I'm starting to stres... need advice!

[*Pixiedust1438*]

D

 

[DVC Bride 2011]

I'm really sorry this is getting so difficult for you!

I think you should invite who YOU want to invite. You won't get to do this wedding over, so I think it's really important to do exactly what you want. If you aren't that close to your dad's other siblings then you shouldn't feel pressured to invite them. It's awesome that you're planning to ask your cousin to be your flower girl because it's a great excuse as to why you are inviting that aunt & family!

We are only inviting one out of my dad's three siblings and my mom is the one who wants me to invite all three even though the two that I don't want to invite wouldn't come anyway. It's really frustrating and stressful, so I can definitely understand where you are coming from. I say if you KNOW your budget can't take your other aunt and uncle, and you don't want to invite them anyway, then don't. Your dad will get over it because ultimately, the day is about you and Shawn!

You have good reasons why you are not inviting them - remember this is YOUR day. Don't feel badly!

 

[puente0629]

My hubby and I are inviting our parents, our brothers and sisters and some very close family friends (who are more like family then some of our actual family members) which make up a total of 45 guests. We knew if we start inviting my parents brothers and sisters we would easily be over 100 people and that wasn't going to happen. Our dream wedding is more important to us then some family members who are just going to come for the food and to criticize us.

You should invite who you want and if your dad or mom wants to invite anyone else they need to pay the per person price (i.e. my hubby's niece wanted to bring a friend and we let his brother know that she can come as long as he pays for the per person price) and if you just dont want that person there, just say NO! It's your wedding and if you are dishing out the money then you have every right to decide on who comes. Remember, this is a once in a lifetime chance to get married at Disney, don't let anyone ruin in.

 

[ColeV]

We had the same reason and the same problem. My side was pretty easy, we only invited my aunt/uncle and three cousins and my godparents. We had a couple other family members and friends invited, but they couldn't make it. The only difficult decision I had was not inviting my father or that family, but it turned out my other cousin was getting married three days later and they couldn't make it anyway.
Evan's family was a nightmare though. His mother has five sisters (all with grown-up kids) and they're a tight knit family. However, Evan was really only fond of one aunt and one of her kids. The others complained so much, and so did his mother, but we just couldn't invite all of them. That family numbered 6 by themselves (not including Evan's sister and her two kids, parents, and grandmother).
We had a shower back home that included everyone and that helped. You just have to draw the line, and it can only be determined by cost and who YOU really want there.

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

We did/didnt have this problem...people understood that there was a huge cost....and a lot of people that I don't even keep in touch with...We kept it down to immediate family only. We have had to stick to our guns...my mother wanted to invite a whole side of the family I don't even talk to! But it has been worth it b/c we've been able to do what we want and keep the cost where we want it...I don't feel guilty about it at all...neither does DH...It all comes down to what you want and what you can afford.

 

[sambycat]

this is my life. i almost feel like i dont want to talk about the wedding plans with family because i cant invite all the folks i would like to if budget were no object. that being said, i have family members (cousins, aunts,uncles) i'm not particularly close with and never see (wouldn't invite/not worried about it), family members i'm not close to and don't WANT to invite and then certain family members i a closer to than others, all of whom come with - no, not plus ones - plus 87's because they are married, have kids etc...

i guess, for me, though i SHOULD have made all the guest list first, debated the location, then chose the venue accordingly and let the chips fall were they may as far as who would accept our invitation, i was raised that if you don't invite the whole group, don't invite anyone. so, at this moment, i'm not able to include a particular cousin and not her sister or her kids or what not.

that all being said, if there were more of an option to do a ceremony and cake for however many a la escape brides, we would totally do that and invite 200 folks! we started trying to fit into the escape size and were over by about 6. in the preliminary talks, the consultant sales person never mentioned the possibility of adding to the escape guest list, so we adjusted our plans and started examining more affordable wishes options. we've actually bumped our guest list up a bit to include other friends, because there isn't anyway to include ALL the family members.

however my fiance STILL thinks he can send invites to his entire family and they just "won't come".


um, yeah.

 

[brer rabbit 28]

I am in a similar situation to you. We have decided not to invite our fathers and we are not particularly close to them, plus our parents are divorced and both fathers have new partners while my Mum doesn't and Chris' Mum would not bring her (very) new partner with her. The stress of having the Stepmothers there would be too much as they are particularly catty women.

I'll be honest, it hasn't gone down too well but we are standing by our decision and we are having an at home reception which has sort of calmed the waters familywise.

We took the decision that we will never do this again and we just don't want to risk any upset on the day (which would so happen!) and also the expense would sky rocket.

Don't feel bad and stick to your guns! Maybe an at home reception would help you too.

 

[*Pixiedust1438*]

D

 

[89mj88]

im so glad other people are having this problem. my problem isnt who to cut from the guest list its my mom. she insists she wont be able to afford to go even though our wedding isnt till oct 2012. my mom dad and sis are really the only family im inviting. 1 because im not close to my dads side and 2 my moms side wont attend. its really frustrating that they are closing their minds to the idea i firmly believe anyone can save up to go espc with this much advance warning