I'm not enjoying this 7 year old phase

[piglet too]

Battle of wills is no fun, no matter the age. My 13yr old (just this week) likes to tell us that we are violating her constitutional rights by forcing her to do whatever it is that she's arguing about doing.

 

[bsblady01]

Welllll now that I've made this all about me haha. You guys are experts at diagnosing because he does have both ADHD and autism. He was diagnosed as ADHD at age 4....medication got him a lot more stable but I long thought something else was going on. A few months ago his teacher suggested I get him tested for autism. I'm still processing and sorting it all out but I'm hopeful about what progress we can make now that he qualifies for more services.



That was a bad way to put it. He is a sensory seeker and very affectionate a lot of the time. He loves to cuddle up on the couch, we actually co sleep in my bed, and he has not yet outgrown the hugs and kisses when I drop him off in the morning. But if he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to, and that's that. That's where I don't try anymore.

you will get through this they have lots of great programs for kids with autism, I know here in new York they have an awesome summer camp for kids with special needs, they also have some support groups for parents

 

[bsblady01]

wait till you have the clothing battle in a few years

 

[Tiffylv]

.

 

[superme80]

Battle of wills is no fun, no matter the age. My 13yr old (just this week) likes to tell us that we are violating her constitutional rights by forcing her to do whatever it is that she's arguing about doing.

That was my line when I was that age! Never worked on my mom either. My dad on the other hand.....

 

[bcwife76]

Oh my goodness, I could've written this post word for word. My oldest daughter turns 7 in August and she is just.....ornary.....obstinate, argumentative......and so many other annoying traits all rolled into one. And that attitude....god help me....*passes you a gigantic glass of wine*

 

[lauradis]

Oh yes, "you hurt my feelings." That's in dd's arsenal. Sorry, if you defy and disobey you're going to get in trouble. If I hurt your feelings so be it.

My favorite things is "you hurt my feelings", then when they finish telling you why. Tell them "you hurt my feelings, too". The look on their little faces are priceless.

 

[lauradis]

Battle of wills is no fun, no matter the age. My 13yr old (just this week) likes to tell us that we are violating her constitutional rights by forcing her to do whatever it is that she's arguing about doing.

I really hope your line was wow honey you going to be a great lawyer someday, but you still have to do x and x right now.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

My favorite things is "you hurt my feelings", then when they finish telling you why. Tell them "you hurt my feelings, too". The look on their little faces are priceless.

When mine say that over something silly I say, "You hurt my head".

My twins are 8.

My daughter, who is generally a rough and tough tomboy, is very sensitive. She probably cries once a day and I'm usually baffled as to why. My son is actually the opposite. He's finally coming out of his shell and I'm seeing him being more confident.

Lately they are like SUPER ANNOYING. Always in my face and always being really weird(which is sometimes funny and sometimes not). Maybe it's my fault for just letting them be them, but sometimes they need to bring it down about 50 notches...

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Oh yeah.

My DD just reminded me of another thing that has recently started in this phase of their lives...
They are the smartest people they know. Know it alls. Ugh.

 

[fly girl]

Welllll now that I've made this all about me haha. You guys are experts at diagnosing because he does have both ADHD and autism. He was diagnosed as ADHD at age 4....medication got him a lot more stable but I long thought something else was going on. A few months ago his teacher suggested I get him tested for autism. I'm still processing and sorting it all out but I'm hopeful about what progress we can make now that he qualifies for more services.



That was a bad way to put it. He is a sensory seeker and very affectionate a lot of the time. He loves to cuddle up on the couch, we actually co sleep in my bed, and he has not yet outgrown the hugs and kisses when I drop him off in the morning. But if he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to, and that's that. That's where I don't try anymore.

You didn't make it all about you at all!

Sounds like you are doing all you can to give him the love and support he needs. I'm so glad you get those snuggles too.

 

[fly girl]

Battle of wills is no fun, no matter the age. My 13yr old (just this week) likes to tell us that we are violating her constitutional rights by forcing her to do whatever it is that she's arguing about doing.

Oh man, they pull out anything! Although I know it's completely annoying that did make me giggle. You guys had to laugh behind the scenes first time she said that.

 

[fly girl]

wait till you have the clothing battle in a few years

Thankfully, she has a uniform for school. That at least makes school mornings easier.

 

[fly girl]

Lately they are like SUPER ANNOYING. Always in my face and always being really weird(which is sometimes funny and sometimes not). Maybe it's my fault for just letting them be them, but sometimes they need to bring it down about 50 notches...

Ha, I'm constantly saying take it down a notch! And why so loud? I'm right across the table from you, you don't need to use a booming voice!

 

[htmom]

Ah yes, the 10 year old girl and her "feeellliiinnggs" ours also loves to throw out there that "nobody likes me" I love to say "well I love you" her latest response is always "then show me by giving back my kindle" (or whatever was confiscated lol)
My husband and I like to joke that she has many friends to play with and do stuff with until she gets in trouble, then they all magically never existed

The 13 year old boy is the negotiations king. Everything he feels should be up for negotiation even if you just walk away from him. I tell him weekly I don't negotiate with terrorists

 

[lauradis]

Ha, I'm constantly saying take it down a notch! And why so loud? I'm right across the table from you, you don't need to use a booming voice!

Have you tried talking in a booming voice to her? Or the what I cant hear you please talk louder?

 

[barkley]

Welllll now that I've made this all about me haha. You guys are experts at diagnosing because he does have both ADHD and autism. He was diagnosed as ADHD at age 4....medication got him a lot more stable but I long thought something else was going on. A few months ago his teacher suggested I get him tested for autism. I'm still processing and sorting it all out but I'm hopeful about what progress we can make now that he qualifies for more services.



That was a bad way to put it. He is a sensory seeker and very affectionate a lot of the time. He loves to cuddle up on the couch, we actually co sleep in my bed, and he has not yet outgrown the hugs and kisses when I drop him off in the morning. But if he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to, and that's that. That's where I don't try anymore.

I could have written this about my ds(18) but he wasn't diagnosed on the spectrum until he was older. went through the tantrums and the limp limbed toddler/super strength stages as well (broke my nose twice before he turned 2 w/his thrashing). just want to tell you that w/the right therapy for him/you the positive changes can be AMAZING. i thought dh and i would NEVER get him out of our bed-took about a year but his mindset changed and it happened. thought the tantrums would be our norm-he still gets mad but has the skills/techniques to more properly deal with it (and we've learned deescalating techniques that don't sabotage our household/family rules).

yup-it takes awhile to process as a parent, and as stuff comes up you start processing again-but that diagnosis w/access to more services provides a light at the end of the tunnel-it might be just a speck of light at this point but as your ds progresses it will be a blinding torch.

take care and stay strong.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have 3 teens, and 2 almost teens. Remember theses three words: Do not engage... This prevents many meltdowns and tears (yours and hers).

 

[barkley]

I wanna scream!!


In the past month my child has gone from a pretty good kid (sure she has her days, as all of us do) to a dramatic diva.


The last three or four weekends we have had complete meltdowns over not getting her way. The meltdowns always start from wanting to stay outside vs. coming inside. And believe me she had plenty of time outside, over 4 hours today. I love her being outside and playing, but I need to get things accomplished too. I don't give in, I wish to God she would get that. But no, we are doing this phase and it is feeling like an ETERNITY!!


And wish me luck, her behavior tonight just got her grounded from going outside tomorrow. Yeah, this is gonna be fun. OY!!


I need a glass of wine. I'm over this 7 year old testing phase. Over it I tell you!!



...anyone go through this with a 7 year old so I don't feel alone? As my husband is away at work I am singing, "All By Myself."

op-you say this has been going on for just the past month. is there any chance this is happening b/c the school year is coming to an end/she will be going into a higher grade next school year?

i ask this b/c w/my dd (and ds to some extent) it seemed like when they were younger their behaviors could get out of whack as the school year was winding down. they were looking forward to summer but knowing they wouldn't be w/all their school buddies and doing their regular routine (sometimes they didn't even realize it but were just reacting to it). this got further compounded if their teacher(s) were doing the standard speeches about 'you need to take more responsibility, you won't be an x grader next year-you'll be in y grade and you will be expected to.../the work will be more challenging....', then they hear from kids currently in the grade they're going into 'you have it so EASY, wait till next year when you're in y grade, we have to do......' (and your child doesn't think about how that kid is talking about what they are doing at the END of their y year vs. where they started out at the beginning). it can be something as simple (to us adults) as knowing when they go into y grade they will be changing playgrounds to the 'big kids' (i know at some of the schools we've dealt w/this frequently happens around 3rd grade) or having a different section of the lunchroom/lockers. it's stressful to the child but they don't know how to verbalize it and act out where/with whom they are comfortable and feel safe-home/mom.

 

[Tiffylv]

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