I'm having a guilty Mom moment....

[Kallison]

My DD ran track this year for a Catholic team, because that is the only one in town for elementary age group. She didn't make any friends, I guess it is the nature of the sport. Pretty much nobody talked to her all season, believe me she tried, she is very social. I would even grab girls and introduce them to her. She loved running though. Her award ceremony was about a month after the season was over. She didn't want to go because she had a sleepover and didn't want to leave early the next morning. She got home an hour before it started, so I said - I'll get a shower and let's go. She said no -- I said honey you really should go. She said - Why nobody knows my name. So since I've never been before and wasn't really looking forward to sitting for two hours on a gorgeous day I said fine and didn't push it. Don't you know she got a special award. The coach emailed me when I said she wouldn't make it to say she was getting a special award and I didn't open up my email until after the ceremony was over. They talked about her times, etc. DH is like no big deal. And she doesn't seem to care either. She got two huge trophies. I feel so bad, I feel like it would have meant more if she was there to pick it up. She keeps telling me she doesn't care and then she said -- well just a pinch.

 

[Van Helsing]

Their loss - I would try and forget about it and let your DD get on with other things that shes more happy with.

 

[Christine]

Hey, she still got the awards right? If she felt that she never fit in with the team, it probably would still not have been a good experience for her if she was at the awards ceremony. In fact, she probably would have felt worse. No one on the team is going to *like* her any better for having gotten those awards and to sit there alone and receive them, well that just seems depressing. I think you guys did the right thing by not going.

 

[auntpolly]

This is the coach's fault -- well, at least partially. (I love finding someone else to blame besides me!!! ) He or she should have called you to make sure you were going to be there. My daughter's school always gave us a call when something special was happening so that we could be there to take pictures.

The same thing happened to us. There is a big banquet for our swim conference every year and no one but the top swimmers ever go. One year I got calls afterwards from people who wondered why my daughter wasn't there to get her "Coach's award." I wish someone had given us a head's up. It's not the end of the world but I know how you feel -- it's one of those "live and learn" things!

 

[stacilee]

I am so sorry. For both of you.

This being a mother thing is tough isn't it?

I am afraid that the very same thing will happen next week when we are on vacation and my son's swim team has their awards night. Although he is NOT fast but HAS made the most progress this year in his age group.
The date was just announced for the family night/ awards ceremony a few days ago.
I scheduled our trip for that week because when they sent out the sched. (MONTHS ago) it was a totally BLANK week.

No AM practices, NO meets. The sched. said it was a BYE WEEK- as in GOODBYE- go on your vacations people. Final 2 meets after the 4th of July.

Now this.

Tell your daughter that you are so proud of her (DUH, I'm sure that you already did that) and that next year you'll be sure to go to the ceremony as a family and in the mean time, put those trophy's on display!

 

[FroggyinArk]

why should she have gone to awards when no one there was really making an effort to include her in the team spirit? I think imho you did the right thing, and instead of some boring assemblyt,, celebrate by taking her to the park or to a movie,, shucks take the kid to wdw as a celebration bet she can find a running buddy to be friends with there

 

[auntpolly]

One more thing, my daughter was (still is) a runner and tell your daughter we can sympathize with her frustration with the social aspects of the team. Running and swimming are just so different than other sports. It just doesn't have that "team feel" (no matter what anyone says, most times you are really running for yourself) like other sports. I'm not putting running or swimming down -- far from it. My DD is good at them and never liked soccer (she had a "friends don't let friends play soccer T shirt). But it's just harder to build up that comradery -- the girls alway seemed more introspective and focused on themselves and their race.

Some teams she was on the girls were her best friends in the world -- sometimes while she was very proud of the other girls and appreciated them, they were nothing more than coworkers.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just wanted to stop and congratulate your daughter, Kallison, and a for you both.

 

[Kallison]

Believe me I don't blame the girls or the coaches in any way. This was a huge team and they were nice enough to let us run on it (being as we are not Catholic). It was just one of those things, all the girls know each other from school and doing it year after year. I'm sure she will be better next year at knowing the other girls. It was just her statement - Why should I go, nobody knows my name. I know that nobody would have begrudged her the award at all. I just feel bad for not being there. It always helps to come here and get everyone elses experiences! Thanks guys. As for the coach, he did email me, and like I said the team is huge. He would probably be calling 50 or 60 kids and I wouldn't expect him to do that, although I did gnash my teeth a little and think - now why didn't he just................