I'm curious - A Modesty Question.

[Sorsha]

I suppose it depends on your standards of "modest"....

I was raised my a fairly liberal single mom who was a child of the 60's, in a household with just mom, me and my little brother. Poor little brother. Although none of us was given to wandering around in the nude once they were out of babyhood, it was not unreasonable to see someone in just his or her underwear. Little brother, as an toddler, was quite an accomplished nudist.

Now DH and I have three girls. The girls have all bathed and showered together (the younger ones still do) and when they were babies and toddlers they bathed and showered with DH or I. DH said the cut-off for each showering with him was when they discovered the differences in anatomy; one DD tried to "pull daddy's 'tail'" unexpectedly. Now the only expectation in our house is that all of your pertinant parts will be covered when you are not in your own room or the bathroom with the door closed. Be it underwear, clothes, PJ's, swimsuit, or whatever, if you are walking around amongst others, have all your bits and pieces covered up.

It is very important to me that my girls in no way feel any shame whatsoever about their bodies. I work very hard to make sure no one make any of them feels that there is anything shameful or dirty or anything that needs to be hidden about their bodies.

 

[Meriweather]

Both my parents were appropiately modest IMHO.
I saw them both in underwear.

I am modest. I think it might be a body image thing.
DH is not at all.....but he never walks around naked in front of the kids or other people.

 

[cteddiesgirl]

I saw my mom naked, but she wouldn't didn't care for others to see her naked. Unless she was in the hospital. Then it didn't matter.

My dad I've only accidentally seen. He is fairly modest. He certainly has never walked around the house even in just underwear. He has to have at least the bottom half covered up. But he grew up with 10 sisters

Me, I don't care if certain people see me naked or not. Others, I do care a lot. I'm pretty much like my mom for the most part. I also will not go out of the house with any part of my bra (including straps) showing. I feel indecent if I do. But, I tend to show a lot of cleavage.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I'm VERY modest, but then again our whole family has always had a Victorian attitude about modesty. I've never seen my parents naked and can count on one hand the times I've accidentally seen them in their underwear when I was growing up. I might change in front of my sister, but typically I'd be the one at the Y changing in the stall rather than in front of my locker. Whenever my sister or my mother and I go shopping for clothes, we always take separate stalls to try on clothes in.

DH says my modesty tickles him. The man has no shame over his body and, during our first few years of marriage, he always thought it was funny when I'd see him naked unexpectedly and my first instinct was to look at him and then look away blushing. I've gotten better at that.

As for my own modesty over being nude around him, I've gotten better at that, too. It still happens from time to time, but I think he enjoys my occasional discomfort at being unexpectedly nude around him. He says that sometimes the best part of the present is unwrapping the package.

 

[Arielle22]

I have 7 siblings and we grew up with 11 of us (8 children, parents and Nana) using 1 bathroom.

I never saw my brothers or my father naked. I did not see my mother naked until she was in end stage metastic breast cancer and i was caring for her.

DD 16 is modest. I have seen her partially naked once in the past 8 years when she was ill and I was helping her change.

DD 14 is another story. She would walk around buck naked if we let her. She hates wearing clothes.

DH and I are modest around the children. They do not see us naked. However we do sleep naked and have no issues seeing in other in the nude.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My mom was middle of the road, I guess. I did see her naked a few times when she was dressing or in the tub, but not often.

My husband and I are not at all modest around our children. My seven year old would be a nudist if he could (besides just being laid back, he has SID which makes a lot of clothing very uncomfortable on him). My seventeen year old has always been pretty modest. He's also pretty proper (I've never heard him pass gas and rarely hear burp).

I think it's more nature than nurture.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My dad went into the bathroom to take his shower fully dressed and came out fully dressed!

Wow.

My best friend when I was little was French Canadian, and I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it, but I used to see her dad naked a lot! He'd come out of the shower and walk to his room in all his glory! At first I was a little shocked (especially since at that point I was being raised by a single mom), but he was so comfortable and casual about it, it just became no big deal.

Of course, now if my daughter (and, incidentally, I don't have one) came up to me and told me that, I'd probably not let her go over there, anymore! I can't remember if I ever told my mom or not.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

My mother taught me that we all have the same parts - so really what is the big deal. I have no issues being nude where nude is appropriate - spa, locker room, gym shower etc.

Have seen my parents in their underwear, have seen them naked on occasion.

Not a big deal.

 

[MAKmom]

If I need to go into the Hallway naked I yell before I come out. "Close your eyes or they will be burned!" We have 3 girls & they all scream & run for their lives.

 

[CowboyCO]

We have two boys 11 & 8 and we are not modest at all around them. DW is starting to draw the line now that they are getting older and dressing behind closed doors, but they think nothing of walking in and asking a question if Mom is in the shower.

Like some posters here, DW and I had poor body image when we were young and actually had a body and now, well, there's too much to look at...

 

[N&B'smom]

I don't think it matters about the household. My brother and I grew up in the same house and he and his family have no issue being naked in front of one another. (they have a DS6 and DD10) I, on the other hand have no desire to be naked in front of my children...no need to scar them for life. Trust me, it is NOT a pretty picture!

 

[SplashMtnCrew]

wow

 

[ntsammy5]

DS15 and DS14 have never been modest until recently. Used to pee with the door wide open and undress with door open. Bugged the heck out of their sister. NOw that she is in college they have started closing and locking bathroom doors.

I can guess why!

 

[JVL1018]

My parents would be in their underwear in front of us, but not naked.

My husband and I are the same way with our kids-we have 1 boy, 1 girl, but we treat them the same regardless of if they are the same gender as us. I will walk around in my underwear no problem, as does DH, but after they turned 4 or 5, never was naked in front of them. Just a towel after a shower is also fine, I'll sit around like that and talk to them-I just will not be naked naked in front of anyone but DH.

My daughter is modest, she's 10-she will let me see her without a shirt, but not without underpants. She may let DH see her without a shirt but flips out about her brother seeing her.

My 8 year old son lets it all hang out-I constantly have to tell him that he can be naked in his room or the bathroom, but can't come and be in the living room buck naked..and that he needs to shut the bathroom door when he's peeing.

 

[JessicaR]

Thanks everybody! So interesting to read all the different views. I'll share a little more too!

First of all growing up we were three girls and my parents. My mom as I said is very modest - I have never even seen a glimpse of nakedness. I do kinda think its weird but it is what it is. My youngest sister and I are very not modest. We are still the same way. My middle sister is modest not to the extreme of my mom but very conservative. She isn't uncomfortable when we change in front of her but it isn't something she would do. We often vacation together and share a room just us girls and she does it all in the bathroom. We tease her but its all in fun.

My dad had dinner and breakfast most nights in his tee shirt and underwear. Who knew some thought that was unacceptable! He didn't do it in front of our friends. It was the norm. We walked around in bra and underwear and my mom would yell to cover up! We laughed, she was serious. So why the heck was it OK for dad...hmmm I am going to ask that question!

Now I have two boys and my husband and I. I'm guessing if we had a girl my husband wouldnt be so carefree. But who knows maybe he would. My youngest yells at him to put some clothes on! My son locks doors and turns red if he sees me changing or I see him. He likes his privacy and we all respect that. My other son on the other hand just has no modesty. He couldn't care less if he walks in on me changing. He would walk into the bathroom to have a conversation and have to be told to get the heck out I'll be out in a minute! The look on his face is this like whats the problem?

So it got me to thinking first how my sister and I were so alike but not so much with my middle sister. Also how the heck we are the way we are with a mom the way she is. And then again with my own children.

So in a nutshell I wondered what others dynamics were like.

Some of these replies had me in hysterics and some had me shaking my head in agreement and some had me going HUH? But all were appreciated! Thanks for sharing!

 

[Rora]

My mom was not at all modest- she'd walk around the house naked!

On the other hand, my dad was a bit more modest.. he always closed the door when he was changing (thankfully!!!), didn't want anyone in the bathroom when he was taking a shower, etc. That being said he lounged around our house wearing only work out shorts.. . He was modest at certain times.

 

[Syrreal]

We all shared one bathroom in our apt growing up. When you gotta go, you gotta go no matter who is showering.

 

[LisaInNc]

I was raised modestly but it caused all kinds of issues.

When I had my DD i decided to it differently. I walk around naked after a shower or while I am getting dressed. She is used to it. I am showing her that you can take pride in your body even if it isn't perfect.

I am trying, really trying to give her a positive body image. She is 9 1/2 so far so good.

Lisa

 

[Poohbear123]

My Mom was a widow at 38 and was raising 2 boys, and Me...so YEA Modesty was in HIGH gear, but as I got older my Ex took me out of that mold, but, now I notice I don't give a Whoo-Ha what anyone thinks, and I get undressed with my door open, right in front of............THE DOGS!.... I also wander around the house nude, as my DH could give a Whoo-ha too, he is 70 and has seen it all!

 

[kilee]

I grew up in a modest house. You went to the shower fully dressed and you came out of the bathroom fully dressed. Once we got to be teenagers you had to wear a bra w/ the exception of in your room at night, but it needed to go on first thing in the morning under your pajamas before you left your room. Funny thing was I have 1 sister and no brothers and my father was out of town most of the week for work . So I'm not sure were the bra rule came from considering it was usually all girls at home.

Anyhow, I am the COMPLETE OPPOSITE now. A towel will suit me just fine. My son is now 17 and he does not see me naked but he'll think nothing of walking in my room as long as I have underclothes on and talking to me. Ya know how many posted on here about their 9 & 10 yr old sons being naked if they could......my 17 yr old still hasn't outgrown that. I do wish he'd find at least 10% modesty in his body. Nope the boy has no problem walking through the house w/ dh and I there buck naked. I guess I've gotten used to it, but in the future his wife is gonna be in shock of the nudist she has on her hands.