Here's an excerpt from my trip report:
Cast -
Me - Formerly gay.
Tammy - Girlfriend at the time
Mother - 60, conservative Church of Christ member
My mother does not drink.
Tammy does not drink.
I drink like a little fishie.
Hmmm.
And what part of going to Pleasure Island did I think was a good idea?
I have no clue!
Anyway, we go to Pleasure Island.
We did not take the
ECV, my mom just took her cane.
I think we let her out at the front and went to park the car.
We got tickets and went to the Adventurers club.
I only had two more drinks.
I think.
Maybe.
Anyway, my mom liked it.
I LOVED it, as usual.
I guess Tammy liked it.

She was frowning, so Im not sure.
Anyway, I have this bad habit of wanting to go dancing after Ive been drinking.
And what is across from Adventurers club?
Huh?
Anyone?
MANNEQUINS!!! Woo!
With good music (gay house is the best, let me tell ya), a super cool lighting system and a dance floor THAT SPINS!
How in the heck in my drunken stupor did I convince my mother and girlfriend to go into a dance club?
I dont know.
I always thought that Babynurse = persuasive, but Im starting to think Celery = persuasive too!
So there we are. On the second level of Mannequins looking down.
Me, swaying to the music (and to the alcohol flowing through my veins. heh).
Tammy frowning.
My 60 year old (Im ONLY 59!!!!) mother just looking (and probably frowning).
This is NOT close enough to the action for me! I have to go dance!
Wait.
At some point, I saw a martini glass that glows, so I had to buy a drink with it.
So me, with my flashing super cool glass stagger down the stairs and onto the dance floor.
With my mom and Tammy watching me, right? Right. Cuz you can SEE the dance floor from where they are standing.
So I dance.
And who knows how long it took, but at some point, me, with my big clutzy butt, fell.
OH NO!
I HATE being embarrassed in public.
Plus, I spilled my drink.

So I decide I need to get out of there. I look around for Mom and Tammy, but dont see them, so I go out to the area between the Irish pub and Mannequins.
I stand around for awhile.
Knowing that at any second theyre going to come out the doors.
Cuz they HAD to have seen me fall, right?
Hmmm.
I wait for what seems like forever.
I really have no idea how long it was.
(Drunks dont tell time very well.)
Finally I decide that they must have left out of the other door and headed to the car.
So I head to the car.
I get there, theyre not there.
ok. Maybe theyre walking to the car, but coming from the OTHER exit of PI.
So I go back in that way.
No sign of them.
I circle all of PI one more time, just to make sure, and still dont see them.
Argh!
I go to the car.
Because no matter what, eventually they have to show up at the car, right?
Right.
I get tired of standing, so I lay down in some grass right beside the car.
One BILLION hours later, Tammy shows up.
Mad.
I explain what happened.
Shes still mad and says shes been listening to my mother talk non stop about how Im an alcoholic.
Grr.
I ask where my mother is.
She left her at the entrance.
I say Ok. Stay here. Ill go get her.
So I go and get my mother.
And as soon as she sees me, she starts her mouthing.
I just roll my eyes and head her in the right direction.
Which means she has to yell at me louder.
In public.
Cuz we KNOW I love being embarrassed in public.
About halfway across the parking lot, she starts saying things like Where are you going? Do you even know where you are? You dont know where the car is, do you?
ARGH!
We get closer and closer to the car.
Wait.
Its not there.
Theres an empty parking spot where the car was.
Oh my goodness.
Where the heck did Tammy go?
My mother is still yelling at me, because in her mind, Im so drunk I dont know where I am.
I finally spot a group of guys and beg to use their cell phone (Who knows where mine was.). So if you guys are out there, and you let me use your cell phone at 1 or 2 in the morning on 9/20/07, Thanks!
I call Tammy.
Where are you?
Near the entrance.
Why?
I was coming to pick you up.
STAY WHERE YOU ARE.
We make it to the Pilot.
Thank the lord its a short drive from Downtown Disney to Bonnet Creek.
We drop my mom off at the resort and go to park the car.
Tammy gave me an earful and then went inside.
Argh!
I do not want to go inside!
Crystal and Mike have one bedroom.
My mom has the living room.
Tammy and I have the other bedroom.
ACK! Theres no where for me to go.
So I decide Im going to explore the resort.
Ha!
Yes, its 2 in the morning.
So what?
I walk to the pool area.
And lie down on a chaise for awhile.
I think I fell asleep for awhile.
When I get cold, I go back to the room and sleep.
And wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed!
Ahh. Memories.