In laws Grrrrrrrrr

[LuvOrlando]

I am soooooo ticked.

Background, FIL is a whipped wind-up toy of a man and MIL is extremely manipulative and a bully if you let her. We live next door and I make dinner every Sunday. They've never helped with the kids and are generally self-centered people and would never put themselves out for another person.

For starters my In-laws (who live next door) bailed on us for Thanksgiving. No biggie to me but my kids & DH were bummed. MIL & FIL went up to see her sister and her family along with DH's one sister and we weren't invited. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of these people but if it's for my DH and kids I go along with it. Anyway it's annoying, I'd never dream of doing this to one of my kids but that's me... whatever, I got over it and the 4 of us had a wonderful time anyway but I could tell it bugged my family.

So this weekend my daughter didn't want to come with us to the Dog show, she call MIL to watch her. First MIL says yes, then calls back and wants to come to the show instead o we take her. We have her all day, first the dog show, then we take her out to dinner, then we bring her to the ski lodge to watch my son snowboard for a while. Sounds nice right. Well in the middle of this she & my DH start talking about a cheesecake for Christmas. I said, "I just don't want one, I'm sick of them." We had one for Thanksgiving and last week I had to spend 4 hours making one for DH to bring one to work. I don't want to waste the time or the expense on something we've had too much of and which my family won't eat. Who cares right, no biggie. My house my dessert.

Anyway I cooked for them yesterday like I do every single Sunday. I have been in this family long enough to know the score and knew games were coming so I told DH before they came, look I just don't want a cheesecake, I want cookies, this is my holiday in my house and I want help making my cookies.

All through dinner they are being generally nasty to me, but does DH see it... nope. As I'm cleaning up I hear my In-laws in the living room carrying on about the stupid flippin cheesecake being obviously purposefully loud just for me. I get PO'd and go upstairs to get my kids ready. I can hear my FIL saying "If there is no cheesecake at my table for dessert there is no dessert at my table."

Now I'm ticked. Not over the stupid cheesecake but i don't like people messing with me on purpose. I say something to DH and he starts in how I'm imagining things. (I'm not, MIL routinely sends one of my SIl's home crying over her head-games and antics) This stuff doesn't make me sad, it just , these are not my parents and they can't hurt me, but they sure can make me wish I lived somewhere else.

I'm PO'd over their garbage and DH is still fixated on the stupid cake. I can't tell if he really doesn't get it or if he's just trying to force me into accommodating the crazy old bat. So now he & I start arguing. I'm still super mad about the whole thing because, and told him, "I don't really care if your entire family jumps through hoops for that woman, I've done enough and if there is a flippin cheese cake on that table I won't be." This isn't about the stupid cheese cake, it's about their unrelenting garbage and the way MIL likes to try and twist people up into knots and the fact I'm just done bending.

Nice way to start the week

Came into MY house to give me garbage.... what nerve.

 

[Mermaid02]

forget it

Give her your recipe and tell her you'd love for her to bring the cheesecake.

 

[LuvOrlando]

You saw that huh, before i deleted it.

OH, I didn't mention the best part, she had the NERVE to send over HER recipe last night for me to make.

Charming woman

I'm tempted to make the worst cheesecake ever made and cover it with chocolate

 

[Mermaid02]

Well, this won't make sense to anyone else because you deleted your post- but I wouldn't have made her a cheesecake either. I might buy one, but I wouldn't go through all the trouble to make one.

 

[Mermaid02]

You saw that huh, before i deleted it.

OH, I didn't mention the best part, she had the NERVE to send over HER recipe last night for me to make.

Charming woman

As my Mom would say..... are her arms broken?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am soooooo ticked.

Background, FIL is a whipped wind-up toy of a man and MIL is extremely manipulative and a bully if you let her. We live next door and I make dinner every Sunday. They've never helped with the kids and are generally self-centered people and would never put themselves out for another person.

For starters my In-laws (who live next door) bailed on us for Thanksgiving. No biggie to me but my kids & DH were bummed. MIL & FIL went up to see her sister and her family along with DH's one sister and we weren't invited. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of these people but if it's for my DH and kids I go along with it. Anyway it's annoying, I'd never dream of doing this to one of my kids but that's me... whatever, I got over it and the 4 of us had a wonderful time anyway but I could tell it bugged my family.

So this weekend my daughter didn't want to come with us to the Dog show, she call MIL to watch her. First MIL says yes, then calls back and wants to come to the show instead o we take her. We have her all day, first the dog show, then we take her out to dinner, then we bring her to the ski lodge to watch my son snowboard for a while. Sounds nice right. Well in the middle of this she & my DH start talking about a cheesecake for Christmas. I said, "I just don't want one, I'm sick of them." We had one for Thanksgiving and last week I had to spend 4 hours making one for DH to bring one to work. I don't want to waste the time or the expense on something we've had too much of and which my family won't eat. Who cares right, no biggie. My house my dessert.

Anyway I cooked for them yesterday like I do every single Sunday. I have been in this family long enough to know the score and knew games were coming so I told DH before they came, look I just don't want a cheesecake, I want cookies, this is my holiday in my house and I want help making my cookies.

All through dinner they are being generally nasty to me, but does DH see it... nope. As I'm cleaning up I hear my In-laws in the living room carrying on about the stupid flippin cheesecake being obviously purposefully loud just for me. I get PO'd and go upstairs to get my kids ready. I can hear my FIL saying "If there is no cheesecake at my table for dessert there is no dessert at my table."

Now I'm ticked. Not over the stupid cheesecake but i don't like people messing with me on purpose. I say something to DH and he starts in how I'm imagining things. (I'm not, MIL routinely sends one of my SIl's home crying over her head-games and antics) This stuff doesn't make me sad, it just , these are not my parents and they can't hurt me, but they sure can make me wish I lived somewhere else.

I'm PO'd over their garbage and DH is still fixated on the stupid cake. I can't tell if he really doesn't get it or if he's just trying to force me into accommodating the crazy old bat. So now he & I start arguing. I'm still super mad about the whole thing because, and told him, "I don't really care if your entire family jumps through hoops for that woman, I've done enough and if there is a flippin cheese cake on that table I won't be." This isn't about the stupid cheese cake, it's about their unrelenting garbage and the way MIL likes to try and twist people up into knots and the fact I'm just done bending.

Nice way to start the week

Came into MY house to give me garbage.... what nerve.

Yes but you started it with the comment. You know your MIL is a manipulative bully.

You have to use restraint and not say things like that. I hate to say that to you but that is what you need to do.

MIL is not going to change. You can either change or fight, that is your choice. Stop giving her ammo.

I was yelling at my mom last night so you can take comfort in that.

They are broke and all I hear is how broke they are. So anyway she wants to host C. Eve dinner and calls me to tell me she is buying a Standing Rib Roast. OH yea.....she got an earful from me.

Oh and why is she doing this? Because my brother called her to tell her that he is coming over there for dinner.

Round 2 is today.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Thanks, I deleted it because it was just so negative.

Her arms aren't broken, MIL just enjoyed watching other people squirm

 

[LuvOrlando]

LOL, you got me Mystery Machine

 

[LuvOrlando]

I'm still on a low boil

 

[Magic Mom]

Go buy one, then you don't have to listen to her but you don't have to bake one.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

LOL, you got me Mystery Machine

Yep.

Eh, you guys sound like you are "entwined".

Don't fight, just do the damn cheesecake as penance for opening your mouth about how you are sick of cheesecake.

Trade ya'? At least MIL is not broke right?

 

[golfgal]

I am soooooo ticked.

Background, FIL is a whipped wind-up toy of a man and MIL is extremely manipulative and a bully if you let her. We live next door and I make dinner every Sunday. They've never helped with the kids and are generally self-centered people and would never put themselves out for another person.

For starters my In-laws (who live next door) bailed on us for Thanksgiving. No biggie to me but my kids & DH were bummed. MIL & FIL went up to see her sister and her family along with DH's one sister and we weren't invited. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of these people but if it's for my DH and kids I go along with it. Anyway it's annoying, I'd never dream of doing this to one of my kids but that's me... whatever, I got over it and the 4 of us had a wonderful time anyway but I could tell it bugged my family.

So this weekend my daughter didn't want to come with us to the Dog show, she call MIL to watch her. First MIL says yes, then calls back and wants to come to the show instead o we take her. We have her all day, first the dog show, then we take her out to dinner, then we bring her to the ski lodge to watch my son snowboard for a while. Sounds nice right. Well in the middle of this she & my DH start talking about a cheesecake for Christmas. I said, "I just don't want one, I'm sick of them." We had one for Thanksgiving and last week I had to spend 4 hours making one for DH to bring one to work. I don't want to waste the time or the expense on something we've had too much of and which my family won't eat. Who cares right, no biggie. My house my dessert.

Anyway I cooked for them yesterday like I do every single Sunday. I have been in this family long enough to know the score and knew games were coming so I told DH before they came, look I just don't want a cheesecake, I want cookies, this is my holiday in my house and I want help making my cookies.

All through dinner they are being generally nasty to me, but does DH see it... nope. As I'm cleaning up I hear my In-laws in the living room carrying on about the stupid flippin cheesecake being obviously purposefully loud just for me. I get PO'd and go upstairs to get my kids ready. I can hear my FIL saying "If there is no cheesecake at my table for dessert there is no dessert at my table."

Now I'm ticked. Not over the stupid cheesecake but i don't like people messing with me on purpose. I say something to DH and he starts in how I'm imagining things. (I'm not, MIL routinely sends one of my SIl's home crying over her head-games and antics) This stuff doesn't make me sad, it just , these are not my parents and they can't hurt me, but they sure can make me wish I lived somewhere else.

I'm PO'd over their garbage and DH is still fixated on the stupid cake. I can't tell if he really doesn't get it or if he's just trying to force me into accommodating the crazy old bat. So now he & I start arguing. I'm still super mad about the whole thing because, and told him, "I don't really care if your entire family jumps through hoops for that woman, I've done enough and if there is a flippin cheese cake on that table I won't be." This isn't about the stupid cheese cake, it's about their unrelenting garbage and the way MIL likes to try and twist people up into knots and the fact I'm just done bending.

Nice way to start the week

Came into MY house to give me garbage.... what nerve.

I agree, give her the recipe and have her make it. People can only take advantage of you if you let them

 

[MsLeFever]

SaraLee cheesecake bites - just dump them on a plate!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Sara lee huh... that gives me an idea, I wonder what the what the worst tasting cheesecake I could possibly make might be? Cheese doodle cheesecake

I could say i wanted to try something new

 

[kirbsam]

sounds like to me the problem is your husband. he sounds like the whipped wind up toy of a man. sorry, but that is what i get from your post. your anger is misplaced, your husband needs to grow a set and stand up to her. or else just move.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sara lee huh... that gives me an idea, I wonder what the what the worst tasting cheesecake I could possibly make might be? Cheese doodle cheesecake

I could say i wanted to try something new

Now see, I would go a different route and buy a cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. I would make it the best dang cheesecake ever.

Then again my kids are cheesecake addicts and a crappy cheesecake would not go over well in my house.

 

[Disney Doll]

With all due respect, LuvOrlando, your problem isn't with your in-laws, your problm is with your husband.

Your in-laws are not going to chnge. The will continue to be nasty, manipulative people.

Your husband needs to stand with you when dealing with them, and he isn't. You're fighting his whole side of the family, including him.

My late DMIL had a "strong" personality. So do I, so that made it eaier. But I can recall early on in my engagement when DMIL was really trying to take over the wedding planning, the guest list, tellling us what "had" to be done and so forth. DH & I discussed everything about our wedding and how we wanted it etc. without any problem. Threw DMIL into the mix and suddenly the way we wanted to do it was all wrong. And we really wanted a traditional wedding...church, reception with chicken and prime rib, dances with parents etc. She wanted 400 people invited and we didn't want to deal with that big of a wedding. One evening, we were "discussing" it and DH said "Mom, don't make me choose between you and DisneyDoll, because you'll lose".

Her mouth dropped open and there was a bit more carrying on, but she got the message that he would stand with me. And truly, after a few of these tussles, my DMIL and I got along beautifully. Maybe she needed to see that I had no intention of taking him away from his family or maybe she just needed a litle "come back to Jesus" talk...I don't know.

But I will tell you, that day, my DH had no idea how important it was that he did what he did because frankly, had he not stood by our decisions and decided to side with his mother, I probably would not have married him.

I wish you well...you are in a difficult situation.

 

[Lionqueen2]

Now, I'd be tempted to arrange a dessert platter for Christmas that had only two store bought from the deli section slices of cheesecake surrounded with cookies that you like and announce that no one except MIL and FIL were to take the cheesecakes since they put in their 'order' so the slices were just for them and sweetly mention that the cookies are for everyone else because Gma and Gpa didn't want your cookies. I wouldn't buy an entire cheesecake - just two slices. Not sure if I could actually pull this off, but it would make me smile to think about it.

 

[mumom95]

I agree with the others, give her your recipe and tell her if she would like cheesecake then she is welcome to make and bring it herself. Then you can make the cookies and have them. If your DH is smart, he'll eat the cookies and not the cheesecake and go on and on about how good the cookie are

You aren't going to change people like this, they always have to be in control. Sounds like you've bent over backwards more than you should have to, but unfortunately that's what we have to do for our spouses sometimes.

Now, more importantly. Any chance you'll post your cheesecake recipe? I LOVE cheesecake but have never made one and would love to try doing it sometime.

 

[FINFAN]

have cheesecake, just no silverware clean to eat it with..OR
in left-ever dishes by the door to go home...better yet, print out a picture and have it on the table...they just said they want "chessecake" at their table right?

Yeah, manipulation pretty much sets up battle for me, holiday or not, family or not.
Wrap one up as their Christmas gift