Important to be close to the grandkids?

[pyrxtc]

well, we live about 2 hrs from each set of grandparents and that works for me, my kids grandparents not mine.

I had one living close to us and a set 4 hrs away. I didn't know the further ones very well but loved spending time with them. Most of my grandparents were gone before I entered middle school and a lot of my cousins never knew them Even my younger sibs don't remember most of them.

DH's and my parents are not typical grandparents, nor do they try to act like grandparents. My parents spend some time with the kids, we see them about once a month or every two months usually. My kids are not doted on or made a fuss over, they just continue on with whatever they were going to do as if my kids were not there usually.

DH's father has not seen our kids in years, never calls even. His mother sees us on occasion and tries to be grandmotherly but likes to sit and watch movies and stuff. We need to remind her of birthday's but even then they are overlooked mostly. We do not see her for the holidays since she goes out of state and do not trade gifts or even call to say Merry Christmas.

I hope to be a different kind of grandmother but will not move myself to be near my kids. I will go and do things that I really want to do in life and visit and send cards/gifts. I don't think I need to be there all the time. technically, I could be a grandmother within the next 10 years easily and I wouldn't even be 44 yet. Oldest DD is almost 16 so in 10 yrs she will 26 and out of college and married and whatever else might happen. too young to give my life to grandkids.

 

[pyrxtc]

Also, I have always encouraged my kids to move wherever their heart tells them to go and try new places so I could have kids that live all over the world ....

 

[Tink9721]

This is from the point of view of a 16 year old girl. I think relationships with grandparents are extremely important! I guess it depends on the parents and how close they are to their own parents. My parents and their parents are/were very close and when I have kids they'll definitely be close to their grandparents. I have a very close knit family, especially on my mom's side!

I'm very close to my maternal grandma. She lives 5 minutes away so I see her often and when I was little I would spend two afternoons a week at her house while my parents were working. My maternal grandpa passed away before I was born so I never knew him and my paternal grandma passed away when I was 2 or 3 and I don't remember her. I also lost my paternal grandpa in November. We used to be close but I didn't see him at all in the past 3 years. He lived an hour away and I just never got up there to visit. I know I'll regret that forever and I wish I had called him more often and gotten someone to take me up to visit. Just remember that once they're gone, they're gone for good so don't lose the chance to be close to your grandparents while you still have them!

 

[yoopermom]

OP here, wanting to thank everyone for their opinions. I never meant to imply that you couldn't be a good grandparent unless you lived close, so I hope none of you took it that way. Hugs to all the grands, parents and kids both!
Terri