I'm the meanest, evilist Mom around (Long)

Should I

  • Give her back the GameBoy Now?

  • Giver her back the GameBoy after a couple of months or so?

  • Have her Dad take it back to the store?

  • Other (and please explain)


Results are only viewable after voting.
I haven't read the other responses, so I may duplicate.

I would give the GB to her dad to be kept at his house. It would be up to him if he allowed her to use it while she visits him.

Mmmaaayyybbbbeee, at Christmas, I would buy her another.

12 is old enough to take responsibility for her action in this case.
 
Children need to learn the value of things and instantly replacing stuff that gets lost or broken doesn't help. Sounds like you know this and now XDH agrees he was played. If XDH doesn't take it back, at least have it in storage until she earns the $$$ to buy it. babysitting, doing extra chores around the house, whatever. Either that or wait until Christmas or other gift giving holiday.

Mean Mom's of the World Unite! Wear your title proudly. It takes guts to earn this one.
 
I would figure out a way to make her "earn" it back. If she really wants it, then she's capable of doing chores either at your house or at her father's house to make up for the loss.

My SIL never, ever, felt the consequences for her actions because her parents were bailing her out so often. As an adult, she still cannot make the connection between making a mistake (which of course, we all make) and expending the effort to remedy the mistake. She just waits for someone else to "fix it".

Which is a drag when the mistake is $20,000 in past-due consumer debt and no way to pay it. :eek:
 
Disney Doll said:
Well, I don't know what to tell you. I agree with you with regard to her lack of trying to find the Gameboy and losing it in the first place.

But you and Dad have to get on the same page. This is a classic case of the kid having the ability to play one against the other.


Absolutely. He gets to be "Disneyland Daddy" and you get to be the Wicked Witch of the East. The time to have gotton on the same page was before he purchased a replacement. Now, no matter what happens it will be "mom's idea". I would return it and tell her, its between you and your father and then have a talk with the dad and try to make sure it doesn't happen again.
 

Cass said:
Well, according to D12 I am.

Should I give it back?

Am I the meanest Mother alive?
i agree 100% with you, and i'm glad to read that your ex is backing you as he should... not be the 'nice guy' while you do the actual raising of the child... my gut is telling me that there is more to this story.. something she is afraid to tell you or someone she is afraid to confront. i'd get the school involved and not just let it go. the kid who has it needs to be punished and your daughter needs to learn a lesson.
 
I voted that XDH should take it back to the store. Now he knows that she "conveniently" left out the part where she wasn't supposed to take it to school and hadn't even looked for it. He was being played for a sucker.
 
If she were my daughter, I would not allow her to have the GB for a LONG time. 12 is definitely old enough to manage her belongings, and if she can't (for example, this missing GB) then she shouldn't have those things. As a First Grade teacher, I can tell you that I rarely had 7 yo's misplace anything more expensive than a pencil or a crayon. They knew the rule was if you chose to bring it to school and something happens to it, then you were out of luck. Yes they could go to lost and found and look for it at the end of the day, but I would not allow them to go door to door throughout the entire school, interrupting every class to ask if anyone had seen the item (like some other teachers :confused3 ). Our school also had a policy about bring GB's and other expensive items to school. They were stictly forbidden at any time because several had "disappeared" before they were outlawed. Teachers have loads of things to take care of in the normal course of a day and spending lots of time day after day to look for someone's toy shouldn't be one of them. JMO.

GraysMom
 
FWIW at 12 years old I think it was ok that you let her take it to school with your warnings and concerns as to why it was a bad idea. I think there is more to the story as to what happened to it and I hope you can find out at some point. Hopefully she learned a lesson by loosing the GBA and IMHO told you so's aren't necessary (a mistake I am trying to correct!).

As for the new one, like others mentioned I personally would make her earn it. I would expect a complete and thorough search for the old one as well as a more complete explanation of what happend in the first place. I would also put a monetary or point value on the new GBA and then assign a $ or point value to chores to "buy" it back. Perhaps this will give her the sense of value with this one that she seems not to have had with the old one??

Good luck and sometimes we just have to be "mean" don't we?

TJ
 
I voted other b/c according to your first post, she hasn't made an effort to "find"her lost Gameboy. I don't think that should be rewarded with a new one. She needs to get on the stick and call around to her friends to find it.

I'm not sure if/when I would give her the one dad gave her.
 
I had her Dad return it to the store. She is mad about it, but oh well. She still has not put any effort into finding the last one so I am not going to worry about it. DD can do without.

Mean Mothers of the world - unite.
 
My DD is only 6 and I get called mean all the time!! I think you made the right choice!!
 
I would also be very upset that she wasn't doing anything to track down the other one. I would be more upset about that than the fact that it was taken
 
It's tuff to have divorced parents. One perk is that you get a new gameboy when you are with your Dad for no reason.

There is more to the missing game boy story.
 
Cass said:
Oh and one more tidbit for you to consider. She told me that she wants the new one because it is a better version of gameboy, faster, brighter, smaller in size.

She definately doesn't seem interested in finding the last one. :confused3
Bingo.
I know it's hard, but you did good Mom. :thumbsup2
 
Hmm, I wonder if there isn't more to the story, too.

I'm glad your ex is backing you up, though!
 
I would have let her keep it. Maybe she was afraid of accusing her friends of stealing it. Or she knew who took it but the person is a bully and she was afraid of causing problems.

There's something she's not telling you.

And the new DS Lite is better. :)
 
You did the right thing!!!!!!!!

I would have taken the new gameboy away just as soon as she walked in the door. The only way I would even consider giving it back to her, she actually made the phone calls necessary to try and find her old gameboy. You daughter is 12 (correct??) she is old enough to learn a little responsibility. If she wants her new gameboy back....make her earn it. Chores, paper route, lawn mowing, show shoveling.....what ever it takes to earn the money to replace the old one.

I'm sure this sounds harsh, but those were the "rules" in my house while growing up, and they will be the rule in my house as my child grows older.

Edit: You're a parent first, not her friend......kids need parents to teach them the rules.
 
FigmentLover said:
I would have taken the new gameboy away just as soon as she walked in the door.


I did! her Dad was still in the driveway :teeth:

Anyway, she is not impressed with me and I'm pretty disappointed in her too, a lesson for both of us.
 
*I would get an appointment & talk with the teacher, ask him/her if the teacher knows any other details. Your DD left out some details to her dad, maybe she also left out some details with you...

*If I were suspicious(maybe she broke/lost it on purpose, maybe someone bullied it out of her hands, whatever), I would consider seeing if you can posibly find out the missing details. Maybe talk to her friends as you see them at the bus stop or around the neighborhood. Maybe calling up some of the other parents you are friendly with. Now I'm not talking about some big/overboard third-degree investigation, just activate the "Moms' Network" in a friendly way.

*That the item is missing is really not the issue. The issue is that she lied to her dad to get a new GameBoy *and* that she has not made any obvious attempts (phone calls, conversations at school) to find the missing toy.

And as others have said, it's not my job to be my DD's friend, it's my job to be her PARENT. I couldn't care less if she "hates" me.

After all (as the story goes), I am proud to be a member of "The Meanest Mother in the World" club...

agnes!

*****

The Meanest Mother In The World
Copyright© 1967 by Bobbie Pingaro

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.

But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?

The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.

By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.

Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

Written by
Bobbie Pingaro ©1967
 


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