I'm SO torn - adults night out...

[KristiMc]

We are leaving our boys at the Neverland Club for the first time in October to go to Victoria & Albert's to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. Both of them are looking forward to it since I showed them pictures and they know there are video games.

I think it will be some good down time for them and DH and I are really looking forward to our dinner.

Go out and have a great time!

 

[jtlund]

Can someone tell me where to make reservations for Neverland Club? I can'd find a number. Do they take reservations for October yet?

 

[KristiMc]

I made my reservation for October 180 days out when I made my ADR's. The cm that was making my ADR's was able to also make my reservation for the Neverland Club - that was the wdw-dine number. I'm not sure if there is another number or not.

 

[badblackpug]

If this helps....

The 1st time I took the kids to a kids club (the one @ the Poly) I felt guilty, too. After all, this was a FAMILY trip. When we picked up the kids from the club my oldes, who was at the time 6, said to me "that was fun, can we go there tomorrow night, too?"

End of guilt. We now do an "adult only" night right in the middle of every trip (just about the time we get sick of all the togetherness)

 

[DISNEYFOS]

He's social, loves his buddies that are going with us and will probably be like you kids and be MAD that I came to pick him up! Maybe after mom and dad dinner, we can take them to fireworks somewhere, go back to our room, put Shorty to bed and snuggle. Haven't done that in a while either!

I was going to comment before you posted this about your son's personality..but you answered it above...If he's is social and loves hanging out with the kids..then definitely go for it. He'll have a blast..and you and DH will enjoy your dinner out. I like the plan of picking them back up to watch the fireworks after...perfect compromise.

My DD tends to be more on the reserved side..especially if its a first time thing where she doesn't know anyone. She can be a little clingy. This is where I would hesitate to sign her up..but if she were going with friends..definitely.

 

[KSG'sDisneyMem]

I read through all of these responses and it makes me feel more comfortable to consider the clubs in a year or two. The program I have used is the Kids Nite Out. DGS is 4 this year so I will use them again but may do one of the Kids Clubs next year. What I like about them is that they will individualize for your family. They bring a suitcase full of toys for the age of your child(ren) right to your room. You can request a male or female and also request specifics such as nursing experience, degree in early childhood education, grandmotherly type. I had a lady named Ginny last year. I had asked for a grandmotherly type person with a degree in early childhood. She also worked in a doctor's office so had some experience in that area as well. I love this program because we were able to go out and the kids (DGS then 3 and DGD then 18 mos) were able to be on their same bedtime schedule for the evening. Ginny was absolutely awesome. DGS is very shy. We were most worried about him because he does not take to strangers well. Ginny let him come to her and it only took about 5 minutes for him to go to her bag and choose a dinosaur and toy car. He sat on the floor by her and then asked her a question about the dinosaur. We had prepared him ahead of time and we were so pleased that he adjusted to her so quickly. When we arrived back, the children were fast asleep without really adjusting their normal bedtime. This allowed us to got to dinner and enjoy EMH. I see your son is 5 and he is likely right at the age where the Kids Club would work well for him. Not sure what time you are planning to be out but just thought you might be interested in this option as well. I believe you said you are going with another couple with 2 children and you did not mention their ages. If they are older than your son, they will definitely be more interested in the club than in-room sitting. However, if you are planning a late night, the in-room opition is fantastic. It sounds like your son is thriving and has recovered well from his surgeries. God Bless him! Hope you all have a wonderful time. Whatever you decide, have a great time, and be comfortable with the decision you feel is best for your family. Sounds like you and DH have been very busy so a night out is well deserved!

 

[jtlund]

Every time I come back here and read responses to my OP, I feel better and better. THANK YOU! Alex (my 5 yo) is very social. The kids we are going with are 5 a 4 and he's known them forever. In fact, I think my best friend, their mom, will have more of an issue than I will leaving them because one of her girls is shy but I think if she's with Alex and her sister, she'll be fine.

I'm guilty of putting alot of my anxiety on Alex's heart issue versus me just being a MOM of a child with a heart defect. He doesn't remember what he's been through - I see/feel it like it was yesterday. I remember sitting in ICU with him DREAMING/PRAYING/HOPING for the day when I could take him to WDW and see his face the first time he saw Cinderella's Castle, etc. I'm going through the same thing now with Kindergarten. During those hospital days, I remember driving by other mom's waiting with their kids with their backpacks for the bus for the first day of school and bawled like a baby because I didn't know if I was going to get to experience that with Alex - now he's starting K-garten in Sept! A part of me is selfish because I want to spend ALL of our savings on him if that makes sense. I feel bad spending $$ on Dh and I going out when I could use that $$ to get him an extra experience for him. BUT - that's my problem. Now, after reading some of your responses, I'm 100% sure that he would have an awesome time at Neverland Club or wherever. He will probably be ecstatic when I tell him Mom and Dad can't go in THAT club - it's only for KIDS. I need to let go and be a wife again instead of an overprotective mom. THANK YOU ALL! Dh thanks you as well, I'm sure, maybe this will be the start of him getting his Wife back!

 

[badblackpug]

Every time I come back here and read responses to my OP, I feel better and better. THANK YOU! Alex (my 5 yo) is very social. The kids we are going with are 5 a 4 and he's known them forever. In fact, I think my best friend, their mom, will have more of an issue than I will leaving them because one of her girls is shy but I think if she's with Alex and her sister, she'll be fine.

I'm guilty of putting alot of my anxiety on Alex's heart issue versus me just being a MOM of a child with a heart defect. He doesn't remember what he's been through - I see/feel it like it was yesterday. I remember sitting in ICU with him DREAMING/PRAYING/HOPING for the day when I could take him to WDW and see his face the first time he saw Cinderella's Castle, etc. I'm going through the same thing now with Kindergarten. During those hospital days, I remember driving by other mom's waiting with their kids with their backpacks for the bus for the first day of school and bawled like a baby because I didn't know if I was going to get to experience that with Alex - now he's starting K-garten in Sept! A part of me is selfish because I want to spend ALL of our savings on him if that makes sense. I feel bad spending $$ on Dh and I going out when I could use that $$ to get him an extra experience for him. BUT - that's my problem. Now, after reading some of your responses, I'm 100% sure that he would have an awesome time at Neverland Club or wherever. He will probably be ecstatic when I tell him Mom and Dad can't go in THAT club - it's only for KIDS. I need to let go and be a wife again instead of an overprotective mom. THANK YOU ALL! Dh thanks you as well, I'm sure, maybe this will be the start of him getting his Wife back!

You will be spending your $$$ on your son having an extra experience. He will love the experience, and the clus aren't cheap!

 

[eeyoregon]

OP: If you decide to go with an adults night out, you might want to skip Ohana's and maybe do the California Grill (think thats what it's called at Contemporary). I LOVE Ohana's but it's not exactly a quiet, romantic venue. Plus they do several kids interactive activities which might make you miss the little man.

Glad to hear your little man is doing so well and that your marriage made it through too. My DS12 had a brain tumor resection and several residual surgeries starting at 20 months. His Dad left us during it all and it was one tough road doing it alone. I am taking DS to WDW in August by himself for just mommy and me time and I can't wait!!

Good luck to you and your family and I hope your trip is everything you could hope for!

 

[mc'smommy]

You know, in my marriage and family therapy classes, we have learned that many failed marriages happen because parents focus so much on the children's wants for 18 years, that they stop taking care of their spouse's needs. When the children grow up and move out, then the parents can no longer connect, because for so long either one or both have been focusing away from each other and focusing on the child. When the child is gone, the parents have nothing in common anymore, because that one common thing is gone.

Trust me when I say that this is never a popular opinion on this board and I usually get seriously flamed anytime I post it! But my husband's needs always come before my child's wants. My goal as a parent is to raise a happy, healthy adult that can take care of herself. My goal as a wife is to spend the rest of my life with my husband.

You husband is telling you that this has been a rough road so far and he needs to reconnect with you, his wife. So, HAPPILY send your child to the kid's club and go have a night to remember with your husband!! Both of you need it and deserve it!

VERY WELL SAID !!! kudos...

Now as far as the OP, your Son will have magical time at the kids club, Cant remember the exact name at the Poly ( adventure club? ) The last time my daughter did it, she was 6 and got to have dinner with Wendy and Mad Hatter and BEGGED me to go out again when I went to pick her up....

needless to say she went back the next night, while I lounged around the Poly for 3 hours.....LOL

 

[jtlund]

OP: If you decide to go with an adults night out, you might want to skip Ohana's and maybe do the California Grill (think thats what it's called at Contemporary). I LOVE Ohana's but it's not exactly a quiet, romantic venue. Plus they do several kids interactive activities which might make you miss the little man.

Glad to hear your little man is doing so well and that your marriage made it through too. My DS12 had a brain tumor resection and several residual surgeries starting at 20 months. His Dad left us during it all and it was one tough road doing it alone. I am taking DS to WDW in August by himself for just mommy and me time and I can't wait!!

Good luck to you and your family and I hope your trip is everything you could hope for!

One of my other heart mom friends had the same thing happen. She and her husband grew further apart. With my dh, it brough us closer emotionally but further physically. More because of my worrying about ds all the time - dh was understanding and patient with me. I need to start giving him the time I gave to ds. Need to find my balance. I hope you and your DS have a wonderful time! I wish you were going in October - I'd love to meet you.

 

[El&Asmom]

Have fun on your night out. I can't imagine what you have been through and am so glad your ds is doing well.
Forget the guilt. Dh and I are going on a three night trip to WDW in Sept by ourselves! We have never left the girls with anyone for more than one night. Talk about guilt. We are lucky enough to be DVC members, so dds have been to the world 4 and 3 times so it's not like they are missing out.
Have fun with your dh. I too firmly believe that a marriage has to come first, (within reason). There are times in marriage when you are forced to spend more energy on your children, but I feel that you should also take advantage of the times when you can remember why you started a family in the first place. We are expecting dd#3 in Dec, and know that we will be up to our ears in kids. We are going to use this trip to enjoy each other before everything gets really crazy.

Have fun.

 

[saratogadreamin09]

first off, if you do ohana's take the kids, there's always a lot of families there so it's not the place to go for a adult's night out

my group always love california grill, yachtsman steakhouse, portabello yachtsclub, fulton's crab house, and big river grille and brewing works



second, i understand why you feel guilty bu you've had a rough 5 years too and it's your vacation just as much as its your son's so you totally should go

i'm sure he'll love the clubs and if your that concerned then dont stay out too late(like dont pull a all nighter at pleasure island)

 

[DevilDuckie]

Trust me when I say that this is never a popular opinion on this board and I usually get seriously flamed anytime I post it! But my husband's needs always come before my child's wants. My goal as a parent is to raise a happy, healthy adult that can take care of herself. My goal as a wife is to spend the rest of my life with my husband.

Your husband's needs *are* your child's needs. A child is best served by parents who take care of themselves and each other in addition to the child. One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was having a happy marriage.

 

[nyyankeegirl]

You know, in my marriage and family therapy classes, we have learned that many failed marriages happen because parents focus so much on the children's wants for 18 years, that they stop taking care of their spouse's needs. When the children grow up and move out, then the parents can no longer connect, because for so long either one or both have been focusing away from each other and focusing on the child. When the child is gone, the parents have nothing in common anymore, because that one common thing is gone.

Trust me when I say that this is never a popular opinion on this board and I usually get seriously flamed anytime I post it! But my husband's needs always come before my child's wants. My goal as a parent is to raise a happy, healthy adult that can take care of herself. My goal as a wife is to spend the rest of my life with my husband.

You husband is telling you that this has been a rough road so far and he needs to reconnect with you, his wife. So, HAPPILY send your child to the kid's club and go have a night to remember with your husband!! Both of you need it and deserve it!

I totally agree with all that you just said! My children are super important to me, but if my husband & I aren't connecting, I feel it trickles back down to the kids in my attitude. Everyone in the family needs to be happy, not just the children.
To the OP, go out & enjoy your night. I've heard the Neverland Club at the Poly is awesome! All the kids will love it!

 

[DVC Sadie]

You know, in my marriage and family therapy classes, we have learned that many failed marriages happen because parents focus so much on the children's wants for 18 years, that they stop taking care of their spouse's needs. When the children grow up and move out, then the parents can no longer connect, because for so long either one or both have been focusing away from each other and focusing on the child. When the child is gone, the parents have nothing in common anymore, because that one common thing is gone.

Trust me when I say that this is never a popular opinion on this board and I usually get seriously flamed anytime I post it! But my husband's needs always come before my child's wants. My goal as a parent is to raise a happy, healthy adult that can take care of herself. My goal as a wife is to spend the rest of my life with my husband.

You husband is telling you that this has been a rough road so far and he needs to reconnect with you, his wife. So, HAPPILY send your child to the kid's club and go have a night to remember with your husband!! Both of you need it and deserve it!

Great post and I agree 100%!

 

[Patita]

Great post and I agree 100%!

me too

 

[eliza61]

You know, in my marriage and family therapy classes, we have learned that many failed marriages happen because parents focus so much on the children's wants for 18 years, that they stop taking care of their spouse's needs. When the children grow up and move out, then the parents can no longer connect, because for so long either one or both have been focusing away from each other and focusing on the child. When the child is gone, the parents have nothing in common anymore, because that one common thing is gone.

:

Amen & hallejuiah
I see it every day at the law office I use to manage. I know it's very hard especiallly for us moms (you should see the basket case I'm turning into because my oldest wants to go to college in Europe-I'm going to qualify for prozac by the time this is done). We spend so much of our energy focusing on our little ones any thing left over is usually minimal.
I can only imagine the scare of having a little one who is sick but your Dh has already said he needs this time with you. Nothing wrong or selfish about that.
Every one is quoting DMslush because she said it so eloquently. No one in your family comes out ahead if one of the parents are burned out and the couple is not connecting.
Besides I've have a sneaky suspicion that you need time to reconnect as an adult also.

 

[churchpilot]

Being in the medical field, I have seen so many families ripped apart by the stress of caring for and getting care for a sick child. You and your husband have already passed a milestone that 64% of other families with sick children do not---you are still together. If you celebrate nothing else, celebrate that you have beat the odds. I would be willing to bet that when your son is older, he will appreciate the fact that his mommy and daddy found a way to get him help and stay together as a family. Surprise your husband and dress up in a decidedly un-Disney outfit and take him somewhere special. You will have this additional memory as well as the memories of your son's face as he discovers everything Disney has to offer. Your husband will have the memory of knowing that he is indeed one of the most important things in your life---as he should be.

 

[shruley]

Another heart mama here. We've had 2 open hearts so far, with one more in the next couple years. Then hopefully we're done for good except continued cath proceedures...

All I can tell you is I took my heart baby on a Disney Cruise last year when she turned 1 (that deserved a big party right?) and I had no problem leaving her in the nursery on several occasions!! It had been an exhausting year, and we needed some time alone as well. Neither of us got that much. She was still on her Viagra at the time, but otherwise was healthy and didn't require special care and the one day she was actually awake to play there she had a great time. Much more freedom to move and play that she had most of the other time on the boat.

If your child is stable and can be in the kids club and likes that kind of stuff I see no reason to not have an adults night out! If he's at all like mine, he loves people and is easy going around things. (And has a high pain tolerance! I'm told that's typical?) Because of all the time in the hospital Mikella has always liked people and loves being in group settings like that. Your husband is right, you do have a lot of other things planned. I wouldn't feel guilty about leaving him for a few hours. Unless he absolutely hates being away from you or that kind of setting. At his age, I'd bet he would really like the kids clubs, more-so than maybe when he's older. On the Cruise, my 4 year old often asked to go there to play. Most of the deluxe resorts near the MK have kids clubs.

On our last WDW trip, we did in-room babysitting since we had a 2 year old. We have a very high maintence child. That night cost a lot but was pure heaven. WDW is so hectic, especially with kids, that the ability to relax if even for a couple hours was so nice!