In response to Always' slogan: Have a happy period

[tinabheart]

I'll offer a dissenting viewpoint. Yes, many women get PMS and suffer emotionally for it. I don't dispute it.

But there are plenty of us who DON'T regard our periods as anything more than a logistical/sanitary inconvenience. Don't get cramps, don't turn into a shrieking harpie, don't exhibit any change in behavior.

I know it's a real thing. And maybe I'm a complete freak with freaky DNA because the women in my family were blessed with good genes never made a big deal over it. Except if I look at my closest 5-10 female friends, the most it's ever mentioned is in terms of cravings or the inconvenience of it.

Unfortunately, in everything from sit coms to message boards, the default belief seems to be that women are powerless over their emotions, and in this day and age that's an unfortunate image to continually send to our girls -- that 3-4 days a month they get an excuse to behave any way they please and can simply blame it on PMS. And I can't imagine it does much for the view young men have of women, either.

So why do we seem to celebrate the pathology of taking out mood swings on other people? Like it's a great female bonding experience that we can't control ourselves?

As women seek higher powered positions, you see the issue raised -- "what if the crisis happens at that time of the month"? Followed by dismissive laughs.

First of all, I'm happy for you and others like you who have not experienced what others have gone through.

I just erased a whole big long comment because I don't want to be negative, and certainly don't want to cause some controversial thread that would get me kicked off for sure!

But, I do want to say this...some people have a "logistical/unsanitary inconvenience" and others have experiences that result in the most intense physical and emotional suffering. There is no point in describing in detail, because if you haven't experienced it, you won't understand anyway. For those of us who have had some really bad experiences...and unfortunately, think we are alone, please let us share our experiences and find solace in knowing that we aren't alone.

Everyone experiences their own unique circumstances in life, and everyone needs someone to walk beside them as they go through them. Sometimes it can be something simple, sometimes they are life changing events. And, in this situation, sometimes they are more than inconvenient, and effect relationships, work, and just general life functioning. If I hadn't been able to talk with other people who experience what I am, I would probably be in a psych ward right now, or jail. (ok, not really, but maybe!)

The letter that was written perfectly described my thoughts, and obviously others as well. For those who can't relate, you are blessed in that area...I'm sure you have things you deal with that I don't understand. I can say that I've NEVER used it as an excuse, or feel like I'm able to 'female bond' with anyone because of it. We are all in this life together - let's just the best of it.

 

[Crazy Kanga]

I'll offer a dissenting viewpoint. Yes, many women get PMS and suffer emotionally for it. I don't dispute it.

But there are plenty of us who DON'T regard our periods as anything more than a logistical/sanitary inconvenience. Don't get cramps, don't turn into a shrieking harpie, don't exhibit any change in behavior.

I know it's a real thing. And maybe I'm a complete freak with freaky DNA because the women in my family were blessed with good genes never made a big deal over it. Except if I look at my closest 5-10 female friends, the most it's ever mentioned is in terms of cravings or the inconvenience of it.

Unfortunately, in everything from sit coms to message boards, the default belief seems to be that women are powerless over their emotions, and in this day and age that's an unfortunate image to continually send to our girls -- that 3-4 days a month they get an excuse to behave any way they please and can simply blame it on PMS. And I can't imagine it does much for the view young men have of women, either.

So why do we seem to celebrate the pathology of taking out mood swings on other people? Like it's a great female bonding experience that we can't control ourselves?

As women seek higher powered positions, you see the issue raised -- "what if the crisis happens at that time of the month"? Followed by dismissive laughs.

Well until you've had a monumentally bad period as some of us have endured, I guess you need to keep your condesending comments to yourself. I'm sorry, but that was just way to judgemental for someone who admits they haven't suffered a bad period. Mine were so bad, I had migraines threw up stayed doubled up in bed and missed school and work. Trust me when I say they were BAD!!!!! Luckily I have now had a hysterectomy so I don't have to spend a full third of my life in misery.10 days out of every month were hell for me if I wasn't on the pill. Don't judge what you haven't experienced.

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Well until you've had a monumentally bad period as some of us have endured, I guess you need to keep your condesending comments to yourself. I'm sorry, but that was just way to judgemental for someone who admits they haven't suffered a bad period. Mine were so bad, I had migraines threw up stayed doubled up in bed and missed school and work. Trust me when I say they were BAD!!!!! Luckily I have now had a hysterectomy so I don't have to spend a full third of my life in misery.10 days out of every month were hell for me if I wasn't on the pill. Don't judge what you haven't experienced.

Being one of these woman who went through 30-50 pads a day, had stage 4 endometriosis so badly that it kinked my bowel and covered every organ including my lungs, pain so bad I was on Fentanyl (stage 4 cancer pain medication) I think it is very easy for women who are "normal" all year....just complaining about bloating and mood swings.


I'll tell you what a mood swing is.......your life revolved around pain & misery...missing, funerals, weddings, vacations, plays, baby's being born. That is what a mood is and I take issue by some of these comments.

It is so easy to take good health for granted.

 

[Scornelius]

Well until you've had a monumentally bad period as some of us have endured, I guess you need to keep your condesending comments to yourself. I'm sorry, but that was just way to judgemental for someone who admits they haven't suffered a bad period. Mine were so bad, I had migraines threw up stayed doubled up in bed and missed school and work. Trust me when I say they were BAD!!!!! Luckily I have now had a hysterectomy so I don't have to spend a full third of my life in misery.10 days out of every month were hell for me if I wasn't on the pill. Don't judge what you haven't experienced.

What she said.

 

[froggygrrrl]

I'll offer a dissenting viewpoint. Yes, many women get PMS and suffer emotionally for it. I don't dispute it.

But there are plenty of us who DON'T regard our periods as anything more than a logistical/sanitary inconvenience. Don't get cramps, don't turn into a shrieking harpie, don't exhibit any change in behavior.

I know it's a real thing. And maybe I'm a complete freak with freaky DNA because the women in my family were blessed with good genes never made a big deal over it. Except if I look at my closest 5-10 female friends, the most it's ever mentioned is in terms of cravings or the inconvenience of it.

Unfortunately, in everything from sit coms to message boards, the default belief seems to be that women are powerless over their emotions, and in this day and age that's an unfortunate image to continually send to our girls -- that 3-4 days a month they get an excuse to behave any way they please and can simply blame it on PMS. And I can't imagine it does much for the view young men have of women, either.

So why do we seem to celebrate the pathology of taking out mood swings on other people? Like it's a great female bonding experience that we can't control ourselves?

As women seek higher powered positions, you see the issue raised -- "what if the crisis happens at that time of the month"? Followed by dismissive laughs.

Wow, way to facilitate backward progress. For a minute there, I thought maybe some of us didn't still have a 1950's mindset.

 

[va32h]

Wow, way to facilitate backward progress. For a minute there, I thought maybe some of us didn't still have a 1950's mindset.

Um no, that post was the exact opposite of a 1950's mindset, as it is pointing out that continually portraying women as hysterical victims subject to wild moods swings because they can't control their hormones is very "backward" indeed.

As daisax pointed out, this is the logic that keeps women out of powerful positions. "Oh no, you can't have a woman president because she'll go crazy and push the red button and launch a nuclear war every 28 days!" Ha, ha, ha. Oh that's so funny.

So sorry to interrupt the "who's suffering more" contest.

 

[KariC]

It IS true. Women are our own worst enemies. Sad, isn't it?

 

[crzyred]

Well my period comes for 4-5 days. The first 2-3 days are horrible pains. I get physically sick and I am not a pleasant person to be around because I am actually sick. The last days I have "normal" cramps. (if there is such a thing )

But I've never known it to be an excuse for anything. Yes you can use it as a forewarning to save others, "hey it's that time...try not to p*** me off ".

I believe it is your job as a mother to teach your daughter the proper ways to deal with this hormonal change, not society. If you want your child raised a certain way, raise them that way and don't care about how society feels about it.

Daisax, I'm sorry, but if you've never truly experienced a horrible period, why could you tell someone that their mentality about it is wrong?

I do understand where you are coming from, some women want their daughters to "celebrate" this process. And yes in todays world, a lot of things can be used as an excuse, but this is where it comes back to you to teach your child differently. Is it wrong for those of us who don't "celebrate"? Is it wrong for those of us who don't see this as the greatest gift given to a woman, to let our daughters see that it's not all fun and games?



*I love that email!! I got that while ago and I remember showing it my mom right away because the first time we saw the "have a happy period" my mom and I both said, " only a man could have created that."

 

[Mrs. Bee]

Well until you've had a monumentally bad period as some of us have endured, I guess you need to keep your condesending comments to yourself. I'm sorry, but that was just way to judgemental for someone who admits they haven't suffered a bad period. Mine were so bad, I had migraines threw up stayed doubled up in bed and missed school and work. Trust me when I say they were BAD!!!!! Luckily I have now had a hysterectomy so I don't have to spend a full third of my life in misery.10 days out of every month were hell for me if I wasn't on the pill. Don't judge what you haven't experienced.

I agree.

Daisax's post had a very condesending tone. I don't know if it was intentional or not. But if it was....it really ticked me off. LA DEE DA...you've never had bad cramps and other horrible things associated with your period. Aren't you lucky?

I guess I'm one of the "unlucky" ones who in the past had to miss a lot of school and whatnot because I was in so much physical pain that I thought I could cut my own leg off just to be rid of it (I used to get the worst leg pain ever.) The pain mostly went away thanks to the birth control pills they put me on when I was younger. But having to be on birth control pills all the time (for going on 11 years now) is not a good thing either. It regulates things and lessens the pain but I HATE having to rely on them.

Be thankful you don't have to deal with stuff like that and the other things people have mentioned. I'm sure you knew what kind of reaction your post would get so you probably should've kept it to yourself.

Oh...and 3-4 days?!?? Haha...in my dreams. Try 7-8 on a good month.

I will not be having a "happy" period anytime soon, I'm sure.

 

[KariC]

Mrs. Bee, I have heard of people having endometriosis in their legs, and it caused awful leg pain when cycling!! Do you know if this is what it could be? Don't know if they can do anything about it....

 

[Disney Ella]

I'll offer a dissenting viewpoint. Yes, many women get PMS and suffer emotionally for it. I don't dispute it.

But there are plenty of us who DON'T regard our periods as anything more than a logistical/sanitary inconvenience. Don't get cramps, don't turn into a shrieking harpie, don't exhibit any change in behavior.

I know it's a real thing. And maybe I'm a complete freak with freaky DNA because the women in my family were blessed with good genes never made a big deal over it. Except if I look at my closest 5-10 female friends, the most it's ever mentioned is in terms of cravings or the inconvenience of it.

I don't go around discussing this stuff with my friends so they have no idea if I suffer or not, but then I don't feel the need to discuss any gory health problem with other people. Even though I behave as though it's not a big deal, it's more than an inconvenience and I'll bet some of your friends find it to be that too. I'm guessing you are all pretty young. I never had PMS at all until I hit my mid-thirties and I thought all those people were exaggerating and just using PMS as an excuse to be witchy!

Hopefully you stay lucky enough to never get cramps so bad you feel physically ill or to want to blow up on someone for forgetting to take out the garbage when normally you wouldn't care about the stupid garbage.

 

[paintnolish]

Anyone see Velveeta or Kraft has a "have a happy sandwich" campaign? eww! Now it makes me think of Always. Sanitary napkins and grilled cheese...not an association I want to make.

 

[Todd&Copper]

Anyone see Velveeta or Kraft has a "have a happy sandwich" campaign? eww! Now it makes me think of Always. Sanitary napkins and grilled cheese...not an association I want to make.

Well, I do have an increased appetite the day or two before my period starts, so I guess I could have a few "happy" sammies and then a "happy" period . . . .

 

[Heidict]

That letter is hysterical. I made sure to C&P and email to all my female friends and family!!

Oh, and it's a real letter. This woman wrote it and posted it to her blog when she mailed it. http://wendi-aarons.blogspot.com/2007/03/as-seen-on-mcsweeneysnet.html

I have been fortunate that I don't experience "horrible" periods, but I have had my fair share of pain. Thankfully, it doesn't last long (maybe and hour or so at most) and is infrequent. I can't imagine having it that bad the whole week! Just last month I experienced back pain for the first time. I have never in my life had to deal with that when I had a period. Happy period? Yeah, right. Seems like it's getting worse!

Lets not even get into the emotional hormonal side of it. I too suffered through infertility for about 5 years. I can't even count the number of times I would break down crying when i would feel my period start, all because I know I wasn't pregnant. Even as it happened I knew it was because of the "hormones" but that did no good in stopping myself from feeling them. Even now I still feel the hormones on a monthly basis and know that my period is about to start. I try to keep it in check, but how can you make yourself stop feeling? Well, there is the alcohol and drugs.

There are many women out there who are fortunate enough to not have to go through it. They are able to have a "happy" period. However, the majority of women don't fall into that catagory and they will always be made to feel that they aren't measuring up to what society wants a woman to do. They will be made to feel like less of a women because they actually have a mood swing.

DAISAX - You haven't bothered to come back since your original post which leads me to believe that you knew it would get the reaction it got. I'm sure you are very happy for that. You can pat yourself on the back for your freaky DNA and continue with your uneducated judgement of other women.

For a women who has never had to go through it, then how can you make statments like "that 3-4 days a month they get an excuse to behave any way they please ". Uhh? You seriously think that women use a period as an excuse to act any way they please? If that were they case there would be a lot of dead bodies left in our wake.

Oh, and this is another gem; "taking out mood swings on other people". Once again, if you have never experienced it yourself how can you stand in judgement of those who go through it? How can you possibly fathom what goes through our minds and what our emotions are? Seriously, if you want to believe everything that you see on TV then go ahead, but at least have a smidgen of commen sense to know that TV is not a true representation of life.

Okay, I feel better. Imagine what I would have said if I actually had PMS?

 

[ckay87]

DAISAX - You haven't bothered to come back since your original post which leads me to believe that you knew it would get the reaction it got. I'm sure you are very happy for that. You can pat yourself on the back for your freaky DNA and continue with your uneducated judgement of other women.

For a women who has never had to go through it, then how can you make statments like "that 3-4 days a month they get an excuse to behave any way they please ". Uhh? You seriously think that women use a period as an excuse to act any way they please? If that were they case there would be a lot of dead bodies left in our wake.

Oh, and this is another gem; "taking out mood swings on other people". Once again, if you have never experienced it yourself how can you stand in judgement of those who go through it? How can you possibly fathom what goes through our minds and what our emotions are? Seriously, if you want to believe everything that you see on TV then go ahead, but at least have a smidgen of commen sense to know that TV is not a true representation of life.

Okay, I feel better. Imagine what I would have said if I actually had PMS?

I agree. I don't have clinical depression or schizophrenia, for example, but I don't belittle, question, or doubt those who do.

For the record, I don't have unbearable PMS either. Maybe I'm "off" for a day or 2, but don't recognize it as PMS til later ("ooooh, so THAT is why I was so p**sed.") I DO have terrible, terrible cramps - to the point where I really don't want to go on. But I do and I don't complain (because I live in a house of men, ya know?) Given those facts, it is nice to vent and maybe even laugh about it once in a while. That's where most of us are coming from, I think.

 

[paintnolish]

Well, I do have an increased appetite the day or two before my period starts, so I guess I could have a few "happy" sammies and then a "happy" period . . . .

I think it would be more appropriate for Heshey's to say "have a happy period," don't you?!?
Or...from a partnership between McDonald's fries, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and Midol...have a happy period!

 

[KariC]

I think it would be more appropriate for Heshey's to say "have a happy period," don't you?!?
Or...from a partnership between McDonald's fries, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and Midol...have a happy period!

Great idea!!!! Have you thought about a career in marketing?

 

[Aisling]

I've always thought the 'happr period' advertising was cute, as I, and no one in my family or friends ever showed and issues with their cycles. But then I found out that my DSs girlfriend SUFFERS terribly, not with cramps, but with the hormonal tension and mood swings. She becomes a different person a few days before her period, very very mean, very emotional, snapping at everyone and crying. I've told her that she should talk to her doctor about it, it's that bad. I wouldn't be surprised if she stabs someone with a butcher knife one day during that time. She hates getting like that, but she can't control it.

 

[kimmikayb]

LOL!

Did anyone catch Tina Fey's appearance on SNL a couple of weeks ago and see the commercial they did for "Annuale", the birth control where you only get your period once a year? Totally hilarious!! I laughed so hard I was crying!

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/#mea=221774

OMG That was great!!

 

[diznygirl]

I think it would be more appropriate for Heshey's to say "have a happy period," don't you?!?
Or...from a partnership between McDonald's fries, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and Midol...have a happy period!