I'm back boy did I miss this place but I missed Mean Laureen the most of all

Raulandpinboy

<font color=blue>Table-dancing auctioneer<br><font
Joined
Jul 15, 2001
Messages
1,705
Well I'm out the score State of Florida 250 the rest of the folks 2. I studied I read I was ready.

I went to take the test just as planned I had two calculators, 20 #2 pencils fully sharpened to the point that could take out a charging Rhino with one if the need ever arose, my 22 books, yes 22, aspirins, Pepto-Bismol bottle, my bottle of water, ruler, compass, depends underwear cause I only had 5 hours to take a 100 question test, and I was going nowhere!!!!, and last my nutritional power bar.

FYI 100 questions 5 hours that's 3-1/2 minutes per question with no breaks.

Let me share with you my day in hell.

You think standing in line with a bunch of pin traders is tough, ha a walk in the park compared to this.

First I had 22 books ranging from….

The NEC-2002 "National Electrical Code" this books tells you things like the amp rating of an electrical motor when connected to a failing pacemaker that was put way to close to a microwave.

The OSHA book "Occupational Safety and Health Administration" this books tells things like the fact that you need 1 toilet and 1 urinal for every 20 workers on a construction site… Okay my first complaint this book still lives in the early 50's when Beavers mom stayed at home and wore pearls and high heels to cook dinner, not work at a construction site… hmmm high heels at a construction site… hmmm no no no they would need to be steel tipped high heels and they would clash with the pearls. But my point is this I know very few women that use urinals, unless you're a man in princess drag with boa, and a wig at which point use of a urinal is perfectly approved, OSHA needs to join the millennium and realize that women are out there as well, and revise their standards to include this fact, beside it's a given fact that a man can take 30 seconds to go to the bathroom, women take 34 minutes 22 seconds on the average, now make them use a urinal and that time will double especially if they are in high heels.

The National Fire Alarm Code book. This book tells you things that all of you have wondered about, like how many Lumens rated in foot candles, does an exit sign need to emit during an emergency fire evacuation drill, held in a school during the middle of the day, while the moon was over Australia, and the cats in the cradle with the silver moon, when you coming home son I don't know when, but we'll get together then dad, you'll know we'll have a good time then.

The Builder's guide to Accounting. Just shoot yourself and pay taxes is the basis of this book, things are discussed like the MARC's system let you depreciate the value a machinery long before is usefulness runs it course, but the tax man wants his share regardless of how many urinals you have on the job site.

And several other books on Fire Alarm, Security, Network design, wire, Lightning and such, the lightning book for Florida is very basic it just reads "If you live in Florida things will blow up, The End"

With my books in hand… actually a cart, and all my other stuff, I was ready for anything. Snag #1 it seems that the state of Florida had hired the entire resident population of the Shady Oaks retirement home to help administer the test, nobody could get started until the check-in was complete, and the check-in consisted of the following.

The Check-in

#1 All 22 books had to be checked for writing, formulas, highlight marks, and removable tags. All the tags had to be permanent, no writing in the books was allowed, if they found any anywhere the page had to be removed.

#2 All your supplies had to checked in, the food the water, the pencils you come in with 20 pencils you leave with 20 pencils.

#3 Your calculators had to be the approved type and not a programmable type that would let you store formulas.

Now take all this and add into the mix Gladis a sweet 105 years lady using a walker who was assigned to me to check me in… Its now 7:15 AM and Gladis begins. Mind you I am not allowed to talk to my proctor person, its in the rules do not talk to your proctor unless you are having a heart attack. Then as Gladis is checking my books she starts to tell me about her grandson who is driving his mother crazy, out all night partying, fooling around with women twice his age, and mind you in her time kids knew their place and you never heard of things like this, but it was around the same time that women starting showing up at construction sites that these problems began…AND I CAN SAY NOTHING BACK CAUSE I'M NOT HAVING A HEART ATTACK YET, ALL I CAN DO IS LISTEN…. OH DEAR GOD TAKE ME NOW. I cant blame Gladis this is probably the first chance she's had to talk and say something else besides BINGO in like 10 years since her family stuck her in Shady Oaks cause she would not shut up about her grandson.

But then Gladis upset because she found a picture of my grandkids and saw that they were perfect, found something in one of my books that needed a ruling as to its legality, so she had to consult John the only state employee not in his 90's. So off she went to consult John with her walker going at a full .00000045 miles per hours she reached John in about ½ an hour, and John followed her back to me, and to be polite he refused to pass her and stayed behind her the whole way. This was good cause I used the time to go over my Electrical theory formulas, like how many volts versus amps would I need to zap Gladis to get to move faster, the final formula is discussed in the Disclaimer. Gladis arrived and John looked down at the book took 3 seconds and said "oh that's fine" and walked away.

Gladis now upset decided to get even with me by taking my water and power bar saying they needed to be tested by the lab for steroids and left me hungry thirty and my depends 1/3 full…. Ha ha ha but I'm sure Gladys's depends overfilled after she ate my power bar, and drank my water.

It's now 9:30 AM and I'm finally allowed inside the test room, I sit down get set up and take up ½ the table. Its perfect I can see the board, my books are set I even have time to hit the potty and spare my depends before we begin.

Then I see a man sit in front of me with a pencil and no books. I think to my self must be a brain I hate him. And I'm off to the bathroom. Once there I see something that breaks all the rules a room with over 200 Electricians, Architects, Engineers, General contractors, and the like… And only 2 urinals… Hello Florida read the OSHA book, since they are all trying to totally empty the bladders. I figure not worth it I have plenty of room in the depends I'm going back to my desk.

As I get back to my desk I see the brain man that was in front of me, running around with a look of fear on his face, I figure somebody stole his only pencil, but it seems he didn't realize this was the test he thought it was a prep for the test and didn't have his books with him, now he was running around looking to see if anybody had spare books to loan him. I didn't know about the rest of the group but I felt better, then the guy next to me starts giggling so I figure we all feel the same.

Its now 10:00 and the test begins just so you all get a feel of what I was going through here are three sample questions

#1 Emergency lighting facilities shall be arranged to provide initial illumination that is at least an average of ____ how many foot-candles.

#2 The inertia Sensor is an electromechanical ___________ that acts under the force of gravity.

#3 According to Florida Workers Compensation Law, officer of a corporation who are actively engaged in the construction industry, no more than _______ officers may elect to be exempt.

YEA and stuff like that, 5 hours went by in less than 30 minutes, I heard 3 people scream, several discharges of gas, and we laughed when Gladys's depends finally gave way.

I survived and will not know if I passed or not until 5 weeks from now, the State like to make you suffer.

Disclaimer….

I really like retired people I volunteer once a year at the Shady Oaks to talk to Gladis. I missed Mean Laureen the most, but still do not have an edit button of my very own. I know that 6 ft candles is the minimum, the inertia sensor is a vibration sensor, and 3 officers can claim to be exempt. I will never do this again until next time. No matter where you go, there you are.

The final Gladis power formula is 110volts at 20amps tied to her walker, apply power every time she lifts her leg, and stand back.
 
Welcome back Ed. Others tried to keep us entertained, but it didn't work.

Do you think you passed?
 
Uh oh ... Ed's back and it looks like he's making up for lost time. :p
 

LOL!!! I forgot how you described where you were when you were studying, but I had this vision of you locked up with the Keebler elves :). Glad to have you & your posts back!
 
Man oh Man is it good to have your posts back! :)

Heres to hoping you did ok on the test. Now onto the important things...wheres the free samples from the Keebler Elves? I know you told them all about the pin people...so hand them over PinBoy, where are they? ;)

Buggin'
Amber :p
 
Originally posted by Raulandpinboy
#1 Emergency lighting facilities shall be arranged to provide initial illumination that is at least an average of ____ how many foot-candles.

#2 The inertia Sensor is an electromechanical ___________ that acts under the force of gravity.

#3 According to Florida Workers Compensation Law, officer of a corporation who are actively engaged in the construction industry, no more than _______ officers may elect to be exempt.

Raul,

You didn't tell me you were studying this stuff. Man, you should have said something. I could have helped you out big time on this test.

#1 - well it is my belief that anyone who sticks candles on their feet are probably asking for an emergency. Candles should only be used by birthday cakes and Yankees (hey, I've been to enough Hallmarks to know those Yankees are into smelly flammable wax). I guess it really depends on the pain threshold of the person. As for me, you stick one birthday candle between my toes and ignite it, I will light up like a Christmas tree.

#2 - puppet

#3 - I believe that the State of Florida has proven in the 2000 presidential election that it doesn't really matter how many votes are cast, none are truly elected. So unless you plan on making me count a bunch of hanging chads you outta just back off Jackson!


Let me know if you need any more answers, I got a ton of them.

Jeff
 
And here I suffered greatly, and you had all the answers. Some friend you are.

Now can you help me get my power bar back from Gladis?????
 
I totally feel your pain.

Try sitting in a room for 2 and a half days taking the CP exam. Talk about stress. I actually lost most of my friends as I spent an entire year in my room studying to pass this insane exam.

Hope you passed. When you pass don't ever forget this torture!!!!!!!
 
Originally posted by Raulandpinboy
Now can you help me get my power bar back from Gladis?????

Was that Power Bar the 110 volt version or the 220? I might have a spare 110v Banana I can bring down with me if you need it. I like the 110v series better. They only used 107 foot-pounds of torque on the metal foil wrappers. Of course none of them are rated above 114 degrees so most of what I have are out of spec. Think of it kind of like Power Bar oragami but without the paper.

I am curious about Gladis though. Given your test revolved around lighting issues and you were being treated like a bunch of monkeys, would that make this a story of Gladis Light and the Chimps?

Jeff
 
Read Jeff's or Ed' posts while your mouth is full

I should have listened to Obi Wan..

Gladis Light and the Chimps???????

Good One Jeff!!
 
Yep. We definitely missed all this while you were gone. Hope you did well on the exam..d on't know if we'd survive you disappearing again. :)

AShley
 
all I can say is woiw, hope you passed and missed your posts too!
 
Donna,
I totally agree, allowing the two of them to post on the same topic is definately a good wait reduction exercise. You can't eat because you keep spewing your food all over the keyboard.
I don't know whether I should be jealous of all the fun the women who live with those two have, or wonder about them a little too. Peggie
 
Originally posted by pintrader
hope you passed and missed your posts too!

Hey Kathryn, is passing a post anything like passing a kidney stone? If so, I am going to cut way down on the number of words I am using. Raul, I gotta feel for you man. You are in for a very long night with that post... :eek:

Jeff
 
Raul, I just rad your post to my husband - he knew the answers to the first two questions! Two out of 100 isn't bad, is it? We don't live in Florida, so we don't care how many corporate executives count chads (I know I'm mixing Raul &
Jeff's posts!).

Peggie, I'm with you ... what do we think of Donna & Trina :)?

Thanks for the laughs guys!!
 















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