. Just totally pictured Paula with a tiara attached to the top of her bike helmet
('cause you KNOW you're gonna be on a road bike soon...)
Wow. Thought I had quoted others too...not sure what happened...(maybe a luker crept in and stole my post?
) all with 50% off and...I bought my 'dream jeans' - 75% off! 
Thats the kind of math I like! 
[/URL]...I bought my 'dream jeans' - 75% off!
One problem, they dont quite fit yet. They are my motivation. I would kill for these jeans. When Ive got back to my target weight they will fit me, and I will make people weep with the fabulousness that is my new jeans!
