IM etiquette ? Would this concern you?? UPDATE page 2

[Stepharoonie!]

Originally posted by dumboiu
I think you should bolt.........the other way!

Change your IM handle too.

JMHO

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Thank you everyone.

 

[Sleepy]

I met this guy through a message board because we had a similar medical disorder. We e-mailed a few times to update the progress of our condition as I had with several other people. I never gave this guy any indication that I wanted anything from him other than info about his medical progress. As with the others, once we exchanged info, we stopped communicating, but this guy keeps e-mailing me acting like we have this friendship. He claims to not live on this continent, but you never know. He wanted info about how he could get to America and work. I pointed him to the only direction I knew....Disney. He did not want that, so I dropped the topic. I never emailed him again, but he keeps sending me e-mails asking why I do not respond to him. His last one was an insult to my country (you know....the one he ws so deseperate to move to ) and to my people concerning this war. He insulted my family (we are military) and I e-mailed him to say I was not discussing anything political with him and he was very insulting and for him to stop e-mailing me. He responded with something like how I should have an open mind about what my country is doing and that what he said should not effect our friendship. HUH? He also keeps acting obsessed with getting my picture......like that is ever going to happen in a million years. I am not stupid. I have him on block with my e-mail. He still sends them, but I don't open them. I will be moving soon, so the e-mail addy will be no good. Why do people have to be like that?

 

[EsmeraldaX]

So , I found out today that last Friday after I left work, this creep IM'd my friend again. How he found her other screenname is beyond us.

She was totally freaked out. I hadn't talked to her since I left work Friday and this was the first thing she told me this morning.

I have reported him to AIM (no response yet, other than the standard one saying they'll look into it) and other than that I don't know what I can do.

 

[Pugdog007]

Do you really think it's ok to be Im'ing people from work? What does your employer think about it? Our IT dept has a strict policy about downloads... you are not allowed to download anything to your PC that is not approved. IM is not approved and I would write up anyone I saw doing this at work. JMO

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Pugdog007
Do you really think it's ok to be Im'ing people from work? What does your employer think about it? Our IT dept has a strict policy about downloads... you are not allowed to download anything to your PC that is not approved. IM is not approved and I would write up anyone I saw doing this at work. JMO

Well, we were given IM and told to use it. Our company is affiliated with AOL. They're also pretty laid back about email, IM etc.

And honestly, I don't see what my IMing from work has to do with this creep cyber-stalking me. He could very well be IMing me at home.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

And honestly, I don't see what my IMing from work has to do with this creep cyber-stalking me. He could very well be IMing me at home.

I thought he was a friend of yours? How did he go from friend to cyber stalker? Have you spoken to him in the last month?

 

[Bojangles]

I guess I'm having a hard time seeing this as a stalking situation. It sounds like he IM'd your friend asking where you were. If you chat with him every day, I don't see why that is so disturbing. Has he contacted you in "real life"?

 

[cheeringmom]

No matter is this creepo is a stalker or a friend, it is apparent that he is making Esmerleda uncomfortable. Follow your gut and if further action needs to be taken, do it!!!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68
I thought he was a friend of yours? How did he go from friend to cyber stalker? Have you spoken to him in the last month?

No he, was someone I met online via a message board like this one. I have befriended many people, male and female, through message boards and at first he seemed no different from any of the "normal" people. Then he started getting obsessive and scary and I asked him to not contact me anymore. So he started IMing and a friend of mine (found her name through one of my away messages) and then she changed her IM name and he somehow got ahold of the new name and started bothering her again asking where I was and why I wasn't talking to him and just generally acting like an obsessive, scary, creep.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Bojangles
I guess I'm having a hard time seeing this as a stalking situation. It sounds like he IM'd your friend asking where you were. If you chat with him every day, I don't see why that is so disturbing. Has he contacted you in "real life"?

No but he has tried very hard to get my friend to give him my real life contact info. I have warned my parents (they are listed in the phone book; I am not) that if he calls them, to not give him any info about me.

Hopefully, I'll never hear from him again.

 

[Straycat]

So , I found out today that last Friday after I left work, this creep IM'd my friend again. How he found her other screenname is beyond us.

I was thinking about how he might have gotten a totally different aim screenname for your friend, really cant figure it out because I am assuming this guy didnt have her email address but he has yours so...
If you go into AIM's preferences, then go into privacy - There is an option that says 'allow users who know my email address to find... and it has 3 options, first one being screenname, second is only that i have an acct, 3rd is nothing about me..
By defualt, it is set on the first one.

If you have used a different email address than this guy knows to set up your new AIM name, then you really dont have a problem, but you might want to go head and pick a more private option anyways.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Straycat
I was thinking about how he might have gotten a totally different aim screenname for your friend, really cant figure it out because I am assuming this guy didnt have her email address but he has yours so...
If you go into AIM's preferences, then go into privacy - There is an option that says 'allow users who know my email address to find... and it has 3 options, first one being screenname, second is only that i have an acct, 3rd is nothing about me..
By defualt, it is set on the first one.

If you have used a different email address than this guy knows to set up your new AIM name, then you really dont have a problem, but you might want to go head and pick a more private option anyways.

Thanks! I will do that & have my friend do the same, just in case he got her email address too.

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

X - Don't feel bad! I belong to a Dave Matthews Message board and sometimes we do large chat room. People start out as nice then can turn alittle weird.

One guy in particular was married ( his wife had met Dave on a businees trip) and was fine. He posted on our "Housewives thread" and everything was cool..then he started IM'ing me all the time and it became a bit obsessive...I blocked him from my IM list and after about a year, took off the block because I dodn't think he would still have me on his list...less than 24 hours later I had IM's from him..so I blocked again....Long story short, someone very nice can turn wacky!

ps...AIM allows people to seach for you by email address or name..AOL doesn't I don't think..

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by DisneyDmbNut
X - Don't feel bad! I belong to a Dave Matthews Message board and sometimes we do large chat room. People start out as nice then can turn alittle weird.

One guy in particular was married ( his wife had met Dave on a businees trip) and was fine. He posted on our "Housewives thread" and everything was cool..then he started IM'ing me all the time and it became a bit obsessive...I blocked him from my IM list and after about a year, took off the block because I dodn't think he would still have me on his list...less than 24 hours later I had IM's from him..so I blocked again....Long story short, someone very nice can turn wacky!

ps...AIM allows people to seach for you by email address or name..AOL doesn't I don't think..

Yikes. I wonder if that guy knows this guy... a year later??? Yikes. Good thing you blocked him.