I'm irritated by..... Update #3

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

So here is todays update.

My dd is very excited for her sleepover and had a great day.

I just got a text from my friend that things are going surprisingly well with her dd, ds, Jess and the twins (one boy and one girl).

My friend then wanted to know if I was sure that we would not be going down tomorrow after I got off work.

I explained that no we would not be going and that chances are she would be too tired to go anyway. I then said that I had let dd plan a sleepover so she would not feel bad tomorrow when she found out that Jess and the twins had gone to Disneyland with Lisa today.

My friend then texted that she felt bad that she did not bring my dd. She said she almosted texted me last night to see if my dd could join them.

So maybe I am petty, but I am glad she feels bad. Even if she had texted me I would not have let my dd go and be put in the same situation again.

 

[FredinFL]

Then we are petty together, because I'm glad she feels bad too. She should.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Then we are petty together, because I'm glad she feels bad too. She should.

 

[luvsJack]

Then we are petty together, because I'm glad she feels bad too. She should.

I will join ya'll in that pettiness! I totally agree that she should feel bad.

 

[mom2grace]

So here is todays update.

My dd is very excited for her sleepover and had a great day.

I just got a text from my friend that things are going surprisingly well with her dd, ds, Jess and the twins (one boy and one girl).

My friend then wanted to know if I was sure that we would not be going down tomorrow after I got off work.

I explained that no we would not be going and that chances are she would be too tired to go anyway. I then said that I had let dd plan a sleepover so she would not feel bad tomorrow when she found out that Jess and the twins had gone to Disneyland with Lisa today.

My friend then texted that she felt bad that she did not bring my dd. She said she almosted texted me last night to see if my dd could join them.

So maybe I am petty, but I am glad she feels bad. Even if she had texted me I would not have let my dd go and be put in the same situation again.

And you are teaching the mom an important lesson about how to treat you and your daughter and if you are sharing this with your daughter, you are teaching her about how to behave regarding how you want to be treated. To a large degree (with many exceptions, no flames please), you teach people how to treat you. You are teaching your friend and your daughter that you don't do "drama"! WTG!

 

[FredinFL]

Nicely said!

 

[badblackpug]

I think you handled things well. The mother was a fool for getting sucked into little girl drama.

I had a thought as to what may have happened:
Your friend dropped your daughter off 1st, and vented to you about what happened and said she wouldn't be taking either girl on the next trip. She got back into the car, and probably told Jess that she would be having a talk with her mother, too. At that point, Jess, being a pre-teen girl, probably put the blame on your daughter, to keep herself out of trouble, or to try to preserve her return trip.

If Lisa's mother is your friend, I would have a discussion about the situation with her. Preface it with "I know my daughter was wrong, and we had a long discussion about her behavior and she was truly sorry, that is why she apologized, and she truly meant it. .....but... she was very hurt when she found out about the sleepover and the fact that Jess was invited on the return trip.....

 

[Nancyg56]

Then we are petty together, because I'm glad she feels bad too. She should.

I would be privately glad as well.

 

[tlbwriter]

So maybe I am petty, but I am glad she feels bad. Even if she had texted me I would not have let my dd go and be put in the same situation again.

So your daughter isn't the only one who learned a lesson from all of this!

 

[ccgirl]

And you are teaching the mom an important lesson about how to treat you and your daughter and if you are sharing this with your daughter, you are teaching her about how to behave regarding how you want to be treated. To a large degree (with many exceptions, no flames please), you teach people how to treat you. You are teaching your friend and your daughter that you don't do "drama"! WTG!

No flames here.....I think this is very well put. I hear so many people say they don't know why <insert name here> treat them so poorly. In my experience, I find most of the time it is because people let them.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

OP - you did right. The vindication is deserved (as long as you don't boast about it to your DD).

You are showing her that even when things don't go your way, you can take the high road, do what is right, and move on.

 

[OceanAnnie]

So here is todays update.

My dd is very excited for her sleepover and had a great day.

I just got a text from my friend that things are going surprisingly well with her dd, ds, Jess and the twins (one boy and one girl).

My friend then wanted to know if I was sure that we would not be going down tomorrow after I got off work.

I explained that no we would not be going and that chances are she would be too tired to go anyway. I then said that I had let dd plan a sleepover so she would not feel bad tomorrow when she found out that Jess and the twins had gone to Disneyland with Lisa today.

My friend then texted that she felt bad that she did not bring my dd. She said she almosted texted me last night to see if my dd could join them.

So maybe I am petty, but I am glad she feels bad. Even if she had texted me I would not have let my dd go and be put in the same situation again.

It's good that she feels bad. Maybe there is hope for her. IMO, she didn't handle it very well as a friend to you and as your DD's friend's mother. I would expect better treatment from a friend.

ETA- I agree with pps, you handled it very well.

 

[DipsyDoodles]

Lisa's mom sounds like a jerk. She singled your daughter out and made her feel bad about ignoring Lisa and then turned around and did exactly what she was upset about back to your daughter, she doesn't sound like a friend that I'd want to have

I agree 100%!

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Thanks for all the input and support!

No, I have not vented about this to my dd..... that's what the dis is for.


The mom did text me last night that she would never be bringing a child she has only known for a few days to disneyland with her again. I thought -yeah right thats what you said on monday but I responded with WHat happened. She then texted back it had to be discussed in person.

So I may hear about what happened when drops the kids off. (I work at the school and am covering the Spring Break camp which is why the kids see each other each day).

But you know what- I don't really care. My dd has gone with her countless times, we have gone together as families countless times, and the only time my friend has ever had an issue with my dd was this past monday.

My dd has been taught (or trained, ) to respect her friends parent and the rules they have on outings. Monday was the first time she had ever walked away from Lisas mom on an outing like that. DD also has a cell phone that she takes on these types of outings or sleepovers. She knows to call me if there is something making her uncomfortable. Which hasn't ever happened with Lisas mom.

My dd is not perfect, as her behavior on mondays outing showed. BUT.... she is willing to own up for her mistakes, make amends, and learn what not to do in the future.


On a side note.... why do they call them sleepovers if sleep is the last thing on the girls mind? DD had a great time but I think we both will be going to bed early tonight.

 

[tlbwriter]

The mom did text me last night that she would never be bringing a child she has only known for a few days to disneyland with her again. I thought -yeah right thats what you said on monday but I responded with WHat happened. She then texted back it had to be discussed in person.

Either she's got a lot of gall (complaining to you about the child who replaced your DD on the trip) or she feels so bad that she wants you to know they were miserable!

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Okay so my friend found me on the playground with the kids today and came up to talk to me.

SHe told me once again that she felt really bad about my dd not going yesterday. I told her that dd had a great time at the sleepover and is looking forward to going with me this weekend.

My Friend then told me that Jess was arguing with her ds all day. My friend constantly had to step in and intervene. I asked what happened. She said Jess kept constantly attacking her ds over every little thing. I aksed how much time did Jess spend with Lisa and she admitted not much. The twins kept themselves occupied for the most part.

The best part of the story is when they were in line for Autopia Jess leans over the railing and spits on the people in car below her.

The people got extremely upset, rightly so. My friend then had to deal with the CMs and Jess. I guess she spent about 30 minutes dealing with the angry people.

At the end of the story my friend admitted to much easier it is to take my dd with her then these other children. I told her she was right because my dd respects her, follows the rules, and for the most part behaves well.

My friend then told me that she canceled thier trip to Disneyland today. It just wasnt worth it she told me.

But she did ask if we wanted to go on Friday. She wants to see Fantasmic but doesn't really want to wait for a seat. I had volunteered long ago to go with her when she wants to see it. My job would be to save our seats and she would take the kids on rides. It was to be a win win for all of us. My dd hates waiting but loves fantasmic - so this would have worked out really well.

I asked if she was bringing Jess along on Friday with the twins. She admitted that she was. She said since she hasn't seen Jess's mom, and doesn't feel comfortable talking to the dad, she feels stuck since her initial plan with Jess's mom had been to take her. I told her once again that no, we could not go this friday since dd has hip hop and ballet but that we could do it another night -- a Jess free night. The twins I can deal with and my dd gets along with - plus she has never behaved with them the way she did with Jess on Monday.

I think she finally sees how she treated me and my dd. I think she is begining to realize that she treated both of us very poorly and is sorry for it.

I wished her luck - cuz she is going to need it tomorrow. So far Jess has ignored her dd, walked away from her, aruged endlessly with her ds, and spit on strangers causing a confrontation that involved CMs. Yet she hasn't bothered to talk to Jess's parents.

Yep - karma is taking care of her.

 

[Ceila]

My DD is 9, and all I can say is that when the drama starts (it hasn't yet, but I'm expecting it at any moment, lol), I hope to handle those situations with as much grace as you have. You sound like a great mom with a very nice daughter! And I'm glad that the other mom is starting to see the light.

 

[FredinFL]

So, she can give YOU a hard time, but Jess is spitting on people and she won't tell the parents "Sorry, you child is a beast and I'm not taking her anymore." ?

Nice.

Good for you OP. You taught your daughter a good lesson in how to treat friends and how to NOT let friends treat you.

You friend's daughter got a little jerk for a companion and is being taught how to abuse a friendship and let someone crap all over her.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Okay so my friend found me on the playground with the kids today and came up to talk to me.

SHe told me once again that she felt really bad about my dd not going yesterday. I told her that dd had a great time at the sleepover and is looking forward to going with me this weekend.

My Friend then told me that Jess was arguing with her ds all day. My friend constantly had to step in and intervene. I asked what happened. She said Jess kept constantly attacking her ds over every little thing. I aksed how much time did Jess spend with Lisa and she admitted not much. The twins kept themselves occupied for the most part.

The best part of the story is when they were in line for Autopia Jess leans over the railing and spits on the people in car below her.

The people got extremely upset, rightly so. My friend then had to deal with the CMs and Jess. I guess she spent about 30 minutes dealing with the angry people.

At the end of the story my friend admitted to much easier it is to take my dd with her then these other children. I told her she was right because my dd respects her, follows the rules, and for the most part behaves well.

My friend then told me that she canceled thier trip to Disneyland today. It just wasnt worth it she told me.

But she did ask if we wanted to go on Friday. She wants to see Fantasmic but doesn't really want to wait for a seat. I had volunteered long ago to go with her when she wants to see it. My job would be to save our seats and she would take the kids on rides. It was to be a win win for all of us. My dd hates waiting but loves fantasmic - so this would have worked out really well.

I asked if she was bringing Jess along on Friday with the twins. She admitted that she was. She said since she hasn't seen Jess's mom, and doesn't feel comfortable talking to the dad, she feels stuck since her initial plan with Jess's mom had been to take her. I told her once again that no, we could not go this friday since dd has hip hop and ballet but that we could do it another night -- a Jess free night. The twins I can deal with and my dd gets along with - plus she has never behaved with them the way she did with Jess on Monday.

I think she finally sees how she treated me and my dd. I think she is begining to realize that she treated both of us very poorly and is sorry for it.

I wished her luck - cuz she is going to need it tomorrow. So far Jess has ignored her dd, walked away from her, aruged endlessly with her ds, and spit on strangers causing a confrontation that involved CMs. Yet she hasn't bothered to talk to Jess's parents.

Yep - karma is taking care of her.

It sounds so much worse than what she dealt with before. And she is choosing not to handle it? That is really strange. If it were me, Jess would be persona non grata and she would know why, and so would her parents.

So, she can give YOU a hard time, but Jess is spitting on people and she won't tell the parents "Sorry, you child is a beast and I'm not taking her anymore." ?

Nice.

Good for you OP. You taught your daughter a good lesson in how to treat friends and how to NOT let friends treat you.

You friend's daughter got a little jerk for a companion and is being taught how to abuse a friendship and let someone crap all over her.

I know! Bizarre.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

OP - are you considering letting your DD go alone with them anymore?

I can't belive she was willing to confront you, her friend, but not Jess's parents. Is she afraid of conflict with people she barely knows? Whatsmore, if she doesn't know the parents well, why-in-the-world is she taking their child to DLR?