In Search of my Body...Not The One I ate...#3 "Crowning Goddesses As We Go"

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Have I mentioned that I hate it when you have a life?

It's nice to be missed anyway. I think back to the first pages of this thread and omg, I posted so freaking much. I think I have told you guys everything. Is that possible?

Steph - wooo, EriKa is very wise. I hope you take what she said in the spirit I know she said it. And I agree. Totally.

Paula - it just feels wrong that you won't be posting for a whole week. It's really not acceptable and you need to get a phone with internet. Tell your boss, mkay. Great job on the loss. Whoo Hoo you are going to Disney!

The Duggers are on. I hate the Duggers. Why oh why would you give JimBob and Co their own television show? It's like a cult.

 

[goofyfan-12]

It's nice to be missed anyway. I think back to the first pages of this thread and omg, I posted so freaking much. I think I have told you guys everything. Is that possible?

Steph - wooo, EriKa is very wise. I hope you take what she said in the spirit I know she said it. And I agree. Totally.

Paula - it just feels wrong that you won't be posting for a whole week. It's really not acceptable and you need to get a phone with internet. Tell your boss, mkay. Great job on the loss. Whoo Hoo you are going to Disney!

The Duggers are on. I hate the Duggers. Why oh why would you give JimBob and Co their own television show? It's like a cult.

Lyz - I am so quoting you when I start pushing for a new phone.... I know they will listen to you ....

Have fun this week... and don't worry, I'll catch up on my posting when I get back...

Paula

 

[3DisneyKids]

Ummmm, wait a minute. You aren't bringing a laptop???? This was not mentioned. This has not been approved....

 

[3DisneyKids]

Just did a full ab workout. Thanks, Lyz.

 

[HockeyKat]

Paula (although you are likely gone by now), great job on the loss!! And, fried stuffing balls?? With no recipe?

Lisa, thanks for the good thoughts. I am happy too. Feel MUCH better about everything than I did a few days ago.

Amy, you kick complete booty. So impressed with the 1/2!! Good luck with the 30 day shred, it was a killer for me even when I was in shape (which I am working toward again).

E, I am already deciding on beer. Y'all will have to email any favs, otherwise I will tend toward pale ales like Bass or Pale Moon, or maybe some Sam, or a good IPA... I like them a bit darker... I will likely go on a beer and supply run on Wed night or Thurs after the game. Everything will be in the cooler and packed up by 9AM on Fri, since I will leave straight from work, probably around 1-2PM. I have already worked out all Dec time off with my boss, and I have a .3 of a day to take so that will be Friday.

Tonight, I wanted to blow off hockey, but I went anyway. So glad I did. There were only 7 of us so it was a great workout... went an extra 15 min and the last 20-25 min were a 4 on 4 scrimmage (the 2 coaches pitched in and one was a psuedo goalie). Wow, legs were jelly by the end.

And tomorrow I may add insult to injury and go beat myself up at that lunch kickboxing class again. Took me until Fri last week to recover!

Food for today:
B: coffee
L: salad (150), ham/laughing cow wrap (150)
D: 2 cups chili (200)
S: 2-3 beers, not sure yet, still working on them! (300-500)

Total, ~800-1000? I meant to eat dinner but got caught up in what I was working on and didn't leave work until barely enough time to throw together my hockey gear and run out the door...


Oh, and one funny for today. My replacement at Big Brother Bank sent me an email today... to ask me for help in finding another job! Ha! She hasn't even made it 4 months. I guess I wasn't totally nuts in thinking that place was h*ll!

 

[amykab]

Wake up everyone!! Below are some of the options for the xmas card pic. I will probaby do a card where I can use 2-3 pics...

Have a good day everyone!!

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Paula, fried stuffing balls?? With no recipe?

Yeah, what she said!

Oh, and one funny for today. My replacement at Big Brother Bank sent me an email today... to ask me for help in finding another job! Ha! She hasn't even made it 4 months. I guess I wasn't totally nuts in thinking that place was h*ll!

OMG. That is funny and sad all at the same time.

They are all precious! But this would be my favorite. So adorable.

Off to ice 208 thumbprints. Lata.

 

[goofyfan-12]

Ummmm, wait a minute. You aren't bringing a laptop???? This was not mentioned. This has not been approved....

Erika - my family threatened sever bodily harm if I brought my laptop which would have meant no meet up on Saturday.... so I am going to be officially off the grid for a week... I figure I'll need to steal someone's internet enabled phone at somepoint so hang on to yours...

Amy - I like the same photo that Lyz picked. She is adorable...

OK - for your fried stuffing ball fans here is the recipie...

scoop golf ball sized mounds of stuffing and form into a ball
dip in beaten egg and then into seasoned breadcrumbs
pan fry in your favorite vegetable oil until golden brown and warmed through

don't say I didn't warn you... this stuff is addicting and tastes even better with cranberry sauce...

OK - I am turning off the computer now so I am off...

Have a great week everyone,
Paula

 

[3DisneyKids]

AMY--great pics! I agree with Lyz. That pic is my choice too--so cute!

LYZ--what are thumbprints? I am assuming a type of cookie?

Well, it is not yet 9am here and I already need a drink! Is that bad?

So today is the annual field trip to the Boston Ballet to see the Nutcracker. Cute, right? Not so much for the class mom. The kids have to come to school dressed appropriately for the ballet. Most do. But there are always the moms who forgot that today was the day. Even though I called and e-mailed all of them. Twice.

And if a kid shows up and is not dressed for the theater, well then the world freaking comes to a halt. The kids can't go if they aren't dressed appropriately. And of course, they are the ones who freak out when they walk into the room and realize that everyone else is all dressed up and they aren't. There are tears and tantrums and the whole lot.

However, I am a class mom goddess, right? I always have a stash of appropriate clothes in a variety of sizes so we can change the kid right there and avoid the whole tragedy. And unless a kid is truly a wildly different size than is the norm for that age, we are good. Shoes--eh--that is the hard part. Can't always make that happen and then we have to call the mom (who usually bursts into tears herself because she knows that she dropped the ball on this one), but the stars aligned today and we were able to scramble without too much ado, and all of the little darlings were dressed in their velvet and tights or ties or whatever. And they are blissfully on the buses and out of my hands. My job is done. But the drama of getting them on that bus--oy.

Ok, gonna get some work done, then go for a run followed by a hella strength training session.

 

[3DisneyKids]

Have a safe travel day, Paula! See you soon!

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Steph--you know I love you, right? I have some stuff to say and I hope you will hear it the right way. I know that you do such an AWESOME job with your kids...the way you manage all of the medical stuff--truly great.

But with Nate, here's the thing. A few pages back you posted that you hate being a step-mother. I almost posted this then, but I let it go. But clearly you are still having a hard time with that issue, so I thought this might help.

If you feel that way--that you hate being a step-parent--then Nate is definitely picking up on that. And if he is picking up on that, then it is no wonder he doesn't say two words, right? I mean, who is comfortable going into hostile territory? (not to mention that teen-aged boys aren't particularly verbose anyway. )

I am with you on the manners thing, sure...that is the bare minimum, but I am sure he is picking up on how you feel.

And look at it this way...he didn't ASK to be born into this. He didn't ask for his parents to split up when he was very young. He didn't ask for his dad to get married and start a whole new family with new kids. No one consulted him about these massive changes in his young life. As a kid, it totally sucks to see your parent start over with new kids...kids who get to live with that parent 24/7 and you are left out only seeing the parent when it is convenient.

Now, absolutely none of that is YOUR fault at all. Please don't think that is what I am saying. I am just trying to point out his perspective.

And as a parent, YES, Steve (and sorry, I have to spell it that way or I get all confused!) Steve SHOULD be putting his kid first. Don't you put your kids first? Of course you do. Because you are a good mom. He is trying to do what he can to be a good dad to this kid that he doesn't get to be with every day like he does the other 3.

And here is your part to play--YES, Nate gets to be there as much and for as long as he wants. (You made a comment about that a while back. Like, does he just get to be with you on every holiday. YES, he does.) It is his father's house. And you knew that Steve had a son when you married him. You went into this with your eyes open. So now you have to open your home to Nate without hesitation, without negativity, and even without rolling your eyes!

I know, KNOW, that you are doing a great job. You juggle work, family, ww, a hellish schedule, a new house...all of it. And it is so easy to get frustrated by the things over which we have no control. But this...this is something you need to accept. Accept it and move forward and you will all be happier and breathe easier with the situation.

Ok, off my soapbox.

The Thing I hate about being a step parent isn't being a step parent I truly love nate and I have since the moment I met him at 1.5 years old! Nate and I had a great relationship until he was about three! Then all of a sudden he went from saying I love all the time to telling me he hated me! I get the whole I want my parents back together thing. As I am also a child from a broken home! My parents split before I was born. I honestly don't remember ever wanting them back together because I don't ever remember them being together. I do remember being told by my mother that my Step mother was a WITCH! Constantly! I didn't like her because my mother said SO! And I feel this is what happened here! Nate is very VERY loyal to his mother! I have seen him pass on trips with us so she isn't alone! This is where my hatred of step parenting is! Because you can like and be loyal more than one person I have never tried taking over his roll as his mother and I would never try to!

Nate and I are fine for the most part it is just when I discipline him for lets say this last time KICKING SAM IN THE FACE WITH STEEL TOED WORK BOOTS, that he goes into these silent modes. His reasoning for doing that was she spit at him The time before that when I disciplined him it was for hitting Sam in the face so hard that he ripped her earring out of her ear! He said that she hit him. On that one Stephen took my side and told The EX that no Nate shouldn't have hit Sam and he wouldn't stand for it! I was right in making him sit in a chair! Her response was he was defending himself! ( side note: she slapped him way back when we moved in here guess what he did he shoved her! she weighs 125 and is about 5'3" he is 220 and 6' his punishment was to come back here) SO there is reason while I got mad at him and really he doesn't believe he did anything wrong! This is also a sore spot for me I have always been told that he isn't my child and I have NO right to discipline him! Well I am sorry if he is at my house YES I will be disciplining him if I feel there is a need! Kicking my daughter in the face , or dropping Zac on purpose on top of Tyler and giving him a black eye, grabbing Zac by the neck and throwing him are all reasons to start disciplining him! There was another time I caught him skipping school and the EX asked if I had put him in the car and brought him back to school and Stephen said NO you said she couldn't discipline him and nate said that the teachers knew he was out of the building so not only did he skip school he lied to Stephanie and She got mad that I didn't do anything . He said well make up your mind! But he still didn't get punished by either of them. But the child has never ever known discipline because everyone ( steph & the EX) thought he was to fragile because of the split and then the diabetes. She has had nate in counseling before and I think they both need it! STILL!

Some time Nate and I get along so well it's scary and just at that time you see him back away like he is doing something wrong! And in his mind he is.. he is being disloyal to his mother.

ANd Erika your right he didn't asked to be born, he didn't ask that his parents split when he was 1.5 years old, he didn't ask that his dad AND mom start new families! (she also has had another long term relationship which has ended she has now moved on to another and another) BUt this is something he has always known that His Dad and I have been together as long as he can remember... because really do you remember what happened at 1.5 - 2 . NO not unless you are told and shown pictures!
And do you really think that you should put one child first over the rest of them because he is from a broken family? I say no all my children are equal not one of them is any better than the rest! Stephen has 4 kids and they all should be equal. Just as his ex has 2 kids and she treats them equal. Nate spend fifty percent of his time here at this house and then fifty percent of his time with his mother, so he isn't an every other weekend kid or two days a week he is allowed here when ever he wants and that is fine with me.

The fact that the kid doesn't come into a house and say hello has always been a pet peeve of mine. Stephen always blames the EX and I told him he is just as bad because he should demand it! It isn't just me or my house he will do it anywhere! Years ago when Stephen's dad was still alive we used to go there every Saturday Morning and the kids would all go in and say Hello and then go play except Nate he would just go in and go to the back room to play the video games, sometimes Stephen's parents wouldn't even know he was there until it was either lunch time or it was time to go! My nephews who are 17 and 15 still say HI AUNT STEPHIE ! Nate has never been taught or what ever by either of his parents!
When Stephen stands by me and says I was right then we don't see Nate for weeks or months! He gets mad and stays away! During the summer months he chooses NOT TO COME OVER! We see him during the school months because he has to come here! But during the summertime he doesn't want anything to do with us unless we are going to my BIL's house or there is a party. We went on several family vacations this past summer and we asked him for each and every one and he said NO! Last year when we went to Disney I told him about it ( in December) and told him he had until May to make up his mind if he wanted to go, Stephen asked him point blankly in front of his mother if he was coming or NOT and he said NO he would be staying home with his mother! The loyalty sometimes to his mother is almost scary in a sick kinda way!
Just a question is anyone here a step parent? Is anyone a step child? I only ask because it sounds easy but it's not and being both I know what it is like! I know it took me 18 years to start liking my step mother.. I cling to that hope that someday Nate and I will have a good relationship like my step mother and I do now! But I hear my SIL say how horrid that her Ex's new wife treats the girls and I simple said Do you think about how your girls treat her? Like you said Erika people feel the resentment! I feel the resentment from Nate and yes I put my guard up with him because I have had my heart stomped on by him before! I don't mean to sound biatchy but I am trying to get my point across. Unless you are a step parent or a step child you can't not say what it is like! Its like that saying don't judge a person till you've walked a mile in their shoes! In every case step parenting can be great if all parties involved work together that includes the Ex the parent and the step parent and the child! Helll now my Dad and my Mom and my step mother can all be in the same room without the evil glares, it has taken a really long time for it but my mom finally as given up hope of her and my dad to be together and the bitterness is gone between my stepmother and Dad finally after 18 years of divorce. My mother hears stories from my Step mom and say Thanks god it didn't work for us! Things work out the way they are meant to be! And you have to learn to deal with it!
OK OFF MY SOAP BOX NOW!
And E~ I still love ya to!

Off to go deliver pampered chef stuff!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Thanks so much, Steph, for putting your side of it out there. It is a lot, truly, to manage blended families.

And yes, I am a step-kid. The person I always refer to as my "dad" is legally my step father. But we never acknowledge that. He is my dad, I am his daughter. Period. So maybe that is why my post seemed like it was taking Nate's side. (And I didn't mean it to be that way, btw. It just made me so sad when you said that you hated being a step-parent.) But now I understand what you mean...not the kid, but the situation and not being able to be on the same page with the bio mom, etc. All very frustrating, for sure.

We're good.

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

And yes, I am a step-kid. The person I always refer to as my "dad" is legally my step father. But we never acknowledge that. He is my dad, I am his daughter. Period.

It's nice to see that you can call him Dad, because for nate to call me mom or any other term of endearment that would mean that he was being Disloyal! I call my step mother Mom, ma, stepmonster (jokingly) and I finally got the nerve to tell my mother that it is ok for me to do that they are not competing for my love they both get it unconditionally. It was hard for my mother to accept but she finally has! I think now I have a closer and better relationship with my Step mother than I do with my own mother! And every time something like this goes on between me and nate I call her and apologize to my SM and she always asks why am I apologizing to her and I say if I EVER treated you horrible I am so sorry! Because as a kid you believe your parent and if they say a person is the enemy than that person is the enemy! And it sucks to know that they were wrong when your all grown up and are able to make your own judgements!

 

[SeptemberGirl]

Well, I'm glad you guys hugged that all out.

Just up and at 'em from my day in NYC. Trouble brewing at home here...and I am about to quote Mary Poppins (the movie) so let me just let that one lie...(yes, we watch it enough for me to quote it.)

Steph - okay AWESOME gain! .2!!! I'd take a small gain like that any day!

Lots to do here before Friday. Must get cracking. And must get back on track. And suss out my home issues. And read the second book in the Twilight series. No pressure, huh?

UGH. Hate when there's stuff on the burner, you know?

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Thumbprints = sugar cookie (not as sweet) with a hole in the center and filled with icing.

Steph - shew you have alot to deal with. There is good and bad to it all and sounds like you get the brunt. At this point you are not going to change Steph, would be my guess. And let me get this straight, Steph's ex is Stephanie? OMG!!!

EriKa - room mother sounds horrible. At least you didn't have to go on the field trip.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

Well, I'm glad you guys hugged that all out.

Just up and at 'em from my day in NYC. Trouble brewing at home here...and I am about to quote Mary Poppins (the movie) so let me just let that one lie...(yes, we watch it enough for me to quote it.)

Are you reading the second book for the 1st time or the 4th time?

 

[DISNEY4XMAS]

Thumbprints = sugar cookie (not as sweet) with a hole in the center and filled with icing.

Steph - shew you have alot to deal with. There is good and bad to it all and sounds like you get the brunt. At this point you are not going to change Steph, would be my guess. And let me get this straight, Steph's ex is Stephanie? OMG!!!

EriKa - room mother sounds horrible. At least you didn't have to go on the field trip.

No Stephen's ex is Brenda! Finally after 15 years we have gotten over the nicety of being pleasant, we used to wave or say Hi as we passed and now there is none which is bad for nate but there is much relief for me that I don't have to be pleasant to a person that I don't much like or doesn't much like me!

My other hard stuff is that stephen over does for him like Saturday he told nate to go shower but he would get the shower working for him because he didn't want him to burn himself... UMMM hello the boy is going to be 17 in 18 days! I think he can manage to shower on his own! It's the little things like that that makes my hair frizz, Nate is a great child but exactly that he is a child he hasn't been given a chance to grow up!
Ok need to go do pampered chef stuff! YIKES I will have to go to work before I know it!

 

[SeptemberGirl]

2nd book, 2nd time. Have to read it so I can be ready to read the 3rd and 4th ones - for the first time, missy!

Go get it already!

 

[3DisneyKids]

Bring me the first and I will read it when there, k? It is out at the library, of course.

 

[HockeyKat]

Liz, hope it all works out. I am around this afternoon and evening if you need to talk.

Steph and E, wow. Umm, I have no experience with step-parent/step-children so I keep my mouth shut here.


Off to get my a$$ kicked at a kicboxing class!! Be back in an hour..