I'm feeling very strange!

[Minnie Mare]

I'm leaving in a couple of days for my Mom and Son trip. My daughter (almost 15) did not want to come on this trip and my husband could not get off from work. I was fine with all this until now. I am feeling very sad and apprehensive about leaving them behind. I can deal with my DH not coming but I am heartbroken the my DD will not be with us. I will be celebrating my birthday there and this will be the first time my DD will not be with me on my birthday from the day she was born I don't know what to do about the way I feel. I should be busy packing and getting things in order but I seem to be procrastinating and I think it's because in a way I don't want to go without her. I need to snap myself out of this, any suggestions?

 

[ibouncetoo]

Of course you feel this way! My suggestion, tell your daughter how much you'll miss her (but not make it sound like a guilt trip for her choice) and plan a special mother/daughter excursion for when you return. And plan another one with your DH! Hmmmmm. maybe you'll end up with three birthday celebrations!

 

[Pin Wizard]

That can be tough, but I also think teenagers need to start doing their own thing within reason. It's always tougher on the parents than on them. When I first read this I thought...what's the problem? LOL! I'm just used to not celebrating birthdays I guess. Haven't celebrated one in 12 years. Last month a friend of mine e-mailed me and wanted to know what I did for my birthday. I told him...nothing special, it's just another day on the calendar.

 

[Minnie Mare]

ibouncetoo, thanks. I've been telling her all week how much I will miss her and lot's of tears too. I'm trying not to make her feel guilty but deep down I do want her to feel a bit guilty (I wonder how much I'm really trying). I feel like I'm losing her a little and that scares me. She's a great kid and just going through teen stuff, but it's still hard. This will be a fun and wonderful bonding time for me and my DS and I do want to plan something special with my DD, something that she would like. Maybe a weekend shopping trip or something along those lines. I'm just going on and on here and I apologize but it feels good to share these feelings. Thanks again

 

[Minnie Mare]

Originally posted by Pin Wizard
When I first read this I thought...what's the problem? LOL! I'm just used to not celebrating birthdays I guess. Haven't celebrated one in 12 years. Last month a friend of mine e-mailed me and wanted to know what I did for my birthday. I told him...nothing special, it's just another day on the calendar.

Pin Wizard, I don't really celebrate my birthday, in the literal sense. It's usually just me, DH and the kids. We just get a small cake and stick candles in it. We don't go out or do anything special but I get emotional (why? I don't know) that day and just want to be with them (same for New Year's Eve). I just feel strange that she won't be with me.

 

[damo]

Perhaps you should plan a vacation with just you and her. Talk about it before you leave and maybe that will help you to feel better.

 

[poohbear1029]

I know you dont want to be without her, but look at it from the flip side, maybe it will make it better - she will have some daughter/dad alone time while you are gone, which is very special too!

My mom and I are such a "team", even now that I am an adult that the only time I really have to learn who my Dad is is when my Mom cant be around us for whatever reason - like when I call home and he's home alone, etc.