I'm looking for opinions on a parenting matter.

[DisneyObsessed]

Here's the scoop. Your 15 yo son, 12 yo daughter and their 13 yo friend from across the street tell both moms that they're going for a bike ride. They're taking a cell phone. Not even an hour later, mom1 calls mom2 (me) and asks me to call the kids and see where they are because mom1s husband is out looking for them and can't find them. 15yo son answers and says they're at a park, about a mile or so away by the bike path in the woods. Mom1 starts going ballistic, takes off in her car, dad1 calls 15yo and tell them to stay where they are. He's coming to get his daughter. Mom2(me)tells her kids to come right home because they didn't say they were going quite that far. Mom and Dad1 come home with 13 yo daughter and bike in car and daughter is grounded for who knows how long. I tell my kids, if they are going that far they should have let me know, but since they did have the phone and I could get in touch with them at any point, I didn't see the point in punishing. Am I too leniant? or is Mom1 a little over the top. I'm open to any comments. I can take it
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Dawn

 

[Pam]

I don't know what kind of neighborhood you live in - but 1 mile for a bike ride really isn't that much of a distance at all.

Your children sound very mature and responsible - they took a cell phone and answered promptly when you called.

Since you had not set up a distance allowed before they left, I agree with you in not punishing them.

 

[Bojangles]

Her child may have been given specific boundaries she had to stay within.

 

[Serena]

The only thing I can think of is that she didn't ask if she could leave afterall. Or wasn't supposed to go to that park or something.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

Her mother and I were having a discussion when they left. She never said anything to her daughter. I was right there. And the neighborhood where I live is very, very nice and very quiet. I live in a town where we are considered "snobs" by some people. However, I don't live in the $400,000+ homes that are here. I live in a very modest ranch.

 

[Beauty]

Humm she was on bike trails, they had a cell phone, I don't see a problem. We always rode our bikes miles and miles. I'm still protective because I won't let my 12 year old ride his bike on the streets but we also have woods behind our house and all of the neighborhood kids ride their bikes in the woods on the trails they made.

I think she went overboard unless the little girl was told specifically not to go that far or ?????? I do understand thats its a SCARY world nowdays but I just really don't see a problem.

 

[Gupsmom]

I think it was fine to just explain that you really didn't understand that they intended on riding that far and telling the kids that next time they had to be clear on where they were going. They didn't really DO anything wrong unless you feel that they were purposely vague because they knew you wouldn't let them go to the park (doesn't sound like that's what happened though).

As for the other child, it's hard to say if the parent's went overboard...plus there isn't anything you can do about it anyway. Maybe their DD knows she can't go to the park alone or she has a definately boundary that was broken here.

Jess

 

[Cruisin]

Disney Obsessed, I think that you handled your part of it just fine.

Your son is 15 and they had a phone and answered it when you called. They told you exactly where they were when you called.

I personally would be fine with that especially since you live in a fairly safe area. Of course no place to totally safe but three teenagers together is pretty safe.

Maybe the other parents overreacted to the situation but that is their choice.

You have to start to give them freedom at some point or they won't know how to handle it when they do finally get some.

 

[Serena]

I think she went overboard, but without knowing the situation it's hard to say much of anything.

 

[CEDmom]

If the girls mother didn't give her specific instructions and the kids stayed together I don't really see the problem. 1 mile is hardly anything on a bike. From what you've posted it does sound like the girls parents did over react a bit. For all their sakes I hope they lighten up a bit before their DD gets rebellous.

 

[elgerber]

I do not think you are too lenient. If you did not tell your children not to go that far, then they did nothing wrong. I agree with everyone else. If her parents told her not to go there, then she should be in trouble, but if they just think she rode too far I think they are overreacting a little bit.

Erika

 

[tiggersmom2]

I have always lived in the "sticks". When my brothers and I were kids we would ride our bikes all over the cow fields. I'm talking MILES. My mom worked and we always stayed with my grandma, she never knew where we were! I'm not saying that is the best policy in the world but we survived.

BTW - I would NOT let my kids roam anywhere - but ,within two miles of the house with a cell phone, I wouldn't stress!

 

[Kallison]

I think at their ages they could be trusted to ride their bikes a mile away if you live in a safe area. Especially since there were three of them together.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

Thanks guys. That's how I felt too. This mother has always been waaayyyy overprotective of her children. I've been afraid since I've known them, that the kids were gonna take off when they're old enough. The other day, we all were walking our dogs. This same mother was screaming, and I mean screaming at her 9 yo son to stop walking on the ice. He was going to slip and fall. OMG. Kids have been walking on ice since the beginning of time, Lady. Hello. She's driving us nuts I know how she raises her children is her business, but we have to listen to it constantly. UGH! Sometimes I wish I lived in the woods with no neighbors.

 

[my3kids]

If only all the kids were America were out riding bikes and going to parks via bike trails! Sounds like a great warm day activity. I don't see any problem.

 

[Mishetta]

OMG!! I feel like I'm just like that "Psycho" Parent neighbor you have!! Just a couple weeks ago as we were standing at the bus stop, my DS starts walking & sliding on a piece of ice & I was screaming at him too! (Of course, I don't want him to get his uniform dirty or torn just before he climbs the school bus...) I would have probably been nuts too if I didn't know where my DS was ~ I'm hoping that this Mom would have already set boundaries & perhaps that's why she was so upset. Maybe she didn't remind her DD this time.

We let our DS play with the neighbor boy. Well, one Saturday when he was supposed to be over there, we needed to go somewhere, so my DH went over there to get him & the neighbor told my DH that the boys had gone over to another boys house. I was LIVID. First off, we didn't even know these people & second we have told him that if he goes anywhere other than where he's supposed to be, he needs to tell us or ask us first. But I don't tell him that every time he leaves the house...it's one of those rules that apply ALWAYS. So maybe that was the case with your neighbor.

 

[Rajah]

3 kids, in their teens, riding together, with a cell phone, during the day, in a "safe" area, just a mile from home.

Nope, don't see a problem there, either.

 

[Lewski709]

I wouldn't punish your daughter.

 

[gallaj0]

If those were my kids, I'd be more worried about the phone bill .